I've Become Desensitized to Rejection. But How?

BackInTheGame78

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Also I will add that your mind is designed to maintain status quo.

It's a survival instinct.

So people typically have their mind make things 100x worse thinking about what will happen and playing worst case scenarios over and over before they even try which then prevents them from trying.

It's done because your mind doesn't want you to actually do something new. It doesn't like it. You hear how people don't like change? That's why. Your brain isn't designed for your to thrive, it's designed for you to survive.

And it is always much better for the brain to have certainty than uncertainty for it to be able to survive.
 

corrector

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If you have a loving wife then one would not worry about rejection from her or other women. The key is always finding the right woman to marry to avoid dissapointment and heartaches later on.

Examples of users who have successful marriages and are not struggling with rejection issues because they are happy with their life:
@Fruitbat
@Atom Smasher
@stringpuller
 
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We_ArE_VeNOM

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If you have a loving wife then one would not worry about rejection from her or other women. The key is always finding the right woman to marry to avoid dissapointment and heartaches later on.

Examples of users who have successful marriages and are not struggling with rejection issues because they are happy with their life:
@Fruitbat
@Atom Smasher
@stringpuller
gifgit (1).gif
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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Also I will add that your mind is designed to maintain status quo.

It's a survival instinct.

So people typically have their mind make things 100x worse thinking about what will happen and playing worst case scenarios over and over before they even try which then prevents them from trying.

It's done because your mind doesn't want you to actually do something new. It doesn't like it. You hear how people don't like change? That's why. Your brain isn't designed for your to thrive, it's designed for you to survive.

And it is always much better for the brain to have certainty than uncertainty for it to be able to survive.
That is an interesting take..and it makes sense.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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I actually needed this, thank you OP. I've got pretty longstanding fear of rejection/approach anxiety... learned why that is a couple months ago, but it sounds like the path forward is the same either way. Again, thank you.
Your welcome, amigo.

Glad I could help.

What happened with the other 3%? :lol:
All 3 called the authorities on me. :lol:
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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.

Fresh out of the gym.

I was at the gym, got there around 2:30 after work.

When first got there, not many people were there.

But after a little while, the place became semi-packed.

I was formally a person who did not approach women at the gym, but now, I'm like FUK it.

Every time, in between sets, I look around to see if any new women had entered the facility since I arrived.

As the gym became more packed, there began to be more women inside.

One time when I looked up, I saw what looked like a black woman from a distance.

Her back was towards me, so I kept my eye on her so that when she turned around, I can see her fronts (titties :p ).

When she turned around, I was not disappointed. She wore a sports bra with obvious noticeable tits.

Upon seeing this, I walked my way towards her to get a closer look.

Lucky for me, as I walked towards her way, she began to walk towards me.

As I got closer, her frame became obvious.

She was about 5'7, slim, nice boobies.

Her boobies had a nice sag to them (which I like) and they filled out her sports bra beautifully.

Her hair was in a ponytail (which I also like), and her face was cute, but that cuteness seemed to be accompanied by a snobby, stuck-up countenance.

We walked by each other and since her boobies were so mouthwatering, I turned around and approached her as she stepped on the treadmill.

Me: Excuse me, Miss. You're cute. Are you single?

Her: No, why you ask? Do you know me?

Me: Naw, but I was gonna see if I can get your number, but ok.

She laughed pleasantly, and I smiled and walked off.

But, those boobies had me turn back around.

I approached her again..

Me: Can I give you my number anyway?

She pleasantly laughed again and shook her head no.

Me (smiling): Aight, that's it.

And I walked off.

So, I left her and walked over to the other side of the gym to do some rows.

As I am doing a set, I am looking over to her direction.

The place is getting packed, and I can see her frame walking in between treadmills and people.

I took my eyes off her and began doing another set, but as I am doing my set I am looking in the mirror, and I can see her walking towards my vicinity.

She made her way towards the area in Planet Fitness where you can do pullups (along with the multi functional machine where you can work with the cables...whatever you call it).

Now, she is behind me and I can't see her.

After I completed my set of rows, I began to do my lateral shoulder raises with the rope.

Now I get to pay more attention to her.

Every so often, I would catch her looking at way and stealing glances at me.

This was all the signals I needed to make move.

The next time I caught her stealing a glance and our eyes locked, I motioned for her to "come here" with my head.

She said "you come here", and I walked over to her.

