ludeless
New Member
Hey...long time lurker here... I’ve got a situation that that I could use some advice on. I’m finally getting myself back out there on the prowl after getting my head straight after a 7 yr drama filled LTR. Been out on a few dates w/ 2 different girls the past month or so. At first things were going great with both of them and it seemed like they were both really into me…but recently they’ve both seemed distant or hard to get a hold of. So here’s the story..
HB7: Met her about a year ago at a pub I go to all the time. We went out a couple times but nothing serious happened b/c she was going to travel abroad for the next 8 months or so. I wrote her a funny poem for V-day last year which she recently told me is what ‘got me in w/ her’, but didn’t want to start anything serious before she left. Kept in touch w/ her over IM, and we went out again when she returned from her journey. Conversations w/ her are great…there have never been any uncomfortable pauses or anything like that. I feel that mentally I’m on the same level with her on so many things.
So I spent the night at her parents house about a week before new years (yes, just sleeping… arghhh). Prolly the most uncomfortable sleep I’ve had in ages…very small bed. Her parents were out of town and she felt ‘weird’ about us using their bed.
So I had a new year’s party at my place and she came over, planning on spending the night. After the champagne was brought out it was all over. Actually, funny story about that when she went to get a refill I got a call from a girl (HB8) who I’d given my number to a couple weeks earlier…told her I’d call her back later in the week which she didn’t think I was going to do, but back to the first one) She got too drunk and ended up passing out while we watched TV on the couch. I got her up at about 5am and we went and slept in my bed…she was just begging to feel her hangover so didn’t want to try anything. So when we later got up around noon her hangover was in full swing. Before she got up to leave, she asked ‘so when’s the next sleepover’. I told her to name the date and she said next Friday, but wasn’t sure how her mom would feel about it.
So Friday rolls around and she calls me to make plans… wanted to do dinner and a movie…said something like ‘I don’t think I’m gonna come over tonight…gonna have to wait on that’. No idea if this was b/c of her mother or if she just changed her mind. In any case, I thought the date was good up until the movie. I’m not a big fan of seeing movies w/ ppl I’m dating…hard for me to make any type of move during the movie. So I walked her to her car afterwards and we made out for a few minutes and off she went. I wasn’t too upset b/c I had a date w/ HB8 for the next night.
So this was about 3 weeks ago, and I haven’t seen her since. We have talked online about 2-3x a week. She initiates about 25% of the conversations. She’s told me that work has been stressing her out and she’s spending 2.5 hours at the gym daily and feels like she has no time to have fun. I invited her out to see a local band at the last minute (2 hours before the show)...told her I was going there w/ some friends and if she wanted to come to gimme a call. She didn’t get the message til It was too late. Next week I was super busy fixing my car so had little time to chat w/ her…was also trying to see if she’d initate a convo this time. She did about midway through the week…mentioned she was going to Toronto for the weekend to visit family and her best friend (she does this quite often 2 ar 3x a month to see her sisters new baby). I don’t think this is an excuse to not see me at all. When we talked this week I mentioned I had an extra ticket for George Carlin and asked if she’d be interested in going… she said she wanted to, but was gonna be in Toronto for her friend’s B-day.
Sooo… at this point I’m wondering how I should play this. I’ve asked her out a couple times with no success…although prolly for legit reasons. I don’t want to make her think that I’m not interested in her anymore by not contacting her. But on the other hand I don’t want to come off as being needy or that guy who stresses out b/c she hasn’t called. I have been thinking about this way too much, and realized I was doing it after reading a post from someone else in a similar position, so I’m now changing this. No more worrying about stuff I have no control over. In any case…any advice or thoughts on how I could move things forward w/ her.
Onto the next one…
HB8: Met her in a club… I was hanging out w/ an old **** buddy that night and she actually introduced her up to me by saying ‘You should give her your phone number…don’t you think she’s cute”…after a little while I did give it to her as we were leaving. Not expecting her to call at all. She called during the New years party and we chatted for about a minute…I told her I’d call back later.
I wasn’t originally planning on calling her…thought this would be wrong as I was pursuing the other one. Then my buddies and a few female friends talked some sense into me. So I called her and setup a date for that weekend.
We met at a restraint/bar, and hit another micro-brew afterwards. This girl was a little better looking, but I didn’t quite click as well w/ her. I did get a lot of good chances to practice kino and teasing her about different things. I guess whatever I did worked well, she drove me back to my car, and we had about a 45 minute long make out session in her car. At one point she was sucking on my finger tips as I was brushing them by her chin.
:woo:
She called me a few days later, and came over to my place since she was in the area. We sat and talked for a while, but she and I both had to work early in the morning so she was only there for an hour or so. Kissed her a few times before she left…not nearly the magnitude as the first date..and she asked ‘so I’ll see ya again?’. So that Saturday, she called me and I missed the call. Actually was on my way to go hang out w/ other friends downtown. Her message said ‘I’m by your house and was just seeing what you were up to, gimme a call’. I got it a couple hours after she left it so didn’t bother calling back since I was having fun where I was at.
So I called her on Monday, but phone died before I could leave a message… I texted her later, seeing if she wanted to see a Brew ‘n View later in the week (movie theater w/ beer)…she wrote back and said she had to work nights. Didn’t think much of it, she just stared going back to school and is a nurse and had to work nights for school.
I tried calling her maybe 3 days later at night and got voicemail. Left a short message just said called to see what’s up..gimme a call when you get a chance’. Didn’t hear anything…so on Monday I sent a text asking what her schedule looked like for this week…she said she was working nights again. I haven’t called or sent a text since then. Would like to set something up for this weekend, but don’t wanna seem desperate since she hadn’t called me back… Dunno… Any Thoughts?
