Juggling some options, wondering what you guys think about this particular one

[BackInTheGame78]

Alright so...

2-weeks old girl is content with planning when she will come next since I can't go to her because I'm watching the cat.

Sunday girl I might see today, and if not I can see her whenever during the week.

Month-old girl said she would be free yesterday but didn't answer when it came time, so I went and hung out with the older woman.

We were at the bar for a long time, all the way until closing, with her friends from the night before plus the hot older friend that likes younger guys. Ended up inviting my woman over afterwards, we made out, f***ed, and she gave me a BJ before she left around 3 AM. Texted her goodnight and hoped she got home safe, and that was it.

She was very self-conscious the entire time; apparently she had been thinner before getting on birth control and recognizes that she needs to start going back to the gym - noting that she's surprised she's gotten soft since she says she barely eats. I didn't have any complaints. Not the hottest woman I've been with, but she has a little thickness in the right places and had pretty great boobs for her age. Still, it's always fun to be with someone new.



The backstory was just to establish there might be some extra hoops to jump through that I wouldn't have to concern myself with when it comes to other women. Thankfully she was receptive, if a bit passive.




Yeah, I still have no idea what he's talking about.



I usually just say something along the lines of "I'm open to a relationship, but I'm picky, so I just see how things go".

Really that's all you need to say. They just have to have some hope even if it's just a sliver of hope that you will consider her for an LTR.

 

[SW15]

I went and hung out with the older woman.

We were at the bar for a long time, all the way until closing, with her friends from the night before plus the hot older friend that likes younger guys. Ended up inviting my woman over afterwards, we made out, f***ed, and she gave me a BJ before she left around 3 AM. Texted her goodnight and hoped she got home safe, and that was it.

She was very self-conscious the entire time; apparently she had been thinner before getting on birth control and recognizes that she needs to start going back to the gym - noting that she's surprised she's gotten soft since she says she barely eats. I didn't have any complaints. Not the hottest woman I've been with, but she has a little thickness in the right places and had pretty great boobs for her age. Still, it's always fun to be with someone new.

It looks like this is Notch #95 and that's good for your notch count.

You were able to get pussie without much effort from this older woman. Only 2 nights of socializing resulted you getting pussie. That's good.

 

[Solomon]

So, my family is all on a cruise for my mom's birthday, except me. I'm here taking care of the cat at the house for the next week, and I'm pretty keen on inviting some company.

I went out last night for a bit, had low expectations, but ended up meeting this hot older woman at the bar. We chatted for a bit, her friends liked me, she liked me, I got her number, and made out with her for a little bit after walking her to her car to drive her friend home. She couldn't invite me over last night because she claimed she was tired, isn't "like those younger girls who just hook up", and has some reservations about being older than me (she's 43).

She did, however, text back and forth with me until about 5AM, sending a couple pics - including her topless. But we ended up going to sleep, and I'm texting her now and she invited me out with her and her friends tonight.

HOWEVER...there is some backstory here, so I wanted to ask some of you more experienced guys whether this is worth my time.

She's 43, never married, no kids. She moved to DE 7 years ago for a man, but they didn't work out, and in the last 2 years she moved back to live with her parents. She has a poor view of men; she told me a story about a guy I know personally who kept asking her out and when she finally agreed he voiced concerns about whether "she still had eggs" because he's the same age as me - which turned her off to him immediately. She also seems to talk herself out of things; wondering why I'd be interested in an older woman, why I don't have a girlfriend despite being attractive, and the fact that in her invite she assumed I wouldn't want to hang out with them because they're "so much older", etc.

She's got a friend who likes younger guys who she seems to think is more attractive than her (I wouldn't know, I haven't met her) so I think it's in her head that I'd probably logically want the "bigger, better deal" in her friend.

There seem to be a lot of different ways this could go, but despite all the things she SAYS, the things she DOES have so far included making out with me and sending nudes...so I'm wondering if I should go out to this.

I have a couple other girls I'm seeing who were ALL not available last night, and ALL seem to be available tonight. Which is why I'm weighing out my options since I'm being pulled in so many different directions.

What do you guys think about all this?

