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The deal with FL. is that I like FL., well some parts of it anyway. I have an ex GF that lives down there, and even though that relationship is over, I have seen a lot of the southern half of the state. I want to be able to swim outdoors, and I like the fat that in the areas I am looking, there...

Looks like I will be separating soon after 25 years of marriage. I'm 53, in shape, considered good looking, and the separation is my choice. A big reason behind the separation is that I did meet another woman, had a 27 month affair, and got dumped because I cheated on the OW and did not leave my...

The answer is control and manipulation: http://www.psychforums.com/borderline-personality/topic46042.html If I were you, I would remain silent rather than appear to be an idiot. Just sayin'

I maintain that everyone is different, and there is no way a person can say "these people do this", or "those people do that", especially when dealing with someone with a PD. I was just relating my experience.

Hello all, I inadvertently started a new thread a few days ago on my relationship with a BPD. Is there anyway the thread can be incorporated into this one?

Ok, one more point- I have also been posting on a love/marriage/divorce forum for about 18 months. Its funny how different the responses are there, with so many people, men and women, telling me to come clean to my wife and work on my marriage and/or myself. Just very different from the guys...

OK, last reply for now. Too many responses here. Thank you all. First, if I was happily married this never would have happened. I was vulnerable because my sex life was pretty bad as far as the wife is concerned. Maybe once a month, and after 32 years together, I am just bored even with that...

I doubt this is true, that a BPD would cling tighter to a cheater. BPDs fear abandonment. They push away.

Actually she has sworn up and down that she never has. I tend to believe her because other than an on again-off again 8 year affair that ended over ten years ago, she did not cheat on her husband until we met, according to her. I actually do believe her, if she had cheated on me, she would...

True, no doubt. I do have narcissistic tendencies. Maybe more. C'est la vie!

She does about half those things, and a "positive" result for BPD is five affirmative answers out of the nine questions. She has six affirmative. As for the things you mention, which are not the questions asked-yes, rages on for hours, yes, wracked up lots of CC debt and does not pay or...

Thank you. I have lived as a cheater for 27 months straight, and occasionally before that. That is not a life I really want. To me, that is an unfulfilling life filled with women who bang you for money, or women you really don't like much, or women you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole if you...

I have spent more than 20 hours reading up on BPD. Probably closer to 100 hours, including forums and a book she got for me on loving a person with BPD. That was before she denied she had it, LOL

BPD Diagnosis

It's not that I am overly generous, but what she is entitled to is what she is entitled to. She makes a good living, and could take less than half my pension and still be fine. But if she insisted on half, I wouldn't fight her. It would be wrong and pointless to fight what she entitled to...

It's basically a sexless marriage, which I just learned is defined as having sex 10 or fewer times per year. And when you give up the sex, you lose so much more. Besides that, 32 years with the same woman, 25 married to her. Nah, it ain't really doin' it for me. Here's a sad but...

And just for the record, I would gladly give my wife half of everything acquired during the marriage. I have told her twice I was unhappy and wanted out. Each time she cried and said she didn't want to lose me-so I stayed. And in staying I lost the BPD. I guess this is for another thread, but...

You must be single, or a newlywed, LOL

Hi guys, maybe this should be moved to another group or something, but I don't know where, so I'm starting a new thread. I am just coming off a 27 month affair with a self diagnosed BPD who often denies she has BPD. It was suggested by her adult daughter's therapist that the mother (my ex...