Weird/Mixed Signals...

[Ottocinclus]

Just joined this Forum after deciding to work on social skills and "game" for 2024. And wouldn't you know it: right when I get into this stuff an interesting situation pops up. I probably shouldn't be wasting time (over)analyzing "chick behavior," but I'd like your guys' take on this.

I'm a surfer. While walking across the parking lot toward the beach, I spot a girl giving me the "look." She held her gaze into my eyes the whole time. I should have went over to her, but I just waved. She didn't say anything or wave back, so I kept walking. She just kept staring though LOL and I got this vibe like she wouldn't speak to me anyway (I guess I was right; see next paragraph).

A couple days later I'm walking up the path from the beach to the parking lot. I turn a corner and boom! there she is right in front of me changing out of her wetsuit. She gives me the "look" again. I say "Hey!" and am about the reach out my hand and ask her name, but she immediately looks down at the ground and stays there. It got awkward, so I kept walking.

This really took me by surprise since, even though we're both "locals," she's always completely ignored me out on the water. Of course, she's very chatty with other dudes in the lineup. I've been coming to this spot consistently for quite a while. You'd think we'd be on speaking terms after all this time at least.

Now I catch her looking at me from a distance. She even giggles to herself if I say something funny, fall off my surfboard, etc. Seems awkward to try and talk to her though. She won't surf anywhere near me most of the time and will often just turn her back toward me when she is near. I saw her again in the parking lot the other day, and she just looked down at the ground until I passed. Definitely no eye stuff this time.

Anyway, this is getting too long, but does anybody have any idea what the heck is going on here?

 

[MatureDJ]

The men she chats up are considered at a higher tier than you. How short are you? BTW, I used to BoogieBoard at Balboa Beach, LOL.

It's OVER for IgnoredSurferCels.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Just joined this Forum after deciding to work on social skills and "game" for 2024. And wouldn't you know it: right when I get into this stuff an interesting situation pops up. I probably shouldn't be wasting time (over)analyzing "chick behavior," but I'd like your guys' take on this.

I'm a surfer. While walking across the parking lot toward the beach, I spot a girl giving me the "look." She held her gaze into my eyes the whole time. I should have went over to her, but I just waved. She didn't say anything or wave back, so I kept walking. She just kept staring though LOL and I got this vibe like she wouldn't speak to me anyway (I guess I was right; see next paragraph).

A couple days later I'm walking up the path from the beach to the parking lot. I turn a corner and boom! there she is right in front of me changing out of her wetsuit. She gives me the "look" again. I say "Hey!" and am about the reach out my hand and ask her name, but she immediately looks down at the ground and stays there. It got awkward, so I kept walking.

This really took me by surprise since, even though we're both "locals," she's always completely ignored me out on the water. Of course, she's very chatty with other dudes in the lineup. I've been coming to this spot consistently for quite a while. You'd think we'd be on speaking terms after all this time at least.

Now I catch her looking at me from a distance. She even giggles to herself if I say something funny, fall off my surfboard, etc. Seems awkward to try and talk to her though. She won't surf anywhere near me most of the time and will often just turn her back toward me when she is near. I saw her again in the parking lot the other day, and she just looked down at the ground until I passed. Definitely no eye stuff this time.

Anyway, this is getting too long, but does anybody have any idea what the heck is going on here?

How old is this girl ? if your in your 50's I would like to think she is at least in her 40's

You're both a little bit old In the tooth for these playground games , just be a man and go and talk to her

Guys make so many dumb assumptions and preconceptions about girls without really knowing anything about them

 

[Dr.Suave]

What the heck is going on here?

It could be many things, No point trying to figure it out. Spin more plates and welcome to SoSuave

 

[Ottocinclus]

How old is this girl ? if your in your 50's I would like to think she is at least in her 40's

You're both a little bit old In the tooth for these playground games , just be a man and go and talk to her

Guys make so many dumb assumptions and preconceptions about girls without really knowing anything about them

I know I'm too old for these "games," but her behavior is so strange that I just want to get an idea of what's going on.

