How much do women want to be approached?

[Captain Rizz]

They want to be approached to some extent, but how much? And by whom? Where and when?

Are there any good theories or numbers on this?

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

You will never know the answer to this impossible equation. Social interactions are not algebra. Not formulaic. If you think she's cute? Say hello. No matter what.

I know a married couple where they met in the ER. He was the physician & her mother was very ill....This was in Egypt, which is a very conservative Muslim country.

I know a married couple who met literally on 3rd base whilst playing for opposing coed softball teams. He was the 3rd baseman & she was the base runner.

I hate to say this but if you are asking this kind of question OP, you are afraid to approach. Who cares! Go say Hi. If she thinks you are cute or interesting she will talk with you. If she doesn't, she won't. Simple.

Do you want ketchup with those fries? Does the drive through clerk care if you say yes or no? Nope.

Just take your shot & see what happens. Fear will ruin you in the human interaction game. She's not going to bite you. Go say Hi.

 

[BaronOfHair]

They want to be approached to some extent, but how much? And by whom? Where and when?

Everywhere, except whatever now serves as the modern equivalent to Lilith Fair

 

[crowolf]

Enough. Go and find out on your own.

(hint* they love to be approached if it’s done right)

(hint2* doing it right takes practice. in field practice that no amount of mental mastrubation will give you)

 

[9-3enthusiast]

Advice from the old lady:

You will never know the answer to this impossible equation. Social interactions are not algebra. Not formulaic. If you think she's cute? Say hello. No matter what.

<snip>

Just take your shot & see what happens. Fear will ruin you in the human interaction game. She's not going to bite you. Go say Hi.

It really is as simple as this;
It helps if you're naturally talkative/sociable - and it helps A LOT if you're comfortable in your own skin.

I'll speak to absolutely anyone, man or woman, and whether I find her attractive or not - So when I do find a woman attractive, it's easy to start a conversation. No formula required, and no need for anything 'startling' - I'll just comment on whatever is around us at the time.

Don't be 'outcome dependant' though - You don't want to come across as 'Try-hard'.
If the conversation flows, great, if not, just move on with your day, no harm done.

A few examples where things have gone well:
• In a music store, saw a woman looking at guitar strings with a note in hand - I commented she looked puzzled..
Turned out she was getting them for her son (hence the note)... I helped her choose, the conversation went well >>> Coffee >>> A few months together.
• During Covid times, in line in a grocery store, I commented it's like the lines at a theme park, but without the ride at the end - She laughed >>> Almost a year together.
• Parking my car in town, noticed a stunning (to me) redhead doing the same, commented on the parking situation at the time >>> We are currently still together...

OP - Get into the habit of speaking to absolutely anyone, get comfortable holding a basic conversation for a few mins...
If it's a woman you find attractive, you'll soon learn to pick up on cues as to whether or not she might be interested - If it seems she might, go for the contact info...
If not just move on and forget it - She will... Don't sweat it, it's really no big deal to talk to someone with no outcome - and sooner or later it will 'stick' with one.

 

[zekko]

Just take your shot & see what happens. Fear will ruin you in the human interaction game. She's not going to bite you. Go say Hi.

As Vince Vaughn said in Swingers: Kill the bunny.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Everywhere, except whatever now serves as the modern equivalent to Lilith Fair

Number of people in the forum that knows and understood the reference to Lilith Fair = 0

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Number of people in the forum that knows and understood the reference to Lilith Fair = 0

I did. So that's 1.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I did. So that's 1.

But you know everything so you don’t count lol

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

But you know everything so you don’t count lol

Well, I guess I should take that as a compliment...

 

[BaronOfHair]

Number of people in the forum that knows and understood the reference to Lilith Fair = 0

The ones who've heard of Google and Wikipedia, know how to use a keyboard, understand it perfectly

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The ones who've heard of Google and Wikipedia, know how to use a keyboard, understand it perfectly

And some even like the music of Sarah McLachlan.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Number of people in the forum that knows and understood the reference to Lilith Fair = 0

Make it 1.

