Everything you need to know about attraction.

[SmoothSmooth]

Disclaimer - this post is for those that seriously want to understand women and live a dating life of abundance. It is not for bitter men, or those who have given up.
This is also only for men that want to date women in their prime - objectively desireable, hot girls aged 18-25. For those who want older women, ignore this advice, as these women have 'had their fun' and are now looking for a provider.

I see comments on here and PUA circles like 'women aren't as visual as men', 'women don't care about money' 'older men cant date younger girls'...Please just shut up and use common sense. If women aren't doing interested in a mens looks or money, and aren't attracted to his maturity, then you are somewhat implying that women are interested in ugly broke immature men, which is clearly not the case. It is very obvious that most men in their 20s struggle to get any attention on the dating scene, and most average men settle with the first girlfriend they get find - so what classifies an 'average man' other than average looks and average money!

Understand this, women are selecting the future fathers of the next generation. If you don't think having a good looking and rich father isn't good for the kids, you are straight up deluded. If your father was better looking or richer, your life would have been much easier now. Becoming good with women is essentially nothing more than becoming the ideal 'dad' for kids one day. Every kid wants their dad to be a superhero-like figure, and im sorry to say that a fat, broke dad is not ideal.

So, what are women attracted to? Those that claim it's not looks and money, will talk about 'game'. But clearly, game isn't the solution. If it was, there wouldn't be a dating crisis right now. Every single PUA coach has pretty much gone out of business, and the ones in operation have very little evidence that their 'game' leads to REAL results. For example, RSD Todd has been shown to have a very mediocre looking girlfriend, that other dude on youtube 'playing with fire' - his girlfriend is looksmatched to him and again average looking, neil strauss's wife was nothing special and also divorced him. The truth is, most PUA's just show you evidence of ability to get numbers etc but anyone with experience will tell you that getting a number or talking to some drunk girls on a night out rarely just leads to anything the next day. Neil Strauss once bragged about getting Britney Spear's number...but who cares? So what? Probably just handed out his number because he was in Hollywood in the time and it's what women do. Women love to lead guys along. But look at the guys Britney actually dated - justin timberlake, kevin federline, sam asghari - you get the picture. It's funny because only on the internet do you see groups of men repeating sentiments like 'looks dont matter' or creating fables of 'what women really want is game'. But in the real world, nobody thinks thats. In the real world, when people see a good looking tall man, they automatically assume he is a heartbreaker or player. Because subconsciously, when we think of an attractive man - we think James Bond - looks, moeny and status. The fundamental flaw with all these 'game' coaches is that 'game' implies that the woman is already rejecting you and you need a tactic to raise her interest. For example 'text game' implies she is giving you bad replies and you need to somehow manipulate this dire situation of rejection into one of attraction. In reality, the top guys are starting from a place of attraction - women are selecting them and as a result, it is the woman who is fretting over writing the perfect text response (anyone with female friends will verify this - women will ask their friends for advice on what they should reply to their crush). The reality of an attractive guy is one where he rejects alot of women and also doesn't think through the lense of 'game' (raising interest) but rather preserving and mainting interest that is already there. Instead of teaching you how to become the attractive guy that women are excited to talk to and see, these coaches will act as you can remain unattractive and get results. However attraction is competitive and a woman will not disregard your out of shape body because you watched a few PUA videos. If she is a good looking girl that is surrounded by athletic men, an out of shape man will look like an anomaly to her and it will seem like there is something wrong with you.

People are attracted to the idea of game because it makes them feel better about themselves. Instead of realising she rejected you because you weren't attractive to her, you can blame your 'text game', watch some more videos that teach you how to text better and imagine that you just made a silly mistake and the next girl is gonna be yours because you've learnt the correct trick. From a logical standpoint, this is completely unsustainable. If she is selecting you based on your game or text skills then what happens when she actually has to spend time with you and the playbook runs out?

So...Let me tell you how it works. Men are naturally suited for polygamy. What that means is, we can 'settle' when it comes to sex. We don't look for the perfect woman to sleep with, we look for a girl that is good enough in that moment. We can bang JLO even though we think Beyonce has a better ass. We can bang the really hot girl despite her annoying habits. We can bang a 7/10 and feel good about it, because we know the next day we could get an 8.5/10...we can appreciate different things about different women and are generally way more realistic. Women on the other hand are suited for monogamy. What that means is, they look for the perfect man. Of course, this is very hard to find, so they go for the guy that is closest to the most perfect guy they can imagine - which is more of a holistic approach - ie the guy that ticks off the most boxes in the most categories. This is because, even in modern times, just being seen with the wrong guy can be detrimental to her social and sexual market value and a host of other reasons why it is better to just see one man for an extended period of time (even if casually). This dynamic underlies human mating and will never change.

