Sh1t test - low interest and next or up-game? -

[anour]

DJs

I have a question for y’all, how can you identify a **** test?

There was a girl who i picked up, conversation was a bit platonic, i took her insta, right before me asking for her insta, she said “oh i might not reply”, i said “ oh well its your loss”. I interpreted that as low-interest and i simply unfollowed her a few hours after that.

Few days pass by, i see her again this time in a mall, i was with 2 other guys, she recognized me and she gives me a “firm” handshake and she acts like she wants to initiate conversation but i simply turn it down, in essence acting not interested. She begins speaking to another dude who was with me on the stairs, i then just having small-talk with ones of the guys, and at the end i continue going to where i was going.

I see her again on a different day, she says “hi how are you”, to which i say “who are you?” (because it took me a second to recognize her, usually i have this ability to forget chicks to just forget chicks who reject me like very fast) Back to our topic —> She says “sofia” she then continues walking, and i continue going where i was going, i made a sound that hinted “now look at you” without actually saying it.

When i think about it i would’ve wanted to smash, how you do approach such a situation? Was this a **** test and i started acting petty later? By the looks of it her actions after me pulling away signified that she had interest. I want to hear DJs’ take on this one.

 

[Solomon]

The forum will disagree with me, but there are certain shyt tests where IMO a woman disqualifies herself in this situation it is one
Or when a woman talks about her ex-boyfriend.

Forget jumping through hoops, as a man one of the most powerful things you can do is walk away. Everyone always likes to talk about Brad Pitt and Drake, do you think these women would shyt test those guys? nope they would be on their best behavior, women know who they can play that with. IMO OP you did the right thing, if she was interested no need for the corny jokes

Once again I know people will disagree but as a man a woman has to pass my test and vetting process first. I'm the prize and I sure damn act like it. So that comment would have had me laughing and keep it moving, no need to act mad or butthurt a woman who is interested wont talk or act goofy like that

 

[anour]

The forum will disagree with me, but there are certain shyt tests where IMO a woman disqualifies herself in this situation it is one
Or when a woman talks about her ex-boyfriend.

Forget jumping through hoops, as a man one of the most powerful things you can do is walk away. Everyone always likes to talk about Brad Pitt and Drake, do you think these women would shyt test those guys? nope they would be on their best behavior, women know who they can play tha with. IMO OP you did the right thing

Once again I know people will disagree but as a man a woman has to past my test and vetting process first. I'm the prize and I sure damn act like it. So that comment would have had me laughing and keep it moving, no need to act mad or butthurt a woman who is instersted wont talk or act goofy like that

Absolutely, any guy a girl is interested in, she’d make it very easy for him, no hoops, no stupid innuendos. That’s why i walked away, i value myself and my time, and if a certain chick doesn’t feel that way, too bad then hah cauze i’m walking away.

 

[anour]

The forum will disagree with me, but there are certain shyt tests where IMO a woman disqualifies herself in this situation it is one
Or when a woman talks about her ex-boyfriend.

Forget jumping through hoops, as a man one of the most powerful things you can do is walk away. Everyone always likes to talk about Brad Pitt and Drake, do you think these women would shyt test those guys? nope they would be on their best behavior, women know who they can play tha with. IMO OP you did the right thing

Once again I know people will disagree but as a man a woman has to past my test and vetting process first. I'm the prize and I sure damn act like it. So that comment would have had me laughing and keep it moving, no need to act mad or butthurt a woman who is instersted wont talk or act goofy like that

Btw did i sound mad or butthurt the way i acted?

 

[Solomon]

Btw did i sound mad or butthurt the way i acted?

Nope but just keep in mind ignoring her and walking away you won't be able to smash. If you wanna play the game then yeah you gonna have to jump through the hoops. I'm the old for that shyt lol

 

[Bokanovsky]

The forum will disagree with me, but there are certain shyt tests where IMO a woman disqualifies herself in this situation it is one
Or when a woman talks about her ex-boyfriend.

Badmouthing her ex and complaining about men in general are instant disqualifiers in my book.

 

[Solomon]

Badmouthing her ex and complaining about men in general are instant disqualifies in my book.

I remember a few years ago when I was using OLD a lot. THere was a 40-year-old woman who in the first text conversation brought up her "Ex-boyfriend micro penis" now mind you she is looking for marriage. I lol'd and blocked her, some shyt test aren't shyt test they are just straight up disrespect.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP you said her name was "Sofia", was this girl Greek? Since you're in the Netherlands try and go for the Dutch girls if you can, less ethnicity-based insecurity or religious issues. The "firm handshake" bit was good for a lol. Generally speaking "outlier group" women can pose issues.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Let's be very clear.

Lack of interest is NOT the same as a sh!t test. Sh!t tests are usually only done when a woman actually is interested and wants to screen you to make sure you are what she thinks you are(ie, a good catch).