Wow…I’ve been typing for entirely too long and I gotta get ready to go out tonight and get some more practice in (and have a hell of a time doing it!).
Thx
HB7: Met her about a year ago at a pub I go to all the time. We went out a couple times but nothing serious happened b/c she was going to travel abroad for the next 8 months or so. I wrote her a funny poem for V-day last year which she recently told me is what ‘got me in w/ her’, but didn’t want to start anything serious before she left. Kept in touch w/ her over IM, and we went out again when she returned from her journey. Conversations w/ her are great…there have never been any uncomfortable pauses or anything like that. I feel that mentally I’m on the same level with her on so many things.
So I spent the night at her parents house about a week before new years (yes, just sleeping… arghhh). Prolly the most uncomfortable sleep I’ve had in ages…very small bed. Her parents were out of town and she felt ‘weird’ about us using their bed.
So I had a new year’s party at my place and she came over, planning on spending the night. After the champagne was brought out it was all over. Actually, funny story about that when she went to get a refill I got a call from a girl (HB8) who I’d given my number to a couple weeks earlier…told her I’d call her back later in the week which she didn’t think I was going to do, but back to the first one) She got too drunk and ended up passing out while we watched TV on the couch. I got her up at about 5am and we went and slept in my bed…she was just begging to feel her hangover so didn’t want to try anything. So when we later got up around noon her hangover was in full swing. Before she got up to leave, she asked ‘so when’s the next sleepover’. I told her to name the date and she said next Friday, but wasn’t sure how her mom would feel about it.
So Friday rolls around and she calls me to make plans… wanted to do dinner and a movie…said something like ‘I don’t think I’m gonna come over tonight…gonna have to wait on that’. No idea if this was b/c of her mother or if she just changed her mind. In any case, I thought the date was good up until the movie. I’m not a big fan of seeing movies w/ ppl I’m dating…hard for me to make any type of move during the movie. So I walked her to her car afterwards and we made out for a few minutes and off she went. I wasn’t too upset b/c I had a date w/ HB8 for the next night.
So this was about 3 weeks ago, and I haven’t seen her since. We have talked online about 2-3x a week. She initiates about 25% of the conversations. She’s told me that work has been stressing her out and she’s spending 2.5 hours at the gym daily and feels like she has no time to have fun. I invited her out to see a local band at the last minute (2 hours before the show)...told her I was going there w/ some friends and if she wanted to come to gimme a call. She didn’t get the message til It was too late. Next week I was super busy fixing my car so had little time to chat w/ her…was also trying to see if she’d initate a convo this time. She did about midway through the week…mentioned she was going to Toronto for the weekend to visit family and her best friend (she does this quite often 2 ar 3x a month to see her sisters new baby). I don’t think this is an excuse to not see me at all. When we talked this week I mentioned I had an extra ticket for George Carlin and asked if she’d be interested in going… she said she wanted to, but was gonna be in Toronto for her friend’s B-day.
Sooo… at this point I’m wondering how I should play this. I’ve asked her out a couple times with no success…although prolly for legit reasons. I don’t want to make her think that I’m not interested in her anymore by not contacting her. But on the other hand I don’t want to come off as being needy or that guy who stresses out b/c she hasn’t called. I have been thinking about this way too much, and realized I was doing it after reading a post from someone else in a similar position, so I’m now changing this. No more worrying about stuff I have no control over. In any case…any advice or thoughts on how I could move things forward w/ her.
Onto the next one…
HB8: Met her in a club… I was hanging out w/ an old **** buddy that night and she actually introduced her up to me by saying ‘You should give her your phone number…don’t you think she’s cute”…after a little while I did give it to her as we were leaving. Not expecting her to call at all. She called during the New years party and we chatted for about a minute…I told her I’d call back later.
I wasn’t originally planning on calling her…thought this would be wrong as I was pursuing the other one. Then my buddies and a few female friends talked some sense into me. So I called her and setup a date for that weekend.
We met at a restraint/bar, and hit another micro-brew afterwards. This girl was a little better looking, but I didn’t quite click as well w/ her. I did get a lot of good chances to practice kino and teasing her about different things. I guess whatever I did worked well, she drove me back to my car, and we had about a 45 minute long make out session in her car. At one point she was sucking on my finger tips as I was brushing them by her chin.
:woo:
She called me a few days later, and came over to my place since she was in the area. We sat and talked for a while, but she and I both had to work early in the morning so she was only there for an hour or so. Kissed her a few times before she left…not nearly the magnitude as the first date..and she asked ‘so I’ll see ya again?’. So that Saturday, she called me and I missed the call. Actually was on my way to go hang out w/ other friends downtown. Her message said ‘I’m by your house and was just seeing what you were up to, gimme a call’. I got it a couple hours after she left it so didn’t bother calling back since I was having fun where I was at.
So I called her on Monday, but phone died before I could leave a message… I texted her later, seeing if she wanted to see a Brew ‘n View later in the week (movie theater w/ beer)…she wrote back and said she had to work nights. Didn’t think much of it, she just stared going back to school and is a nurse and had to work nights for school.
I tried calling her maybe 3 days later at night and got voicemail. Left a short message just said called to see what’s up..gimme a call when you get a chance’. Didn’t hear anything…so on Monday I sent a text asking what her schedule looked like for this week…she said she was working nights again. I haven’t called or sent a text since then. Would like to set something up for this weekend, but don’t wanna seem desperate since she hadn’t called me back… Dunno… Any Thoughts?
Wow…I’ve been typing for entirely too long and I gotta get ready to go out tonight and get some more practice in (and have a hell of a time doing it!).
Thx