Plinco's observations and thoughts

[Plinco]

Going for a gestalt understanding with my experiences, observations, and thoughts from all sources. Feel free to critique

 

[Plinco]

Two big problems with all of this so-called theory that's out there regarding dating and relationships:

Some form of psychological determinism

Advocating a mind/body dichotomy. The looks vs game vs status etc. is a variation of that dichotomy. It's a nonsense debate because there's no separation between mind and body.

 

[Plinco]

Being rational is the key to making people feel positive around you.


You see these simps, and ask why do they exist?

• The welfare state (because it replaces the men as resources).
• Technology that also competes with men. Men used to do all the heavy lifting.
• Birth control lowers the risk of consequences of promiscuity
• Pick up culture focuses on status and authority which works on the animal aspects; this turns people into glorified animals.
  
  • Girls must want to have sex with a man, otherwise it is emotionally taxing on them.

This all means that men have the burden of competition instead of women. Force distorts relationships (anti-consciousness) hinders the ability to act morally. Women get preferable treatment in the workforce. Denmark and New Zealand studies where women are a net draw on the system. Less competent management due to the number of women that the bar was lowered for.

How to solve the problem?

• Women are turned off by anxiety in men.
• Don’t be submissive. Girls are turned on by non-submission, wants a provider that is submissive.
• If a girl is trying to control you, she does not respect you; she might be also insecure.
• Grow some muscle and testosterone
• Have standards
• Sex comes easier when you are happy.

Other thoughts:

• Believing in an outside authority lowers your anxiety, but it divorces you from your own self-interest and turns you into a proverbial sheep.
• Sometimes women (and some men) throw around the word “creep” as a means to distance (punish) what they don’t like, usually men’s sexuality. A real creep, should be defined as sneaky and weak.
• Expressing oneself as a weak and arrogant man (unearned confidence) is a way to gaslight women, in a sense.
• Women are keen to relationships and relatability. Women don’t make logical judgments but ration an emotional summary judgment.
• People project their personal values when giving advice
• Respect=sex
• Women either respect how you act, look, or what you have.
• Woman hate a man who acts like he deserves respect when that woman does not respect what he has nor how he looks.
• Sex is all about validation and respect. When a man is desperate for a woman, he is really desperate for respect.
• If he masturbates thinking about other women, he has nothing to say about other’s promiscuity.

 

[Plinco]

You are rational because you have to be. It is a matter of survival. Defaulting from rationality is defaulting from survival.

Psychological determinism is wrong because there’s no separation between mind and body.

Masculinity and femininity are not opposites

 

[parabellum]

You have a lot of good points. In the light of brevity, I will make a comment on one: you say weak and arrogant man. But then let me flip it, shouldn’t a man always strive to be a self-assured, critical thinker? Don’t you paradoxically become a sheep when you’re just following anyone else lead?

in trying to be reasonable, you probably can go back and forth the two states while you develop the self-assurance, but until when?

not necessarily looking for a deterministic answer, just making a comment

 

[Plinco]

You have a lot of good points. In the light of brevity, I will make a comment on one: you say weak and arrogant man. But then let me flip it, shouldn’t a man always strive to be a self-assured, critical thinker? Don’t you paradoxically become a sheep when you’re just following anyone else lead?

in trying to be reasonable, you probably can go back and forth the two states while you develop the self-assurance, but until when?

not necessarily looking for a deterministic answer, just making a comment

The key difference between confidence and arrogance is whether or not one has an honest relationship with reality.

 

[Plinco]

According to Athol Kay

Selected sections from his book, "The Married Man Sex Life Primer"

When it comes to sexual desire however, most people are not fully aware of what exactly is motivating them, so a rationalization for their sexual behavior can take place without the person being even aware that they are rationalizing; they can even be fooled themselves. This sexual mental sleigh-of-hand is called The Rationalization Hamster. More fully it is called The Female Rationalization Hamster because female sexuality can have great swings in her sexual interest during her menstrual cycle, so women tend to require greater use of rationalizing sexual behavior (or lack thereof) than men do.


