Coming to my senses (long post)

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,286
Reaction score
11,249
You not marrying in 40s has consequences - this implies you may have doubts about your decision? Are you happy with it? What are the consequences?
Great questions.

It's true that I've made it to 40 without marrying and without having children.

There's not a simple yes or no answer about my regrets or lack of regrets with my decisions on marriage and children. The answer to your main question is "It's complicated".

None of my relationships to this point in life have resulted in me making a marriage proposal. There's not been one relationship where I even considered proposing marriage. Things fell apart before that point. I like to say that if I had gotten married earlier in life, I would have been divorced by now. I think that's fair due to the non-marital breakups that have happened.

I've also had no kids in any of my relationships, which is more good than bad.

Let's talk about some of the negative consequences.

My life choices and how my life has played out has caused alienation within my blue pill social circle. I wasn't invited to a wedding in my social circle in 2023 due to my lifestyle choices. I've had my friendships hurt with my married man and married man with children friends.

I have a weak support structure for medical emergencies and future elder care. Without a wife and kids, I have less familial support. Even having a simple outpatient procedure would cause me to have to seek caregiving services.

In general, the positives for me have outweighed the negatives.

If you let a divorce or breakup traumatize your life, then you are fvcking weak. If it wasn't the divorce/breakup it would've been something else that traumatizes your life. Hell, I would rather get divorced and pay the alimony then stick in a failed marriage with some psycho bvtch.
Based on your logic, plenty of men are weak. Plenty of men have been wrecked from divorces or even a bad non-marital breakup.

I wouldn't want to stay in a failed marriage with some psycho biatch either.
 

Cowboy-Cheems

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2023
Messages
105
Reaction score
132
Age
24
OP actually spun the plates, and chose a good candidate, and didn't just marry the first woman that slept with him more than twice. This alone, makes him better than the majority of a lot of married men in terms of judgement and patience. He has clearly experienced the game and got a satisfying experience. Now he can find new aspirations and maybe one day teach his future son how to play the game and be an alpha amongst a world of betas. He has a reason to be proud of his decision.
 

SmoothSmooth

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 24, 2021
Messages
548
Reaction score
569
Age
31
Great questions.

It's true that I've made it to 40 without marrying and without having children.

There's not a simple yes or no answer about my regrets or lack of regrets with my decisions on marriage and children. The answer to your main question is "It's complicated".

None of my relationships to this point in life have resulted in me making a marriage proposal. There's not been one relationship where I even considered proposing marriage. Things fell apart before that point. I like to say that if I had gotten married earlier in life, I would have been divorced by now. I think that's fair due to the non-marital breakups that have happened.

I've also had no kids in any of my relationships, which is more good than bad.

Let's talk about some of the negative consequences.

My life choices and how my life has played out has caused alienation within my blue pill social circle. I wasn't invited to a wedding in my social circle in 2023 due to my lifestyle choices. I've had my friendships hurt with my married man and married man with children friends.

I have a weak support structure for medical emergencies and future elder care. Without a wife and kids, I have less familial support. Even having a simple outpatient procedure would cause me to have to seek caregiving services.

In general, the positives for me have outweighed the negatives.



Based on your logic, plenty of men are weak. Plenty of men have been wrecked from divorces or even a bad non-marital breakup.

I wouldn't want to stay in a failed marriage with some psycho biatch either.
the loosing blue pill friends thing is 100% real. Pretty much all my friends are married or on the path to marriage. For the vast majority of people, marriage is seen as the biggest life accomplishment. It’s something they look forward and see as the end all be all of life. Finding a woman that likes you and having her agree to a proposal is a genuine struggle for many people. In addition, the life of self improvement that is required to be a succesful playboy is one which means you are constantly status upping your friends (in body, looks, money etc), which leads to envy and resentment .
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,725
Reaction score
6,711
Age
55
Good for you @RazorRambo24 . You’ve been there, done that, got the T shirt. Now you are embarking on a more important, more meaningful journey.

Two nights ago my husband and I were reminiscing about our pasts in nightlife. Great fun memories and fantastic experiences, but graduated to raising solid kids and no way I’d trade my marriage to my husband.

We grow up, priorities change. I am grateful for the experiences I’ve had which gave me the perspective that led me to where I am now. I look back on those times fondly and smile. It was great fun. But life is about more important stuff now…

And you come full circle. Yesterday my husband and I were laughing so hard about the fun stuff we get to do now with another couple we are close to.