Same Shyt different day, IMO you gotta be honest with yourself, If you're just trying to slay why jump through all these hoops for a chick you met at the bar? Sometimes you gotta play the game I get it but either the other chicks in your roster aren't that hot or you may be hard up for something new. Cause a 43 year old you meet at a bar sending you nudes at 5am, shouldn't be this deep of thought for you. Invite her over to get dug out and if she doesn't want that oh well, I've learned it's best to be honest it's all about tact

Will you lose a lot of women this way? sure but anyone taking women from bars/club still seriosuly in 2024 action speak louder than words in this situation

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Same Shyt different day, IMO you gotta be honest with yourself, If you're just trying to slay why jump through all these hoops for a chick you met at the bar? Sometimes you gotta play the game I get it but either the other chicks in your roster aren't that hot or you may be hard up for something new. Cause a 43 year old you meet at a bar sending you nudes at 5am, shouldn't be this deep of thought for you. Invite her over to get dug out and if she doesn't want that oh well, I've learned it's best to be honest it's all about tact

Will you lose a lot of women this way? sure but anyone taking women from bars/club still seriosuly in 2024 action speak louder than words in this situation

Agreed...just doesnt seem to be worth the effort being made for what OP got in return.

 

[Solomon]

Agreed...just doesnt seem to be worth the effort being made for what OP got in return.

Yup I've done this a few times with chicks I met at bars/club or even online dating, you hear all the b.s. sob stories, all the trauma dumping, you take them on a date just to end up walking home with blue balls never to see them again. I find at 40 it's best to be honest with your intentions yes you will lose out a lot but man it makes dating a lot easier

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yup I've done this a few times with chicks I met at bars/club or even online dating, you hear all the b.s. sob stories, all the trauma dumping, you take them on a date just to end up walking home with blue balls never to see them again. I find at 40 it's best to be honest with your intentions yes you will lose out a lot but man it makes dating a lot easier

Essentially if you understand and are comfortable with your value, you set your expectations for things and if they choose to meet them then that's cool and if not then you simply find another woman who will.

OP seems like he doesn't believe in the value proposition he offers so he needs to do extra to try and make something happen instead of setting his terms and letting them choose whether or not to engage.

Nothing wrong with this per se OP, and it worked, but just a way to improve in the future. Perhaps not having your own place and being self conscious about that might play a role in this?

 

[Clockwerk50]

Alright so...

2-weeks old girl is content with planning when she will come next since I can't go to her because I'm watching the cat.

Sunday girl I might see today, and if not I can see her whenever during the week.

Month-old girl said she would be free yesterday but didn't answer when it came time, so I went and hung out with the older woman.

We were at the bar for a long time, all the way until closing, with her friends from the night before plus the hot older friend that likes younger guys. Ended up inviting my woman over afterwards, we made out, f***ed, and she gave me a BJ before she left around 3 AM. Texted her goodnight and hoped she got home safe, and that was it.

This is why it’s so hard to give dating advice when the goal is simply to get laid. Unless you describe every single nuance—body language, topics discussed, or the text messages—it’s difficult to determine whether the woman has a high level of interest in sleeping with you. We’re basically playing a game of broken telephone, from the source, to the recipient, and then to us.

The best advice has been to ask them out, escalate things at full throttle, and if the person fails to get laid, we can determine where they went wrong. If you took people's advice here, you wouldn’t have known that the 43-year-old was DTF.

I guess what you asked was how to incorporate her in your roster, and the right answer was that since she was the wild card, you had to discuss plans with the 1st seed, 2nd seed, etc. Just thinking out loud.

Anyways, good stuff and I am glad everything worked out. When’s the wedding? J/k lol.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Men who are interested in older women are interested in them solely for sex in the short term.

Many men interested in older women for sex are thirsty men lacking options.

You are not a thirsty man and you have options.



You have options and are getting sex regularly. You don't need a girlfriend and having one girlfriend is not a priority for you.

Looks, money, status, and personality are important in retaining a woman and having an exclusive, committed girlfriend is more of a retention play. You are strong on looks and personality. Money and status is where you weaker. You have a lower paying job and lower net worth, causing you to live with your parents. Living with your parents at your current age is a negative to your status.

