Men Should Stay On Dating Apps Even When In An LTR

[soulforge]

Only under the following circumstance..

If the girl you have committed to, is still all over social media, then without a doubt she is keeping her options open, by placing herself in a position where she can meet other men.

Remember, girls rarely approach men.. The female mating strategy is simply putting herself in positions/circumstances/environments where men can approach her. This is how woman generally meet/date men.

If you as a man have dropped all your plates for an LTR & you no longer approach or no longer have dating apps on your phone, then essentially you are completely OUT of the dating game.

However if you're girl is still on Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, she is still available & present on the dating market.

Your options are closed (lack of abundance)

Her options are still open (abundance mindset)

Who do you think is going to come up top under these unfair circumstances? It isn't going to be you, that's a fact.

If you're girlfriend is on Instagram which happens to be the worlds biggest dating app, then you should install Bumble onto your phone immediately.

This will level the playing field.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Well. You should not commit to women that are big on social media to begin with. Meaning they have a public profile and care about obtaining more followers (orbiters!). I don’t think it is reasonable to demand she delete all social media profiles.

This whole exercise in the OP seems a bit unnecessary. It takes 15 minutes to create a dating profile online. If the relationship goes south it’s not a big deal to “get back out there.” In the meantime, actively sourcing and pursuing new chicks while in a relationship just takes time and investment away from the relationship you are trying to build with your girlfriend.

 

[The Duke]

So if a girl uses Instagram for dating options while in a relationship, then can't you too?

 

[soulforge]

Well. You should not commit to women that are big on social media to begin with. Meaning they have a public profile and care about obtaining more followers (orbiters!). I don’t think it is reasonable to demand she delete all social media profiles.

This whole exercise in the OP seems a bit unnecessary. It takes 15 minutes to create a dating profile online. If the relationship goes south it’s not a big deal to “get back out there.” In the meantime, actively sourcing and pursuing new chicks while in a relationship just takes time and investment away from the relationship you are trying to build with your girlfriend.

I understand what you're saying, in the ideal world.. however people like me and you have the NUTS to tell a girl to delete all her social media if she wants a relationship, unfortunately most men don't have the guts or the balls to demand this from a girl.

And MOST girls these days will refuse to come off Social Media... Ok fair enough.

You remain on Social Media (her dating strategy is still open) and I remain on Bumble, therefore my dating strategy is still open.

We are now equals and have equality.

As for installing the dating apps if the relationship goes South? Why wait till then.

The fact is, while in a relationship the dude has cut off his entire network to meet girls, while she still has all the abundance in the world, the dude loses every fvking time.

The way I see it is, these are the only options available to men.

01. She refuses to remove her social media, YOU refuse to delete bumble

02. Don't LTR girls who are heavy on Social Media

03. You both compromise, and both remove yourselves from the dating market.

 

[soulforge]

So if a girl uses Instagram for dating options while in a relationship, then can't you too?

In what way, Instagram for most men brings zero results in the form of actually meeting girls. Approaching girls or dating apps are a little more effective.

 

[Vantagepoint34]

Tik tok seems like a good place to try new 'game'

 

[SW15]

I'm not sure about staying on dating apps but there's a good case to be made for continuing to approach and find new prospects. Doing some daygame and nightgame approaches might be the solution. This can help with abundance mentality.

 

[The Duke]

In what way, Instagram for most men brings zero results in the form of actually meeting girls. Approaching girls or dating apps are a little more effective.

I've never used Instagram so I had no idea if it could be effective. I was just thinking that if it's effective for women to use for dating purposes then there would need to be men. In order for one(women) to be successful, their would need to be a supply(men). As you explained, it's less effective for a man than other options.

 

[The Duke]

I wouldn't be in a committed relationship if I had to worry if my chic was behaving herself. You have picked the wrong girl.

But let's say you are. A good way to keep her on her toes is for you to go out to bars and flirt with women. I'd say it would have far more of an impact on her than being on a dating app.

I've done it in relationships not because I was worried, but because I wanted to. It was highly effective and conveyed to them that I was a man of options. Even if I didn't talk to girls when I went out, my gf would always assume I did. They project their own interactions with men and assume it works the same for guys. Little do they know. Most of us don't have random girls walking up asking for our numbers. But I swear it doesn't take much for a women to think that way.