Kids grown, fun of the 20s with some life wisdom & some money. And a great partner & great friends to share it with.

Life is magnificent. You are moving onward & upward with the person you’ve selected. Good for you :)

Cheers
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,286
Reaction score
11,249
the loosing blue pill friends thing is 100% real.
I haven't fully lost any of my blue pill friendship, though some of my friendships with blue pill ideology men have diminished.


Pretty much all my friends are married or on the path to marriage. For the vast majority of people, marriage is seen as the biggest life accomplishment. It’s something they look forward and see as the end all be all of life.
Marriage is the be all, end all for those with a blue pill ideology.

Finding a woman that likes you and having her agree to a proposal is a genuine struggle for many people. In addition, the life of self improvement that is required to be a succesful playboy is one which means you are constantly status upping your friends (in body, looks, money etc), which leads to envy and resentment .
I haven't made a proposal because it hasn't made sense to make a proposal in any of my relationships.

I know there's some envy and resentment within my blue pill social circle. One male friend with a wife who gave birth recently told me that he thinks I've made the right choice in having a bachelor lifestyle with a lot of freedom. I think he said that out of genuine admiration. I think other men have thought my bachelor lifestyle is superior to their married lifestyle but haven't said anything to me, probably due to the fact that they feel envy and resentment.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
6,593
Reaction score
5,708
I wouldn't call it 'coming to your senses', but I understand that you're enjoying a new phase in your life. Stay sharp, good luck.
 

Learning Curve

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 7, 2023
Messages
509
Reaction score
421
Age
32
Location
Cyprus
Appreciate this post mate.

This is what life is about, making your decisions and moving forward.

It's not about being in a constant dating game or swapping chicks is where you feel that you have ended in the right place then you make the decision to stay there.

I fully understand your point of view and everyone should analyze their circumstances and decide how to move forward in life. This is the hardest part. Everyone can comment and be negative, and know it all but at the end of the day everyone will have to make a decision.

Life is not just flowers and rainbows tough decisions will be a part of our journey.

Stay sharp, and as always keep going where you feel it will lead you to become the best version of ur self.
 

BPH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
Messages
2,410
Reaction score
1,016
Location
Wilmington, DE
This is probably going to be one of my last posts about myself .. but just wanted to let everyone know if you have one or more amazing gorgeous and beautiful women who respect you , who have stuck with you longer than a few months and you're at the point where you have an abundance of options.. at some point or another it makes sense to come to your senses and just settle down and stop making these girls wait forever or continue to play this game of seeing each other but having no strings..

While in this modern day it works for alot of people especially when both sides are capable of pulling whoever they want.. but I think , with the help of some fine gentleman, and some older people I Respect (sadly my father isn't alive to give me advice).. I decided to really focus on the girl I love and care about the most. We're now 2 and some years maybe 2 years and 7 months.. that we've been seeing each other. I cut off 2 women who I was also seeing for a long time for this chick and plan on letting go all the women ive been sleeping with in the past 4-5 months (to be modest, its alot of diff women). I been told I was crazy for the length of 2 years by people around me for not settling down with this girl. Not going to make this a brag about her looks or anything because I already understand im operating on a different level than most.. But, the looks aren't what matters. This girl has stayed for the long run and has never really did anything wrong to me, nor has she been a pushover and kept me on my toes. She never once jus folded to everything or started being way too compliant lke some women in my life do which eventually makes me lose interest..

Something about her that seemed special to me.. was that we just met on the same "level" if you catch my drift.. I never once felt more confident than her , and I dont think she once ever felt more confident than me. We operated like we were on a level playing field nad there was never any real tug of war for leverage or any power dynamic, which I notice with so many women who are 8s and above, who don't become pushovers or who dont bend over backwards for me anytime I want.. She's also real kind hearted.. I think thats important. WE share similar goals, and I think she compliments me well.

im going to be 32 this year. For the last 32 years, I was a menace.. I can safely say that.. and I think up until this far my experience with women can be summed up in these ways:
1) First just growing up seeing women as less/dumb/not even realizing women were smart and complex (this lasted maybe up till 17-19.. and is part of the reason why i did so well with women, because I thought i could jus do whatever with them.. like they were dumb/inferior creatures. I grew up in an environment that was really just chauvinistic in alot of ways and hip hop culture and even family culture molded this into me).. Used to not care about women much and jut use them and move on like nothing