So the aim is to know the categories/criteria that women are selecting for and max out as much as possible in each of them. No man will reach 100% in all, but as you start to improve in them one by one, you notice that dating because a whole lot easier. In fact, dating as you know it will completely change. You start seeing the hot women, that you once pedestalize and thought were totally alien, are infact just as sexually aggressive as men - and love sex like guys d0 - and will start to feel entitled to having you. Dating no longer becomes about finding sneaky ways to convince someone to like you, but rather a normal part of your social life. Because all these posts about ‘she is being hot/cold’ ‘she flaked’ ‘what should I reply’ just mean one thing - you’re not attractive enough. Attractive men do still get some **** tests, but they are minimal and only occur when they dynamic of attraction has already been established initially (in other words; you already know she wants you)

The beauty of it is that most men do not have this knowledge. They think either in blue pill terms, or they think women just one particular thing (eg looks, or money) and only max out one category. In reality, its better to be 50% across the board than 100% in just one category. So when you see 'that good looking guy that doesnt get girls' or 'that millionaire that cant get laid' its NOT BECAUSE GIRLS DONT LIKE LOOKS OR MONEY, its because those men did not have enough points in other categories to spark attraction. With women, being attractive is about having a vagina. With men, being attractive is about becoming a PACKAGE.

So let me breakdown the categories

1) Height
Forget what you heard online. Height is the first thing a woman notices on a man. This doesnt reflect on online dating, but online dating is not the real world. Iin the real world, we all know it. Height induces an immediate feeling of dominance to others around them. Its just a signal of good genes and you want taller kids. From a genetic perspective, things that are rare are more coveted - and tall men are by definition rare. So what is 'tall'? 6ft and above. It's almost like women can tell the difference between 5'11 and 6ft.

The good news is, if you don't have the height, just max out in the other categories. Remember, there is no 'perfect man' to a woman. Just the man that has the most points in the most categories at a given moment.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

2) Looks

Listen, looks are extremely important. From a social perspective - what represents you more than your body and face? There is a reason that when someone commits a crime, the police release a photograph for people to identify the criminal. Women are just as visual as men, if not more. In truth, a woman decides within 5 seconds if she finds you potentially dateable. If she does, she is open and warm. If she doesn't initially want to give you a shot, there is nothing you can do to change her opinion (remember this is for hot girls aged 18-25...less desirable women or older women may be more open to changing their minds). A lot of women will only go for a certain ‘type’ - ie race and facial type. So you need to find the ones that go for your type (they are out there). Some girls only find dark hair types attractive. Some prefer blonde. Some won’t date asian guys. Race definitely comes into it. When you get experience with women, you learn to read their body language - and the body language and vocal tone when a woman finds you physically attractive is completely different to when she doesnt. Cold appraoch works when a woman has an instant reaction like 'hes hot enought'.

This is not bad news - because women don't assess looks the same way men do. I would say the majority of men have the ability to become good looking enough to most hot women. Firstly the competition is not that strong. Alot of the 'best looking' men to women are actually gay or already taken.
So what is a Chad face? The blackpillers will talk about masculine features etc but this is not true. In reality, the hottest looking men have a mixture of masculine and feminine features. Remember what I said before - the rarer something is genetically, the more in demand it is - and a good balanced mix of masculine and feminine features is rarer than a straight out masculine looking face. Having some youthgul/feminine features is a sign of higher status - for reasons I cannot be bothered to go into. But look at most of the men women fawn over - the most important features are overall symmetry/harmony and eye area. Women will prefer a justin beiber type over a giga chad type. A unique mixture of soft and hard is ideal...girls notice things like eye colour and hair texture more than men do.

For those that aren't genetically gifted - you can at least aim to be a 6/10 facially. I have seen plenty of men level up. Women look at hair, teeth, skin with stronger detail than men do. These things can be easily fixed if you invest into proper care and diet. Hairstyle is huge - finding the right style for your face and making sure it's in line with the current trends. Even just growing a beard can turn a man from a 4 to 6...Most men do not pay attention to their looks so becoming above average is not that difficult. Go to the sauna/steam room, drink 3liters of water, work out daily, and most importantly get rid of face fat - the number one thing which makes you less hot. Teeth whitening/braces, dermapen microneedling, facials, acid peel etc all add points.
Remember its not about becoming a 10 in all categories, but maxxing as much as possible in as many as possible. If you can't grow a beard, minoxidil can help and give permanent results. If you want better skin, look into tretinoin, it's a miracle cream. Also learning how to have more relaxed and warm facial expressions can massively help.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