Too many men want to call simple lack of interest a sh!t test these days.

 

[anour]

Nope but just keep in mind ignoring her and walking away you won't be able to smash. If you wanna play the game then yeah you gonna have to jump through the hoops. I'm the old for that shyt lol

Bro do you have like ion the top of your mind a few “hoops” that chicks do? Maybe the link to an article on sosuave? I understand the older you get, the less stuff you tolerate

 

[anour]

OP you said her name was "Sofia", was this girl Greek? Since you're in the Netherlands try and go for the Dutch girls if you can, less ethnicity-based insecurity or religious issues. The "firm handshake" bit was good for a lol. Generally speaking "outlier group" women can pose issues.

I think so, can’t really remember but she said she was born in canada or lived there, so i thought she would be open.
The thing is with dutch girls idk if it is a belief that stemmed from rejection from cold approaches or just insecurity but i feel Dutch girls like “white men” especially in the city i am in because a lot of fraternities “Kappa, Gamma, Omega equivalent in the US). I have had 3 dutch girls till now, mediocore experience, however these girls were like “outliers” like you said. Sometimes i don’t think they were outliers but simply because i was rejected like a quanzillion times, i started to get butthurt and simply shift focus on other girls, but that may be a mistake. whenever i’m on the street sometimes it shows that i am “butthurt” through body language, so idk man. I need to self-examine to get the bottom of this.

do you have any tips to how to overcome this negative thought/idea/belief? Have you had any experience with dutch girls and would like to share? Would be awesome man!

 

[anour]

Let's be very clear.

Lack of interest is NOT the same as a sh!t test. Sh!t tests are usually only done when a woman actually is interested and wants to screen you to make sure you are what she thinks you are(ie, a good catch).

Too many men want to call simple lack of interest a sh!t test these days.

Usually when you ignore a woman, from my experience, if she has no to low interest she wouldn’t care if you pull away. But if you do pull away and then she tries then at best is low-interest. All in all, little energy should be spent on these chicks. So i agree with you.

since you’re a moderator btw, do you have any links for articles on the forum that speak about sh*t tests, how they look like and how you can handle em?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Usually when you ignore a woman, from my experience, if she has no to low interest she wouldn’t care if you pull away. But if you do pull away and then she tries then at best is low-interest. All in all, little energy should be spent on these chicks. So i agree with you.

since you’re a moderator btw, do you have any links for articles on the forum that speak about sh*t tests, how they look like and how you can handle em?

There is a search function that can be very useful that you could use to bring back threads specifically related to what you ask it for.

Probably the best way to go about looking for stuff on the forum.

 

[anour]

There is a search function that can be very useful that you could use to bring back threads specifically related to what you ask it for.

Probably the best way to go about looking for stuff on the forum.

I will utilize that functionality right away.

 

[Solomon]

Bro do you have like ion the top of your mind a few “hoops” that chicks do? Maybe the link to an article on sosuave? I understand the older you get, the less stuff you tolerate

"Jumping through hoops" is anything where the woman controls the power dynamic or frame in the relationship, the more you jump the more she will "play" with you for example

-You always have to text or call first-her responses are usually one-word answers or lack enthusiasm
-You always have to drive to her or go to a place to date near her (If you don't have your own place then it makes sense)
-For example, you tell a girl let's go to Red Lobster but she wants to go to Ruth Christ
-The Woman is always making plans that work for her she never compromises
-If she says she doesn't have sex for the first 6 months, Do you think a woman would say that shyt to Drake? she playing with you unless she trying to get married or looking for marriage than that's an exception to the rule (belive it or not there are still religious women out here and I respect that)
-She always cancels but then gives you enough bait to keep you interested just to do it again (she has no plans of meeting you if she does this 2X times or more she playing in your face!)
-A woman who never pays for dates (if you're rich this doesn't matter lol)
-She always bring up her ex or other men that she has dated
-She tells you, you can't hang out with your friends or certain friends (this usually happens once you become serious)

There are many more but these are the ones I can think of, of top cause these are very common

Basically you're always doing more for her than she is doing for you or she ask's you to do goofy stuff it's all a powerplay. These women typically are not interested in you and will use any slight mistake to disqualify you. Some women (usually narcs/BPDs etc) get a kick out of seeing how far a man is willing to simp for her due to the validation.

