Online dating has never been worse

[DreamAgain]

Flaking, girls looking much different than their pictures, randomly ghosting after conversations seemingly going well, boring personalities, I can go on and on.

There is nothing that can supplant in person chemistry, reading body language, subtle facial cues, versus texting on a 6 inch screen.

Communication is mostly nonverbal anyway, this is proven, so the chances are while you are swiping away, some guy in person is actually eliciting a far superior emotional response with your "e-girl" in person.

I have recently had some promising leads on insta and hinge fall through the wayside for no reason really, got a dog ate my homework type excuse for flaking on an already agreed to meetup. So I'm not speaking from my high horse, I'm experiencing the downsides of OLD, whereas in person I can get much better, hotter, younger prospects. @Bingo-Player I believe opened my eyes to this phenomenon here, not that this is breaking news, but in a completely technologically dominated world, it seems in person interactions are making a comeback.

 

[CornbreadFed]

What age range are you going for?

 

[DreamAgain]

What age range are you going for?

Anything below 30s, im not actually 34 like it says on here, I'm 31.

One could say I'm just shooting above my SMV, which I would agree with I guess.

But somehow I'm shooting above my SMV with IRL interactions, it's odd.

 

[Doctor Doom]

OLD should be treated as nothing more than a mobile game. Swipe and keep it moving. If the game gets boring just uninstall.

Problem is, men are taking it serious.

 

[SW15]

OLD should be treated as nothing more than a mobile game. Swipe and keep it moving. If the game gets boring just uninstall.

Problem is, men are taking it serious.

When men take swipe apps and social media DMs seriously and it is their primary method of meeting women, bad things tend to happen. They tend to get overinvested in those interactions and it doesn't lead to meaningful outcomes.

 

[DreamAgain]

It can hurt your ego if you let it for sure.

The random ghosting mid conversation I don't really care about.

When we agree to meet, communicate or a while, exchange numbers, plan the time and place, and then the day of, get a message that she doesn't want to (of course packaged into some rather poor excuse), that I will admit gets me more riled up than it should.

 

[Gamisch]

When men take swipe apps and social media DMs seriously and it is their primary method of meeting women, bad things tend to happen. They tend to get overinvested in those interactions and it doesn't lead to meaningful outcomes.

What other ways to meet women does the eager man have?

You go to work, come back, hit the gym ,prep some shyte for the next day and that's it. Your "friends" all have their own secret agenda, and soon as they'll get a piece of punani they will be out of sight.

You do everything online. So logically you try to date online. And finally, you still "chase the dragon" from the first days of OLD when you actually could get matches..

 

[SW15]

What other ways to meet women does the eager man have?

There are 3 broad categories, which can be broken down further. I'm not going to break them down further in this post. Throughout this forum, they have been broken down.

1. Approaching strangers in non-bar venues
2. Approaching strangers in bars/nightlife venues
3. Meeting people through existing friends/acquaintances

 

[Gamisch]

Flaking, girls looking much different than their pictures, randomly ghosting after conversations seemingly going well, boring personalities, I can go on and on.

There is nothing that can supplant in person chemistry, reading body language, subtle facial cues, versus texting on a 6 inch screen.

Communication is mostly nonverbal anyway, this is proven, so the chances are while you are swiping away, some guy in person is actually eliciting a far superior emotional response with your "e-girl" in person.

I have recently had some promising leads on insta and hinge fall through the wayside for no reason really, got a dog ate my homework type excuse for flaking on an already agreed to meetup. So I'm not speaking from my high horse, I'm experiencing the downsides of OLD, whereas in person I can get much better, hotter, younger prospects. @Bingo-Player I believe opened my eyes to this phenomenon here, not that this is breaking news, but in a completely technologically dominated world, it seems in person interactions are making a comeback.

OLD is like the fifa game; despite being low quality is the only game out there. And thus they have plenty of volume to dgaf about you and me when we either refuse to pay or leave.

