1.Intense dating two girls, 2.Fall too quick, 3.Like bad girls, 4.PUA=the answer?

atree

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1. Intense feelings when I date two girls at the same time, my instinct tells me to choose one and the guilty side of my personality struggles to deal with the morals, I’m never comfortable in this situation and it affects how I act; I become nervous and uncool. I’d like to date both and keep it cool (I did have an ex girlfriend who was very very possessive)

2. I think I let my heart go too quickly but how do I put the reins on my heart and still seem genuine? Heart and being genuine seem too strongly linked together for me.

3. Fall for girls who ignore my texts and treat me like ****! I’m guessing its more complicated than that, the ones who are hot are not as keen on me because they have other options.

4. I’m not a PUA and I don’t know if really want to be one but I’d try to learn the skills if I thought it’d help me get a nice girl and a relationship, do you think it will help to get me my main goal?

5. I get too excited when things seem to be going well on a date, how do I calm down and act real cool?!!

Your thoughts on these would be great :)

A little about me…I want a serious relationship (maybe that’s where I’m going wrong!), I’m 36 years old, smart, not bad looking but a little short and skinny, I’m in a new town and have quite a few friends but my best friends are back in my home town.
 

Revel

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Breifly reading threw this.. (sorry off work and drowsy)
reading through 2-4 I can see that you may depend on woman for happiness and validation. Read book of pook.. kill that desperation! it will take time to implement it into your life but ya. Work on finding your happiness and inner peace through yourself. It is mandatory for any human being. Don't let external things validate you. because they will always fail you. Rather finding it internaly it will always belong to you.

examples like sports, socal circle, drugs and WOMAN. how many men do you know make these things their life.
 

Sneevox

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My best advice, OP, would be to restrain from physical tougirlsch with too many and just trust your gut instinct on what you should do in every situation. There is no way things can go wrong when you do that.
 

atree

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Sneevox, tougirlsch, do you mean refrain from seeing two girls at the same time? Yup, gut instinct is good and don't lose my head which I have been doing. However I think I need to really keep a grip on reality here, I've had two dates with one and one with the other; I really like one of them and am undecided about the other. Sometimes my gut instinct creates a fantasy which is well away from reality which I need to steer clear of.

Revel - thanks, just got the book, will put it on my Kindle and get to reading it this evening; I'll update this post and know how I get on. I'm usually pretty good about being dependent on things and am usually strong in most situations but as soon as I like a girl and it feels like it's not gonna work out I become pathetic! Again, I think I must not lose my head but see things for what they are, continue showing an interest, stay strong, be suave, be fun (but not the joker) and don't depend on something that is not yet real, focus on the now. No girl wants a guy who's too desperate or places too much pressure on a relationship, especially early on. I read a book called Burmese Days by George Orwell, the main character John Flory is desperate and falls in love after creating a fantasy in his mind with the girl he sees only a few times, she is the only route out of his unhappy life; it's a very powerful book that I would recommend people avoid if you even consider empathising with him.
 
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