Just had a promising plate tell me, "I have a boyfriend"

[Bokanovsky]

I think one word, and a little inflection, would have done the job for you:

“And?”

In this day and age, the most appropriate response would be: "So do I"

 

[MatureDJ]

Unless you are really rich, you are not likely to get a woman more than 5 years younger. At your age, even 15 years younger is 40+.



Younger woman don't want the wrinkly balls of a guy nearing age 60 unless he has a lot of money.

If I'm forced on dating women only within 5 years of my age, I don't feel like continuing to mack.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If I'm forced on dating women only within 5 years of my age, I don't feel like continuing to mack.

Come on, you're not that old.

 

[MatureDJ]

In this day and age, the most appropriate response would be: "So do I"

I'm sorry, I just think that trying to play off her responding with this just makes the man look desperate. Does Chad take that attitude that he has to somehow game her to make her forget about her "boyfriend", or does he just move on to the next plate?

 

[MatureDJ]

Come on, you're not that old.

I find myself only attracted to women that are still fertile.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I'm sorry, I just think that trying to play off her responding with this just makes the man look desperate. Does Chad take that attitude that he has to somehow game her to make her forget about her "boyfriend", or does he just move on to the next plate?

I was being sarcastic.

 

[Mike32ct]

What made the “plate” initially seem promising as noted in the title?

Did the first part of the conversation go well?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

So folks here say that after I get this response to me asking her if she's like to get together sometime, I should continue to spend time talking to her, to the detriment of working on another plate?

No, you should realise when she's 'not interested' versus 'playing coy'. Not every woman who uses IHAB is 'not interested', some are just using it to bolster their own resistance against their own desires.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Women tend to communicate indirectly, you shouldn't take everything they say at face value.

If you're skilled and understand enough about female psychology, you can easily circumvent statements like 'I have a boyfriend' or 'I don't know you that well' or 'I don't put out at the first date' or 'I think we should slow down'. If you understand why they serve up those statements, you counter not the words she says, but the reason she says them.

Like I showed in the dialogue in my other post. She's getting aroused, but she's worried about the control you will have if you realise that, so she throws in a fake deterrent: I have a boyfriend.
What does that mean? Don't think about the words, think about what she's trying to do. Confront her about what she's trying to do, not the statement itself. Women will throw around IHAB whether they have a boyfriend or not. That's not the issue, the issue is why does she feel the need to throw out that statement.

Actually, this belongs in the Mature forum, I think.

 

[BeExcellent]

No, you should realise when she's 'not interested' versus 'playing coy'. Not every woman who uses IHAB is 'not interested', some are just using it to bolster their own resistance against their own desires.

Correct. Your job, Don Juan is to know the difference.

 

[MatureDJ]

No, you should realise when she's 'not interested' versus 'playing coy'. Not every woman who uses IHAB is 'not interested', some are just using it to bolster their own resistance against their own desires.

OK, I will adjust my statement. If there seems to be some IOI from the plate, then you should presume it's just a game and continue on. For my particular instance, other than having a good conversation, I did not get an IOI; I guess my prowess in DialogGame makes me think I'm wowing women more than I actually am. DialogGame is simply JesterGame without making a fool of oneself.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

OK, I will adjust my statement. If there seems to be some IOI from the plate, then you should presume it's just a game and continue on. For my particular instance, other than having a good conversation, I did not get an IOI; I guess my prowess in DialogGame makes me think I'm wowing women more than I actually am.

Everything is an opportunity to learn.

Why do you think women enjoy being wooed by words? Because men who are verbally facile are rare and desired. If you can emote a woman with your words, you can penetrate her mind. But only if you can quell your thirst to penetrate her body.

 

[Bethatsocialguy]

So she made up she had boyfriend? why do you think she did that? What do you think you were missing in order for her to see you as a potential partner?

 

[Manure Spherian]

Unless you are really rich, you are not likely to get a woman more than 5 years younger. At your age, even 15 years younger is 40+.

You put a lot of stipulations on what can be done and who is attracted to who. I don’t really care that you do and it’s not a criticism, but it appears to be a common theme about locations, ages, and statuses. Eg: “X people of X location of X demographic of X age of X income can only do X and attract only X.”

Do you know or spend time with lots of people?

 

[Manure Spherian]

I understand that you're bummed out, but since boyfriends rarely factor into whether a girl will sleep with you, she just throws out the IHAB because she knows that will stop you from pursuing her.

