Bad AA Approaching Groups in Nightgame

[BPH]

OK....I am almost 63 so my advice is going to be as a much older man who was exactly where you are right now at one point. My advice is also going to be somewhat complex.

First things first, men must work on themselves. Eating right and fitness are a HUGE part of that (I also push martial arts very heavily). The next huge part is career development. You absolutely have to get that nailed down, but that topic is beyond the scope of my answers on a relationship forum. But yeah, you need work there. But I am sure you can do it. My best jobs did not come until I was nearly 40.

But here is the thing about relationships: Is increasing your body count beyond 98 going to make you significantly happier? I doubt it. Now mind you...IMO, seducing women and having sex with them is one of the most awesome things a man can do. My body count is 86, and looking back I wish I would have banged a few more. But the big difference, is quality of sex. Keep in mind, the vast majority of my body count was not from 1 night stands. In fact, the average duration of my relationships was about 3 months. And this was more often than not from women who were in love with me, giving me the absolute best sex they could....kind of a sexual Olympics. The best sex is not on the first night, the best sex is usually during months 2 and 3 when a woman has really learned (and is giving 100%) trying to please you.

Keep in mind, I am not pushing marriage on you....30 is too young to be married...but having said that, you don't want to be 63 and single, trust me, you want to be in a committed loving relationship, preferably a marriage to a younger, high quality women who will be by your side no matter what. In order for that to happen, at some point you need to master relationships and learn how to A, select a high quality women, and B, keep her in love. IMO, here is the hierarchy of relationships (from best to worst) and also stages that a man should go through is he wants to maximize happiness in his life.

#1 (the best): Managing a 3 woman rotation of beautiful high quality women who are in love with you. Remember, women will be moving in and out of your rotation so you will be with many women and this status can last many years. This situation will give you the best sex of your life. The only problem is that this status...while sustainable for many years, can't go on forever.

#2 Is a tie: A: Being young (20 something) and banging tons of women, but mostly one night stands and very short term relationships. This is you by the way. You are very good at opening and seducing women, but not good at sustaining relationships. But that is OK cause you are young and sowing your wild oats as all young men should do. Actually, if you are under 35, this is better than marriage. B: Marriage to a beautiful, younger, how quality woman who loves you and enhances your life in every way. Actually B is def better if you are over 40.

#3 Single and all alone. However this situation gets worse with age. Its OK at 25 but NOT something I would want at 65. But generally it is better than...

4: In a bad relationship. Generally the worst situation you can be in.

What is important to understand, is that generally these are phases. A guy is alone and has either been in bad relationships, or is just not good with women, at all. But said guy comes on this forum and studies (or reads my book, watches my videos) and through tons of hard work and discipline gets good at seducing women. That, actually, is you.

Now what I am suggesting for you, is that you start developing yourself who is someone who is good at MORE that just seducing women. Now you may disagree with me, but I think if you can start A: Learning how to weed out/select higher quality women, and B: Get those women to fall in love with you, that that would start to bring you more contentment in life. Your are doing this while simultaneously improving your career/living situation, etc.

Now, this in no way means you are going to be in an LTR anytime soon....this is not a process that happened overnight...but in, say, 4-5 years you could be running a rotation of very high quality women...not nut jobs like the one you are in a relationship, but beautiful loving, giving, mentally healthy, solid women. You, as I did, have to learn to stop making mistakes. Now you are 35...this does not mean you are married or anything like that, you just have very high quality women in your life and no longer have to deal with any garbage/baggage. You have choices.

You would be much more content.

I read this last night, but ended up going out so I wanted to be able to sit down and reread this in its entirety before I responded.

First, I wasn't going to bother correcting you and @SW15, but I'm actually at 99, not 98. 99 was the headcase I mentioned in my other post who unfollowed and removed me the Sunday after we hooked up because she wasn't getting the attention she wanted and felt like I was ghosting her.

Second, I'm sure this information leads you to believe you have a pretty good understanding of who/what I am: good-looking model type, high body count, young, aggressive, and direct, maybe somebody who's making up for being a late bloomer by running up the score, etc. While there may be some truth in that, the reality is I simply enjoy a variety of women. They kiss differently, they f*** differently, they have different personalities, they have different interests, they smell different, they act different - I find it fun to experience that spectrum. However, I do also enjoy high-quality sex, as you've mentioned, which comes from spending more time with these women as we "figure each other out". I am definitely not opposed to that, but that often comes with desires of exclusivity on her part, which I am not interested in. Once that option is ruled out, she, understandably, often stops seeing me at one point or another. Which brings me to my next point...

Third, I CAN maintain a relationship, I just don't WANT to. As mentioned above, I don't offer exclusivity, generally. I don't enjoy it; hour-long FaceTime calls just to talk about nothing, not doing enough on X holiday (Valentine's is dead and buried for me) and having a fight, arguments about problems that don't exist or are misinterpreted, etc. The problem I need to solve is my financial situation. That should be the focus of my attention, not being the person responsible for solving her problems now, too. The few times I was exclusive were generally pretty good, but didn't last long. So I'm capable of being satisfied by 1 person rather than a variety of people, but I'm not interested in being distracted by what's necessary to maintain that at this stage of my life.

I generally agree with your advice and would love to have a rotation of 3 beautiful women giving me love and sex, but I don't think that's realistic for me right now. Right now, I am content with regular sex from a variety of women. So long as I'm not going too long without it, I'm ok. If the women are happy to see me, knowing there's not a serious relationship on the table, I'm happy to see them. Sometimes that can become a relationship, as it has with the 3 serious relationships I've had, but it is not a requirement and not something I'm looking for.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Third, I CAN maintain a relationship, I just don't WANT to. As mentioned above, I don't offer exclusivity, generally. I don't enjoy it; hour-long FaceTime calls just to talk about nothing, not doing enough on X holiday (Valentine's is dead and buried for me) and having a fight, arguments about problems that don't exist or are misinterpreted, etc

I don't know what your past relationships have been like but not all relationships function this way.