Dopamine – This creates the “in love” feelings of excitement and the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder-like mental obsession on the person of desire. This is the thing that makes you crazy about the other person and makes you wonder why they aren’t calling you. As an important aside SSRI anti-depressants can interfere with dopamine and have the very well known side effect of blunting sexual desire. Per Dr. Fisher they can also diminish the ability to experience romantic interest as well. This is the opposite of boredom


Oxytocin / Vasopressin – these are the pair bonding hormones; oxytocin more for women and vasopressin more for men. These hormones create that warm companionate love. It’s cuddly and caring. These are the same hormones that are released into the parents in a great torrent after the birth of their children.


Testosterone – this creates the general sex drive, and both men and women need testosterone to get horny.


But women have the entire ovulation process pretty well hidden and it’s purposely confusing to both her and her husband. Usually a woman doesn’t wake up in the morning thinking “Oh wow, I’m ovulating, I’m going to need the four inch heels and a Brazilian wax”, they just wake up and think “Ooooh I want to wear the red dress today. I feel great!” This is why women struggling to have a baby wander around taking their temperature half the month waiting for the sudden increase in body heat signalling it’s time to get some baby batter from her husband and get a bun in the oven. A woman’s moods and sexual interest can swing up and down because of her Body Agenda. Her body doesn’t want him to know when she is ovulating and could become pregnant. Plus the body also wants to confuse her a little as well; if the body can get her a little bit sloppy and silly, then she might slip up and get pregnant. This is why asking a woman what she wants is often frustrating for both of the couple as she may have no real idea what she wants either. Women can be confused by their own moods as much as the men in their lives are.


Because ovulation is concealed and somewhat random, it forces a male partner to hang around to ensure paternity. Her sexual interest might stop and start a little during her cycle and the male has to be constantly available to have sex. Any one sex act might be the one that gets her pregnant, so it creates the need for a primary partner to pay her attention and create a serious committed relationship. This is quite excellent for holding a regular male partner around to help raise children. The other reason ovulation is concealed is so she can cheat. There’s no possible way a male can watch his primary female partner 24/7. Everyone falls asleep or needs to use the bathroom eventually, so despite a very high level of attention a husband gives a wife, she will always have some wiggle room to disappear briefly for something quick and dirty. Because ovulation is concealed, there’s no sure way for the husband to know whether or not she was perfectly faithful even when he was watching her like a hawk. The evolutionary purpose of this cheating is that while her primary male partner may be a good provider and pleasant companion, another male could offer her significantly better genes to impregnate her with. It’s a try and have your cake and eat it too proposition. A woman may have sex with her partner thousands of times and with a lover maybe only a handful of times, but if any of that handful of times results in a pregnancy to the lover, it’s an extremely significant outcome. The link between ovulation and cheating is highly significant in that when she ovulates, a woman experiences a large spike in her sexual interest. Ovulation lasts only a few days, usually no more than two, but it is the highest point of sexual interest for a woman. Even quite low sex drive women can perk up and play for sexual attention during ovulation. It’s when a woman is most likely to cheat on a partner, she is most likely to orgasm and in plain simple terms when she likes sex the roughest.

 

[Plinco]

Sections from "Neo Tech Discovery: Psychous Pleasures" By Frank Wallace, pages 242 and 243

The human mind is neuter. Men and women have equal capacity for intellectual development, character development, integrity, self-esteem, physical fitness, psychuous pleasures, romantic love, long-range happiness, and prosperity. But physiological differences as well as psychological differences exist between men and women. Those differences must be recognized in order to function effectively - to function as a human male or a human female is intended to function. Those differences cannot be considered good or bad, better or worse, or by any other label. They are just differences by nature. But the differences are real and must be recognized and dealt with as objective reality.


EQUALITIES Potential for:


Intelligence Integrity


Character Objectivity


Personality Productivity


Health and fitness Psychuous sex


Coordination Romantic love




Pleasure Happiness


DIFFERENCES


Physical:


Size, shape, and development


Strength


Sex organs


Sexual readiness and orgasmic capacity


Hormonal differences:


Aggression levels


Secondary sex characteristics


Psychological differences:


Sexual psychology


Psychological needs and requirements resulting from physical differences


All differences reflect the nature of the female organism vs the male organism

 

[Plinco]

Part one: Demystifying emotions

Here are the basic categories of emotions and what they mean:

Grief = lost a value
Joy = gained a value

Desire = pursuing a perceived value. If the emotion is validated by reason, means that one should pursue a value. It also means a deficit.
Aversion = avoiding a perceived disvalue

Love = source of value and pleasure
Indifference = source of pain and disvalue

Hope = perceived possibility of success
Despair = perceived as no possibility of success

Anger = some outside force or person has taken a value away from me
Gratitude = someone has helped me

Fear = perceived threat, uncertainty that requires action.
Relief = perceived removal of threat

Frustration = Perceive self as ineffective
Confidence = perceive self as effective

Guilt = perceived misbehavior
Pride = perceived as behaved morally.


