I’m in deep

[member162951]

Compromising on principle is bad for all involved.

Can you expound on that or should I just read the book?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Can you expound on that or should I just read the book?

How frustrated did I seem in this thread? How frustrated did she seem in this thread? Work through the different scenarios of deviating from your own needs

 

[member162951]

Can you expound on that or should I just read the book?

I just read the summary. He advocates "empathy" using your emotional brain, putting yourself in the other's shoes, and understanding their perspective versus "theory" which imo is much of what redpill is.

I'm gonna pick up the book, the author is a former FBI negotiator, which piques my interest just from that!

But yeah I'm big on empathy and seeing the situation from the other person's side which is why I have always supported how you handled things with your girl..

Again, my posts were directed at @Foe post.

 

[member162951]

How frustrated did I seem in this thread? How frustrated did she seem in this thread? Work through the different scenarios of deviating from your own needs..

Not sure if what's in bold was directed at me, or your "you" was generic, but I wasn't the one trashing on you for how you handled things.

If it's working, I'm actually happy for you, for both of you. Are you?
I am in my relationship.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Not sure if what's in bold was directed at me, or your "you" was generic, but I wasn't the one trashing on you for how you handled things.

If it's working, I'm actually happy for you, for both of you. Are you?
I am in my relationship.

You misread it. You asked for an explanation.

 

[member162951]

You misread it. You asked for an explanation.

Okay I misread/misunderstood, I thought I might have, which is why I posted this:

Not sure if what's in bold was directed at me, or your "you" was generic...

In any event, appreciate the explanation and book recommendation, I just ordered it.

 

[Dr.Suave]

@The Duke @Divorced w 3

At this time, Im suggesting you put each other on Ignore.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Sometimes we as humans make a mess of things out of our own insecurities. I think that is what has happened here, to a great degree.

OP readily admits to disliking being alone, and readily admits that he wants a (+) female influence in the lives of his children.

1. Dislike of being alone is the root issue.
2. Need of female presence for the kids is the rationalization.

Does nobody else see this? To me it’s becoming very clear.

The healthy thing for OP to do is NOT move this woman into his home and learn to go through life with a comfort level being by himself. There is something lacking in OP. It is that lack which creates this dynamic in his relationships (and it was also there in some manifestation with his ex wife.)

Until OP straightens himself out and gets comfortable in his own company he’s going to torch his relationships and make hasty decisions like accepting the first girl who pays attention to him.

He is needy and insecure because of his discomfort being alone, everything else is a band aid for that; the associated drama is the necessary by product and distraction.

Just my $0.02

 

[Divorced w 3]

Advice from the old lady:

Sometimes we as humans make a mess of things out of our own insecurities. I think that is what has happened here, to a great degree.

OP readily admits to disliking being alone, and readily admits that he wants a (+) female influence in the lives of his children.

1. Dislike of being alone is the root issue.
2. Need of female presence for the kids is the rationalization.

Does nobody else see this? To me it’s becoming very clear.

The healthy thing for OP to do is NOT move this woman into his home and learn to go through life with a comfort level being by himself. There is something lacking in OP. It is that lack which creates this dynamic in his relationships (and it was also there in some manifestation with his ex wife.)

Until OP straightens himself out and gets comfortable in his own company he’s going to torch his relationships and make hasty decisions like accepting the first girl who pays attention to him.

He is needy and insecure because of his discomfort being alone, everything else is a band aid for that; the associated drama is the necessary by product and distraction.

Just my $0.02

I think you nailed it. She’s moving in but I agree with you.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Hahahaha, bro she hasn't had a bf in 4 years and she's out approaching dudes at the bar, so In essence she wants male companionship but can't find any, super duper red flag here, a dudes attention is incredibly simple to capture, she literally just had to place herself in front of you and you did the rest... How hard was that? Not hard. So why is she single? Likely ****s with dudes until a conflict arises then the BPD comes out.

 

[member162951]

What the hell happened, dude was banned? I must've missed something.

Oh well, wish him well.

 

[Dr.Suave]

What the hell happened, dude was banned?

One week temp-ban

 

[FMCSMT]

I think you nailed it. She’s moving in but I agree with you.

At first, everything was great…

Then, I got a bad feeling when I wasn’t with her and she didn’t answer.

She broke my rules.

Then, other guys.

Now how do I get her out?

It’s been 1 month and I did see her a few times but I can’t forgive her and I can’t let my kids know I seen her after what happened.

What is wrong with me? Why can’t I let go? I have options…

Signed, your future self.

I have drawn this picture for you because it is what happens to guys like you.

Please consider your future self.

 

[member162951]

At first, everything was great…

Then, I got a bad feeling when I wasn’t with her and she didn’t answer.

She broke my rules.

Then, other guys.

Now how do I get her out?

It’s been 1 month and I did see her a few times but I can’t forgive her and I can’t let my kids know I seen her after what happened.

What is wrong with me? Why can’t I let go? I have options…

Signed, your future self.

I have drawn this picture for you because it is what happens to guys like you.

Please consider your future self.

Give it a rest why dont ya, geez man. Dw3 isn't even here to respond (defend his decision), he's been temp-banned per @Dr.Suave last post.

No one knows the 'ins and outs' of their relationship but the two of them, if it turns out to be a mistake, so be, just like everything else we experience in life.

 

[Divorced w 3]

At first, everything was great…

Then, I got a bad feeling when I wasn’t with her and she didn’t answer.

She broke my rules.

Then, other guys.

Now how do I get her out?

It’s been 1 month and I did see her a few times but I can’t forgive her and I can’t let my kids know I seen her after what happened.

What is wrong with me? Why can’t I let go? I have options…

Signed, your future self.

I have drawn this picture for you because it is what happens to guys like you.

Please consider your future self.

I read your work while I was in solitary… I would consider the source if I was anyone following what this cat is saying.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

FYI @Dw3, your gf has got her own thread running on another forum. It sounds like you anyway.

The timing matches up to what you've posted, when you met, casual for months as youbqere going thrthen going exclusive.

. She talks about how much she was there for you during your divorce, her involvement with your kids and how

much you appreciate that and

You are way too involved in these forums to be picking up on this kind of stuff...holy cannoli.

 

[Divorced w 3]

FYI @Dw3, your gf has got her own thread running on another forum. It sounds like you anyway.

The timing matches up to what you've posted, when you met, casual for months as you were going through divorce, then going exclusive. The dates match up.

She talks about how much she was there for you during your divorce, her involvement with your young kids and how much they love her and she loves them. How much you need her help with that and appreciate it.

She spins a bit of a different story though so not 100% sure.

Just thought you should know.

Good for her. Hope she finds what she’s looking for.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yeah I know the story is different but the timing and your kids matches, whatever.

So good, it's not you, that's settles that.

Like I said, I am too involved in some of these threads, owning it, my bad.

The timing is not remotely close nor is the situation with my children.

 

[member162951]

I've deleted all my posts on this.

Take care guys...moving on.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Wait...you ended up going thru all this, having he move in and then like a week later it's done?

Is that what I am understanding?