summerwinter
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- Dec 9, 2012
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18 months Journey. Question for experienced DJs.
Long background and my journet. Questions are at the bottom, would appreciate any advice from more experienced DJs.
Background: 28 y.o., came from a traditional middle class family and had been a nerdy introvert nice guy with no social skill all my life (I love playing computer games).
Growing up believe the typical path of get a good education, a good job and promotions to find someone nice to marry, get a house, mortage, kids and a family dog. I worked very hard in high school to get into a top uni and even harder in uni (I didnt go to much party and spend all the time in the library). My HS gf went to a different uni, so I dumped her when I met another girl from my own uni who later became my 2nd gf. After uni, I work hard at the job and bring in good money), something that makes my parent proud, but inside I am still that whimpy nerd that feel lucky just to have a gf. We went LDR after uni, she moved back to our own country and I decided to stay because the money is better here. We dragged on for 5 years and see each others only twice a year, living on practically no sex and almost get used to it.
This all start to change 18 months ago, there is a attractive 26 y.o. blonde chick I met at work, we became good friend, flirts over msn at work, I really thought we could be in love if we spend more time and one night me, her and her mate went to a club, she made out with couple guys and dance on stage with her mate getting all the attensions. We shared a taxi when we came out of the club, she was sleeping on my shoulder, being the biggest AFC ever existed, I have no idea how to make a move, so I just get off the taxi myself and said good night to her. At the back of my mind, I just ratioalise it as not wanting to mix in work and romance, she sit just two rows from me in office. Few weeks later, at a work drink, she was getting close to her boss, a 36 years old married guy with kids. They got kicked out when the bar security found them in a closet together. Being a AFC, I confessed my love over next few days, she rejected me straight away. That is the darkest few months in my life, having to see and hear she flirt in the office with her boss and be reminded of my failure every day, but also is the months when I growth a lot.
I found this site on google and came to know the DJ bible. This really open my eyes and see everything I have been doing in my life was wrong, I was AFC and with low self esteem. I used to be puppy in front of a alpha guy and freeze when talking with girls. I need to be a man, lift weight and hitting on chicks. My journey so far:
18 months ago: Started reading DJ bible, went to a 10 weeks beginner improv class to improve confidence. Push me out of the comfort zone and learn to socialise with people in the class.
15 months ago: Heart is still getting torned apart every day from hearing and seeing the flirting in the office. Improv class finished, be friended with a shy and nervous italian girl on class
14 months ago: Started going to gym classes, feeling embrassed that I cant do a single pull up.
13 months ago: Went to a meet up event to practice some technique from DJ Bible, got the phone number of a girl couple years older. First time ever in my life to call a chick to arrange a date, because all previous gf was always a friend first. My heart was pumping so hard it was about to come out. She agreed, but cancelled a day later, because of age different.
12 months ago: Go on a intermidiate acting course with the shy italian chick. Push me out of the comfort zone once again. Met a 35 y.o. ex-army guy, a girl in the class obviously liked him, and he like her too, but was too shy to make the move. Feeling the comfort that there are some one worst than me (he had 10 gf previously thou). I practice the conversation technique with a new girl, some kino and she thought I am good. Guess talking to girls aint so hard and DJ bible is right.
11 months ago: Reading book of pook, know the definition of man and some basic understanding of red pill mindset
9 months ago: Been reading the alchemist, discovered how we should all be chasing dreams and not girls. Girls will only come if you have dreams and ambitions
8 months ago: Go on advance acting course with the (now not so) shy italian chick. Got a role playing a gay husband in a monolog play. At the end of the play, there is a performance with 30 audiences. Confident is at sky high, after all I was acting gay in front of 30 people, some of them my friend.
7 months ago: Went to sailing class for a week for the first time. Love it! Met some nice people and feel that I am not at the bottom of social rank anymore.
6 months ago: After training for one year, now I can do 9x10 set of pull ups in 50 mins, chest grown 2 inchs!! A even hotter chick in the office is locking eyes with me everytime I walk pass. But as the DJ bible and my experience with the first office chick, I am going to give this a pass. But it is good to know girl of that caliber is checking me out. Feeling much confident in social situations.