She seems somewhere between mid 20s to mid 30s. One thing about me: I look *really* young for my age for some reason, like about 15-20 years younger. I'm not exaggerating; people always look at me funny for a second when I tell them how old I am. I suspect, though, that she might be older than she looks too. She's hot with good genes (and a really good surfer too).

I'm going to attempt to talk to her, but she just looks so uncomfortable and standoffish when I'm around that I can't really see an "in." I posted this on another forum, and one of the more respected dudes said that it's likely that she's really attracted to me but has a boyfriend, and that she just gives in and messes with me now and then because I'm around her all the time. But who knows.

 

[Ottocinclus]

It could be many things, No point trying to figure it out. Spin more plates and welcome to SoSuave

Yeah, I've been trying to chat more people up. I'm coming out of a "hibernation" phase. I pretty much didn't socialize (except through work and surfing) all through the Pandemic, and now I'm trying to get back out there.

 

[SW15]

Welcome to the forum @Ottocinclus !

Mixed signals are always a bad thing. If you find yourself thinking or saying those words, the outcome is usually bad. Bail on the situation.

If she's between 25-35 and you're 51, she would find out sooner or later that you're 51 and she's going to expect that you're rich. To get a 10+ year age gap, you generally need to be rich. You might be able to pull some younger women based on being 51 and looking substantially younger than 51.

I would do what @Dr.Suave says and pretend she doesn't exist, move on from the interaction, and spin more plates.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I know I'm too old for these "games," but her behavior is so strange that I just want to get an idea of what's going on.

She seems somewhere between mid 20s to mid 30s. One thing about me: I look *really* young for my age for some reason, like about 15-20 years younger. I'm not exaggerating; people always look at me funny for a second when I tell them how old I am. I suspect, though, that she might be older than she looks too. She's hot with good genes (and a really good surfer too).

I'm going to attempt to talk to her, but she just looks so uncomfortable and standoffish when I'm around that I can't really see an "in." I posted this on another forum, and one of the more respected dudes said that it's likely that she's really attracted to me but has a boyfriend, and that she just gives in and messes with me now and then because I'm around her all the time. But who knows.

20 years is really too much of a gap , although older men romanticise the idea of young poon swooning over them the reality is on a very small portion of women in their 20's & 30's are going to want to be involved with a 50 year old Normie unless theres a lot of money & status involved or they have a PO*N style fetish for older d1ck again rare

Personally I wouldn't get too excited by all means approach her and get a better sense of the situation but don't start writing a romance novel in your mind

 

[pipeman84]

First time she looks at you, you wave and she ignores you. Second time she looks at you, you say Hi, she ignores you.
IMO this woman has mental issues and I would stop giving her any attention and just pretend she doesn't exist.

 

[RangerMIke]

20 years is really too much of a gap , although older men romanticise the idea of young poon swooning over them the reality is on a very small portion of women in their 20's & 30's are going to want to be involved with a 50 year old Normie unless theres a lot of money & status involved or they have a PO*N style fetish for older d1ck again rare

Too many unknown variables. But if there is a big age gap then yes... this is a typical response.

I'm in my mid-50s, and when I get indicators of attraction from much younger women, I just ignore it. It's much more likely you remind her of her dad or an uncle than real interest. There is a VERY small percentage of younger women who are into older guys and when you run across one of these, they typically make it very clear they are interested. A lot of the stuff you hear on this site about eye contact, and body language signals does not apply when you are a much older man and a younger woman.

If you look 20 years older than a woman then this is a fairly good gauge. But if a woman looks like she could be your daughter then normal interaction should not be expected.

But good on the OP actually trying to engage, because you just don't know for sure unless you try. If after that she recoils, then just save yourself some embarrassment or create an uncomfortable situation and just walk away and forget about her.

 

[RangerMIke]

The best indicators are her touching you. If a young woman sits close to you and touches your arm / hand a lot, it's a strong indicator. Longing looks from afar don't mean much. Even then, it's best to stay cool and let her qualify her intentions before you show any interest.

Yep they make it very clear... and you would have to be an idiot if you don't notice this.

 

[Ottocinclus]

If she's young, she's probably shy about approaching a 'Daddy'.