Mine doesn't! YAWN.

You just haven't found the right girl yet... or perhaps you have? The way you described the girl whose cat died (overlooking her mental issues) sounded close.

I mean her being caring without pressuring you for "more," understanding distance and allowing for "space" without freaking out and seeking reassurance.

That said, there is certainly nothing wrong or bad about not being in one... not everyone is cut out for it.

Just saying that not all relationships are how you described above. I (as a woman) would not want nor last in a relationship like that either!

 

[BPH]

I don't know what your past relationships have been like but not all relationships function this way.

Mine doesn't! YAWN.

You just haven't found the right girl yet... or perhaps you have? The way you described the girl whose cat died (overlooking her mental issues) sounded close.

I mean her being caring without pressuring you for "more," understanding distance and allowing for "space" without freaking out and seeking reassurance.

That said, there is certainly nothing wrong or bad about not being in one... not everyone is cut out for it.

Just saying that not all relationships are how you described above. I (as a woman) would not want nor last in a relationship like that either!

I'm sure good ones exist that AREN'T what I described above, but I also don't need a serious relationship at this stage of my life, so the required effort isn't worth the maybe reward.

 

[SW15]

First, I wasn't going to bother correcting you and @SW15, but I'm actually at 99, not 98. 99 was the headcase I mentioned in my other post who unfollowed and removed me the Sunday after we hooked up because she wasn't getting the attention she wanted and felt like I was ghosting her.

One more until the triple digit notch count!

 

[BPH]

One more until the triple digit notch count!

A lot of people will probably read that and think that I'm running up the score to compensate for something, or that I must have low standards, or that I keep that number on hand as something to brag about...

Really I just like sex with multiple women and keep track because I'm organized. I used to remember names, but unless somebody was notable, those days are long gone.

 

[Dr_jitsu]

I read this last night, but ended up going out so I wanted to be able to sit down and reread this in its entirety before I responded.

First, I wasn't going to bother correcting you and @SW15, but I'm actually at 99, not 98. 99 was the headcase I mentioned in my other post who unfollowed and removed me the Sunday after we hooked up because she wasn't getting the attention she wanted and felt like I was ghosting her.

Second, I'm sure this information leads you to believe you have a pretty good understanding of who/what I am: good-looking model type, high body count, young, aggressive, and direct, maybe somebody who's making up for being a late bloomer by running up the score, etc. While there may be some truth in that, the reality is I simply enjoy a variety of women. They kiss differently, they f*** differently, they have different personalities, they have different interests, they smell different, they act different - I find it fun to experience that spectrum. However, I do also enjoy high-quality sex, as you've mentioned, which comes from spending more time with these women as we "figure each other out". I am definitely not opposed to that, but that often comes with desires of exclusivity on her part, which I am not interested in. Once that option is ruled out, she, understandably, often stops seeing me at one point or another. Which brings me to my next point...

Third, I CAN maintain a relationship, I just don't WANT to. As mentioned above, I don't offer exclusivity, generally. I don't enjoy it; hour-long FaceTime calls just to talk about nothing, not doing enough on X holiday (Valentine's is dead and buried for me) and having a fight, arguments about problems that don't exist or are misinterpreted, etc. The problem I need to solve is my financial situation. That should be the focus of my attention, not being the person responsible for solving her problems now, too. The few times I was exclusive were generally pretty good, but didn't last long. So I'm capable of being satisfied by 1 person rather than a variety of people, but I'm not interested in being distracted by what's necessary to maintain that at this stage of my life.

I generally agree with your advice and would love to have a rotation of 3 beautiful women giving me love and sex, but I don't think that's realistic for me right now. Right now, I am content with regular sex from a variety of women. So long as I'm not going too long without it, I'm ok. If the women are happy to see me, knowing there's not a serious relationship on the table, I'm happy to see them. Sometimes that can become a relationship, as it has with the 3 serious relationships I've had, but it is not a requirement and not something I'm looking for.

There is absolutely nothing unreasonable about anything you have said. Plus, getting laid a lot/constant pick up is a good place to be at 30. But will it be so at 40, or 50 plus...? No. Like I said, being an accomplished pick up artist when you are young is a great place to be...seducing women is one of the most enjoyable things I ever did on life. But at 50 I had a wife and son...raising him was equally if not more enjoyable. Watching him go from a chubby little kid to an elite athlete (captain of his wrestling team...his school even had a parade for him when he went to state) was amazing. Having a solid family is awesome. As an almost 63 year old man I would be very sad if I did not have my family.

And your idea of relationships is very different from what I promote. Tha LAST thing I want guys doing is having hour long phone convos/texting. That is what girlfriends do, not men and kills her interest in you. If a woman wants to see you, it has to be face to face. When you have a high quality women and manage the relationship properly, fights are non existent. In fact, among guys I have coached the number 1 killer of relationships is fights and arguments. 2 of my best friends are divorced because their relationships devolved into fighting. They also selected poorly. These guys were players but not able to sustain relationships. I almost NEVER fight with my wife. It kills love. If my wife even tries to start an argument with me she knows I will be gone in a second so she does not do it. I just don't think you understand what a really GOOD relationship is like. One of the criteria for settling down is a woman must give you one golden years of flawless dating, no major arguments.

Being a PUA is fine at age 30 but eventually you will want someone or basically you will be in a state or perpetual adolescence.