You have been living a version of the article below for many years.

Getting Laid While Unemployed And Living In Your Dad’s Basement

Getting laid with multiple women on a regular basis while living with your parents is an achievement.

OP is not confident in what he brings to the table. If he was, he would not be jumping thru hoops for a, in her own words, "soft and out of shape" 43 year old.

He would let her know how things were going to be if she wanted something to happen and then he would have let her decide to fvck him or not fvck him and she could have met him at his place or not without him going out again with her.

OP instead did what a man who thinks he doesn't offer much does to try and convince a woman to fvck him.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Bro you strike me as a sex addict trying to fill a void. Why do you care so much about whether you fvck a 43 year old?

 

[BPH]

It looks like this is Notch #95 and that's good for your notch count.

You were able to get pussie without much effort from this older woman. Only 2 nights of socializing resulted you getting pussie. That's good.

96 actually. 95 is Sunday girl which was back in August, so it's been about 4 months since I've had someone new.

This is why it’s so hard to give dating advice when the goal is simply to get laid. Unless you describe every single nuance—body language, topics discussed, or the text messages—it’s difficult to determine whether the woman has a high level of interest in sleeping with you. We’re basically playing a game of broken telephone, from the source, to the recipient, and then to us.

The best advice has been to ask them out, escalate things at full throttle, and if the person fails to get laid, we can determine where they went wrong. If you took people's advice here, you wouldn’t have known that the 43-year-old was DTF.

I guess what you asked was how to incorporate her in your roster, and the right answer was that since she was the wild card, you had to discuss plans with the 1st seed, 2nd seed, etc. Just thinking out loud.

Anyways, good stuff and I am glad everything worked out. When’s the wedding? J/k lol.

Not necessarily asking how to add her to the roster, just whether the things I described were actual roadblocks or just like an anti-sl*t defense. I haven't dealt with many older women, and I believe this is the oldest woman/largest age gap I've slept with so I wanted to get the opinions of people who might have spent more time around them.

Like I said, I could be the reason she dips her toes, or she could keep the walls up - looks like it was the former.

OP is not confident in what he brings to the table. If he was, he would not be jumping thru hoops for a, in her own words, "soft and out of shape" 43 year old.

He would let her know how things were going to be if she wanted something to happen and then he would have let her decide to fvck him or not fvck him and she could have met him at his place or not without him going out again with her.

OP instead did what a man who thinks he doesn't offer much does to try and convince a woman to fvck him.

Uhh, no. This post is not me asking how to convince a woman to f*** me because I think I "don't offer much". My track record should be very evident that that is not the case. I do believe my living with my parents is a shortcoming, but not nearly to the level that some members of this forum believe it to be - it's not so much a dealbreaker as it is an added speedbump when it comes to logistics...that's it.

This post is me asking how to deal with older women insofar as whether her objections toward men, given her recent bad experiences, should be a reason not to see her. I do not have much experience with older women.

I didn't think I needed to do "extra" to "win her over". Unless by "win her over" you mean "go out a second time with her". If I'd have nexted every girl I didn't bag night one I'd have been with much fewer.

Same Shyt different day, IMO you gotta be honest with yourself, If you're just trying to slay why jump through all these hoops for a chick you met at the bar? Sometimes you gotta play the game I get it but either the other chicks in your roster aren't that hot or you may be hard up for something new. Cause a 43 year old you meet at a bar sending you nudes at 5am, shouldn't be this deep of thought for you. Invite her over to get dug out and if she doesn't want that oh well, I've learned it's best to be honest it's all about tact

Will you lose a lot of women this way? sure but anyone taking women from bars/club still seriosuly in 2024 action speak louder than words in this situation

Yeah, I hadn't had a new girl since August so it was nice to have a new experience. The girls in my roster are hot, but I like variety.

Like I said above, I think nexting a girl just because you didn't pull a same-day-lay is a bit excessive. Especially if this girl's stories of her exes were true, I wouldn't expect her to jump my bones after meeting me an hour prior.

Bro you strike me as a sex addict trying to fill a void. Why do you care so much about whether you fvck a 43 year old?