 

[Gamisch]

Well. You should not commit to women that are big on social media to begin with. Meaning they have a public profile and care about obtaining more followers (orbiters!). I don’t think it is reasonable to demand she delete all social media profiles.

This whole exercise in the OP seems a bit unnecessary. It takes 15 minutes to create a dating profile online. If the relationship goes south it’s not a big deal to “get back out there.” In the meantime, actively sourcing and pursuing new chicks while in a relationship just takes time and investment away from the relationship you are trying to build with your girlfriend.

The whioe point is that you give out a certain energy. Even if you are on the apps without actually using them. I remember feeling like I was a " Johnny come lately " whenever i reinstalled OLD when the relationship was already dead. Cognitive dissonance or not, you'll have to face the truth some day ...

It comes down to being somewhat of a azzhole( in the eyes of the bluepilled man).

If you meet a woman through OLD, there's a 99% chance ahe has Instagram. I'd aay almost every woman nowadays has Instagram. You need to be like 6 points above her smv if you want to force her to delete the apps.

By keeping YOUR options open you keep that edge. That edge that most of us git ris if because of " honest and open relationship with great communication "( which lead ALL OF US HERE ,to the sosauve university!!!)

I'd even say that the extreme version of this take is something like: keep a side piece/feck around if you can/ ALWAYS run game like you are single and just came out of jail.

 

[soulforge]

Well. You should not commit to women that are big on social media to begin with. Meaning they have a public profile and care about obtaining more followers (orbiters!). I don’t think it is reasonable to demand she delete all social media profiles.

This whole exercise in the OP seems a bit unnecessary. It takes 15 minutes to create a dating profile online. If the relationship goes south it’s not a big deal to “get back out there.” In the meantime, actively sourcing and pursuing new chicks while in a relationship just takes time and investment away from the relationship you are trying to build with your girlfriend.

I've never used Instagram so I had no idea if it could be effective. I was just thinking that if it's effective for women to use for dating purposes then there would need to be men. In order for one(women) to be successful, their would need to be a supply(men). As you explained, it's less effective for a man than other options.

Instagram is only effective for the "top tier" men, who have fantastic profile's, excellent pictures, in brilliant shape or they are some type of influencer or celebrety.

You're average guy is well out of his league in Instagram. Most men will be better positioned approaching girls or dating apps, while his girlfriend is on Instagram getting DM'd by top tier guys.

 

[soulforge]

I'm not sure about staying on dating apps but there's a good case to be made for continuing to approach and find new prospects. Doing some daygame and nightgame approaches might be the solution. This can help with abundance mentality.

Whats wrong with the dating apps?

I mean your LTR is waking up every morning with 50 proposals in her Instagram, yes she will likely reject most of them, but her mindset will always be of abundance and the comforting feeling of if/when things go South with you, she can turn to a ton of other men.

Who will have the edge in the relationship

The person operating in scarcity due to cutting themselves out completely from the dating market or the girl who is having options thrown in her face daily?

As for approaches day/night game, yes there is definitely validity to what your suggesting, however while in an LTR it's going to be more difficult/complex to go out doing night game etc, especially if you are spending weekends with her.

 

[Gamisch]

Instagram is only effective for the "top tier" men, who have fantastic profile's, excellent pictures, in brilliant shape or they are some type of influencer or celebrety.

You're average guy is well out of his league in Instagram. Most men will be better positioned approaching girls or dating apps, while his girlfriend is on Instagram getting DM'd by top tier guys.

I bet that most men older than 35 never been with women through Instagram.

Late bloomers, how did you internalize being the prize?

How did you internalize being the prize? I've been fat and broke, with some fun for more than 30 years. In the last 2 years I've become top 5% income earner in my age bracket for household my city physique I'd say top 10% or 20% Idk and getting better everyday. However, my mindset still hasn't...

www.sosuave.net

This thread kinda shows why "top tier"dudes are still chasing your girl. Very few men really believe they are worthy.

