Hello all,
It's been a while really. I was an active poster on this forum in 2016 but I stopped. Cannot access the older account because it was registered under a different e-mail (for anonymity), which I have since lost access to. I am 21 years old now and have come back to ask for help, advice or just anything... Here's my story.
I was in a 3 year relationship until a few days ago. She was my first everything and I hers. In these 3 years we've had a few arguments here and there but have always managed to work it out, but not this time. We had an argument over a week ago which goes like this:
We were chilling together and just before I was about to leave (which I had already previously planned, unrelated to her actions which I will describe in a bit), I was talking and she told me to stfu. She began crying and told me I was annoying and just hearing me talk was hurting her head. My only response to this was not saying anything. She then started talking as if nothing had just happened. I left 5 minutes after that.
We did not talk or text at all after this, and after a few days she started texting me again as if nothing had happened. I also later found out that this was the very day she got her period (not sure if this has any relevance). I wasn't willing to respond until she either apologized or brought the topic up to address it. No apology at all from her except trying to start a conversation as if nothing had happened. A week after the argument (the day when she told me to stfu), she texted me telling me its over. All her texts from that point onward were "professional" - typed like how you would type in a formal setting. I swallowed my pride and called to talk to her to try addressing it. She told me stuff like "I didn't love her enough," "She misses her freedom being single," and a bunch of other horse****. She also complained that I was "too arrogant" because I refused to "let something so simple go" and that she is a girl and she should be allowed to do "girly things and have tantrums." (This is literally what she said. Allowed to do girly things and have tantrums.) Still, we both agreed to working it out.
I texted and called her the next day to ask how she was because she had been crying the whole time on the call. No reply. That evening I saw her put up stories so I contacted her again but no response again. Next, I don't know what got into me... nevermind I do. I looked online for help and the first thing that popped up was a reddit thread and in it was all a bunch of men agreeing that they never forgot and/or moved on from their first love and how they should've never let go. I thought what if this happens to me? I didn't want to take any chances so I called. And called some more. And some more. And some more. I texted her a lot as well. She didn't pick up or read my texts even once all this time (They were all going through so I know she willingly chose not to reply). Meanwhile she still put up stories occasionally all this time.
Finally, a few days ago, she sent me one last text telling me, again, that it's over. So it went from us talking and agreeing to work it out, to her suddenly having a change of heart I guess and not responding at all, to ending it before we even had a chance to talk again. This time thankfully I had better composure and just texted "good luck" and blocked her before she even had a chance to reply.
This girl was my first everything and I hers. My first kiss, my first girlfriend, the girl who I lost my virginity to... everything. She cooked for me, drove me places, bought me gifts and overall in my eyes was just perfect. She was clingy, had to talk almost everyday for hours, told me about everything in her life, texting me all the time and other stuff.
Did I mess up trying to be too much of an "alpha" or arrogant? If that is even the right word to describe it. Did I initially over react to what she did? What did I do wrong? What did I do right? I don't even know all the questions I have but I'm hoping someone can just read this and offer their perspective.
