Whats the point of a first date?

[sosuave213]

And how do you stop pedestalizing women such that if a first date goes well, you don't start thinking about her every day?

In fact how do you get the desire to keep dating other women when such a date goes well?

 

[Stanley]

In a general sense i'd argue there are two categories as a motivator for a first date. One, You want to seek out compatibility romantically for a relationship or two, are simply looking for sex as the successful outcome with this individual.

How to stop pedestalizing women?

-Humanize them
-Be abundant internally and externally (this doesn't mean just have women)
-Have other priorities in life which occupy your time
-Have proximate and long-term goals entirely separate from dating/sex
-Be content on your own and view a relationship as a nice addition or supplement, but you do not need it.
-Kill desperation and outcome dependence

If you enjoyed a date and want to pursue one women that isn't wrong, BUT oftentimes the prescription to looming oneitis is having other 'potentials' on the periphery. Whatever you do make sure to move slowly, rationally and do your best to not idealize a single girl... That will lead back to putting ***** on the pedestal. Remember, you don't have to spin plates or date non exclusively if you personally don't resonate with that.

If you find yourself fixated on a girl and she occupies your thoughts constantly that's when you have to remove yourself from your feelings and become objective with them.

-Why do I like this girl so much?
-Do I even really know her well enough to feel this way? (you don't)
-Am I deep in it based off emotion and not logic?
-Am in a low state of mind and looking to fill a void with a woman?
-Am I ignoring clear signs of incompatibility?
etc....

If that approach isn't enough you could always list the negative qualities you've witnessed so far and potential red flags that will keep you grounded and more objective.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I had planned to offer a response, but after reading the above posting by Stanley, I think he covered all the bases (and better than I could articulate).

 

[SargeMaximus]

For me the point of a first date is to see how goood the sex is

 

[NealIRC]

If the point of a 1st date is to go to a 2nd date, or sex, and if there is no point to a 1st date, then there is no point to the aftermath things.

Well, I don't date girls, I instead, spit game to them.

 

[The Duke]

If you will learn to approach dating like women do, you will beat them at their own game every time.

Do you want to win, or continue losing by making mistakes?

It really boils down to controlling your emotions and tapping the brakes with some logical common sense. Step outside your own silly hamster wheel and take stock of what's going on.

The point of a first date is to make a connection, find commonalities, be playful, draw her attention to you, create tingles, seduce, and leave her wanting more.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Vetting and qualifying. Think of it like a first round interview.

 

[Divorced w 3]

First date is a place where you can isolate each other in a fun, low key way and enjoy each others company and ask her questions without revealing a whole lot about yourself. It also serves as a great experience for trial and error, and reinforces your belief that you’re desirable

 

[Manure Spherian]

you don't start thinking about her every day?

By realizing you’re not fifteen years old and she is not your wife or mother of your children and that a first date means nothing.

Besides, even husbands don’t think of their women all freaking day!

 

[The Duke]

Vetting and qualifying. Think of it like a first round interview.

I think some might take the literal definition of what you said. No chic wants to go on an "interview" for a first date where she is asked personal questions about her life.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I think some might take the literal definition of what you said. No chic wants to go on an "interview" for a first date where she is asked personal questions about her life.

So what are y'all doing on first dates then?

 

[SW15]

The purpose is either sex or a 2nd date

 

[Dr.Suave]

I havent read the other replies so I apologize if Im repeting stuff here. If you met on Swipe Apps, the point of the 1st date is to establish if she passes the boner test irl. If you got catfished, she probably wont pass the test.

Once she has passed the boner test, the point is to decide if you put her in the "No exclusivity/ Recreational use only/Plate status only" Zone or a different zone. But sometimes it might take more than one date to decide if she´s for the streets or LTR worthy. Bonus points if you get in her pants on the first date. Most modern women belong in the first zone I mentioned, but hopefully you find a needle in a haystack.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

To see if you two are compatible.

 

[The Duke]

So what are y'all doing on first dates then?

Exactly what I posted above your post. lol obviously you didn't read.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Exactly what I posted above your post. lol obviously you didn't read.

Ah I see it now. TBH, I don't think you can out woman a woman in the dating game and playing her silly tingle fuzzy wuzzy games will put you in a bad situation later on. Yes, you will get laid or a half-assed LTR, but eventually the line will cross and you will lose the woman game to her and come back here crying about the red pill or mgtow lol. I weed out the girls looking for the tingles or the spark pretty easily and end up with women that are serious about dating. However, if you are sex focused then my method is hard to do because you will weed out women that you find attractive or easy lays too.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

First dates are about
#1 testing chemistry
#2 seeing if she will disqualify you (and you qualify her) by showing your sense of humor
#3 vetting, but you can do this stealthily without making it an interview. Get a girl to talk about herself enough and her character and values will show. Don't even answer her questions if you don't want to, you can ignore them or just change the subject to her again.

 

[Jor-El]

Well. If you are meeting up with a new woman,label it up how you like but whatever you do is a first date really...there has to be some point of "first contact face to face" choose what you call it

 

[SW15]

The point of a first date is to make a connection, find commonalities, be playful, draw her attention to you, create tingles, seduce, and leave her wanting more.

Yes

 

[RangerMIke]

The purpose of the first date is to gauge compatibility and test her interest and determine if you is open and available. That is it. Sometimes a first date leads to sex, and that's great, but that isn't the purpose, it is just an indicator that she is very attracted to you. If you don't expect it then you won't be disappointed if it doesn't happen.

If you are looking for a relationship... then it is just one step in the process to see if the woman fits into your life like a puzzle piece.

If you are just looking for sex... well... just hire a prostitute... it can be cheaper than an expensive date and you are going to get exactly what you want, guaranteed.