I don't know why this post devolved into a psychoanalysis of why I'd bother sleeping with an older woman if I have younger ones I'm seeing...hot is hot - if you drop Salma Hayek or Carmen Electra in front of me do you think I'd give a f*** that they're older?

Hell no. She was hot and happened to be older. It's not like I'm fishing for cougars. I made this post asking whether to take her objections seriously because she's an older woman with more life experience to shape her identity.

On a psychological level, I may be running up the score to make up for being a late bloomer in high school. But probably not, I just enjoy women; my first "best friend" in Kindergarten was a girl, I wrote a love letter to a crush as early as first grade, and I just like women - multiple women.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Enjoy her while she lasts OP, you'll get sick of having to babysit her emotions. She's of an age and age difference where she's can't accept her role as a straight Cougar and wants the feels/emotional bonding to go with the tingles. Make sure you've got advil, she's going to give you a headache before you end up giving her the boot.

A cougar who wants to **** a cub doesn't ask "why are you single?. She's on the fence and as you say, built like Humpty-Dumpty only instead she's top heavy. She's going to crash lol.

This conflict is prob why she's had bad experiences lately, she's expecting guys 10 years younger with options to want to be her BF. Have fun with that, sweetheart.

 

[The Duke]

Geezus....it's just pu$$y. Don't make it harder than it is. I can't even read all this crap.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

96 actually. 95 is Sunday girl which was back in August, so it's been about 4 months since I've had someone new.



Not necessarily asking how to add her to the roster, just whether the things I described were actual roadblocks or just like an anti-sl*t defense. I haven't dealt with many older women, and I believe this is the oldest woman/largest age gap I've slept with so I wanted to get the opinions of people who might have spent more time around them.

Like I said, I could be the reason she dips her toes, or she could keep the walls up - looks like it was the former.



Uhh, no. This post is not me asking how to convince a woman to f*** me because I think I "don't offer much". My track record should be very evident that that is not the case. I do believe my living with my parents is a shortcoming, but not nearly to the level that some members of this forum believe it to be - it's not so much a dealbreaker as it is an added speedbump when it comes to logistics...that's it.

This post is me asking how to deal with older women insofar as whether her objections toward men, given her recent bad experiences, should be a reason not to see her. I do not have much experience with older women.

I didn't think I needed to do "extra" to "win her over". Unless by "win her over" you mean "go out a second time with her". If I'd have nexted every girl I didn't bag night one I'd have been with much fewer.



Yeah, I hadn't had a new girl since August so it was nice to have a new experience. The girls in my roster are hot, but I like variety.

Like I said above, I think nexting a girl just because you didn't pull a same-day-lay is a bit excessive. Especially if this girl's stories of her exes were true, I wouldn't expect her to jump my bones after meeting me an hour prior.



I don't know why this post devolved into a psychoanalysis of why I'd bother sleeping with an older woman if I have younger ones I'm seeing...hot is hot - if you drop Salma Hayek or Carmen Electra in front of me do you think I'd give a f*** that they're older?

Hell no. She was hot and happened to be older. It's not like I'm fishing for cougars. I made this post asking whether to take her objections seriously because she's an older woman with more life experience to shape her identity.

On a psychological level, I may be running up the score to make up for being a late bloomer in high school. But probably not, I just enjoy women; my first "best friend" in Kindergarten was a girl, I wrote a love letter to a crush as early as first grade, and I just like women - multiple women.

Clearly not since she obviously considered you higher in SMV than she was based on how she kept trying to qualify herself to you.

She wasn't "The catch" in this situation, you were. She believed it, you didn't.

If you did, you wouldn't have felt the need to meet up with her again and would have felt comfortable knowing that she would want to see you and would do what you expected her to. You held all the cards in this situation, not her.

Essentially you should have been the one controlling what happened but instead you allowed her to and just went along with it.

That's fine and you got what you wanted but my point is still valid.

A man who knows where he stands in the market does not jump thru hoops for a 43 year old. They just don't. She jumps thru hoops for you. Basically you overpaid for what you got.

