anyone find cold approach easier than talking in warmer settings?

[PlatoPacks23]

I have found recently (I've also been in a rut) that in classes/workshops/events where it should be relatively "warmer" to talk with people, I find myself a Lot more in head than when I'm simply doing cold approach. It could be because it feels or appears in my head that the risk of "messing up" is a lot worse with people I may see in the future at some point, whereas hypothetically in cold approach (which still has potential to run into someone again) that is far less likely and I feel a lot more comfortable to "take risks" or express interest in a very direct manner much earlier off the bat.

Just wonder if anyone else has noticed this... I've lately been trying to meet people in more event/classes type situations but find myself more stifled and in my head/shy than I would be just going out to a park or etc place

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Why do people have long deep conversations with strangers on the train? Because it's unlikely to get back to you.

When you approach in a familiar environment, you have a chance of your failures coming back to haunt you, so it's less relaxed that cold approaching for you.

 

[obelisk]

Why do people have long deep conversations with strangers on the train? Because it's unlikely to get back to you.

When you approach in a familiar environment, you have a chance of your failures coming back to haunt you, so it's less relaxed that cold approaching for you.

^This. There is an aspect of consequence in my head when it comes to conversations at work, church, a class or otherwise where I'm seeing these people on an ongoing basis.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

^This. There is an aspect of consequence in my head when it comes to conversations at work, church, a class or otherwise where I'm seeing these people on an ongoing basis.

You can train yourself in conversations by conversing with strangers and see the emotional impact of whatever you're telling them and refine that.

When I was seventeen, I hitch-hiked around Britain, Scotland and Ireland. Knowing that whatever I told a driver was not going to be checked against the facts, I could 'reinvent' myself with every ride and tell the driver a different story. It wasn't about lying to them, but entertaining them in return for the ride.

 

[SW15]

No, the warmer approaches are much easier to make. Approaching after a fitness class is an easier approach than approaching in a park or on a path outdoors, in the grocery store, etc.

Approaching after a college class or a fitness class is still a challenge, even if it is relatively easier.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

.

Warm approach, cold approach.

Do both.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Just work on your self esteem first and then socializing in general.

People who usually have alot of cool friends have alot of high self esteem. People with high selfesteem usually have no issues socializing.
I'm like a master when it comes to socializing with anyone lol.. BUti also grew up In NYC where as early as you can walk, you socialized with everyone in the neighborhood, regardless of age, gender, status, ethnicity, etc

 

[zekko]

I have found recently (I've also been in a rut) that in classes/workshops/events where it should be relatively "warmer" to talk with people, I find myself a Lot more in head than when I'm simply doing cold approach.

I could see that. As an introvert, I've always preferred socializing with someone one to one as opposed to in a group. That's probably why I've always preferred having a girlfriend to plate spinning, it's more intimate. In situations like you are talking about, you are put into a group setting. People start jockeying for position, and generally I find the whole process annoying. It helps if the people are actually interesting.