Guys on the spectrum pursuing girls on the spectrum

[GoodMan32]

There's been discussion on here before about guys on the spectrum. On the surface, it might appear there's a foolproof solution: Pursue girls on the spectrum.

I've concluded guys on the spectrum and girls on the spectrum aren't necessarily a good match, however. I belong to another forum specifically for people on the spectrum. The female members on that forum hate us, mock us, and have no sympathy for the unique struggles guys on the spectrum face when it comes to dating/sex.

Perhaps guys on the spectrum do better with neurotypical girls. To the best of my knowledge, everyone I've been with has been neurotypical.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

They've likely to see themselves as victims and tend to be stuck in their own heads, more so than other women.

What's good about this? That being said, if you're an introverted guy don't go to the other extreme and go for overly extraverted women. The middle ground is what you want.

 

[GoodMan32]

They've likely to see themselves as victims and tend to be stuck in their own heads, more so than other women.

What's good about this?

Nothing good about it.

One thing I've learned on that forum, the only common ground we have is the fact we're on the spectrum. There are all sorts of gender differences, racial differences, and political differences.

 

[itouchyou]

That being said, if you're an introverted guy don't go to the other extreme and go for overly extraverted women. The middle ground is what you want.

There's this neighbor of mine who is super, super extroverted. As extroverted as one can get. I'm finding it tough to converse with her because I'm as introverted as it gets. Usually women tone down their energy to match mine, but in this case I'm finding I have to raise mine to match hers, and that **** isn't easy. LOL. I'm not interested in her but she's definitely attractive, and just crazy amounts of energy .

 

[BillyPilgrim]

There's this neighbor of mind who is super, super extroverted. As extroverted as one can get. I'm finding it tough to converse with her because I'm as introverted as it gets. Usually women tone down their energy to match mine, but in this case I'm finding I have to raise mine to match hers, and that **** isn't easy. LOL. I'm not interested in her but she's definitely attractive, and just crazy amounts of energy .

I think I remember you saying you live in the Northeast. Is this chick Italian?

 

[itouchyou]

I think I remember you saying you live in the Northeast. Is this chick Italian?

Nah just white/american.

 

[SW15]

There's been discussion on here before about guys on the spectrum. On the surface, it might appear there's a foolproof solution: Pursue girls on the spectrum.

I've concluded guys on the spectrum and girls on the spectrum aren't necessarily a good match, however. I belong to another forum specifically for people on the spectrum. The female members on that forum hate us, mock us, and have no sympathy for the unique struggles guys on the spectrum face when it comes to dating/sex.

It's mathematically impossible. There are far more men on the spectrum than there are women in the spectrum.

Perhaps guys on the spectrum do better with neurotypical girls. To the best of my knowledge, everyone I've been with has been neurotypical.

Neurotypical women tend to think Aspie/Autistic men are weird or creepy. Neurotypical women also have an abundance of prospects and are hypergamous. They are going to be busy chasing a 6'0"+, fit guy who is neurotypical.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I've banged one of these chicks but she was early 20's and in an experimental stage. It was a little weird, but fun. So it can be done. That being said she was clearly dtf from the start so it made everything much easier.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

Now this is a party.

"Describe yourself to me in 3 words!"
" I'm not sure"

Love this show.

 

[GioWolf]

There is a Netflix series called “Love on the Spectrum” I highly recommend you watch. The women are pretty brutal to the men. As you said, the women prefer neurotypical men. Many Neurodiverse men can be pedantic, shy, anxious, and have other qualities that are extremely unattractive.
I’ve never been diagnosed with anything, but I do have some Asperger traits and I’m probably a little on the spectrum. Looking back I’ve definitely tanked many interactions and relationships when those traits popped out. It’s been a struggle to deal with but I’ve improved myself with lots of self conducted exposure therapy.

 

[MatureDJ]

The attribute of a woman being aut is almost a non-issue. However, for an aut man that is not a tycoon ...

It's OVER for AutCels.

 

[GoodMan32]

It's mathematically impossible. There are far more men on the spectrum than there are women in the spectrum.



Neurotypical women tend to think Aspie/Autistic men are weird or creepy. Neurotypical women also have an abundance of prospects and are hypergamous. They are going to be busy chasing a 6'0"+, fit guy who is neurotypical.

