Soft Next or am I Overthinking?

[CheekyMonkey101]

Hi.

I've been seeing this girl for just over a month now (nine dates in total).

She initiates a lot of contact, always happy to f*ck, quick to respond usually, inexpensive dates which often cost nothing, very touchy and shows up on time.

Last night on the way back from hers I asked when would be good for her next week as she's going away from Friday until Sunday. She said that she wasn't exactly sure yet as she is planning something with her female friends next week but is unsure of which day and is unavailable Thursday and Friday.

Obviously the "I'll let you know" is code for "no", so should I soft next for a bit or am I overthinking it?

She also messaged me late last night to see if I got home but I haven't responded yet.

I'd appreciate any suggestions and thanks in advance.

 

[Vanderdonck]

You are overthinking. She has a life outside of you and it's totally normal for her to have plans.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

You are overthinking. She has a life outside of you and it's totally normal for her to have plans.

True. She got concerned this morning and messaged me to see if I was okay and I hadn't responded and I just said that I fell asleep and forgot. She said that it was quite strange.

I won't try and arrange another date again with her until she messages me, though.

 

[Vanderdonck]

True. She got concerned this morning and messaged me to see if I was okay and I hadn't responded and I just said that I fell asleep and forgot. She said that it was quite strange.

I won't try and arrange another date again with her until she messages me, though.

Yeah let it breathe, that's fine. Just don't overthink. If I were in your shoes I'd just let her have her plans with her friends, and maybe circle back the following week (if she hasn't reached out by then).

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Yeah let it breathe, that's fine. Just don't overthink. If I were in your shoes I'd just let her have her plans with her friends, and maybe circle back the following week (if she hasn't reached out by then).

Yeah, I have a tendency to overthink things, unfortunately. Just how I am.

I'll wait and see and message other girls in the meantime.

 

[mikedee]

Yeah, I have a tendency to overthink things, unfortunately. Just how I am.

I'll wait and see and message other girls in the meantime.

You're insecure, gotta fix that.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

You're insecure, gotta fix that.

I know, I really do.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

My stomach was upset this morning. I didn't write a thread about it...

Women are fickle and like children

Who gives a sh1t what she said lol

You judge women by their actions

Women are manipulative, i'll say that

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

My stomach was upset this morning. I didn't write a thread about it...

Women are fickle and like children

Who gives a sh1t what she said lol

You judge women by their actions

Women are manipulative, i'll say that

That is all true. I won't message her again until she reaches out and suggests a solid date.

At least I'm seeing two other women this weekend.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

That is all true. I won't message her again until she reaches out and suggests a solid date.

At least I'm seeing two other women this weekend.

Lol

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

That is all true. I won't message her again until she reaches out and suggests a solid date.

At least I'm seeing two other women this weekend.

Every man should always keep an abundance mindset

Act like you have options, even if you don't

It takes time to master, but if you want to be a faker, you might as well own it

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Every man should always keep an abundance mindset

Act like you have options, even if you don't

It takes time to master, but if you want to be a faker, you might as well own it

Well I mean already pitched meeting up to her, so it's really up to her to come to me now. That isn't faking it.

Luckily I do have an abundance. She is my current "favourite" plate, but like all women she is replaceable.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Well I mean already pitched meeting up to her, so it's really up to her to come to me now. That isn't faking it.

Luckily I do have an abundance. She is my current "favourite" plate, but like all women she is replaceable.

You need to develop a confidence in yourself that is separate from women

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

You need to develop a confidence in yourself that is separate from women

Yeah, I'm trying to work on that. Still got a lot to do.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Yeah, I'm trying to work on that. Still got a lot to do.

Lol ok

i'm just using your thread as a soundboard

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Lol ok

i'm just using your thread as a soundboard

Fair enough.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Outcome independence means everything when it comes to women.

Do a search of "women numbers game"

That's an obvious example of outcome independence, but it's also a hurdle that most men never cross...

Approaching women is difficult; you get rejected more often than not, and have to come face-to-face with your own flaws. This is the first stage of Game

When you get more advanced, you can look into "dread game." Making the woman fear losing YOU

But guess what, it's also based on outcome independence

So, the beginning and end stages of Game are based on outcome independence

Do you see?

You should try to emulate this attitude, as it takes many years to develop at heart

Fake it until then

 

[Agamemnon43]

I wouldn't set up another date immediately when we part ways. I don't even think about that at that time lol.

However, sometimes she's gonna employ the same tactic- the fear of being perceived as being too available to you, so she might have replied about some nonexistent plan with her friends. Just say "alright, have fun if you do" which will tell her you are okay with her having life outside of you and prove that you are not jealous. She will come back to you very fast, trust me.
In any case, this is nothing to worry about.

 

[Learning Curve]

Obviously the "I'll let you know" is code for "no", so should I soft next for a bit or am I overthinking it?

Soft next? Dude, you are f3ucking and going well with this chick, what is this with you guys trying to over-think stuff and next women who just say "i'll let you know"?

Let her ping you when she is back, arrange a new date, and move on from there.

Overthinking, kills guys chances in this game. This new era of soft-next when a chick just responds unsure when everything is going fine is what causes guys to enter this phase of Alpha-Beta crap.

She also messaged me late last night to see if I got home but I haven't responded yet.

Great, nothing has changed. Is you overthinking and reading a-lot of books on nexting women when they tell you "i will let you know"

There is friends, There is a thing called life and schedule. Circumstances change. Adapt.

Things are going fine, let her go with her female friends and ping you when she is back, schedule the next date.

There you go.

 

[Bingo-Player]

imo ANY sudden and unexplainable change in her availability / mood / vibe usually means theres a new sheriff on the scene and she's either thinking about scheduling a new d1ck appointment or already having one

You're still in very shallow waters at only a month in and its very possible theres other guys either still on the scene or coming back on it

Proceed with caution