5 months ago: Went on a beginner stand up comedy class with that now not as shy chick again and couple people from acting class. English not my first language and I only seen couple stand up show in my life. Pressure is on. A possitive start, one of the blonde chick slightly wide on the course is asking me if I am single. I ask depends on who ask, she said "Me". But the youngish instructor overhead and said no love string within the class. Fair enough, at least I know I am silver, if not gold. there is always another one
3 months ago: Performance night, I went on stage and did 5 mins of my stand up routine in front of about 200 audiences. Man, that was quite something. It went exceptionally well, most people think I am the best one among 12 other rookie comedians. Confident rise to space high. When a hot eastern european classmate ask me for a fiver for the thank you card to the instructor, I rub her nipples and stuff it in her bar, (While typing this, I suddenly remember I asked her for her phone number, but for some reason, I didnt ask her out and forgotten about it. UMM.) I invited many colleague to the show and my standing within my friend circle + office have improved. I am equal in social rank with everyone else. Even the *******s in the office make some attempt to be friend with me, before they would just walk all over me and I was a carpet.
For the last three months, I have been busy revising for my driving test theory, doing a theory course to get the sailing license and to work on another routine for my stand up. I have this tunnel vision habit I picked up from teenager, that when I am focuing on something, everything else is secondary, so every day at work, I rush to do work and not waiting to spend time at the water cooler to chitchat. When after work, I go gym/comedy workshop to work on my routine sets, so didnt put any time into DJ. Went to a house party last night and noticed how bad my social skill have became (it wasnt great to start with, but it got worsen for the last 6 months).
Concerns:
1) I would say my inner game is fairly sound. Feel good about myself, in my own skin and not care about what others have to say or think about me. I display no emotion to the point that that first impression some people got about me is calm and stable. Few months back I can talk to anyone, but not sure why, now I don’t seems to care about others to the point that I dont want to talk to them. And this definitely need to change, I shall re-read the art of seduction and mystery method. And start practicing outter game, after focuing on fixing inner game for so long. I hope the transition will not too hard -- conversation is hard for introverts like me.
2) I understand I won't be all star in 18 months, but my progress seems feel very slow, when others are posting reports bang HB 10 day in day out
3) Hair is starting to thin at the top, not a major problem yet, but just hate it when I start to know learn game and hair is losing. (guess I start learning game too late)
Any advice/Comment would be appreciated
Long background and my journet. Questions are at the bottom, would appreciate any advice from more experienced DJs.
Background: 28 y.o., came from a traditional middle class family and had been a nerdy introvert nice guy with no social skill all my life (I love playing computer games).
Growing up believe the typical path of get a good education, a good job and promotions to find someone nice to marry, get a house, mortage, kids and a family dog. I worked very hard in high school to get into a top uni and even harder in uni (I didnt go to much party and spend all the time in the library). My HS gf went to a different uni, so I dumped her when I met another girl from my own uni who later became my 2nd gf. After uni, I work hard at the job and bring in good money), something that makes my parent proud, but inside I am still that whimpy nerd that feel lucky just to have a gf. We went LDR after uni, she moved back to our own country and I decided to stay because the money is better here. We dragged on for 5 years and see each others only twice a year, living on practically no sex and almost get used to it.
This all start to change 18 months ago, there is a attractive 26 y.o. blonde chick I met at work, we became good friend, flirts over msn at work, I really thought we could be in love if we spend more time and one night me, her and her mate went to a club, she made out with couple guys and dance on stage with her mate getting all the attensions. We shared a taxi when we came out of the club, she was sleeping on my shoulder, being the biggest AFC ever existed, I have no idea how to make a move, so I just get off the taxi myself and said good night to her. At the back of my mind, I just ratioalise it as not wanting to mix in work and romance, she sit just two rows from me in office. Few weeks later, at a work drink, she was getting close to her boss, a 36 years old married guy with kids. They got kicked out when the bar security found them in a closet together. Being a AFC, I confessed my love over next few days, she rejected me straight away. That is the darkest few months in my life, having to see and hear she flirt in the office with her boss and be reminded of my failure every day, but also is the months when I growth a lot.
I found this site on google and came to know the DJ bible. This really open my eyes and see everything I have been doing in my life was wrong, I was AFC and with low self esteem. I used to be puppy in front of a alpha guy and freeze when talking with girls. I need to be a man, lift weight and hitting on chicks. My journey so far:
18 months ago: Started reading DJ bible, went to a 10 weeks beginner improv class to improve confidence. Push me out of the comfort zone and learn to socialise with people in the class.