3) Strength



Every single '**** test' is a test of your emotional strength. Having a personality which is confident, cool and detached is ultimately something every man should aspire towards. On forums like this, guys reak with weakness and insecurity and off the bat I can tell that women will sense this. Beyond inner strength, having muscles and low body fat is a must if you want to date hotter women. You had your whole life to get in shape and you still haven't? Pathetic. Understand it is very, very difficult to get hot women - no matter how rich or good looking you are, without a body she can objectify and imagine being in bed with. She wants to run her fingers down your hard abs, feel your shoulders, and lust after you. When I got my body on point, that's when I noticed the upper caliber model type girls were now sending me heart eye emojis online etc. The thing is, most of the hottest women are gym maxxing like crazy. They go everyday, squat like crazy, eat very strict diets etc, if you think they are going to settle for a man that is out of shape and less motivated than them you are delusional. Disclaimer - you don’t need to be super big. Infact being big can be a turn off. You just need to be hot when you take your shift off. Aim for toned and low body fat.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

4) Career



This is one of the first things a woman asks when she meets you. It just makes sense. You tend to judge new people you meet by their career - for example if your neighbour is doctor, you refer to them as the 'doctor neighbour'. it just gives you an overall idea of the caliber of person you are dealing with. Every man should aspire to have an interesting and well paid career. It is also your biggest form of social proof. Let me tell you something, money is huge in dating. Lots of guys with the looks and body will not get results if they don't have the financial success aswell. Money will always be directly associated with masculinity. It's just the way it has always been. Even for a hookup, women will look down on a man without alot of money because it signals his lack of competitiveness for resources ie bad genes - in her eyes she will assume he is lazy, unintelligent or a joke. If a man has money and looks, she will overlook alot of other things because it provides a social halo. Now, some women with personality disorders will go for psycho men in the prison who are unemployed etc because like attracts like - water seeks its own level. But healthy women do not date serial killers. A man with looks and a good career can be hot to women into his 40s...there are 'hot professors' 'hot lawyers' 'hot personal trainers' all in their 40s that girls in their early 20s think about. Remember what I said earlier about being the best dad. You want to have kids with someone with good genes and lots of money so they can have an easy lifestyle.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

5) Status



This is the most abstract and relative category. It is also the one that PUAs focus on exclusively. Everything in the PUA community seems to focus around status, which is just a reflection of PUA's automatically being very low status creepy individuals. PUA trains men to think of every interaction with women as a status exchange, and to incorrectly think that every rejection is because they didn't manipulate their status enough in the eyes of the girl. The truth is, status is more of a vibe and when you have the other categories maxxed out, you don't need to rely on it as much. For example, if a guy is good looking and has money, his 'low status behaviours' are considered 'cute' but if the same guy is fat and broke, he is considered 'creepy'.



When it comes to the other categories, you can objectively measure yourself. We know what is objectively handsome and what is objectively rich. But status is vague. It's not like the old times when there was a clear tribal leader who had bigger feathers. Status to one girl, is not status to another girl. For example, to a girl in the hood, being a well known drug dealer could be big status. But to a corporate girl in Manhattan, being a drug dealer would be the lowest status. Being a guitar player in a rock band could be big status to an aspiring musician hipster type girl, but low status to a girl that goes to the gym everyday and likes athletes.



By living your most social, well rounded life (exploring and developing your passions, building social circles, having hobbies, having a career, travelling etc) you are bound to be gaining status towards different groups of women. As for becoming famous, or being the top top dog in some field - dont worry about it. It's not needed and does not have the biggest effect on women despite what people claim. yes famous musicians and actors get laid, but only really with women that are familiar with their work. being famous alone does not mean jack if the girl herself isn't into you to begin with, or you don’t tick her other categories. In the old days, status was a primarily masculine domain - but now there are just as many high status actresses and female singers and tik tok kids etc that being famous alone does not have the same effect as it once did. Now you get so many cases of women rejecting celebs or calling them out for harassment and being creeps.