 

[BPH]

Enjoy her while she lasts OP, you'll get sick of having to babysit her emotions. She's of an age and age difference where she's can't accept her role as a straight Cougar and wants the feels/emotional bonding to go with the tingles. Make sure you've got advil, she's going to give you a headache before you end up giving her the boot.

A cougar who wants to **** a cub doesn't ask "why are you single?. She's on the fence and as you say, built like Humpty-Dumpty only instead she's top heavy. She's going to crash lol.

This conflict is prob why she's had bad experiences lately, she's expecting guys 10 years younger with options to want to be her BF. Have fun with that, sweetheart.

I don't think it'll be an issue. She's not blowing up my phone or asking when I'm taking her on a real date or anything.

Her personal conflicts aren't my problem - I'm not here to "fix her" and I don't think she's expecting me to either.

Geezus....it's just pu$$y. Don't make it harder than it is. I can't even read all this crap.

I agree. This reminds me of the one I made about the girl last month where it became an overanalysis of my living situation.

Clearly not since she obviously considered you higher in SMV than she was based on how she kept trying to qualify herself to you.

She wasn't "The catch" in this situation, you were. She believed it, you didn't.

If you did, you wouldn't have felt the need to meet up with her again and would have felt comfortable knowing that she would want to see you and would do what you expected her to. You held all the cards in this situation, not her.

Essentially you should have been the one controlling what happened but instead you allowed her to and just went along with it.

That's fine and you got what you wanted but my point is still valid.

A man who knows where he stands in the market does not jump thru hoops for a 43 year old. They just don't. She jumps thru hoops for you. Basically you overpaid for what you got.

I really don't understand what part of this sounds like I'm jumping through hoops or don't see myself as the catch in this.

I followed up on a good night 1 with a better night 2 and closed her at my place.

I didn't take her on a date. I didn't have to "convince her" to sleep with me. And I didn't have to spend money on her.

She didn't want to sleep with a guy she'd only known for an hour, while mostly sober, in front of her friends - that's not an unusual thing, especially from an older woman who, as I listed, had a lot of bad experiences with men recently.

It'd be like calling somebody a bad salesman because they didn't close every client on 1 call - I'm in control of me, not her.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Geezus....it's just pu$$y. Don't make it harder than it is. I can't even read all this crap.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I didn't take her on a date. I didn't have to "convince her" to sleep with me. And I didn't have to spend money on her.

She didn't want to sleep with a guy she'd only known for an hour, while mostly sober, in front of her friends - that's not an unusual thing, especially from an older woman who, as I listed, had a lot of bad experiences with men recently.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

She didn't want to sleep with a guy she'd only known for an hour, while mostly sober, in front of her friends - that's not an unusual thing, especially from an older woman who, as I listed, had a lot of bad experiences with men recently.

 

[SW15]

96 actually. 95 is Sunday girl which was back in August, so it's been about 4 months since I've had someone new.

Very good. 96 is a great lifetime notch count. Since you are only 30 and have a 96 notch count, you are likely to be a 100+ notch count guy at some point. You are unlikely to have notches 97-99 be your last notches in life and get into a faithful, monogamous relationship that lasts decades, if not a lifetime.

I do believe my living with my parents is a shortcoming, but not nearly to the level that some members of this forum believe it to be - it's not so much a dealbreaker as it is an added speedbump when it comes to logistics...that's it.

Back in 2011, Roosh wrote an article I've posted many times about being in his early 30s, living in his dad's basement in between international travels, and getting laid regularly. You've adapted that model to your own life. It is a logistical speed bump for you. For a lot of men, it would decrease their sexual frequency by a lot. Many men get their own apartments/get an apartment with a roommate so that they can position themselves to get more sex.

This post is me asking how to deal with older women insofar as whether her objections toward men, given her recent bad experiences, should be a reason not to see her. I do not have much experience with older women.

I didn't think I needed to do "extra" to "win her over". Unless by "win her over" you mean "go out a second time with her". If I'd have nexted every girl I didn't bag night one I'd have been with much fewer.

I don't know why this post devolved into a psychoanalysis of why I'd bother sleeping with an older woman if I have younger ones I'm seeing...hot is hot - if you drop Salma Hayek or Carmen Electra in front of me do you think I'd give a f*** that they're older?