15 months ago: Heart is still getting torned apart every day from hearing and seeing the flirting in the office. Improv class finished, be friended with a shy and nervous italian girl on class
14 months ago: Started going to gym classes, feeling embrassed that I cant do a single pull up.
13 months ago: Went to a meet up event to practice some technique from DJ Bible, got the phone number of a girl couple years older. First time ever in my life to call a chick to arrange a date, because all previous gf was always a friend first. My heart was pumping so hard it was about to come out. She agreed, but cancelled a day later, because of age different.
12 months ago: Go on a intermidiate acting course with the shy italian chick. Push me out of the comfort zone once again. Met a 35 y.o. ex-army guy, a girl in the class obviously liked him, and he like her too, but was too shy to make the move. Feeling the comfort that there are some one worst than me (he had 10 gf previously thou). I practice the conversation technique with a new girl, some kino and she thought I am good. Guess talking to girls aint so hard and DJ bible is right.
11 months ago: Reading book of pook, know the definition of man and some basic understanding of red pill mindset
9 months ago: Been reading the alchemist, discovered how we should all be chasing dreams and not girls. Girls will only come if you have dreams and ambitions
8 months ago: Go on advance acting course with the (now not so) shy italian chick. Got a role playing a gay husband in a monolog play. At the end of the play, there is a performance with 30 audiences. Confident is at sky high, after all I was acting gay in front of 30 people, some of them my friend.
7 months ago: Went to sailing class for a week for the first time. Love it! Met some nice people and feel that I am not at the bottom of social rank anymore.
6 months ago: After training for one year, now I can do 9x10 set of pull ups in 50 mins, chest grown 2 inchs!! A even hotter chick in the office is locking eyes with me everytime I walk pass. But as the DJ bible and my experience with the first office chick, I am going to give this a pass. But it is good to know girl of that caliber is checking me out. Feeling much confident in social situations.
5 months ago: Went on a beginner stand up comedy class with that now not as shy chick again and couple people from acting class. English not my first language and I only seen couple stand up show in my life. Pressure is on. A possitive start, one of the blonde chick slightly wide on the course is asking me if I am single. I ask depends on who ask, she said "Me". But the youngish instructor overhead and said no love string within the class. Fair enough, at least I know I am silver, if not gold. there is always another one
3 months ago: Performance night, I went on stage and did 5 mins of my stand up routine in front of about 200 audiences. Man, that was quite something. It went exceptionally well, most people think I am the best one among 12 other rookie comedians. Confident rise to space high. When a hot eastern european classmate ask me for a fiver for the thank you card to the instructor, I rub her nipples and stuff it in her bar, (While typing this, I suddenly remember I asked her for her phone number, but for some reason, I didnt ask her out and forgotten about it. UMM.) I invited many colleague to the show and my standing within my friend circle + office have improved. I am equal in social rank with everyone else. Even the *******s in the office make some attempt to be friend with me, before they would just walk all over me and I was a carpet.
For the last three months, I have been busy revising for my driving test theory, doing a theory course to get the sailing license and to work on another routine for my stand up. I have this tunnel vision habit I picked up from teenager, that when I am focuing on something, everything else is secondary, so every day at work, I rush to do work and not waiting to spend time at the water cooler to chitchat. When after work, I go gym/comedy workshop to work on my routine sets, so didnt put any time into DJ. Went to a house party last night and noticed how bad my social skill have became (it wasnt great to start with, but it got worsen for the last 6 months).
Concerns:
1) I would say my inner game is fairly sound. Feel good about myself, in my own skin and not care about what others have to say or think about me. I display no emotion to the point that that first impression some people got about me is calm and stable. Few months back I can talk to anyone, but not sure why, now I don’t seems to care about others to the point that I dont want to talk to them. And this definitely need to change, I shall re-read the art of seduction and mystery method. And start practicing outter game, after focuing on fixing inner game for so long. I hope the transition will not too hard -- conversation is hard for introverts like me.
2) I understand I won't be all star in 18 months, but my progress seems feel very slow, when others are posting reports bang HB 10 day in day out
3) Hair is starting to thin at the top, not a major problem yet, but just hate it when I start to know learn game and hair is losing. (guess I start learning game too late)
Any advice/Comment would be appreciated
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