How do you go about getting into a girl's dms on instagram? What are the fundamentals of instagram game?

[BergischerLöwe]

Bergischer, you gotta fight the despondency and defeatist attitude. The Red Pill shows you what reality actually is vs what you want it to be. There is some quality advice in this thread to you but you're response at every turn is "I'm going to fail so why bother trying". She already has a boyfriend. How will she ever be attracted to me if she isn't already? etc. ad nauseum.

The solution is in the process of trying but YOU have to take those first steps in any of these areas of your life. We can't do it for you. You want the success without putting in the effort. You walked 1 mile into the forest. You have to walk 1 mile back out.

I understand I have to do this, but these mindsets I have are exceptionally resilient. I want to believe that I can change but my mind doesn't let me. What can I actually do to change that?

 

[SW15]

I want to believe that I can change but my mind doesn't let me. What can I actually do to change that?

That's the kind of thing you'd need to work on in psychotherapy.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

That's the kind of thing you'd need to work on in psychotherapy.

I've been going to therapy already

 

[SW15]

I've been going to therapy already

Psychotherapy is useful for some inner game elements but generally useless for some key early stage outer game elements. Psychotherapy will not equip you with the tools to start a conversation with a woman in a bar or non-bar setting and arrange a first date with her.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Psychotherapy is useful for some inner game elements but generally useless for some key early stage outer game elements. Psychotherapy will not equip you with the tools to start a conversation with a woman in a bar or non-bar setting and arrange a first date with her.

You're exactly right. I've made a point similar to this on here. How do I equip myself with those tools? I found an online course that looks legit and is reasonably priced, might try that. Any other suggestions?

 

[SW15]

Psychotherapy is useful for some inner game elements but generally useless for some key early stage outer game elements. Psychotherapy will not equip you with the tools to start a conversation with a woman in a bar or non-bar setting and arrange a first date with her.

You're exactly right. I've made a point similar to this on here. How do I equip myself with those tools? I found an online course that looks legit and is reasonably priced, might try that. Any other suggestions?

This is one of the biggest blind spots of psychotherapy in my opinion. A lot of people (especially men) go to psychotherapy because they are having problems getting laid and/or forming longer term relationships in which they would get laid. They are lacking sex and that's taking its toll on their mental health. Psychotherapy doesn't teach any tactics that can get you laid. Psychotherapy doesn't teach approaching strangers in the real world, it doesn't teach swipe app text game, and it doesn't teach how to arrange first dates from using Instagram.

Most psychotherapists are either mediocre beta males or women, neither of whom know much about attracting women. Some beta male psychotherapists are married because some mediocre woman sees them as a beta bucks or they had a good social circles decades ago when they started dating and got married.

Some have made the argument that psychotherapy was designed more for women and addressing women's emotional needs rather than men's emotional needs.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

This is one of the biggest blind spots of psychotherapy in my opinion. A lot of people (especially men) go to psychotherapy because they are having problems getting laid and/or forming longer term relationships in which they would get laid. They are lacking sex and that's taking its toll on their mental health. Psychotherapy doesn't teach any tactics that can get you laid. Psychotherapy doesn't teach approaching strangers in the real world, it doesn't teach swipe app text game, and it doesn't teach how to arrange first dates from using Instagram.

Most psychotherapists are either mediocre beta males or women, neither of whom know much about attracting women. Some beta male psychotherapists are married because some mediocre woman sees them as a beta bucks or they had a good social circles decades ago when they started dating and got married.

Some have made the argument that psychotherapy was designed more for women and addressing women's emotional needs rather than men's emotional needs.

All this is true. Any more suggestions as to how I actually learn these tactics? Like I said I'm deliberating whether or not to purchase an online course that I found

 

[SW15]

Any more suggestions as to how I actually learn these tactics? Like I said I'm deliberating whether or not to purchase an online course that I found

Don't purchase it. It is likely a waste of money. You've read enough stuff.

You need to go out and field test. Forget about Instagram or swipe apps.

You need to lose body fat and have a goatee, not just some ridiculous mustache.

You need to either get a higher paying job or lean into a persona as a trust fund kid.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Don't purchase it. It is likely a waste of money. You've read enough stuff.

You need to go out and field test. Forget about Instagram or swipe apps.

You need to lose body fat and have a goatee, not just some ridiculous mustache.

You need to either get a higher paying job or lean into a persona as a trust fund kid.

How should I go out and field test? Right now I'm still very hesitant to approach. What can I do to develop the skills I need in the meantime? In recent weeks I've lost a considerable amount of bodyfat and it's only gaining momentum. Perhaps I can grow a goatee again as well, but I do like the look of just the mustache. As for the job question I still intend to get career counseling to plot my next move

 

[SW15]

How should I go out and field test?

You just go to either bars or non-bar venues and talk to women. This isn't like a complicated medical surgery.

There was once a time where I had never done approaches. Do you know what I did? I started approaches. I didn't overthink it, I did it. I kept reading as I was doing.

