1: Top priced ***** - She’s hot, and she ****ing knows it. Her last 3 boyfriends where great looking and were ****ing rich. If you come up to her with a fake FUBU shirt on and a bus pass your probably not gonna get the *****. I mean, do me a ****ing favor, size up the ***** first, if she looks way to ****ing good, you might be onto something.
2: Top priced *****s FAT friend - I hope you brought a wingman. Poor bastard.So, if your up to par with the high class ***** friend, your gonna need someone to take one for the team. He has to be courageous and faithful to the wing man rules. If you know a friend of this caliber, give me his number. I have had too many friends of mine who swore elegances to the wing man code, and then broke for the door on me when I needed them the most. But, besides that, if the fat friend takes your buddy as bait and it works, you’re in for some high priced *****. Don’t tell anybody about your friends demise. First rule of Fight Club, DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB. Your friend will thank you.
3: Girls with boyfriends/Husband - she wont tell you until you buy her 5 drinks, but you can still be friends. ****ing ***** just likes attention man. Nothing worse than that ****. She knows better, and she knows she’s not gonna give you the ***** but continues to take drinks and flirt like a *****. You have been bamboozled man, she won, walk away, chalk it up, you lost. But don’t fall for the **** again, chump.
4. Shes a "4" but acts like a "10" - just ****ing annoying. Somewhere some how some dude lied to her and treated her like ****ing royalty, so now you have to, too. Bull****, she’s not even worth it, the ***** maybe nice, but lets some other dude put work in. She’s just gonna get on your nerves and your friends are gonna wonder why your even putting up with the ****. So, do me a favor, do what I would do, walk away, and wait for a better ***** to show up. Don’t worry about it.
5. The "rebel" that could be ****ing hot, but instead she purposely dressing like **** to "make a statement" Another thing I ****ing hate to see. She’s obvious gorgeous but some how she got this notion that people would respect her more if she looked like a beast. She has it all wrong. But, this does not mean she don’t like men. I bet all it takes is some drinks, the right questions to make herself sound smart and interesting, and you’re in that *****. Before you never talk to her again, let her know how great ****ing looking she could be if she dressed nice and put some ****ing makup on. If I can get the word ****ing out threw you dudes, it be much appreciated.
6.Your ex-girlfriend - She’s not going away and she’s watching you. Stupid crazy slut wants you back, but some how it’s your fault for missing the "signs". It ended for a reason man, and your probably thinking to yourself that it be nice to **** again for old time sakes. But, are you gonna end up having to explain AGAIN that you don’t want to be her boyfriend. It is best you steer clear of this ***** man, I mean, you have already gotten the ***** before, Let it go.
7. Your ex-girlfriend with her new boyfriend - What a ***** right? Where the **** does she get off bring that dude here, she knew you'd be here. If he’s bigger, don’t look at him, and play it cool. You can flatten his tires on the way out. But if you’re bigger, make life good and stare man. He’s probably a ***** anyway.
8. Lesbians - Well, are you trying to put work in really? She knows what she wants man, just cut your losses and go searching for ***** somewhere else. But, if she’s drunk, by all means, try. She’s been dieing for **** anyway, im sure.
9. Newly divorced Elder lady’s - This is a cool one. She’s looking for **** man. She had done the bar thing a million times before she got married. She’s most likely gonna guide you threw it. So, by all means, shut up and don’t say anything stupid, because she’s all about the mood. But, if she’s drunk, it’s probably a ****ing lock, you’re in that *****. I bet you in her hay day she was a dirty slut in bed. She’s just dieing to do it again. Life is good, man
10. The single mother - This one is weird. She’s looking for one of two things, man, and it aint a one nightstand in that *****. That’s how she got her little bundle o' problem last time. She wants a boyfriend, and most likely a guy whose gonna treat her kid well. Run man, it is only your problem if you stay around like an idiot and put work in. But, if she’s hot, you have my blessing. A hot mother is a key piece of *****, see what you can get.
11. The girl looking for love - Look man, I don’t know what to say. These *****es are a crazy one to deal with. She’s probably got her guard up, and gonna make you put huge work time in to get at that *****. But, if you talk it just right, and make her believe you want to see her again, she just might let you at that *****. It has happened, either women think if they give you some of the ***** that your gonna stay around or they completely just get caught up in the moment and forget that you just might run out after you get the *****. I don’t advise you deal with this kind of *****, but, if it’s a hot one, by all means, die trying.
12. The obvious dude in girl’s clothes - He's not tricking you right? And well technically I shouldn’t include him in the list, because he is not actually a girl. But, I have known guys that have been tricked before, and they were all thinking the same thing you are right now. We all think we can spot if "Its" actually a guy. Look man, stray away, if you’re not sure, then it’s not worth finding out. Because, if she actually does have a *****, it will be a ****ing weird road to find out so. So, if in question, find something else, man.
13. Your mother’s good friends - Anything you say or do to her man will be found out. She’s probably already figured out she’s not gonna give you any *****, I mean what kind of friend to your mother would she be if she ****ed her son. So, say hello, look the other way, and don’t try for that *****.Your just not getting it, and that’s final. You can spend a better effort going somewhere else.