Individually EVERY man is struggling. Yes, even so-called ballers. Nobody gets what he wants. Young dudes ( up till your age ) settle for cougars because they have no other options. Personally OLD is something my system tries to forget ,but mostly it comes down to : open the app, get some likes, and after a few weeks it CRICKETS. Nada. Then after one month of nada you take the L ,delete the app and try again after a few months. Even paying won't solve this. But if they can hustle ten bucks out of a billion men...even once.

It's time there will be laws implemented which force the apps to show how the algorithm works and when and why a person gets shadow banned.

 

[Isildur1]

I gave up online dating for daygame 6 years ago best decision I ever made

 

[Gamisch]

There are 3 broad categories, which can be broken down further. I'm not going to break them down further in this post. Throughout this forum, they have been broken down.

1. Approaching strangers in non-bar venues
2. Approaching strangers in bars/nightlife venues
3. Meeting people through existing friends/acquaintances

Indeed.

1. Is an absolute no go for most men. As I described: unless you master the art of "stealth approach " it simply won't happen.

2. Best option imo

3. Gotta be blessed with such a solid circle of people. Also more exception than rule tbh.

 

[SW15]

1. Approaching strangers in non-bar venues

1. Is an absolute no go for most men. As I described: unless you master the art of "stealth approach " it simply won't happen.

Most men aren't approaching unknown women in the real world in non-bar venues.

The man in real life that I know with the highest notch count didn't do non-bar approaches at all. He was mostly a bar approacher who dabbled into dating websites/apps before becoming a married beta husband.

Most men don't have a day-to-day routine that's well suited for non-bar approaching either.

Non-bar approaching is also difficult for many reasons.

Men are more likely to approach stranger women in non-bar venues at an organized event or an activity/hobby group. We have had threads on here that a lot of activity/hobby groups are not conducive to approaching for a variety of reasons and some are sausagefests.

The typical beta male is dealing with some combination of the following issues with non-bar approaching.

1. He doesn't how to non-bar approach. Knowledge helps here. There are books, YouTube videos, bootcamps, etc.
2. He doesn't have the courage or the motivation to non-bar approach. He has to find a way to reduce approach anxiety and/or increase motivation to approach. Not watching porn/not masturbating helps a lot with this. The typical beta male today watches online porn and masturbates.
3. He has a bad day-to-day routine for meeting women. He needs to change his day-to-day activities. He might also need to find a hobby that isn't a sausagefest.

2. Approaching strangers in bars/nightlife venues

2. Best option imo

Nightlife venues are a common way that people meet. Prior to online dating websites getting de-stigmatized in the mid-2000s (which evolved into dating apps on smartphones in the 2010s), it was the main way people without social circles met.

There are plenty of stories of people from the 1970s-2000s meeting in bars/nightlife venues.

One of the best things about nightlife venues/bars is that the female audience there is more likely to be unattached and looking for new penis as compared to any other non-bar venue. A more targeted audience is good.

Mostly everyone (male or female) who finds themselves single and looking at some point in life will end up in a bar/nightlife venue.

There are downsides in approaching in bars/nightlife venues that are well detailed on this forum and elsewhere.

It's a great option for getting same night sex. It happens in real time faster than tech-based methods. It's possible to get laid from first dates arranged from tech methods but there's more lag time with that.

3. Meeting people through existing friends/acquaintances

3. Gotta be blessed with such a solid circle of people. Also more exception than rule tbh.

There's existing social science research that shows this method has been in decline since the 1980s-1990s. It's the best method out there for sustainable relationships. It's very difficult to create that initial social sphere that leads to the meaningful interactions.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Anything below 30s, im not actually 34 like it says on here, I'm 31.

One could say I'm just shooting above my SMV, which I would agree with I guess.

But somehow I'm shooting above my SMV with IRL interactions, it's odd.

These girls are probably not swiping right on you or have you filtered out by age/location/etc. The app gives them the ability to be picky while IRL it’s not as possible.

