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Recent content by Harry Wilmington IDS

  1. H

    Oneitis. I understand it logically/rationally, but cant seem to shake it

    And within the first line, you gave yourself your solution. At the point you actually start caring - i.e. giving a crap - about what she thinks/feels about you, you LOSE. Men hear that and think it means you shouldn't care about women at all. That's not what that means. It's understanding that...
  2. H

    Messed up... I think it might be over?

    WOOOOOW, reading this situation reminds me of the kind of stuff I used to post on here 20 years ago when I was 23 and still trying to figure all this stuff out. In that time, the biggest lesson I've learned is this: DATING ISN'T HARD. WE MAKE IT HARD. How? By dating low interest chicks and...
  3. H

    The most confident way to ask a woman out via text

    Yeeeeah no. Wording absolutely matters, especially to women. Women don’t make decisions in a vacuum—how you phrase your invite affects how she perceives you. Your argument assumes her interest is fixed, but attraction is fluid. A confident, well-worded invite can increase her interest, while a...
  4. H

    The most confident way to ask a woman out via text

    If this has worked for you, then by all means keep doing it. However, in all my years of dating and being in relationships (including the woman I'm engaged to now), I've gotten far more yeses for dates by NOT asking what their schedule is. I frame my ask the way I said the OP should do it: I...
  5. H

    The most confident way to ask a woman out via text

    This text was way too long, and framed in a way that put her in control. No bueno. Let's break it down: "So was (trip) all you had hoped for?" This was not a necessary question. You don't really care about her trip like that, you just want to get with her. At best, you could have said "Hey...
  6. H

    The most confident way to ask a woman out via text

    This thread is a few days old now - did you ever end up asking her out?? And yeah, like other said, you spent too much time texting this chick. Texting KILLS attraction. The only reason women typically give you the number - assuming they're interested - is so you can call or text them for a...
  7. H

    Dealing with a very confident girl

    Sooooo what you're saying here is: you didn't pay her much attention, you didn't try to force yourself into meeting her, and the result was that SHE let you know she wanted you to talk to her by making herself blatantly available? THIS IS EXACTLY HOW IT GOES WITH GETTING THEM INTO A...
  8. H

    From "SoSuave Newbie" 20 yrs Ago to Dating Success - Ask Me Anything

    The reality is, chasing women at ANY time is a waste, but not for the reasons you think. You could easily meet a woman in your 20s and have it work out. My dad was 28 when he married my mom who was 23; and my brother got married at 25 and has been happily married for 15 years now. The...
  9. H

    From "SoSuave Newbie" 20 yrs Ago to Dating Success - Ask Me Anything

    It's been a few years since I did online dating, but I had a lot of success on Hinge. Their site is set up a bit classier than many of the other ones and I liked their prompts a lot better. That said, I also had success on Tinder. Ultimately, though, the platform doesn't matter as much as how...
  10. H

    Dealing with a very confident girl

    And rightfully so - most women need 2 to 3 months to solidify their feelings for you. It gives them time to do their due diligence, observe how consistent you are, and "feel" her way through her growing emotions about you. 6 dates in isn't enough time, so she shouldn't be over-committing you to...
  11. H

    From "SoSuave Newbie" 20 yrs Ago to Dating Success - Ask Me Anything

    Hey all! It's been a while since I've been on these boards (under a different name). I originally joined SoSuave back in 2005. At the time, I was in college and struggling HARD to find success with women. I new nothing about game, attraction, IOIs or any of the terminology used today, and had...
  12. H

    Dealing with a very confident girl

    This is EXACTLY why I advise not to do it. Not to say that there aren't women out there whom will not be turned off if you ask directly, but the probability is much higher that they will be. Now, I'm not a woman, but I can tell you from personal experience how women will hint wanting to upgrade...
  13. H

    Dealing with a very confident girl

    I think this woman means well... but don't do this. My experience, combined with the 20+ years I've been helping men with their dating lives, has lead me to the observed conclusion that you, as the guy, bringing up the topic of being in a relationship is more likely to make her lose interest...
  14. H

    it's not in my nature to make others to feel on "emotional rollercoaster"

    Here's a whole video that does a good job of explaining how to give women a "positive" emotional roller coaster experience:
  15. H

    She stopped texting

    She's not responding because texting kills attraction. Women don't text you to gain a digital pen pal, they text you so you'll know they're interested enough for you to ask them out. Stop trying to have text conversations and use it only to ask women out, and you'll have less problems in general...
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