Me: Let me just give you my number and if you ain't feeling me, don't hit me up. Plus, I want to ask you something anyway.

Her: I don't have my phone with me (which was a lie), but why can't you ask me here?

Me: Because, based on what I want to ask you, I don't want you to flip out on me.

Her: Why would I flip out on you? With all of these people in here?

Me: Ok, promise me you won't flip out on me.

Her: I promise.

Me: Ok, let me start off by saying; I am a breast man.

Her: Ok..

Me: And you got what I like.

Her: Is that what you wanted to tell me?

Me: Naw, I got to ask you something.

Her: Ask me what? Do you want to ask me if they are real?

Me: Naw.

Her: Oh, well they ain't real, and I always get asked if they are real. But what did you want to ask me.

Me: Well, I also have a breast sucking fetish and I want to know if I can suck them.

Her (pleasantly laughing): No.

Me: That's all I wanted to ask you.

Then we began to engage in small talk, where I was able to determine that, despite her countenance, she is a very easy going woman.

I asked her questions about her implants and she said that she had them for about 10 years.

She asked me how tall I was and how much I weighed, I told her and she did not believe me.

She is 40 years old and is a very attractive woman.

Nice bod.

I said all that to say this, closure is everything.

I would rather have closure with a rejection, than be too afraid to approach and wonder what if.
 

itouchyou

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Me: Well, I also have a breast sucking fetish and I want to know if I can suck them.

Her (pleasantly laughing): No.

Me: That's all I wanted to ask you.
I can't tell if you're trolling, but my man, this is as mode one as it gets. lmao!
 

Millard Fillmore

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Rejection is not a real thing. It has very little to do with us.

People don't reject, they select. If you're not selected, it's nothing personal.
 

Bingo-Player

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The thing is if a woman straight up blows you out its kind of painless and really not that big a deal

" can I have your number / insta "

Woman - " no I have a BF " ( or whatever other excuse )

You know from that stage your fighting a losing battle and can just get the hell outta there

Where things start getting confusing and outright annoying for the man, is when a woman doesn't have the balls to do this or isn't even sure if she's interested in you

This leads to her handing over her details which leads into some lukewarm interaction which usually cumulates in her ghosting the dude

This in my opinion is THE most frustrating and irritating thing for a guy to endure when it comes to approaching \ dealing with women

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A chick in the gym last week keep glancing at me , on the 3rd occasion I caught her she smiled at me so I took this as a clear indicator she wanted me to approach I wasn't even that sure if I was attracted to her but she gave me the signal and I wanted to act on it

I approached and asked for her instagram , she was slightly standoffish but she gave it to me anyway told her I will message her later we made some more small talk and I left

sent her a fairly low key message on insta I quickly got the impression she was low interest yet she was still engaging in the conversation

eventually she just vanishes and so do I , yet she is still religiously watching my stories :rofl:

Although in this instance I wasn't that bothered because she wasn't that hot , I was still baffled as to why she would give me a clear IOI just to eventually turn out to be wishy wash and generally uninterested

And yes I am aware mode one is all about immediately proposing a date and getting straight to the point but at 30 I kind of like to get a little bit of a sense of who I am actually asking out first
 

Bingo-Player

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To summarise I don't think rejection is the problem on most occasions its really not that deep and often quite liberating because you know where you stand

Its the false hope that kills most men when you get wishy washy women who don't have a clue what they want and expect you to create a rom com style emotional roller coaster for them within the first 15 seconds of speaking to them
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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If she asked you the same thing then how would you reply?
I've been asked that.

Sometimes if I ask if they are single, they will hit me with the "are you single? ".

My response: It's complicated :cool:

Btw, I would appreciate if you go to your own thread and keep that beta energy to yourself.

Only Alphas this way.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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I can't tell if you're trolling, but my man, this is as mode one as it gets. lmao!
No trolling.

Everything I say is true, amigo.

I practice what I preach.

Once she promised me she wouldn't flip out, it was all Mode One from there.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Condescension detected.

Don't be a hater, fam.
Don't be so sensitive, fam. I know I'm a sarcastic bastard, but sometimes I do commiserate.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Maybe but that's just semantics. My point is that it is not personal and isn't about you.
It is semantics, but semantics are important. The words you use can change your mindset. Negative words like 'rejection' carry a different emotional heft than more neutral scientific terms like 'preselection error'. So, using 'preselection error', you can just stay detached and continue unencumbered by the emotional weight of being 'rejected'.
 
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