2) Understanding the deep and complex emotions that go along iwth relationships. Idk i grew up a menace, possibly becuase my parents werent very loving, were quite narcissistic and yet we never sat down for family dinners or ever spoke about emotions. It took quite a while for me to tart understanding the complexities behind relationships and emotions and things, but i faired well, this was prob 21-24.. In this stage of my life I was just flourishing off of variety of diff pu55y and having options.. bein gin the nightlife and feeling liike a pro when it came to game.. was picking up women anywhere everywhere, at what i thoguht was the peak of my game

3) Starting to understand even more about all the complex issues and types of personalities , psychology behind a vast majority of wome at this point, still learning new things that I didnt realize existed.. opening up to the ideas that eve Iwas vulnerable and that there will infact be women who dont like me as much as they might like someone else, and this was a very harsh reality for me to come to terms with.. while at the same time my game just becoming better and better, especially after my last relationship which ws quite hectic.. the only ex i didnt stay on good terms with.. Finally realizing what the end goal is and plans on eventually starting a family.. With this realization also came just wild happenings withw omen, almost like I developed some super powers to be able to pick and choose any chick i want to bone.. but coming to terms that if i continue on like this i would probably be in my 40s with no kids no family and just reminiscing over the glory days ..24-32 these are the years i stopped attracting toxic and weird chicks wiht issues and str8 beautiful, wholesome and good women inside and out.

The biggest mistake anyone can make about me is thinking that the road was easy.. Some things may have came easy for me in life but my life was full of adversity, trauma and alot of craziness... I didn't get to where I am just by skating down a hill.. There were many mountains to climb and difficult moments.

Settling down to me is a big deal. So much so that when I finally decided to and had that conversation with her and she cried because she felt we were on the same page and she was going to talk to me about the same thing, that it prompted me to cry as well. and it was weird as sh.t because I dont cry very often. I couldn't tell if i was happy, or sad about something or just surprised.. I think i was more surprised that this day would come. I think the fallacy is that I told myself it would be so hard for me to not sleep with other women for so long that i started to believe it.. but pickin up the phone and actually callling girls to let them know i was settlikng down wiht someone i cared about in front of her and some o fthem being happy for me, that was major. God blessed me to not only be able to sleep with tons of diff women but to have some good ass quality while at it....

but truth be told, if you read my last post about mindset.. It took for me to change myself and become a more disciplined and good person to reap good women in my life. Before i would always find something wrong with more than half the women I met or things would simply not last.

Always put God first, then have an open heart. At some point I was pretty cynical about women too in the sense that I saw most of them as hoes but Im glad i caught myself and was able to see that theres so many good women out there.

Out of all the women ive slept with in the past 2-3 years. (wouldnt even be able to count in all honesty), Its crazy to think that this girl had me wondering if she really liked me. the one girl who i wondered if she really liked me and was unsure about, was the girl I ended up choosing and finding out that she did infact like me in the way I liked her. I mean you would think "are you stupid? why wouldnt she like u and see you for close to 3 years" but you gotta understand when you been "casually dating" for so long, you never know. Ive lost more women than Most dudes meet. let that sink in. Unlike some people on here even if a owman has sex with me for along time i dont tell myself she loves me , i expect her to fall for me but the type of girls i end up liking are the ones who i dont know if they like me or not. the rest make it way to obvious and do whatever i say..

Anways Im def rambling now.. but yep going to work hard to stay loyal to this women and really take things further.

We all grow up at different ages.. I think im glad i finally decided to grow up. Im going to miss all the variety of pu55y though. You know its abd when before u go to sleep every night u think about and reminsce over diff moments you had with diff girls.. just to fall asleep.. dicc be harder than steel jus thinkin bout sht lol but i look forward to not bein so sexually charged up all the time.. will utilize that energy to really help those around me... i want all my friends and family to be the best they can be
Just a couple quick questions cus I remember you replying to some of my threads asking for advice.

1. Is that your physique in your prof pic?
2. Where are you located that you're having all this success? I have a hard time finding ONE 8, let alone multiple.
3. What would be your advice for guys who still want to be "a menace" as you put it? I don't have the same disdainful outlook on women as it seems you started out with, but I have zero interest in settling down with anybody anytime soon.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
1,060
Reaction score
832
Age
39
Hell, I would rather get divorced and pay the alimony then stick in a failed marriage with some psycho bvtch.
Bruh..

You've been spewing a lot of bullsh!t on here..

But..

This is the realest sh!t you ever said.

Hall of Fame quote.

And it resonated.

Thank you.
 