Lets focus on which forms status are the most objective and will always reap universal rewards -



a) Looks and money in itself is a form of status. A good looking guy, to alot of woman, has 'assumed status' UNTIL he f*cks up and says something weird. This is because being a well put together man gives you status as a potential lover to women.

b) get good at something and show it off. Part of the allure of famous people is that they are assumed to be very good at something (whether it’s true or not is a different case). one of the prerequisite categories a lot of women require is a man who is skilled at something - often a sport, music, or career etc. if you can’t find something, learn to DJ or throw parties or something lower level.

b) clothing - designer clothes, being very well dressed. you will notice most chads imitate famous musicians in their clothing choices, wear rings, niche jewelry, cool trendy jackets etc are almost as obsessive about style as women are.

c) Lifestyle - travelling a lot, eating at the top restaurants, going to cool events, having a good social circle of other attractive people (make sure your social circle reflects well on you) - if your social circle is filled with average guys then you will be seen as average. assocaite with other socially and sexually succesful men.

d) location and property. this is huge. a guy who lives in Manhattan or London has more status to alot of women. a lot of the hottest women will not go for a guy that does not live or have a background from a desirable area. a guy who lives in tennessee has less status to most women for example. Along with ‘what do you do’ one of the first things a woman wants to know is ‘where are you from’…because they will be judging it! also living in a nice apartment/house. driving a nice car etc also conveys high status.

E) social media - having clout on social media does not do much for women (contrary to popularity belief) - women don’t particularly care for your follower count…but having a GOOD SOCIAL MEDIA - is a form of status women seem to value highly. Having dope photos, an interesting page, almost like a social CV is a prerequisite for a lot of hot girl.

and lastly

F) high status mannerisms - vocal tone, body language, texting late, being hard to reach, appearing busy, the conventional PUA knowledge is based on teaching high value behaviour - but IS ONLY USEFUL IF YOU ARE ALREADY CONSIDERED ATTRACTIVE TO HER. Notice how I have put this last on my list. Because its way more important to push yourself to max out as much as possible the categories above, and get into the top 20% of men, than learning how to look like a 'high status guy' when there is nothing behind it. In dating, a woman is building a relationship with a real tangible person, not a formless identity...these dating coaches overlook this. She wants bang for her buck. What are YOU really in essence? No amount of witty texts or 'game' can change the fact that you have nothing going on, but chad has a nice car, good body and interesting career.
Do you see how little importance ‘game’ has in grand scheme of things?

And there you go. This is almost everything you need to know about qualifying for a woman’s interest. The rest is just social basics of being able to keep the conversation flowing, not making sudden moves, not saying anything creepy or weird, not esclating too fast or too slow, and JUST LETTING NATURE/BIOLOGY handle the rest. Sexual reproduction is an act of nature. You just need to become the guy that women naturally lust for, the same way you lust for them. It may take a few years but it’s worth it.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

The key message - women will show interest in various guys for various reasons, but the guy a woman actually chooses to sleep with is the one who is usually overall least deficient in each category overall, rather than the one who is maxed out most in one or two categories. Being 60% in all the categories above >>>> being 90% in just two

 

[SmoothSmooth]

Finally I just wanna add that a lot of PUA coaches cater their teachings to attracting women with personality disorders, because the PUA’s themselves are either narcissists or sociopaths. Or they get results with low value/desperate women.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

Finally I just wanna add that a lot of PUA coaches cater their teachings to attracting women with personality disorders, because the PUA’s themselves are either narcissists or sociopaths. Or they get results with low value/desperate women.

This is just a reply to the whole message chain.

It's really good advice, and also people need to remember that women build connection through three things : how comfortable they are, association with positive emotions, and feeling like you can protect them.

So I would just add that being able to initiate and hold conversation is very important if you want things to move forward. That's why it should be practiced. You have to actually be able to talk to the women, to build connection with them, generally.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

This is just a reply to the whole message chain.

It's really good advice, and also people need to remember that women build connection through three things : how comfortable they are, association with positive emotions, and feeling like you can protect them.

So I would just add that being able to initiate and hold conversation is very important if you want things to move forward. That's why it should be practiced. You have to actually be able to talk to the women, to build connection with them, generally.

agreed, and conversation is much easier when she is actively trying. If you got the attraction on lock, she will cling onto your words and try to mirror you. Build the foundation. Talking to girls is really just listening 80% and steering her thoughts/emotions into interesting directions for the rest of 20%. Don’t need to say too much about yourself, it kills tension. when she considers you a good mate, she will usually just open up and it becomes pretty easy. Convo is hard when she’s closed off and not interested

 

[SmoothSmooth]

I wanna add, that pua is overly focused on the man’s needs (getting sex with a hot girl), not realising that reproduction is based around a woman’s needs (for a good mate). The hotter the girl, the higher her ability to fullfill that criteria and higher her expectations.