14. Friends ex-girlfriends - Dude, common. It wouldn’t be right. But, she’s a ****ing slut in the sack, your friend told you all about it. It’s always gnawed on your brain what it be like. Well, your friend was probably who ****ed up the relationship, right? You or her cant be held responsible if he’s a ****ing moron for ****ing it up and forfeiting that great *****. Personally, I would do it. Get at that ***** raw, and take if for what it is. I wouldn’t say a word to anybody, not even other friends, they got ****ing big mouths. So, again, if you think this ***** wont use the little **** fest your about to have as some sort of vengeful thing to tell the ex, then by all means tame that ***** hard, because it might be the only chance you get, man.
15. The fat girls - She knows she hasn’t got the looks man. She is probably waiting for you to get drunk really. Maybe in some alcoholic ****ing haze you would stick her pork ass. Me? Well, I would hold her off, be nice, and make sure not to spend much time with her at first. Because, when it gets to 2 in the morning and your still without any kind of ***** locked, she’s gonna look pretty ****ing good. Don’t let your friends see man, or anybody else for that matter if you leave with her. Your rep is on the line, but your feening for the *****, so do it like a pro and do it quit and desecret and you could just pull off getting the ***** and denying it to everybody when you’re called on it. If they didn’t see you leave with her, than she’s the ****ing liar. Fat *****.
16. The ugly girls - Well, I could have just thrown these sea donkeys in with the fat ones, but what the ****. She’s probably most likely got a body, but the face is hurt, we have all seen it right? Do her man, **** it right and keep her around on the lonely nights. Don’t bring her home so your dad can throw up, but just keep her in the wing for that *****. She has probably already dealt with a guy keeping her out of site, and getting the *****. So, be creative and play it cool. You could pull off being my ****ing hero. But, for leaving in front of your friends and everyone else at the bar, make sure your walking away form them, so all they get is a view of her sexy ass body and her hair. And never show her to them ever again.
17. The molested when she was 10 girl - Well, a sad thing really. ****ing uncle or some **** got a hold of her. She has huge emotional **** still going on in her head, man. Even though it has been at least 10 or so years since it happened. So, your probably gonna get the *****, no ****. These girls love to put out. But, it aint coming without a price. You better be ready to have the emotional explosion happen once she finds out you just got the ***** and left. It may of been a good **** for you, but she’s already into some sort of mental thing of trying to get you to stay. So, if you want the huge ****ing problems and probably a ****ing scene the next time you see her in public, go ahead and **** her. ***** with emotional problems is no good for anybody, man.
2: Top priced *****s FAT friend - I hope you brought a wingman. Poor bastard.So, if your up to par with the high class ***** friend, your gonna need someone to take one for the team. He has to be courageous and faithful to the wing man rules. If you know a friend of this caliber, give me his number. I have had too many friends of mine who swore elegances to the wing man code, and then broke for the door on me when I needed them the most. But, besides that, if the fat friend takes your buddy as bait and it works, you’re in for some high priced *****. Don’t tell anybody about your friends demise. First rule of Fight Club, DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB. Your friend will thank you.
3: Girls with boyfriends/Husband - she wont tell you until you buy her 5 drinks, but you can still be friends. ****ing ***** just likes attention man. Nothing worse than that ****. She knows better, and she knows she’s not gonna give you the ***** but continues to take drinks and flirt like a *****. You have been bamboozled man, she won, walk away, chalk it up, you lost. But don’t fall for the **** again, chump.
4. Shes a "4" but acts like a "10" - just ****ing annoying. Somewhere some how some dude lied to her and treated her like ****ing royalty, so now you have to, too. Bull****, she’s not even worth it, the ***** maybe nice, but lets some other dude put work in. She’s just gonna get on your nerves and your friends are gonna wonder why your even putting up with the ****. So, do me a favor, do what I would do, walk away, and wait for a better ***** to show up. Don’t worry about it.
5. The "rebel" that could be ****ing hot, but instead she purposely dressing like **** to "make a statement" Another thing I ****ing hate to see. She’s obvious gorgeous but some how she got this notion that people would respect her more if she looked like a beast. She has it all wrong. But, this does not mean she don’t like men. I bet all it takes is some drinks, the right questions to make herself sound smart and interesting, and you’re in that *****. Before you never talk to her again, let her know how great ****ing looking she could be if she dressed nice and put some ****ing makup on. If I can get the word ****ing out threw you dudes, it be much appreciated.
6.Your ex-girlfriend - She’s not going away and she’s watching you. Stupid crazy slut wants you back, but some how it’s your fault for missing the "signs". It ended for a reason man, and your probably thinking to yourself that it be nice to **** again for old time sakes. But, are you gonna end up having to explain AGAIN that you don’t want to be her boyfriend. It is best you steer clear of this ***** man, I mean, you have already gotten the ***** before, Let it go.
