I’m in deep

[Divorced w 3]

Wait...you ended up going thru all this, having he move in and then like a week later it's done?

I never said that?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I never said that?

Oh...just read things wrong I guess. My bad.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Oh...just read things wrong I guess. My bad.

No, it was the troll post above you saw, and at the time I thought there may be validity to her looking on a forum for help and I just basically didn’t care and also didn’t think it true bc that would have been (and was) massively out of character for her.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I just reminded my girlfriend that she and I would have to discuss a prenuptial and it would need to include holding back alimony unless children were born, my rationale being that it she’s working and on her feet, why am I giving her a safety net. That went over like acid rain. It wasn’t always this way. Instead of mentioning this leading up, she played me and delayed by six weeks the rent due and changed her position on alimony, rent and expenses until the day her tenant would have been at a month from move in.

I think the prenuptial is a good litmus test. I think someone should always be true to themselves from the very beginning in a relationship including not hiding the way they like to live and they shouldn’t have to suppress their tastes for the things in life they enjoy.

I don’t live in a common law state and with her moving in a few months ago I started bringing important conversations forward more frequently out of not just self preservation with her losing access to her legal residence but also for her own decency as she was about to clock a year or more on the baby clock without a ring. Truthfully I think this was days or weeks in the making, she was withholding some other money, on mutual items and I wonder now if this is why.

If you know me, at all by now, you can guess how I reacted to the way she went about laying down her ultimatum. There is probably no coming back from what I said and the fire inside me as it related to how easily she could just toss on a dime her ability to even provide a graceful exit to my children.

She has until Saturday to get over here for the day and roll sleeves up and hammer this out - I said there is no basis to draw this out past the weekend with the living situation and her tenant waiting and too many important questions to not have answered.

Her response was that she was going to attend a party mid day for her friends daughter, so to everyone here who wants to say I told you so, I get it. This will never happen again.

I also may throw her entire closet in the dumpster. She has a ton of crap here. TBD.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Give it a rest why dont ya, geez man. Dw3 isn't even here to respond (defend his decision), he's been temp-banned per @Dr.Suave last post.

No one knows the 'ins and outs' of their relationship but the two of them, if it turns out to be a mistake, so be, just like everything else we experience in life.

If you look two pages back on this persons history you’ll see he’s got mental issues , dating women who are schizophrenic, and is a diesel mechanic moonlighting as a correspondent law student. He thinks he’s Saul Goodman.

Readers, beware of fiction.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Advice from the old lady:

Sometimes we as humans make a mess of things out of our own insecurities. I think that is what has happened here, to a great degree.

OP readily admits to disliking being alone, and readily admits that he wants a (+) female influence in the lives of his children.

1. Dislike of being alone is the root issue.
2. Need of female presence for the kids is the rationalization.

Does nobody else see this? To me it’s becoming very clear.

The healthy thing for OP to do is NOT move this woman into his home and learn to go through life with a comfort level being by himself. There is something lacking in OP. It is that lack which creates this dynamic in his relationships (and it was also there in some manifestation with his ex wife.)

Until OP straightens himself out and gets comfortable in his own company he’s going to torch his relationships and make hasty decisions like accepting the first girl who pays attention to him.

He is needy and insecure because of his discomfort being alone, everything else is a band aid for that; the associated drama is the necessary by product and distraction.

Just my $0.02

You nailed it. You really did. I jumped into the first real thing I saw and that was a mistake. But you need to experience things sometimes and this was the situation I needed. I am better off for it.

 

[Gamisch]

You nailed it. You really did. I jumped into the first real thing I saw and that was a mistake. But you need to experience things sometimes and this was the situation I needed. I am better off for it.

You are a father of three kids.

When I said most men must consider dating down you went at me. But this is what I mean. Dating a "hot " woman while you can barely sleep at night because she's stressing the hell out of you...

Time to hang em up champ. New phase in life. Will be more about peace of mind instead of piece of azz

 

[Divorced w 3]

You are a father of three kids.

When I said most men must consider dating down you went at me. But yhis is what I mean. Dating a "hot " woman while you can barely sleep at night because she's stressing the gell out of you...

Time to hang em up champ. New phase in life. Will be more about peace of mind instead of piece of azz

I am sorry.

and don’t feel too bad for me. I have a date next week with a miss America contestant.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I have a date next week with a miss America contestant.

I'm sorry to hear that. My condolences.

 

[BeExcellent]

You nailed it. You really did. I jumped into the first real thing I saw and that was a mistake. But you need to experience things sometimes and this was the situation I needed. I am better off for it.

Well my friend its an opportunity to grow. You now were seeing true colors because she thought she had bagged you. Spend time by yourself and learn to sit in that discomfort until you grow to appreciate your solitude. The pre nup thing is eye opening but so is the bit about the rent. She seems to expect to move into yours and live off your dime, unless I am really misreading. Slow down and evaluate who these women are on the inside; are they worthy of admission to your life.

My father had an affair while married to my mother. My mother found out and divorced my dad. He immediately married his mistress and they were together 33 years. When he died we found she had gotten power of attorney at the end of his life and fleeced everything he had left for us, his children, in the will. She was to get 50% of his estate, the other 50% was to split 4 ways between us daughters. Instead she raided the investment accounts as he lay dying and she took 90% of his estate, against his wishes. That was a bitter thing. My father did not want that. She did not care in the end.

I vowed nobody would ever be able to do that to my children. Nobody. I worked too hard to build the legacy that will assist their success when I am gone.

You have to think differently; do differently.

My father's Achilles heel was like yours, he hated to be alone. And he was extremely handsome so if he had been patient he could have chosen a second wife who was a nice person, rather than a cunning snake.

Think on that. Think about your kids and what you want for them.