 

[Solomon]

Any man who ever has dated a beautiful woman knows that they will always get hit on. Guess what men will approach her in person (or online)heck men would even approach her while she is with you (had this happen and she ended up slapping the ISH outta the dude funny story). The reality is there are men who don't care about the "Bro Code" and some don't have boundaries. If a woman truly respects you, she will make sure not to put herself in a questionable position or check that shyt at the door. I.e. Flirt with other men, have orbiters, have questionable pictures on her social media etc. Good luck trying to have a woman delete her Instagram or Facebook who works in the fashion industry, beauty industry or any industry where they utilize their looks for monetary opportunities(I'm speaking from experience as a guy who was a videographer in the fashion industry for a couple of years) or just her social media in general because that's how she communicates with her friends and family. I know in 2023 the Redpill talking point is don't date women on Instagram or social media. Well good luck being single then because a majority of women have social media in 2023 and if you think she will delete it for you, she will just laugh in your face (please try it in person not something you heard online or read but actually try it with a woman and tell me how it ended up for you). The more you try to control a woman the more a woman will try to push a boundary with you as a man. This is why as a man you have to know when to be indifferent to a woman's BS or when to check that BS at the door. It really is situational and also depends on who you as a man and you're frame but Indifference is such a powerful mindset tool to have For example you're arguing with a woman and she is yelling and she gets upset that you're not screaming back at her. This is one of the many examples of Indifference but back on topic....

At the end of the day if a girl really wants to cheat on you, you think you can stop her? heck no. If she values you and the relationship. She will set boundaries when it comes to other men etc. If she doesn't then she can kick rocks. I don't have time to try to control a situation that I can't control by trying to make moves that I deem questionable or goofy(why keep options open in an LTR? then I might as well just casually date instead of being in an LTR). This is just going to lead to needless worrying and losing frame. I don't have time to be insecure

I wouldn't be in a committed relationship if I had to worry if my chic was behaving herself. You have picked the wrong girl.

But let's say you are. A good way to keep her on her toes is for you to go out to bars and flirt with women. I'd say it would have far more of an impact on her than being on a dating app.

I've done it in relationships not because I was worried, but because I wanted to. It was highly effective and conveyed to them that I was a man of options. Even if I didn't talk to girls when I went out, my gf would always assume I did. They project their own interactions with men and assume it works the same for guys. Little do they know. Most of us don't have random girls walking up asking for our numbers. But I swear it doesn't take much for a women to think that way.

^^^I totally agree with this minus the going to bar part. This is what Rollo calls "Dread" game and it actually works very well also there is a flip side to what OP is talking about there are women who don't respect it when a man is in a relationship. I would say that I have women hit on me more when I am in a relationship than when I'm not. Women can be very fickle and try to see if they can get another woman's man but I also attribute this to my vibe being more attractive when I have a girlfriend cause I ain't thirsty etc

 

[SW15]

Whats wrong with the dating apps?

I mean your LTR is waking up every morning with 50 proposals in her Instagram, yes she will likely reject most of them, but her mindset will always be of abundance and the comforting feeling of if/when things go South with you, she can turn to a ton of other men.

Two things:

1. Most men have lousy experiences on dating apps.

Their match rate is low and the percentage of matches that respond to messages and go on first dates is even lower. It can be psychologically damaging to a man to see this in real time on his phone.

Most men won't develop abundance from being present on a dating app.

2. People can take screen shots on you of the dating app and send to your girlfriend

It's not good to have the possibility of people your girlfriend knows sending her your screen shot of being present on the apps. That could be grounds for a breakup in a traditional monogamous LTR. You have no plausible deniability there.

A similar thing goes for sending Instagram DM's. Some DM message might find its way to your girlfriend. I think that randomly sending DMs is less risky than being present on a dating app, but you'd also have no plausible deniability there either.

With in-person approaching, you're less likely to get caught, especially in a big city. Nightgame has far more risk than daygame with this. If someone your girlfriend knows see you at a bar talking to women, they can report it to your girlfriend and send video. Due to the fact it is a nightlife venue and nightlife venues are known as places to start something up with the opposite sex, plausible deniability isn't that much. For men in bigger cities, the probability this happens is low. With daygame, it isn't as suspicious to see a man talking to a woman in a grocery store, mall, the gym, or outdoors. You'd have more plausible deniability with doing daygame approaches. If you're careful in picking your daygame venues, you'll likely never have to be very concerned about reports getting back to your girlfriend.

