Guys i went out with this freaky ass chick, we were vibing, having fun and all, we laughing, we go back to her place, we ****ed, we speak again on instagram, i try to set up the 2nd date, then i get hit with this “I do not have time this Saturday. but idk if i feel like meeting up again, if i do I don’t feel more then friends ”
Wtf went wrong, how can you prevent such from happening?
btw during sex we went 2 rounds, first one was fast, 2nd one was longer with a creampie, then after the 2nd round she just wears her clothes and says i ain’t in the mood, i was thinking maybe sex game or some other ****.
what y’all think? How should i respond?
In the study "Sexual Regret: Tests of Competing Explanations of Sex Differences" by Kennair, Bendixen, and Buss study situations like yours through the lens of evolutionary psychology and sex differences in sexual regret. Individuals' reactions after casual sexual encounters can vary widely and are influenced by different psychological and emotional factors, many of which are deeply rooted in our evolutionary past.
The research found that, on average,
women are more likely to regret having engaged in casual sex than men. This difference is thought to be due to evolutionary pressures and differences in parental investment.
For women, the potential consequences of casual sex (e.g., pregnancy) have historically been more significant, leading to a more cautious approach to casual sexual encounters. In contrast, men, from an evolutionary perspective, have had fewer potential reproductive costs associated with casual sex, making them more likely to regret missed opportunities for sexual encounters rather than the encounters themselves.
So some possible explanations:
1. Sexual Satisfaction: The study also explored sexual gratification as a factor influencing sexual regret. If the sexual encounter didn't meet her expectations or if she didn't find it as gratifying, this could lead to regret or a lack of interest in repeating the experience.
2. Socio-Sexual Orientation: Individuals have varying degrees of openness to casual sex, influenced by their socio-sexual orientation. Someone with a more restricted socio-sexual orientation might be less likely to engage in or enjoy casual sex, leading to regret or disinterest in future encounters.
3. Post-Encounter Feelings: The woman's response could also stem from her post-encounter feelings, which might include a mix of emotional and psychological responses not directly related to the quality of the sexual experience. These could be influenced by worries about reputation, STIs, or a reassessment of her interest in casual sex or in you as a partner.
A possible response could be:
"I appreciate your honesty and respect your feelings. I had a good time with you, and while I was hoping we could see where things might go, I understand if you're not feeling it. If you ever change your mind or want to hang out as friends, I'm open to that. Take care!"
This response acknowledges her feelings, expresses your own without pressuring her, and leaves the door open for future interaction, whether as friends or something more, should she reconsider. It's also essential to reflect on your own feelings and what you're looking for in these interactions, as mismatched expectations can lead to misunderstandings and regret.