7. Your ex-girlfriend with her new boyfriend - What a ***** right? Where the **** does she get off bring that dude here, she knew you'd be here. If he’s bigger, don’t look at him, and play it cool. You can flatten his tires on the way out. But if you’re bigger, make life good and stare man. He’s probably a ***** anyway.
8. Lesbians - Well, are you trying to put work in really? She knows what she wants man, just cut your losses and go searching for ***** somewhere else. But, if she’s drunk, by all means, try. She’s been dieing for **** anyway, im sure.
9. Newly divorced Elder lady’s - This is a cool one. She’s looking for **** man. She had done the bar thing a million times before she got married. She’s most likely gonna guide you threw it. So, by all means, shut up and don’t say anything stupid, because she’s all about the mood. But, if she’s drunk, it’s probably a ****ing lock, you’re in that *****. I bet you in her hay day she was a dirty slut in bed. She’s just dieing to do it again. Life is good, man
10. The single mother - This one is weird. She’s looking for one of two things, man, and it aint a one nightstand in that *****. That’s how she got her little bundle o' problem last time. She wants a boyfriend, and most likely a guy whose gonna treat her kid well. Run man, it is only your problem if you stay around like an idiot and put work in. But, if she’s hot, you have my blessing. A hot mother is a key piece of *****, see what you can get.
11. The girl looking for love - Look man, I don’t know what to say. These *****es are a crazy one to deal with. She’s probably got her guard up, and gonna make you put huge work time in to get at that *****. But, if you talk it just right, and make her believe you want to see her again, she just might let you at that *****. It has happened, either women think if they give you some of the ***** that your gonna stay around or they completely just get caught up in the moment and forget that you just might run out after you get the *****. I don’t advise you deal with this kind of *****, but, if it’s a hot one, by all means, die trying.
12. The obvious dude in girl’s clothes - He's not tricking you right? And well technically I shouldn’t include him in the list, because he is not actually a girl. But, I have known guys that have been tricked before, and they were all thinking the same thing you are right now. We all think we can spot if "Its" actually a guy. Look man, stray away, if you’re not sure, then it’s not worth finding out. Because, if she actually does have a *****, it will be a ****ing weird road to find out so. So, if in question, find something else, man.
13. Your mother’s good friends - Anything you say or do to her man will be found out. She’s probably already figured out she’s not gonna give you any *****, I mean what kind of friend to your mother would she be if she ****ed her son. So, say hello, look the other way, and don’t try for that *****.Your just not getting it, and that’s final. You can spend a better effort going somewhere else.
14. Friends ex-girlfriends - Dude, common. It wouldn’t be right. But, she’s a ****ing slut in the sack, your friend told you all about it. It’s always gnawed on your brain what it be like. Well, your friend was probably who ****ed up the relationship, right? You or her cant be held responsible if he’s a ****ing moron for ****ing it up and forfeiting that great *****. Personally, I would do it. Get at that ***** raw, and take if for what it is. I wouldn’t say a word to anybody, not even other friends, they got ****ing big mouths. So, again, if you think this ***** wont use the little **** fest your about to have as some sort of vengeful thing to tell the ex, then by all means tame that ***** hard, because it might be the only chance you get, man.
15. The fat girls - She knows she hasn’t got the looks man. She is probably waiting for you to get drunk really. Maybe in some alcoholic ****ing haze you would stick her pork ass. Me? Well, I would hold her off, be nice, and make sure not to spend much time with her at first. Because, when it gets to 2 in the morning and your still without any kind of ***** locked, she’s gonna look pretty ****ing good. Don’t let your friends see man, or anybody else for that matter if you leave with her. Your rep is on the line, but your feening for the *****, so do it like a pro and do it quit and desecret and you could just pull off getting the ***** and denying it to everybody when you’re called on it. If they didn’t see you leave with her, than she’s the ****ing liar. Fat *****.
16. The ugly girls - Well, I could have just thrown these sea donkeys in with the fat ones, but what the ****. She’s probably most likely got a body, but the face is hurt, we have all seen it right? Do her man, **** it right and keep her around on the lonely nights. Don’t bring her home so your dad can throw up, but just keep her in the wing for that *****. She has probably already dealt with a guy keeping her out of site, and getting the *****. So, be creative and play it cool. You could pull off being my ****ing hero. But, for leaving in front of your friends and everyone else at the bar, make sure your walking away form them, so all they get is a view of her sexy ass body and her hair. And never show her to them ever again.
17. The molested when she was 10 girl - Well, a sad thing really. ****ing uncle or some **** got a hold of her. She has huge emotional **** still going on in her head, man. Even though it has been at least 10 or so years since it happened. So, your probably gonna get the *****, no ****. These girls love to put out. But, it aint coming without a price. You better be ready to have the emotional explosion happen once she finds out you just got the ***** and left. It may of been a good **** for you, but she’s already into some sort of mental thing of trying to get you to stay. So, if you want the huge ****ing problems and probably a ****ing scene the next time you see her in public, go ahead and **** her. ***** with emotional problems is no good for anybody, man.
Was that so difficult? lol