RazorRambo24

Banned
Joined
Dec 30, 2022
Messages
1,203
Reaction score
1,381
Age
32
Appreciate all the kind words. Life is a never ending journey and this is just a new phase in my life.. I know there might be a few challenges that arise in the transition but nothing is really that difficult when you have good communication skills, have great discipline, experience, moral integrity and razor sharp clarity.
 

BadBoy89

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2020
Messages
1,786
Reaction score
2,129
This mentality that you can just play forever is rooted in inceldom, I mean don't get me wrong, you are right, this forum is for that but there's also many members who are reaching a point where playing is no longer as satisfying as it once was, I'm 33 myself, I'm sure by probably 38 ill be feeling the same way.

One observation: Abundance isn't abundance anymore when all the options out there for you are sub par, doesn't really matter how much option you have when you reach that point, there's also the quality factor which we younger players have the luxury of not needing to interface with yet.
I think what he meant was the OPs previous posts and his decision now are incongruent.

OPs previous posts were major playing posts. He could pick up any hot girl he wanted, girls were harassing him for sex and wanted to get pregnant by him, he was the hottest man alive, They could have been, and probably were true.

But now when he comes in and says “I dropped every girl I was sleeping and found the love of my life and found God and now I’m spiritual” it’s a little hard to process.

A lot of non-players with low body counts know a woman can change her mind, destroy the man financially and emotionally with the help of her friends, society, and government, depending on how she feels or which way the wind blows. To put all stock in one woman after being such a major player, little naive.
 

RazorRambo24

Banned
Joined
Dec 30, 2022
Messages
1,203
Reaction score
1,381
Age
32
I think what he meant was the OPs previous posts and his decision now are incongruent.

OPs previous posts were major playing posts. He could pick up any hot girl he wanted, girls were harassing him for sex and wanted to get pregnant by him, he was the hottest man alive, They could have been, and probably were true.

But now when he comes in and says “I dropped every girl I was sleeping and found the love of my life and found God and now I’m spiritual” it’s a little hard to process.

A lot of non-players with low body counts know a woman can change her mind, destroy the man financially and emotionally with the help of her friends, society, and government, depending on how she feels or which way the wind blows. To put all stock in one woman after being such a major player, little naive.
I think only a person who hasn't read everything I've posted would think my attitude and decision are incongruent and that's totally fine. You can't expect people to read everything you write.. One of the FIRST POSTS I've had on this forum was me reflecting on my life and why I had alot of downfalls, karma, and hurting women, se.x addiction and how It was difficult to change but the strides I was making toward becoming a better person. SOme of my earliest posts on here were about how I was getting older andwas in the process of wanting to settle down, but the lifestyles I had adhered to for so long kept me in this cycle of abundance. It's hard to settle down when you are dealing with something you very much love and enjoy. Some call it being married to the game.. But I already had one foot out the door..


Im a gambling man. I bet she will cheat on you. Im not saying this to be negative but ive seen this story too many times where a guy thinks he found a great woman and pours his heart out then she crosses him in some way. Never put a woman on a pedestal. This is your wake up call buddy.
My dude, I was never afraid of a girl doing anything behind my back, what makes you think I'm suddenly going to fear that stuff now? when I'm at the utmost peak of my entire life.. :lol: That scarcity mindset will kill ya... You're feeding the wrong wolf.
 

Jesse Pinkman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 24, 2022
Messages
2,145
Reaction score
2,107
I think that there is a threshold that most men need to personally meet, at least for themselves, where they get laid but after a while, you have to get over it. I think that after you have had your fun, which is pretty key, it is time to go all in on settling down and going for a slower life. I turn 31 soon and tbh, I feel it. I dread going out some weekends and I dread living in a high cost of living city. After some point, I just want to settle down myself too. God Forbid I do this past the age of 35.
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,725
Reaction score
6,711
Age
55
To a man all the players I know either have checked in their player card already or want to. When you’ve bedded hundreds of different women and dealt with enough drama? It wears thin & gets old.

The point at which this happens varies widely. Some in their thirties, some in their 40’s, 50’s & 60’s. A bartender friend who was 27 wasn’t at work when my husband & I stopped in to see him. My husband last saw him on our wedding weekend. We asked & he had died the following week. It was very sad. He had chased women & gotten laid & partied all over the world. But he was empty inside. He died of an overdose.

Inner emptiness can kill you, literally. God rest my troubled friends soul.