I'm well-aware (from personal experience) a lot of neurotypical girls think guys on the spectrum are strange/creepy. All I'm saying is even quite a few girls on the spectrum think we're creepy. Combined with the fact it's mathematically impossible for every guy on the spectrum to get a girl on the spectrum (as you pointed out), I don't see why a guy on the spectrum should focus on spectrum girls.

When spectrum girls think we're creepy, I guess I view it as even worse than a neurotypical girl thinking we're creepy. You expect a neurotypical girl to think we're creepy. A spectrum girl, on the other hand, should sympathize with spectrum guys. A spectrum girl who thinks we're creepy is a traitor to her people ("her people" meaning people on the spectrum).

Plus, of the relatively few girls on the spectrum, an alarming percentage appear to be asexual.

Even if most neurotypical girls won't go for a guy on the spectrum, the fact I've had success with neurotypical girls, yet have never had any success with a girl on the spectrum (as far as I know) is very telling.

 

[GoodMan32]

There is a Netflix series called “Love on the Spectrum” I highly recommend you watch. The women are pretty brutal to the men. As you said, the women prefer neurotypical men. Many Neurodiverse men can be pedantic, shy, anxious, and have other qualities that are extremely unattractive.
I’ve never been diagnosed with anything, but I do have some Asperger traits and I’m probably a little on the spectrum. Looking back I’ve definitely tanked many interactions and relationships when those traits popped out. It’s been a struggle to deal with but I’ve improved myself with lots of self conducted exposure therapy.

Sounds like an interesting watch, I will have to look into the show. Based on your description of the girls' behavior, I wouldn't be shocked if some of the girls on the show post on the spectrum forum I belong to.

I think what it all comes down to is: Girls, whether she's on the spectrum or not, don't like unwanted attention from guys. Especially guys they deem creepy (and obviously, guys on the spectrum are more prone to being viewed as creepy). We're at risk of being creep-shamed even by spectrum girls.

 

[GoodMan32]

There is a Netflix series called “Love on the Spectrum” I highly recommend you watch. The women are pretty brutal to the men. As you said, the women prefer neurotypical men. Many Neurodiverse men can be pedantic, shy, anxious, and have other qualities that are extremely unattractive.
I’ve never been diagnosed with anything, but I do have some Asperger traits and I’m probably a little on the spectrum. Looking back I’ve definitely tanked many interactions and relationships when those traits popped out. It’s been a struggle to deal with but I’ve improved myself with lots of self conducted exposure therapy.

I will add: I've tanked many interactions too.

In many cases, the mere thought of making a move on a woman makes my heart race a mile a minute (and if I end up making the move, my heart races a mile a minute during the move too)

 

[GoodMan32]

The attribute of a woman being aut is almost a non-issue. However, for an aut man that is not a tycoon ...

It's OVER for AutCels.

Yeah. Sad but true.

Since the man is expected to do the approaching, combined with the fact a lot of men care more about a woman's body than what's on the inside, a woman being on the spectrum doesn't really hold her back. She can sit back and still get approached by men.

A guy being on the spectrum though? Normie guys have a high enough rejection rate. Add the autism spectrum into the mix, the guy is really at a disadvantage.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

There's been discussion on here before about guys on the spectrum. On the surface, it might appear there's a foolproof solution: Pursue girls on the spectrum.

I've concluded guys on the spectrum and girls on the spectrum aren't necessarily a good match, however. I belong to another forum specifically for people on the spectrum. The female members on that forum hate us, mock us, and have no sympathy for the unique struggles guys on the spectrum face when it comes to dating/sex.

Perhaps guys on the spectrum do better with neurotypical girls. To the best of my knowledge, everyone I've been with has been neurotypical.

The consensus is that girls on the spectrum mostly date regular guys. Men far outnumber women in the demographics of people on the spectrum, and since women on the spectrum tend not to be as socially disadvantaged as their male counterparts they almost always just go for normal guys anyway. If you have autism it's probably better to find a way to compensate for any social deficits you have and try to date regular women

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

#1 there are far less women on the spectrum than men
#2 I don't think two people of similar personalities are necessarily a good fit. Men and women are complementary.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I have a very bad memory, would I also want to date a woman who has a bad memory, simply because we both have bad memories? It makes no sense.