Matched girl gives me her instagram

[kleathe1]

Matched with a girl and exchanged a few fun messages. She says "let's continue in ig, leave me a message on there if that's ok with you" then gives me her username. I don't have an Instagram so is it better to just get her number instead of being a thirsty follower, or is this just the way younger girls talk to guys these days? She's 29 I'm 36. Thoughts?

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Bot

 

[Young OG]

Matched with a girl and exchanged a few fun messages. She says "let's continue in ig, leave me a message on there if that's ok with you" then gives me her username. I don't have an Instagram so is it better to just get her number instead of being a thirsty follower, or is this just the way younger girls talk to guys these days? She's 29 I'm 36. Thoughts?

She just wants another follower. Never accept anything but a woman’s phone number. If she is really interested then she will give it to you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Don't go for this nonsense. Get her number or find someone else.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

A) She wants another follower on IG
B) She wants to check your IG to find a reason to disqualify you
C) She's a bot harvesting data
D) All of the above

 

[parabellum]

Honestly I have done her same move on girls and it has worked. I would advise against being immediately discouraged. Just say you don’t have Ig and offer your phone. If she doesn’t react then bless and release.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She is just on site for orbiters, not to date anyone.

Still, my response would be this:

“Unfortunately, I do not have Instagram. Let’s continue over the phone instead. What is the best number to reach you?”

In all likelihood she will unmatch you but the frame is established and you can move on to someone else.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

My own take on this as someone who has been actively on OLD for years is that she wants to:

1) assess your SMV based on your social media.

2) she wants to know you're not a catfish and a real person.

I honestly think it's hard to do well on OLD nowadays without social media, especially if you are dealing with younger girls.

 

[Learning Curve]

Matched with a girl and exchanged a few fun messages. She says "let's continue in ig, leave me a message on there if that's ok with you" then gives me her username. I don't have an Instagram so is it better to just get her number instead of being a thirsty follower, or is this just the way younger girls talk to guys these days? She's 29 I'm 36. Thoughts?

You can't match online without Instagram or Social Media.

This is 2024.

If you are using online matching like Tinder, keep in mind all women ask for Instagram to either disqualify you or to move forward to a date.

You either adapt to this situation and get results or try in-person pickup.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

The generations of women I spend time with 35-55 vary greatly. If I match a chick and she wants to IG I tell them I do t use it ask say let’s text. 8/10 will just say I’m weird and unmatch that tells me they wanted followers. Or it could just be that social media is so pervasive now with the younger folks that if you don’t have it you’re “weird”. I’ve considered curating and IG presence but thought better of it. The social media crowd is vacuous at best.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I’ve considered curating and IG presence but thought better of it. The social media crowd is vacuous at best.

I think you're right about not getting IG solely for women to have another way of contacting / vetting you. If you have no personal / business reason for IG, it's best not to engage.

 

[kleathe1]

My response "Sorry love, don't have ig. Give me your number and we can get off this app. Mine is ......." She responded with "that's a shame ? Cry face emoji". I told her not to cry and offered carrier pigeons as an alternate option. I don't feel like it's a good idea to start an ig account just to appease a girl. I understand that the social media presence is something people look for and I have my own reasons not to have one. I suppose if a girl doesn't want to date over that issue then I probably don't want to date her anyway no matter how good she looks. I'll hold my frame and see how it plays out although I suspect it's not going much further at this point. I do appreciate all the different perspectives this board brings to nuanced situations like this.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

She responded with "that's a shame ? Cry face emoji".

"If you get that emotional about social media, you shouldn't be on Instagram, you sensitive soul, you."

 

[Gamisch]

Its really simple;

Who ever gets to make the decisions is the one controlling the frame. The problem is that as a MAN you are "supposed " to control the frame. Doesn't matter if it's about which place, what time, how to communicate up to what position how often ect.

(Unfortunately?) By now EVERY member here knows the rules , the cliches ect. They are true. If you really are a "opportunity " to her she should be happy to be in touch with you either way.

Imagine you ditching a prime looking Halle or J.LO because " she doesn't have snapchat ". Like unmatch, ghosting, youre not even willing to grao a coffee with her sometime..There's no universe where that would ever happen, right?

 

[Dr.Suave]

Thoughts?

Possibly Low interest, wants followers, and she´s leading the interaction isntead of letting you lead. This usually doesnt work out. Focus on other matches.

 

[nismo-4]

No going to IG. Unless you have a blue check, a Lambo, and 100k followers.

OP, either she wants to disqualify you, wants another follower, or is trying to get you to subscribe to her Onlyfans. It's 2024. Be like *NSYNC. She fails to comply, send her Bye Bye Bye!

Case closed.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP you can say "I'd prefer something a little more intimate if I'm getting to know you" which holds your frame while also sending her a message - "I see your bs, and it ain't gonna work"

 

[EyeBRollin]

My response "Sorry love, don't have ig. Give me your number and we can get off this app. Mine is ......." She responded with "that's a shame ? Cry face emoji".

As expected. She’s searching for orbiters. Like other posters said, she probably has an only fans.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

As expected. She’s searching for orbiters. Like other posters said, she probably has an only fans.

It's ineffective to be demanding of those coming from a place of entitlement though. "I'd love to but I don't have it. If you like we can text or chat, my # is 123-1212, what about you?" would be better imo. Probably still the same result, but there's a small chance she might bite. (and if she asks you to download ig, you have no space on your phone, "sorry about that").

Lol the carrier pigeons were a nice touch, OP

 

[BillyPilgrim]

My response "Sorry love, don't have ig. Give me your number and we can get off this app. Mine is ......." She responded with "that's a shame ? Cry face emoji". I told her not to cry and offered carrier pigeons as an alternate option. I don't feel like it's a good idea to start an ig account just to appease a girl. I understand that the social media presence is something people look for and I have my own reasons not to have one. I suppose if a girl doesn't want to date over that issue then I probably don't want to date her anyway no matter how good she looks. I'll hold my frame and see how it plays out although I suspect it's not going much further at this point. I do appreciate all the different perspectives this board brings to nuanced situations like this.

Reading this again, the "?" in her response is an open door. Hit her up with a cool date idea on the app and she how she responds