In my experience typically women who are genuinely attracted to you, will not do this or keep it to a minimum(as it's in a woman's nature to test men, even in the bible women tested men i.e.Delialiah with Samson, Queen Sheeba with Solomon etc). For example, I had a chick who I talked a while ago on a dating app. She never wanted to meet me near my place even though I offered to take her out to eat, she always wanted me to meet at her place. I never did because I wasn't that attracted to her, I was just talking to her to keep myself motivated on someone better, lo and behold I met another chick who was willing to drive an hour to come see me and come straight to my crib she didn't ask for me to take her out or spend money on her. I'm not going to cap I didn't smash but It taught me a valuable lesson to not waste my time on women who I'm not attracted too or don't even want to drive to smash lol

 

[anour]

"Jumping through hoops" is anything where the woman controls the power dynamic or frame in the relationship, the more you jump the more she will "play" with you for example

-You always have to text or call first-her responses are usually one-word answers or lack enthusiasm
-You always have to drive to her or go to a place to date near her (If you don't have your own place then it makes sense)
-For example, you tell a girl let's go to Red Lobster but she wants to go to Ruth Christ
-The Woman is always making plans that work for her she never compromises
-If she says she doesn't have sex for the first 6 months, Do you think a woman would say that shyt to Drake? she playing with you unless she trying to get married or looking for marriage than that's an exception to the rule (belive it or not there are still religious women out here and I respect that)
-She always cancels but then gives you enough bait to keep you interested just to do it again (she has no plans of meeting you if she does this 2X times or more she playing in your face!)
-A woman who never pays for dates (if you're rich this doesn't matter lol)
-She always bring up her ex or other men that she has dated
-She tells you, you can't hang out with your friends or certain friends (this usually happens once you become serious)

There are many more but these are the ones I can think of, of top cause these are very common

Basically you're always doing more for her than she is doing for you or she ask's you to do goofy stuff it's all a powerplay. These women typically are not interested in you and will use any slight mistake to disqualify you. Some women (usually narcs/BPDs etc) get a kick out of seeing how far a man is willing to simp for her due to the validation.

In my experience typically women who are genuinely attracted to you, will not do this or keep it to a minimum(as it's in a woman's nature to test men, even in the bible women tested men i.e.Delialiah with Samson, Queen Sheeba with Solomon etc). For example, I had a chick who I talked a while ago on a dating app. She never wanted to meet me near my place even though I offered to take her out to eat, she always wanted me to meet at her place. I never did because I wasn't that attracted to her, I was just talking to her to keep myself motivated on someone better, lo and behold I met another chick who was willing to drive an hour to come see me and come straight to my crib she didn't ask for me to take her out or spend money on her. I'm not going to cap I didn't smash but It taught me a valuable lesson to not waste my time on women who I'm not attracted too or don't even want to drive to smash lol

Gems my brother Gems, appreciate the eye openers. I’m like you in the sense if i ain’t really on it, then i ain’t really on it. I’ve also had instances with date cancellations and then bait to see if i’d bite, won’t lye bit a few times but no longer.

 

[anour]

I think so, can’t really remember but she said she was born in canada or lived there, so i thought she would be open.
The thing is with dutch girls idk if it is a belief that stemmed from rejection from cold approaches or just insecurity but i feel Dutch girls like “white men” especially in the city i am in because a lot of fraternities “Kappa, Gamma, Omega equivalent in the US). I have had 3 dutch girls till now, mediocore experience, however these girls were like “outliers” like you said. Sometimes i don’t think they were outliers but simply because i was rejected like a quanzillion times, i started to get butthurt and simply shift focus on other girls, but that may be a mistake. whenever i’m on the street sometimes it shows that i am “butthurt” through body language, so idk man. I need to self-examine to get the bottom of this.

do you have any tips to how to overcome this negative thought/idea/belief? Have you had any experience with dutch girls and would like to share? Would be awesome man!

@Solomon can you please take a look at this. Have you ever had a similar experience? What’d you do if you were in my shoes?

 

[AttackFormation]

Btw did i sound mad or butthurt the way i acted?

I dont see why youd need to say "your loss", and any similar behavior. You know that too deep down, or it wouldnt occur to you to ask if you sounded passive aggressive. But acknowledging that you might have something to work on means most of the work is already done.

 

[Solomon]

@Solomon can you please take a look at this. Have you ever had a similar experience? What’d you do if you were in my shoes?

What I did and still do is very simple, I don't let that affect me, as a black guy living in a mostly white town rejection comes with the process. The biggest thing I will tell you is most people who reject you based on your race aren't racists they just prefer and want to date their own race. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!

Don't take it personally there will be a woman who won't give a shyt about your skin color, they may be harder to meet but that's the grind, heck in 2024 we have more non-black women dating/marrying black men than ever lol

 

[anour]

What I did and still do is very simple, I don't let that affect me, as a black guy living in a mostly white town rejection comes with the process. The biggest thing I will tell you is most people who reject you based on your race aren't racists they just prefer and want to date their own race. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!

Don't take it personally there will be a woman who won't give a shyt about your skin color, they may be harder to meet but that's the grind, heck in 2024 we have more non-black women dating/marrying black men than ever lol

Preach big brother preach, thank you bro for this.