 

[GoodMan32]

Agreed, online dating is at its worst right now.

Incidentally, I found out about a live speed-dating event in my neighborhood today. I am attending. I anticipate it will be better than a swipe app (the in-person aspect alone will give me a major edge I wouldn't have on an app)

 

[Gamisch]

These girls are probably not swiping right on you or have you filtered out by age/location/etc. The app gives them the ability to be picky while IRL it’s not as possible.

I'd even say that currently a 30-ish year old man who is NOT within or close to the top 5% HAS to be aim for women older than him. Top 5 /10/15 might mean you have great financial resources. This way he can at very least select the better looking older women instead 9f wasting his time om flaky women.

Unfortunately most men around this age will start to think about children and pedestalize women even more than when they were 20, even with a few bad LTRs in their backpack already.

Your best bet to sleep with women around 22-28 is when you are that age OR follow the monetization route where you simply pay for play ( the latter is the easiest) .After 30...you are a target to women 35/50. Yup. That's right. The current crop of 30 y.o males is targeted by women who are 45+ because "they (individually) still got it", and a much younger man will be living prove of this. Whereas men aim at age difference due to attractiveness shelf of women, imo women more so do this because it's mental stimulus.

On the other hand, man 35 + are the actual scapegoats of today's dating landscape. Least wanted. Not by 20 /30 y.o women but also not by 30 /50 y.o women.

 

[GoodMan32]

I'd even say that currently a 30-ish year old man who is NOT within or close to the top 5% HAS to be aim for women older than him. Top 5 /10/15 might mean you have great financial resources. This way he can at very least select the better looking older women instead 9f wasting his time om flaky women.

Unfortunately most men around this age will start to think about children and pedestalize women even more than when they were 20, even with a few bad LTRs in their backpack already.

Your best bet to sleep with women around 22-28 is when you are that age OR follow the monetization route where you simply pay for play ( the latter is the easiest) .After 30...you are a target to women 35/50. Yup. That's right. The current crop of 30 y.o males is targeted by women who are 45+ because "they (individually) still got it", and a much younger man will be living prove of this. Whereas men aim at age difference due to attractiveness shelf of women, imo women more so do this because it's mental stimulus.

On the other hand, man 35 + are the actual scapegoats of today's dating landscape. Least wanted. Not by 20 /30 y.o women but also not by 30 /50 y.o women.

As a 33 year old who prefers 45+, hearing you say 30-ish men are desired by 45+ broads sounds like music to my ears.

 

[Gamisch]

As a 33 year old who prefers 45+, hearing you say 30-ish men are desired by 45+ broads sounds like music to my ears.

Be smart ,play your cards right, and you will be shooting fish in a barrel.

One more piece of advice ; still gotta make them FEEL like you can get a 20 y.o hb8,5 at the snap of your fingers. The 30 y.o overweight slob = very early retirement from the game. Gotta be a 6,5 at least to pull (hot) older women.

So the self improvement game doesn't stop or slow down at all..

 

[GoodMan32]

Be smart ,play your cards right, and you will be shooting fish in a barrel.

One more piece of advice ; still gotta make them FEEL like you can get a 20 y.o hb8,5 at the snap of your fingers. The 30 y.o overweight slob = very early retirement from the game. Gotta be a 6,5 at least to pull (hot) older women.

So the self improvement game doesn't stop or slow down at all..

I've been rated a 7 by an AI looks rater, a 9 by a broad on a human 1-10 rater, and an 8.5 by an ex.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I find it helpful to get them to follow you on IG instead, it basically creates a passive funnel of women that are much easier and more accessible. I know some of you hate IG, and trust me no one hates social media more than I do....but it works.

 

[SW15]

I find it helpful to get them to follow you on IG instead, it basically creates a passive funnel of women that are much easier and more accessible. I know some of you hate IG, and trust me no one hates social media more than I do....but it works.

If they follow you on IG, that's useful.

Following random hot women on IG is usually a waste.