Should we be masculine all the time?

[nelysses]

A girl said me "masculanity opens every locks but if you aren't masculine don't act."
So I have two sides.
One Says You must be masculine and other side says It isn't my character, I'm acting.
So should I be masculine all the time?
I see too many guys that f*cks tooo beatiful girls but they aren't masculine or they haven't too much money.
Like my crush's boyfriend

 

[Dr.Suave]

So should I be masculine all the time?

Not all the time. Only in the presence of girls you want to bang.

 

[nelysses]

Not all the time. Only in the presence of girls you want to bang.

Actually I asked wrong.
right Question is must i be masculine to get her.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

My personal experience says yes. The #1 comment I get from females that I’m involved with is “you’re 100% man, you’re so masculine!” in an approving tone.

Given I’m a Gen X’er this is one of the things that sets me apart from most younger men, who are mostly effeminate.

It’s the little things: when you sit down to order food ask what she wants and order for her. Open doors for her, guide her through them with a hand on her hips or the small of her back, when walking you walk on the curbside. Use silence, and your eyes to communicate. There are so many other ways.Being masculine doesn’t mean be terse or an arsehole which is what it’s associated with.

 

[devilkingx2]

You are sometimes allowed to let her be on top when you get tired.

 

[Black Widow Void]

You are sometimes allowed to let her be on top when you get tired.

I tried this once, and that was when I really....phucked up.
(intended humor for those that get it)

 

[zekko]

You are sometimes allowed to let her be on top when you get tired.

Agree with this. You don't have to act to be masculine, all you have to do is lean into it. You are a man, so it should come naturally to you. Doesn't mean you have to be over the top with it, you don't have to be a stereotypical jackass with every action you do. Just be manly, and it's best to avoid especially signs of weakness. There's nothing to be gained by showing signs of weakness.

 

[Black Widow Void]

With all the internet talk about being "alpha" "incel" etc... I suppose it's no wonder that people are questioning themselves. This seems reasonable.

When it comes to women, my advice is to be comfortable in your own skin.

To my surprise, I've seen artsie, stretchy-jean dudes with black nail polish get women. Did they display masculinity? Certainly not by conventional standards, but they achieved their end result. They put on an image that they liked, they were comfortable with it.. and made friends and attracted the opposite secs.

Personally, I've never been comfortable with conformity. When I tried conformity on for size, I did quite badly. In retrospect, it's easy to understand because I wasn't comfortable in that 'skin.' If I didn't feel right then how could others perceive me as "cool" or worthy of respect? They couldn't.

A few times I've mentioned to girls over the phone that I'm 5.9. They didn't believe me (they'd swear that I must be around 6'0). I wouldn't say that this is because I projected over-masculinity. I'm fairly certain that it's because I project confidence and a belief in myself.

When you are no longer hostage to peer approval, it's like a paradox. The less you care, it seems like the more they will vie for your attention.

 

[nelysses]

With all the internet talk about being "alpha" "incel" etc... I suppose it's no wonder that people are questioning themselves. This seems reasonable.

When it comes to women, my advice is to be comfortable in your own skin.

To my surprise, I've seen artsie, stretchy-jean dudes with black nail polish get women. Did they display masculinity? Certainly not by conventional standards, but they achieved their end result. The put on an image that the liked, they were comfortable with it.. and made friends and attracted the opposite secs.

Personally, I've never been comfortable with conformity. When I tried conformity on for size, I did quite badly. In retrospect, it's easy to understand because I wasn't comfortable in that 'skin.' If I didn't feel right then how could others perceive me as "cool" or worthy of respect? They couldn't.

A few times I've mentioned to girls over the phone that I'm 5.9. They didn't believe me (they'd swear that I must be around 6'0). I wouldn't say that this is because I projected over-masculinity. I'm fairly certain that it's because I project confidence and a belief in myself.

When you are no longer hostage to peer approval, it's like a paradox. The less you care, it seems like the more they will vie for your attention.

Actually it looks what i'm saying.
I try to be masculine but i like speaking too much, making people fun etc.
For example they say don't make fun yourself but I don't see that as a disrespect for myself.
So I don't know

 

[nelysses]

My personal experience says yes. The #1 comment I get from females that I’m involved with is “you’re 100% man, you’re so masculine!” in an approving tone.

Given I’m a Gen X’er this is one of the things that sets me apart from most younger men, who are mostly effeminate.