Most women on Instagram aren't getting a lot of DM's requesting dates and sex. Their followings are too small for that. Also, most women have private profiles. Bigger time female influencers have public profiles on Instagram. Most men won't be dating someone with big enough following on Instagram for them to get that many DM's. If a man's girlfriend has an Instagram and she only posts on it once a month or less, there's less of a chance that men are blowing up her DMs.

Almost no women would accept deleting/deactivating their Instagram as a condition of an LTR. The best hope is that you're dating someone who isn't a influencer/influencer wannabe type. You could probably ask a woman to turn off public for private as a condition of an LTR and she might accept, depending on her occupation. If her occupation depends on her having a public Instagram, then she wouldn't turn it private.

Who will have the edge in the relationship

The person operating in scarcity due to cutting themselves out completely from the dating market or the girl who is having options thrown in her face daily?

As for approaches day/night game, yes there is definitely validity to what your suggesting, however while in an LTR it's going to be more difficult/complex to go out doing night game etc, especially if you are spending weekends with her.

Any man who is dating an 18-49 year old woman has to accept the reality that his girlfriend will always have more abundance than he will have, especially if she's childless.

There's time to find a daygame or even a nightgame approach if that's what a man wants to do. Daygame is likely easier to pull off.

 

[Rainman4707]

Only under the following circumstance..

If the girl you have committed to, is still all over social media, then without a doubt she is keeping her options open, by placing herself in a position where she can meet other men.

Remember, girls rarely approach men.. The female mating strategy is simply putting herself in positions/circumstances/environments where men can approach her. This is how woman generally meet/date men.

If you as a man have dropped all your plates for an LTR & you no longer approach or no longer have dating apps on your phone, then essentially you are completely OUT of the dating game.

However if you're girl is still on Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, she is still available & present on the dating market.

Your options are closed (lack of abundance)

Her options are still open (abundance mindset)

Who do you think is going to come up top under these unfair circumstances? It isn't going to be you, that's a fact.

If you're girlfriend is on Instagram which happens to be the worlds biggest dating app, then you should install Bumble onto your phone immediately.

This will level the playing field.

My GF deleted insta and snapchat when we got together, I finished her couple weeks back, she is trying to win me back. She has pleaded with me to keep off dating apps saying her heart hurts to much.

She sent me a few photos from her old insta, I am on dating apps, if she finds out...i will just say that i thought she was back on insta....

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you need to do this you simply haven't screened properly and you have failed yourself.

Men cause 90% of their issues in their relationships by not screening properly or well enough. Too eager to get pvssy, too eager to ignore red flags, too eager to refuse to believe a woman that shows you who she is repeatedly because you don't want to.

Men need to stop trying to be like That Kid LEROI and listen to him when he says:

"So there you go...oh,
Can't make a wife out of a ho, so..."

This is what happens when a man can't hold himself accountable in that domain...just like when people do Keto it's because they can't hold themself accountable to not eat a bunch of refined sugars/processed carbs so it's just easier to get rid of all of them so you don't have to think of worry about it.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Good luck to you getting her off of instagram. I think you’re going to have better luck hitting a six figure payout on a scratch off lottery ticket.

 

[BeExcellent]

I have FB and IG. When I post its stuff my husband and I are doing together or stuff about my family or his family.

Our family and friends keep up with us through FB. I do not accept new friends with random men who friend request me, and yes there are men who try. It’s a boundary thing. I’m married and my profile is private.

It’s unreasonable to expect a woman to drop social media. It’s all in how she uses it. I do not post selfies or attention seeking content. My husband posts about his sport and so forth and does have a more public profile (so women do reach out to him there with some frequency) but his profile is plastered with pictures of us or pictures of his sport so that’s fine. He rejects women who overtly express interest but his profile is public. It’s fine & I don’t worry about it.

He’s been off dating apps for years now.

If you are having to police a woman’s social media you have not screened properly or she is not into you sufficiently. Period.

 

[member162951]

I support your opinion 100% @BeExcellent . Too many assumptions being made related to a woman's use of SM.

It can be used in many different ways, not just to attention seek.

The only thing I disagree with is this:

If you are having to police a woman’s social media you have not screened properly or she is not into you sufficiently. Period.

When you say "period" you leave no room for any other opinions besides yours. It's not black and white, there could be other reasons at play as well. .