I was with a young woman that came over to my home to buy a vintage typewriter. I wasn't flirting with her, but showing her a few typewriters within her budget, when she told me IHAB.
I stopped and looked her over, then said, "Why are you having those thoughts about me?"
"What thoughts?"
I shrugged. "The type of thoughts that urge you to tell yourself you're unavailable."
"I think I was telling it to you, not myself."
"I didn't ask," I said. "I never ask. You were telling that to yourself, but you don't believe it, so you voiced it out loud."
She blinked at that. "I don't believe what? I have a boyfriend."
"Of course you do. But that's not the reason why you voiced that out loud. Your thoughts took you in a direction that urged you to state your relationship status."
"What thoughts?"
I smiled at her. "The naughty ones. You're a little afraid of them and since you feel I could make them a reality you blurt out your relationship status. To shield your feelings from revealing your desires."
She didn't know how to respond to that.
"It's fine." I turned back to the typewriter I was showing her. "You successfully thwarted my imaginary advances."
"I did?"
"Yes. There is no way in hell that I'm going to hit on you now."
She giggled at that. "Maybe I want you to hit on me."
"No," I said. "You know that men like me aren't boyfriend material, so the boyfriend line was defensive. Maybe you think it would be exciting to explore your dark desires, but you're not ready yet."
"So, should I call you when I am?"
"You have my number," I replied. "Shall we continue with the typewriters now?"

She's one of my kittens now. I still don't know if she has a boyfriend or not. Not my problem.

That’s great psychological acuity, something I think is lost in Gen Z.

 

[SW15]

If I'm forced on dating women only within 5 years of my age, I don't feel like continuing to mack.

Those would be your most likely prospects if you were still in the United States, especially with your height. Being in Eastern Europe might help a bit more.

You put a lot of stipulations on what can be done and who is attracted to who. I don’t really care that you do and it’s not a criticism, but it appears to be a common theme about locations, ages, and statuses. Eg: “X people of X location of X demographic of X age of X income can only do X and attract only X.”

Do you know or spend time with lots of people?

I do spend a decent amount of time with people. It must be pointed out that no one's social circle is a representative sample. Broader quantitative data is more meaningful than much of what I would be able to observe with people I meet/people I know in the real world.

My commentary is based on a mix of quantitative data and qualitative observations.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Of course, it was complete baloney.

It's OVER for AlreadyHaveABoyfriendCels.

How many times did you fvck her before she said that?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

That’s great psychological acuity, something I think is lost in Gen Z.

I think it's lost to thirsty men that women enjoy being teased.

This is one of the reasons I don't give advice on how to pick up women, because my way is not a 'frame' or even 'abundance mindset' or whatever PUA technique comes to mind. Of course you can go over my dialogue and go like 'there he push-pulled' or 'telling her she wasn't ready is clearly a neg' or whatever, but that's an analysis that misses the point.

I'm not following some strategy, I have presence of mind and I'm fully in the moment, so I don't react, I respond. That difference mostly gets lost on most people, because their thinking is too crude, too basic. And many of them don't care enough to change what works for them, or what they think works for them. And there's nothing in it for me to change their minds.

That's why I don't give courses or seminars. I don't need money and I don't learn anything from that. I learn enough just from reading these boards to give me a reason to stay, but not enough to teach.

 

[SW15]

Plenty of women falsely claim that they have a boyfriend. Using that line is a sign of low to mediocre interest. Every man should push back on the boyfriend line with their own boyfriend destroyer line.

 

[pipeman84]

I was with a young woman that came over to my home to buy a vintage typewriter. I wasn't flirting with her, but showing her a few typewriters within her budget, when she told me IHAB.
I stopped and looked her over, then said, "Why are you having those thoughts about me?"
"What thoughts?"
I shrugged. "The type of thoughts that urge you to tell yourself you're unavailable."
"I think I was telling it to you, not myself."
"I didn't ask," I said. "I never ask. You were telling that to yourself, but you don't believe it, so you voiced it out loud."
She blinked at that. "I don't believe what? I have a boyfriend."
"Of course you do. But that's not the reason why you voiced that out loud. Your thoughts took you in a direction that urged you to state your relationship status."
"What thoughts?"
I smiled at her. "The naughty ones. You're a little afraid of them and since you feel I could make them a reality you blurt out your relationship status. To shield your feelings from revealing your desires."
She didn't know how to respond to that.
"It's fine." I turned back to the typewriter I was showing her. "You successfully thwarted my imaginary advances."
"I did?"
"Yes. There is no way in hell that I'm going to hit on you now."
She giggled at that. "Maybe I want you to hit on me."
"No," I said. "You know that men like me aren't boyfriend material, so the boyfriend line was defensive. Maybe you think it would be exciting to explore your dark desires, but you're not ready yet."
"So, should I call you when I am?"
"You have my number," I replied. "Shall we continue with the typewriters now?"

She's one of my kittens now. I still don't know if she has a boyfriend or not. Not my problem.

Firstly, that sounds like a film scenario or a paragraph from a novel ... a woman coming into your house on a business matter and offering herself to you like that.
Secondly, she's not only a hoe, but presumably a cheating hoe too. Not many guys would be able to hide their disgust and continue that silly word play.