I doubt I give off "Daddy" vibes yet. 20- and 30-somethings are like 90% of what's showing interest when I go out. I still get asked for ID sometimes when I buy alcohol. I'm leaning more toward the has-a-boyfriend-already theory. I guess I'll find out sooner or later.

 

[Redwood]

Ignore her and focus on something else.

 

[Ottocinclus]

First time she looks at you, you wave and she ignores you. Second time she looks at you, you say Hi, she ignores you.
IMO this woman has mental issues and I would stop giving her any attention and just pretend she doesn't exist.

I forgot to mention that during the first encounter she actually started to walk toward me but then suddenly stopped, like she was "reeling" herself back in.

 

[Ottocinclus]

Too many unknown variables. But if there is a big age gap then yes... this is a typical response.

I'm in my mid-50s, and when I get indicators of attraction from much younger women, I just ignore it. It's much more likely you remind her of her dad or an uncle than real interest. There is a VERY small percentage of younger women who are into older guys and when you run across one of these, they typically make it very clear they are interested. A lot of the stuff you hear on this site about eye contact, and body language signals does not apply when you are a much older man and a younger woman.

If you look 20 years older than a woman then this is a fairly good gauge. But if a woman looks like she could be your daughter then normal interaction should not be expected.

But good on the OP actually trying to engage, because you just don't know for sure unless you try. If after that she recoils, then just save yourself some embarrassment or create an uncomfortable situation and just walk away and forget about her.

Her age is only my estimate. She could be older, and I'm pretty sure she thinks (like everybody else I've talked to at the beach) that I'm much younger. She talks to the other (much) older dudes at the beach anyway. She's super chatty with others in general.

 

[Ottocinclus]

I agree with @RangerMIke on this. Regular 'flirting' signals don't mean much.

The best indicators are her touching you. If a young woman sits close to you and touches your arm / hand a lot, it's a strong indicator. Longing looks from afar don't mean much. Even then, it's best to stay cool and let her qualify her intentions before you show any interest.

Be a Daddy, not a sugar daddy.

Yeah, I'm just playing it cool for now but will jump at the first opportunity to talk to her. Even if there's nothing there, I can always use more surfer buddies.

 

[RangerMIke]

Her age is only my estimate. She could be older, and I'm pretty sure she thinks (like everybody else I've talked to at the beach) that I'm much younger. She talks to the other (much) older dudes at the beach anyway. She's super chatty with others in general.

That is why I said 'appears'. I agree, when you first meet someone you not know someone's actual age. To a woman, if she appears to be in her late 30s, but looks like she is in her late 20s... in her mind she is in her late 20s. If a man is in his mid-50s, but can pass for someone in their mid-40s... then she will take that at face value and assume you are what you appear.

This actually happens to me quite a bit, I can pass for someone 10 years younger and when a woman finds out my actual age... poof... if that is a problem for her she is gone. Which is fine, it is what it is. You can't control what a woman wants if you don't have it.

 

[Ottocinclus]

UPDATE:

I pretty much forgot about her, but I guess "she's back."

She paddled up to me and started talking out of the blue like she kinda knew me already. I had never actually spoken to her before. The next day I see her waxing her board in the parking lot as I was walking by. She just started talking loudly, like she was calling me over. I stopped and chatted for a bit. I was tempted to ask for her number, but she wasn't facing me; she had her side toward me and was mostly focused on what she was doing and seemed kinda "guarded."

In both instances she cut the conversation short even though she started them. I can tell she seemed surprised by the way that I spoke. I said something funny, and I could tell she was trying to hold herself back from laughing, like she didn't want to give me the satisfaction of making her laugh.

I think she's older than I thought she was now that I've seen her up close. She's just in really good shape with a teenager's body (all that surfing I guess). Anyway, I get game-player vibes, but I'll play along and see where this goes. I saw her last weekend, and I'll probably see her again this weekend.

 

[SW15]

I saw her last weekend, and I'll probably see her again this weekend.

Get her out on a date. Then, get her back to your place.

 

[Ottocinclus]

Get her out on a date. Then, get her back to your place.

That's the plan, but she just confuses me. Maybe I'm just wasting my time here, but I'll go for it and just forget about her if there is any more weirdness.