It’s the little things: when you sit down to order food ask what she wants and order for her. Open doors for her, guide her through them with a hand on her hips or the small of her back, when walking you walk on the curbside. Use silence, and your eyes to communicate. There are so many other ways.Being masculine doesn’t mean be terse or an arsehole which is what it’s associated with.

First of all sorry for my bad english.
I do all of them.
It looks I don't know what is masculanity.
When I say masculine I just think like the guys don't speak, like mafia or bad ass men. No smiling, no talking too much etc.
So it looks my problem isn't masculanity. I just don't know what is it.

When I be myself people say I'm talking too much, I'm laughing every time etc.
One I'm talking with a girl on Instagram and She said me You messaging me every time..
Also The other Woman rejected me and said "I don't have these feelings to you" and also told me "maculanity opens every lock"
So It looks I have to fix something with me like talking tooo much.
I'm behaving like in a comedy show. People laugh but doesn't respect me or doesn't have attention.

Can you please suggest some sources about that, about being masculine.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I doubt you’re doing anything that’s patently wrong. Women can be fickle, they really can look for any reason to reject a man. May I ask what country you and these women are in?

 

[Black Widow Void]

Actually it looks what i'm saying.
I try to be masculine but i like speaking too much, making people fun etc.
For example they say don't make fun yourself but I don't see that as a disrespect for myself.
So I don't know

You are right.

The ability to laugh at oneself and not take yourself too seriously is a good thing. If acknowledged with self-confidence, this actually shows strength and character.

Yes, there's material all over that says that a man should never admit when he's wrong, but you know something? If he's made an obvious mistake and everyone knows it. yet he pretends that he hasn't... it's a sign of weakness and low self-esteem.

The closest thing that I agree with in this area, is if you've made a mistake with a gal... you don't ask for forgiveness. You man up and admit things and then move forward.

 

[Black Widow Void]

It’s the little things: when you sit down to order food ask what she wants and order for her.

I was almost certain to be the last living man to practice this form of etiquette. Women (particularly of culture) really seem to appreciate, if not expect it.

So far, I've had two that acted resentful. I'm sure that it comes as no surprise to anyone that they were the most 'self-centered' in the bedroom.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I tend to date women who are business owners or with strong careers - I have a penchant for trying to get them to let out their feminine side. I’ve had more than one tell me something along the lines of “wow you’re a take charge guy, I did not expect you to order for me, but I like it!”

I love to “tame” difficult women and have them saying things like that above. I’ve had one or two not be sure of me naturally walking on the curb and things like this. My response is “my parents raised me this way”. And they love that tale…

I was almost certain to be the last living man to practice this form of etiquette. Women (particularly of culture) really seem to appreciate, if not expect it.

So far, I've had two that acted resentful. I'm sure that it comes as no surprise to anyone that they were the most 'self-centered' in the bedroom.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

No, if you need a bit of rest you just snap your fingers and have her put in her ball gag.

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

Being masculine is like being an airplane pilot, you either are or you're not.

It's not something that you can turn on/off in the moment.

Also we dont need to act this or act that cause our behaviour, actions and decisions come from a base which should be the same all the time regardless of our effort.

That doesnt mean a man can be a rock 100% of the time, sometime we just need to be lazy or passive especially toward things we dont know yet.

 

[nelysses]

I doubt you’re doing anything that’s patently wrong. Women can be fickle, they really can look for any reason to reject a man. May I ask what country you and these women are in?

I live in Turkey.
Actually at the start of Everything I was too kind and only problem was my shyness.
I fixed it but I saw too many things and I read too much so now I'am not shy but I don't know what is the right one.
I tried not to be shy but this time I became an. arsehole
Then I tried to be a good man, I try to put that girl to centre of my life but Girl didn't want me and now she is with a arsehole.
One girl said me you're talking too much but other one said me it's not a problem for her...

I know I can't make everybody happy but now I don't know who am I or Who should I be or What I want.

 

[Dr.Suave]

You are right, you cant make everybody happy. So you need some IDGAF attitude and make yourself happy

 

[nelysses]

You are right, you cant make everybody happy. So you need some IDGAF attitude and make yourself happy

Actually I'm making myself happy. These things are small part of my life but I have problems with just this.
I'm a med studet and when I graduated I will be a doctor, I makig music, Going gym...
I don't think these things in my life but when it's midnight Devils whisper like "You are alone"

 

[Dr.Suave]

When it's midnight Devils whisper like "You are alone"

Thats not necesarily a bad thing because most modern women are not LTR/Marriage material. Better stay available for if you happen to meet one that is worthy of exclusivity