She was hot and happened to be older. It's not like I'm fishing for cougars. I made this post asking whether to take her objections seriously because she's an older woman with more life experience to shape her identity.

she obviously considered you higher in SMV than she was based on how she kept trying to qualify herself to you.

She wasn't "The catch" in this situation, you were. She believed it, you didn't.

If you did, you wouldn't have felt the need to meet up with her again and would have felt comfortable knowing that she would want to see you and would do what you expected her to. You held all the cards in this situation, not her.

Essentially you should have been the one controlling what happened but instead you allowed her to and just went along with it.

That's fine and you got what you wanted but my point is still valid.

A man who knows where he stands in the market does not jump thru hoops for a 43 year old. They just don't. She jumps thru hoops for you. Basically you overpaid for what you got.

He got pussie from her and that's good for him. He wanted to get pussie on a weekend when his parents weren't home. If it was an overpay for pussie, it was a rather mild overpay for pussie. He didn't go out on a formal date with her. He had to spend an extra evening with her but didn't have to commit to anything to get that pussie.

I wouldn't recommend that a 30 year old male with an above average physique has sex with 43 year old women regularly. I said earlier in the thread that he needed to focus on the women in his rotation nearer to his own age. Sex with a 43 year old seems ok for a "hit it and quit it" short term sex situation. She's a 43 year old who lives with her parents too. She has her own issues.

@BPH rarely goes more than 2-3 weeks without getting some sort of pussie. In the longer run, he will be having sex with women near his own age.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Very good. 96 is a great lifetime notch count. Since you are only 30 and have a 96 notch count, you are likely to be a 100+ notch count at some point. You are unlikely to have notches 97-99 be your last notches in life and get into a faithful, monogamous relationship that last decades, if not a lifetime.



Back in 2011, Roosh wrote an article I've posted many times about being in his early 30s, living in his dad's basement in between international travels, and getting laid regularly. You've adapted that model to your own life. It is a logistical speedbump for you. For a lot of men, it would decrease their sexual frequency by a lot. Many men get their own apartments/get an apartment with a roommate so that they can position themselves to get more sex.





He got pussie from her and that's good for him. He wanted to get pussie on a weekend when his parents weren't home. If it was an overpay for pussie, it was a rather mild overpay for pussie. He didn't go out on a formal date with her. He had to spend an extra evening with her but didn't have to commit to anything to get that pussie.

I wouldn't recommend that a 30 year old male with an above average physique has sex with 43 year old women regularly. I said earlier in the thread that he needed to focus on the women in his rotation nearer to his own age. Sex with a 43 year old seems ok for a "hit it and quit it" short term sex situation. She's a 43 year old who lives with her parents too. She has her own issues.

@BPH rarely goes more than 2-3 weeks without getting some sort of pussie. In the longer run, he will be having sex with women near his own age.

Are you an AI?

Literally this sounds like you your asked ChatGPT for advice.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I don't know why this post devolved into a psychoanalysis of why I'd bother sleeping with an older woman if I have younger ones I'm seeing...hot is hot - if you drop Salma Hayek or Carmen Electra in front of me do you think I'd give a f*** that they're older?

Hell no. She was hot and happened to be older. It's not like I'm fishing for cougars. I made this post asking whether to take her objections seriously because she's an older woman with more life experience to shape her identity.

On a psychological level, I may be running up the score to make up for being a late bloomer in high school. But probably not, I just enjoy women; my first "best friend" in Kindergarten was a girl, I wrote a love letter to a crush as early as first grade, and I just like women - multiple women.

I mean i'm guilty about overanalyzing women too but generally it's about mentally ill college-aged women with nice bodies. I just don't think a 43 year old woman is worth wasting a single brain cell on - if you have other options why even consider her? I promise there's no novelty here, she may be "hot" but just think about all the dvck she's had in that old beaten up cooch. Yuck.

It may just be an ego thing - I get that because I like fvcking foreign woman or black woman or "alt" woman for the same reason, knowing I can be desirable to various different types women is more exciting than the novelty itself.