 

[SW15]

Women want to be approached by men they find attractive. They are not interested in any other type of approach.

 

[Dash Riprock]

They want to be approached to some extent, but how much? And by whom? Where and when?

Are there any good theories or numbers on this?

This is a slippery slope with a lot of moving parts.

Women are not nearly as used to being cold approached as they were 15-20 years ago due to the advent of social media, dating apps/sites, and (IMO) the reduction in confidence, game, and overall communication skills from most guys today. Because looks also count a lot more these days, obviously your results will be better if you're a good looking man. Most guys are quite awkward about cold approach or won't do it at all, again due to prevalence on online meeting options, so many women will be caught off guard especially if it’s in a public setting vs a party or planned social gathering.

So my recommendation is to start small with a simple "hi", a question, or funny observation. Immediately gauge her facial expression, response, and body language. I won't get into all the possible positive and negative signs (read up on this) but if you're getting positive signs, then gingerly escalate. If you're any good at all, you can parlay this into a number or @ close.

Good luck.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Most women, even ones in relationships or marriage, would welcome prince charming sweeping her off her feet any day, any time. Why else would they wear makeup and put effort into their appearance whenever they leave the house?

If the guy is low value or "creepy" they don't want to be approached.

So the answer is: any time, if it's the right guy.

 

[BaronOfHair]

So the answer is: any time, if it's the right guy.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

enough that as in, for all time and likely all eternity, they just expect it, if they are out at a venue or any public place, or any social setting, and no guy is approaching them, they are thinking "why aren't any guys hitting on me?"

 

[SW15]

Women are not nearly as used to being cold approached as they were 15-20 years ago due to the advent of social media, dating apps/sites, and (IMO) the reduction in confidence, game, and overall communication skills from most guys today. Because looks also count a lot more these days, obviously your results will be better if you're a good looking man. Most guys are quite awkward about cold approach or won't do it at all, again due to prevalence on online meeting options, so many women will be caught off guard especially if it’s in a public setting vs a party or planned social gathering.

I still think women field a good number of real life approaches even if the typical woman of today doesn't get approached in-person as much as her similarly aged equivalent did 15-20 years ago.

I think most women barely notice a drop off in their real life approaches. Most are too busy with hundreds of options from their swipe app and social media network presences.

Agree that more guys are awkward about it.

I can't recall an instance where a woman rudely received my in-person approach. It helps for me that I am reasonably good looking but I'm not in the top tier of looks. If a woman isn't interested in me for whatever reason, the conversation typical fizzles out in a short period of time before I can ask her out on a date. I prefer talking at least for a few minutes and seeing if there's a good connection there before I ask someone to go on a date. Most approaches in most venues (especially non-bar "daygame" venues) will fizzle out in less than 60 seconds.

I am likely a more experienced in-person approacher than most. Very few men have done more daygame approaches than I have. Daygame has always been a bit of a niche activity.

my recommendation is to start small with a simple "hi", a question, or funny observation. Immediately gauge her facial expression, response, and body language. I won't get into all the possible positive and negative signs (read up on this) but if you're getting positive signs, then gingerly escalate. If you're any good at all, you can parlay this into a number or @ close.

This is good advice. I believe it is best to close with setting up a future date. Only collect the phone number after a date agreement has bee made.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I doubt most are getting approach IRL as much as you think

most cold approach encounters I've had are usually positive interactions probably out of 1000+ only a handful have been awkwardd

The approach is not usually the difficult part , the difficulty is nurturing that that tiny spark into a fire

Modern women have short attention spans and are fussy until she actually knows you she will value you on metrics out of your control

------------------------------------------------------------------

A classic case of this was last year I was out in a bar I was running hot on confidence and decided to take one of the servers on

She was cute but very young like 21 i managed to get her instagram and a kiss literally over the bar

I messaged her the next day with no response

about 6 weeks later by pure coincidence I'm training in the gym and this cute chick comes to train next to me ....I don't think much of it

Later that evening I get a message....... it was the same girl from the bar saying she thinks we go to the same gym and she thought I was really sexy