Emotions are a higher order version of the pain and pleasure principle. They are the first step of evaluation and indicate a relationship. They are a reaction to what you are convinced of being true (your convictions), are automatic and do not comprehend reality objectively. That’s why I used the word “perceived” in the above list.


Part two: Emotional vitality

Emotions of high vitality:

Joy
Love
Optimism/Hope
Pride
Confidence
Gratitude
Desire


This is where you are difficult to control, attractive to others, indicates effectiveness, strong frame (sense of reality/self), long term self-control, and is a result of rationality.

Emotions of low vitality:

Grief
Fear
Despair
Guilt
Frustration
Anger
Indifference


This is where you are easy to control, unattractive to others, indicates ineffectiveness, weak frame, long term lack of self-control, and is a result of lack of rationality.

*Notice that much of the origins of emotions are related to the effectiveness of your agency. Effective agency = attractive, ineffective agency = unattractive.

Part three: Rationality as a necessity to improve emotional vitality and emotional intelligence

Emotions are not the source of objective knowledge. Knowledge is contextual and only comes from reason. Emotions are automatic reactions to stimuli and are not structured to properly comprehend reality. That is why people do stupid things when they are emotional. It is also why we have a ‘no contact’ thread on this forum.

Ultimately there are two ways to gain emotional intelligence. Recognizing your own emotional states and what causes them, thereby uncovering your values. The other is to recognize patterns in communication (verbal and non-verbal) from other people. Emotional intelligence requires pattern recognition. However those who are emotionally ‘intelligent’ usually make the mistake of not validating these patterns using their rational faculty; unbeknownst to them, they often become whim worshipers and misinterpret reality through their reason evading, evaluative mental process.

Everyone, including women and children, want to be in a more rational state. Whim worshipers become unhappy in the long term because the mind suffers without rationality. This is where the problem of accountability comes into play. The principle of accountability is rationality; action demands knowledge and knowledge requires rationality. Moving into a more rational state is attractive and increases emotional vitality. Being irrational hinders all other virtues, including productiveness, justice, integrity, etc.

Rationality clarifies emotions and raises emotional vitality. Emotional manipulation is rooted in dishonesty. Effective emotional manipulation requires rationality in the manipulator, but it also destroys rationality in the manipulatee. A person who can manipulate someone’s emotions is attractive at first, but then becomes unattractive when the manipulated person discovers the dishonesty or moves into a less rational, disorderly state. Those who thrive from emotional manipulation hate rationality; Hatred of the rational comes from the desire for the unearned.

Part four: Clarity in thought increases emotional intensity

Emotion intensity is a matter of clarity. If a situation is clear, and clearly impacts you, you will feel a more intense emotional response. Mental clarity will help bring about stronger emotions. Alternatively, whim worshipers (guided by emotions) ironically do not have strong emotional responses. Strong emotional response combined with a strong emotional vitality increases the motivation for productivity.

Part five: Suppression versus repression

Suppression is the correct way to deal with emotions when you are required to be rational. First you recognize an emotion, accept it, then suppress it by refocusing on the rational aspects of the situation. In this way you are leading instead of being led.

Thinking about texting your recent ex? Remember:

Observe --→ Accept --→ Refocus

Something that should be added here is that there is a difference between suppression and repression. Emotional repression is evasion. You can retrieve repressed emotions by examining your personal history without evading.

Conclusion

The virtue of rationality and all other derivative virtues produce clarity in thought and therefore emotional health. Rationality is also required for emotional intelligence because effectiveness requires clarity. By improving the rational faculty you will become more attractive, help solve the political problems of today, and help improve the attractiveness of others by holding them accountable to reason.