So finding meaning in your life beyond spinning plates has great worth. Life is not all about getting laid, but guys who never do think it is. It’s not.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,286
Reaction score
11,249
I turn 31 soon and tbh, I feel it. I dread going out some weekends and I dread living in a high cost of living city.
In my late 20s, I was going through this. That's when I read Roosh's "Day Bang" and transitioned to being more of a primarily non-bar approacher. Nightlife approaching is harder on the body with the late nights and alcohol. Any man can make nightlife approaching a little easier by only approaching during weeknight happy hours, but it's still tough. Traditional daygame is inefficient, but it's possible to make it less taxing on the body when combining with it the gym/fitness classes. I have been known to do a good amount of fitness class approaching.

After some point, I just want to settle down myself too. God Forbid I do this past the age of 35.
I'm living the lifestyle at 40. It's better than being a married beta male.
 

Jesse Pinkman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 24, 2022
Messages
2,145
Reaction score
2,107
In my late 20s, I was going through this. That's when I read Roosh's "Day Bang" and transitioned to being more of a primarily non-bar approacher. Nightlife approaching is harder on the body with the late nights and alcohol. Any man can make nightlife approaching a little easier by only approaching during weeknight happy hours, but it's still tough. Traditional daygame is inefficient, but it's possible to make it less taxing on the body when combining with it the gym/fitness classes. I have been known to do a good amount of fitness class approaching.

I'm living the lifestyle at 40. It's better than being a married beta male.
As soon as I hit the big 3-0, I had to cut back hard on alcohol. I just had to. I used to binge drink a lot in college and my early 20s and looking back at it, made me feel like $hit the day after. In my 30s, I started to feel the effects even more and read about how alcohol can damage the liver so I minimize my drinking.
 
M

member162951

Guest
Hey congrats man, I'm happy for ya and don't question YOUR devotion for even a second. BUT I DO however question hers and here's why.

For 2.5 plus years she's been hanging with you, knowing full well you were dating, screwing other chicks and spinning plates. Apparently she was cool with it, no hassle. It might have even turned her on on some level, it's what kept her attracted to you and her V tingling

You gotta know this isn't standard from quality chicks who seek relationship and commitment no matter how much she digs you. Good high quality women don't hang around accepting that for 2.5+ years. She would have dumped you and sought a man on her own commitment-oriented wave length.

For example @BeExcellent who I consider a quality chick from reading her posts, would you have been cool with that situation, the guy your dating/screwing f*cking other women and spinning plates, for 2 and a half years?

Again I don't question your devotion and commitment, you've reached a place where you're ready for it and want it.

The real question is how's it gonna be for HER now that the dynamic has changed and you're all devoted to her and ready to commit? How will SHE handle that transition? It's something I'd be concerned about. Have you thought at all about that?
 
Last edited by a moderator:

BPH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
Messages
2,410
Reaction score
1,016
Location
Wilmington, DE
Imma repost this just cus it's been a few days...

Just a couple quick questions cus I remember you replying to some of my threads asking for advice.

1. Is that your physique in your prof pic?
2. Where are you located that you're having all this success? I have a hard time finding ONE 8, let alone multiple.
3. What would be your advice for guys who still want to be "a menace" as you put it? I don't have the same disdainful outlook on women as it seems you started out with, but I have zero interest in settling down with anybody anytime soon.
 

RazorRambo24

Banned
Joined
Dec 30, 2022
Messages
1,203
Reaction score
1,381
Age
32
The beginning of the end. Beginning of wife goggles and the OPs dopamine hit.
She's not special bro. Its in your head.
You sure are operating at a different level alright.
I thought religion was a rule breaker around here?

In that case may you be blessed in wife goggles. seriously
Idk where you got marriage from my decision to settle down and be exclusive to one girl but again... scarcity/fear based mindset .. feeding the wrong wolf.

Some people expect bad sht to happen.. others allowed themselves to prepare for a very long time for anything yet still dont expect anything but good sht to happen. Why? People like myself have a high level of control over my life.

External Locus of Control vs Internal. I hve an internal locus of control. Which means I know and believe that much of what happens in my life I am in control of.. whereas some believe life controls and dictates nearly everything that happens to them.
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,725
Reaction score
6,711
Age
55
It gets old as age. Women expire before men. Way before men
Depends on the individual. I’ve seem plenty of men who were once good looking become ugly AF in their 30s/40s/50s and onward.

I’ve seen women in their 20s who cannot compete with me in my 50s.

Im obviously an outlier and that’s fine. But this is a very individual thing.
 
Top