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Indeed this is the problem. I've seen others have it, but no one even close to as bad as mine. It does look like laser hair removal is the only clear solution, but not only do I not want to go through the process of it all, I don't want to completely kill the hair follicles. I want to be...

First off, let me say that it's not that I don't know how to shave. I've done it all. All of the DJ tips, everything on the net, everything on this board, all types of razors, electric and manual, warm water, hot water, during a shower, after a shower, Mach 3, Quatro, Mach 3 Turbo, cheap bic...