I do like the look of just the mustache.

You might like it, but I guarantee most women think its creepy. The women (mainly Gen Z women and likely Gen Z White women) are your target market. The mustache alone look is associated with molesters and other perverts.

You have a choice of a goatee, mustache & beard combination, and no facial hair. I've done all 3 at various times.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

You just go to either bars or non-bar venues and talk to women. This isn't like a complicated medical surgery.

There was once a time where I had never done approaches. Do you know what I did? I started approaches. I didn't overthink it, I did it. I kept reading as I was doing.



You might like it, but I guarantee most women think its creepy. The women (mainly Gen Z women and likely Gen Z White women) are your target market. The mustache alone look is associated with molesters and other perverts.

You have a choice of a goatee, mustache & beard combination, and no facial hair. I've done all 3 at various times.

Well at the very least after religious lectures a few days ago I was talking to a woman I've seen there before. She's not really a prospect in any sense of the word and I don't see her there very often, but I always talk to her when I do. She was just asking about how my sitar playing endeavors are going.

For doing approaches in earnest I still need more info on openers and stuff like that, and also how to defeat all the hesitancy I feel at the prospect of approaching women. The other day a friend of mine and I were having dinner and drinking beers at a restaurant patio, and there were these two girls sitting near us, and my friend asked me something to the effect of if we should open these girls or not. I briefly thought about it but said no. I had no idea what I would have said, and just thinking about doing that made me nervous.

I still don't quite understand why women would find mustaches creepy. There's plenty of young guys who have a mustache and no beard who have done well with women. Maybe it's because I'm originally from central Europe and mustaches are more commonplace there, but I just don't get the notion that women think mustaches are creepy. I can't imagine it makes that much of a difference to have a mustache and a goatee as opposed to just a mustache. Do girls really care that much?

 

[Cowboy-Cheems]

I still don't quite understand why women would find mustaches creepy. There's plenty of young guys who have a mustache and no beard who have done well with women. Maybe it's because I'm originally from central Europe and mustaches are more commonplace there, but I just don't get the notion that women think mustaches are creepy. I can't imagine it makes that much of a difference to have a mustache and a goatee as opposed to just a mustache. Do girls really care that much?

The shape of your face and overall demeaner determine whether the mustache is attractive or creepy. A well-groomed, neat and distinct mustache on attractive and social guy can make someone seem masculine and attractive. However, patchy peach fuzz on a skinny and awkward frame can make someone seem like a guy that is not allowed within 500 feet of an elementary school.

 

[Gamisch]

It looks to me like you have given up already. If you are not willing to go past your introvert ways, and participate in basic group activities, then you are in a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You also say that all attractive girls already have a boyfriend, but that is no excuse since many modern men are either cucks or easily replaceable. If you hit right emotions, you can end a relationship and make it yours; women do it themselves all the time, in fact.

As for the swipe apps, they are irritating as hell, but should be treated like a supplement or minor side part of your social game. If you are solely reliant on them, you will always be frustrated.

Every thread you post on this website follows the same formula:
-Asks about "easy way" or "cheat code" to get women
-Every other poster explains why the suggested method is unrealistic, and gives you advice on how to actually improve your situation
-You reject the advice or come up with excuses of why you can't apply it.

A simple definition of insanity is doing the same thing constantly and expecting a different result. Stop being insane. Many of us here actually want to see you succeed, but you need to stop looking for easy ways out and actually put forth an effort to be more sociable.

This.

Unfortunately many guys i know are like this. They waste their prime believing they're not good enough, eventually going passport bro and that again isn't working any in 2024. Women ALL OVER THE GLOBE want real men now!

Its sad and pathetic at the same time. It can be so simple: there are bars, festivals, events everywhere with the most beautiful and cutest women available. Yet these men believe they dont stand a chance. I've given up trying to convince them they're "worth it". They refuse to lift a dumbbell, dres well ect.

These men are intimidated by women. My incel homie recently said he "loves dominant women" while he hasn't touched a woman in God know how many years( while we have legal prostitution) .Scared for the weaker sex...just like OP, a scared little chicken. Ofcourse no woman wants to be around that bs.

Its indeed a self fulfilling thing now. What we see is in the thread is a man fighting to keep his head above the water while we all know he'll drown sooner or later...just "die " (as in let go of trying to be this uber player you'll never be) already.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

The shape of your face and overall demeaner determine whether the mustache is attractive or creepy. A well-groomed, neat and distinct mustache on attractive and social guy can make someone seem masculine and attractive. However, patchy peach fuzz on a skinny and awkward frame can make someone seem like a guy that is not allowed within 500 feet of an elementary school.

I have a good handlebar mustache and it always grows in well. In the past I've had a handlebar mustache/goatee combo and it looks decent but it also has the side effect of making me look like a pirate, especially since I also have long hair. Idk if this is a good or bad thing tho