Pua and red pill mind games does NOTHING for a woman’s true biological needs, expect maybe girls with narcissistic personality disorders that are obsessed with status. Most pua culture is an obsession with constantly appearing high status or undermining the girls status with games (eg negs). Most women gravitate towards places and areas of status as a byproduct of it being a good place to meet men (as successful men are status driven), but status is not the end-all be-all for a normal womens attraction. Improving status helps, and is a pre-requist, but after a certain point nothing improved my success more than improving my looks. 6 figures and 6 pack trumps 7 figures and dad bod. Heck 6 figures and 6 pack trumps 10 figures and dad bod (she may choose the 10 figure guy to use him, but deep down will feel more primal attraction for 6 figs 6 pack)

 

[SargeMaximus]

So how did my broke and not good looking father get laid? Lmao

 

[SmoothSmooth]

So how did my broke and not good looking father get laid? Lmao

I don’t know - was your mom aged 19-25 and an 8+ in looks?
Was your dad her first choice and perceived as a lover or was it provider game?
Did your dad have consistent success with women or was it a one off?
were they living in the era of social media and feminism?

contingent factors my friend.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

Also

I wanna add, that pua is overly focused on the man’s needs (getting sex with a hot girl), not realising that reproduction is based around a woman’s needs (for a good mate). The hotter the girl, the higher her ability to fullfill that criteria and higher her expectations.

Pua and red pill mind games does NOTHING for a woman’s true biological needs, expect maybe girls with narcissistic personality disorders that are obsessed with status. Most pua culture is an obsession with constantly appearing high status or undermining the girls status with games (eg negs). Most women gravitate towards places and areas of status as a byproduct of it being a good place to meet men (as successful men are status driven), but status is not the end-all be-all for a normal womens attraction. Improving status helps, and is a pre-requist, but after a certain point nothing improved my success more than improving my looks. 6 figures and 6 pack trumps 7 figures and dad bod. Heck 6 figures and 6 pack trumps 10 figures and dad bod (she may choose the 10 figure guy to use him, but deep down will feel more primal attraction for 6 figs 6 pack)

Also making sure you have a good diet is key. Testosterone and seretonin are key things you need to be creating in your body.

Seretonin is the best hormone for keeping frame and being super chill, unaggressive and dominant. Anger is garbage. Anger is basically saying 'I can't cope'.

Seretonin also makes you much better at reading other people's emotions, so you can tell if your words are starting to lose her much more easily. Having healthy seretonin is basically steroids for your game. If you have a unhealthy level of seretonin than your just not going to be good with women.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I don’t know - was your mom aged 19-25 and an 8+ in looks?
Was your dad her first choice and perceived as a lover or was it provider game?
Did your dad have consistent success with women or was it a one off?
were they living in the era of social media and feminism?

contingent factors my friend.

He fathered me and my two brothers and was an abusive and homicidal maniac

 

[DonJuanjr]

If you have a unhealthy level of seretonin than your just not going to be good with women.

It's OVER for UnBalancedSerotoninCels

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

If all this is true then how come India has a population over a billion people and those guys dont have most of this stuff. They dont even bodybuild or worry about this stuff yet they are getting women and making babies like rabbits in India. Im not buying into this.

Cause most Indian people are in India so they just deal with Indian people. And I'm just guessing but I'm assuming that they don't have widespread access to birth control.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

If all this is true then how come India has a population over a billion people and those guys dont have most of this stuff. They dont even bodybuild or worry about this stuff yet they are getting women and making babies like rabbits in India. Im not buying into this.

Because my post is about becoming a Chad like figure that has hot sophisticated western girls aged 19-25 chasing you for casual encounters. I’m that guy. It’s less than 1% of the population. I don’t care about random couples in India, this isn’t about that. This forum is for aspiring playboys.

 

[pipeman84]

I agree with the points made by OP ... how can one be against advice to do what it takes to become the best version of yourself. I'll make two comments:
1. intent makes all the difference. In other words, the actions listed by OP have to be the outer expressions of a sincere inner wish to improve. If a guy is going through the motions with the goal to attract chicks, he'll end up the frustrated rich gymcel who still won't have genuine success with women ... like attracts like, but that's a function of the core being, not the outer appearances. So he'll attract hot girls but they will be gold diggers and gym crazy women with more baggage than a truck.
2.

The thing is, most of the hottest women are gym maxxing like crazy. They go everyday, squat like crazy, eat very strict diets etc, if you think they are going to settle for a man that is out of shape and less motivated than them you are delusional.

I think they gym maxx as a form of self medication ... that and IG presence are big red flags.