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"Women Pretend They Don't Know You Want to Have Sex If You Don't Remind Them Every Time You Meet Them by Sliding Your Hand Between Their Legs." - Dr Skankypoon

I just keep sending them increasingly desperate messages.

When a woman offers you a choice of: A. Sofa B. Guest room C. My bed I'd go for C.

Agree, don't send her a desperate emotional message. If you do that she'll either ignore you or pull away even more. It's better to stay calm and just try to move things forward by meeting up and escalating as much as you can.

Normally when women let you suck on their nipples it means they're interested. But this one is Brazilian, so maybe she was just offering her nipples to be polite.

She works at Hooters. She should be looking for McDonald's workers, as they are on her level and might be willing to put up with a semi-prostitute.

Maybe she'll be fat and ugly with green hair and bad breath. I wouldn't get too excited just yet.

Fat ugly women also know that you want to have sex with them. Even if you don't

In the 1800s they married whichever lord had the largest top hat.

Personally I think that women were always the same. It's just that their behaviour is now on display in all of it's ugliness.

That's just wrong. You should have said 5 beans.

It can happen sometimes but it's not a good strategy. If you want more than just friendship you should be clear about that from the start, otherwise you will end up wasting a lot of time on women that are not interested.

Doctor Skankypoon prescribes a trip to the Philippines.

If a woman is not responding positively just turn around and walk away. You don't need to care about why they are like that, most of them just are.

Just stay away from that topic, if you can. Try to avoid too much talking anyway and just escalate as quickly as possible.

Ask her if she likes elevator sex.

Bad idea Most women take everything literally and absolutely have no sense of humour.

Why not test their puzzy first?

I don't know why you'd ever feel the need to tell them.

But so what? Why did he owe her a free dinner? I thought women were equal.