References:


"What Emotions Are" by Harry Binswanger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b92mnH3n6Kw

“Emotions & Values 101” by Jean Moroney

https://www.thinkingdirections.com/

“Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior” by Dr. David R. Hawkins

https://www.amazon.com/Power-vs-Force-David-Hawkins-ebook/dp/B00EJBABS2

(chart attached from the first post in this thread)

“Book of Pook”

https://bookofpook.com/

As well as my personal insights and observations.



Happiness = Joy+Pride+Confidence+Love

Love is the reflection of a value, what makes one feel good.

Happiness is the opposite of suffering.

Suffering = Frustration + Despair

Despair is exacerbated by guilt.

States of vitality:


Suffering Serenity Contentment Ever greater joy


Shrinking life Expanding life

It takes a stimulus to be aware of an emotion

Expending time and energy while accomplishing nothing or little weakens the emotional capacity for work. Demoralization.

 

[Plinco]

From Ayn Rand
“An Answer to Readers (About a Woman President),”
The Objectivist, Dec. 1968

For a woman qua woman, the essence of femininity is hero-worship—the desire to look up to man. “To look up” does not mean dependence, obedience or anything implying inferiority. It means an intense kind of admiration; and admiration is an emotion that can be experienced only by a person of strong character and independent value-judgments. A “clinging vine” type of woman is not an admirer, but an exploiter of men. (This could be material or psychological) Hero-worship is a demanding virtue: a woman has to be worthy of it and of the hero she worships. Intellectually and morally, i.e., as a human being, she has to be his equal; then the object of her worship is specifically his masculinity, not any human virtue she might lack.

This does not mean that a feminine woman feels or projects hero-worship for any and every individual man; as human beings, many of them may, in fact, be her inferiors. Her worship is an abstract emotion for the metaphysical concept of masculinity as such—which she experiences fully and concretely only for the man she loves, but which colors her attitude toward all men. This does not mean that there is a romantic or sexual intention in her attitude toward all men; quite the contrary: the higher her view of masculinity, the more severely demanding her standards. It means that she never loses the awareness of her own sexual identity and theirs. It means that a properly feminine woman does not treat men as if she were their pal, sister, mother—or leader.

Love, friendship, respect, admiration are the emotional response of one man to the virtues of another, the spiritual payment given in exchange for the personal, selfish pleasure which one man derives from the virtues of another man’s character. Only a brute or an altruist would claim that the appreciation of another person’s virtues is an act of selflessness, that as far as one’s own selfish interest and pleasure are concerned, it makes no difference whether one deals with a genius or a fool, whether one meets a hero or a thug, whether one marries an ideal woman or a slut.

Virtues in a woman, means how much standards she lives by in defining a hero.

A virtuous man is a hero.

Femininity is the admiration of virtue with consideration of metaphysical differences of the sexes.

 

[Plinco]

“The Principles of Social Competence” by “Professor Plum”

From page 127

Pleasure is required to establish your authority. People must see a benefit to being governed by you. If you are going to direct the behavior of another person, you must be able to lead them toward a pleasurable result. Those in charge must be able to meet the need for order. This requires a pleasurable provision on your part. Your words, actions and resources must all be used to care for those under your authority. This means your words should make others happy, your actions should safeguard their welfare, and your money should provide for their physical needs (food, clothing, shelter). In short, if your authority isn’t pleasurable to those being governed by it, it’s dysfunctional and will lead to disorder.

Once your authority is established, pain is required to maintain it. This doesn’t mean you suddenly cut off the pleasure. It just means that the pleasure you provide must be conditional—it must be merited.

My notes

Respect is needed to maintain all of this. No respect = no love. Selflessness is not respected. The key to being respected and loved is selfishness.

Value is attractive because it brings a person into a more orderly (valuable) state. What these values are depends on the evaluator.

 

[parabellum]

The key difference between confidence and arrogance is whether or not one has an honest relationship with reality.

A Reality that is determined by others? Also, Honesty according to who?…

I disagree with you calling man weak and arrogant as if arrogant was a bad thing. Any strong and confident man is necessarily arrogant, in my experience, and the arrogance was always there, with the only difference one man “made it” and the other not, or not yet.

 

[Plinco]

A Reality that is determined by others? Also, Honesty according to who?…

Reality determined by others? I don't understand that.

