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Dude, you need to step up and stop avoiding what so many others have already pointed out. Get some GOOD professional help. Posting about the latest source of anxiety, discontent or unhappiness here, as you do usually in multiple new threads each week, isn't addressing the underlying issue...

Hi, first time poster here. I'm still new to plate spinning/DJ lifestyle but I'm trying to learn it in earnest. Was married 4 years, separated for a year now, and finalising my divorce. A friend turned me towards The Rational Male and it made me understand how much of a compromising little AFC...