I disagree with you calling man weak and arrogant as if arrogant was a bad thing. Any strong and confident man is necessarily arrogant, in my experience, and the arrogance was always there, with the only difference one man “made it” and the other not, or not yet.

That's confidence. I started my business with practically nothing, but I knew I had a good work ethic and a good head on my shoulders so I went for it. I was confident, not arrogant.

 

[Plinco]

I wanna focus on these threads of mine and combine notes

She lies to the men she doesn't respect | SoSuave Discussion Forum

Sh!t Testing | SoSuave Discussion Forum

Pickup Ideas | SoSuave Discussion Forum

Cleaning out the notes in my computer, found some tips | SoSuave Discussion Forum

 

[Plinco]

Interesting post. I'll dissect this later.

Broken Girls for a Broken Game - Male Privilege

 

[Plinco]

NLP is summed up as the following:

1) Establish rapport

2) The practitioner must get the target to anchor positive feelings and trust to the practitioner

3) Implant suggestions.

Emotional manipulation reveals desperation

 

[Plinco]

Women are more likely to avoid confrontation.

Getting attention from someone you don’t respect validates oneself, but it doesn’t help the attention giver. An example of this is reading an online dating profile. People who chase the validation of others are weak.

Never apologize to women. Turn the narrative around and make it her fault.

When you have earned pride in yourself, you will be in the mindset of making the rules around you; you have a DFGAF attitude. You will be thinking in terms of assessing her suitability, not that you're attracted to her.

If a woman likes you, she will want to know more about you. Not giving her information about you, and keeping her guessing sharpens the attraction.

Woman are sexually drawn to men who have sex with other women. That goes back to the animistic nature of our caveman past. This is a mindset issue for a man and an emotional one for a woman.

Sexually, she doesn’t want you to ask for permission. Only if she’s sexually attracted to you. Women like selfish and effective men.

Make business cards.

All women will judge your status by the car you drive.

Women get turned on by violence

For a man to be around other women in a personal way shows a variety of good social characteristics. For example, a man having a pictures with himself with other women on his dating profile.

Risk taking behavior and is being perceived as rising above social expectations.

 

[Plinco]

Women create choas = boredom + lack of accountability.

There’s a dynamic where women place themselves where sex can happen, but they do not want to make it easy. An example of this is a woman who goes with you to your place after a date while you give her the impression that sex isn’t going to happen.

This goes back to the menstrual cycle. When there’s a lack of the use of the rational faculty, one’s emotions manipulate the self; self destructive.

 

[Plinco]

Women pursue dopamine, like anyone else. This is truer when someone is irrational, like trying to fill a psychological void.

A woman gets that dopamine/in-love response while she is 'chasing' you. When a woman pursues you for her dopamine hit, that very act of chasing you, she falls in love with you.

When you do something that lifts her dopamine fog, then she becomes less attracted to you.

'players' manage a woman's perception (emotional manipulation) to make himself appear chase worthy. Using the conditioning process, the player acts in such a way to appear more and more chase worthy. Some call this game. This is where the idea of using game to increase a woman's attraction comes from. Using doubt, uncertainty, unpredictability and discomfort in order to induce her emotionally to get her to chase the player. This is what it means to communicate with her in a way that turns her on.

This all means being emotionally solid. That is the reason why mental illness is unattractive, it shows weakness of the mind, a place that matters most; the essence of masculinity is effectiveness.

When a woman as locked you down, she feels safe and her dopamine levels for you drop. Telling a woman that you are attracted to her, without being calibrated, will cause her to lose interest in you.

For a woman to love you, she has to perceive you to be a source of validation worth chasing.

For the record, I don't advocate emotional manipulation. Sex is not so important to lose your integrity over. I've said many times on this forum to become that high value person.

 

[Plinco]

A personality disorder is the self + trauma. Trauma makes a person more feral, more like a wild animal. That is not to say that the person cannot be rational and effective.

To say that a personality disorder is not a proper sense of self is to say that the person is not domesticated to the standards of those who call such people improper. This is not to say that the traumatized person should not be held accountable when the violate other individuals.

In such people, the trauma is a part of their identity. Adapting and overcoming strengthens the ego; adversity strengthens the ego. When a person is rational, the ego strengthens in a constructive way. When the person is irrational, the ego strengthens in a destructive way; this is the root of psychopathy.