Beware the attention *****, the female equivalent of creepiness (story time)

[Bingo-Player]

Women like this are energy vampires that are toying with men for NO reason. I partially question if they are even aware of their own behavior, so naturally they have this act on repeat over and over.

They are more than aware , remember men have to approach women have to reciprocate

If you are a woman your going to have a very hard time reciprocating to a guy that you have known all of 5 mins

Yes there may very well have been some physical attraction there but this is only a very very small part of the equation especially when you are dealing with women whom are very attractive & fit themselves ( which gym girls usually are)

they want to know what you are made of , how masculine and dominant are you ? , are you going to change your frame because she's giving you a hard time ? , are you capable of leading her ?

A lot of women want to know these details and the only real way of getting answers is by playing these little games

The solution is to always remain in your frame , set your intentions clear and do not waver them

If you read your post back your just dancing to her tune , everything is on her terms

Also with gym girls you NEVER go for the number straight away , because chances are she will blow you out and then it gets hella awkward and once things get awkward there's absolutely no recovering it with a woman

Social media first , suss her out a bit yourself it builds familiarity and you can go from there

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm currently dealing with a 7.5/8 in my own gym , ive seen her there a lot there's been a couple of glances and wry smiles and eventually I made my move but I made sure I had context to the interaction so it wasn't awkward

she had something in a bottle and asked if it was a pre workout

From there I was able to build the conversation out and get her instagram

Rather than just charging up and demanding her number without us knowing a single thing about each other

We have since chatted a bit both on insta and in the gym , she's warming too me soon I will suggest we have a training session together and after that I will suggest ****tails

Sometimes route 1 bull in a china shop method isn't the best method

 

[MtmVaott]

This is your problem. You don't see the reasons. Step out of your rational mind. Reasons are not always as rational as you want them to be.

IHAB means I'm not available now, but I'm on the lookout. Women who are in a serious relationship won't flirt with you, only the ones that are always looking for greener pastures are. They are intrigued as long as you don't pay them attention ("does he not see my perky b00bs?), but the moment you show interest they backpedal because they don't want to appear like they would cheat on their boyfriend / husband.
If you had maintained aloofness, she would've escalated until she was sure she could have you, then knock it down a peg again, because all she wants to know is if she's still marketable.

OK that's something I didn't know

What would have you done in OPs case? Called her out?

 

[LTG71]

Women who are in a serious relationship won't flirt with you, only the ones that are always looking for greener pastures are.

because all she wants to know is if she's still marketable.

Facts, have seen this done by certain women.
“I wanted to see if I still had it.”
Real nice, what if your husband or boyfriend hit on some other women for the same reason? Probably would go over like a fart in church.

Remember we are not dealing with rational beings. Some women will wear a low cut top and a bra that chokes her with cleavage and then will complain that men look at her boobs.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What would have you done in OPs case? Called her out?

I would've ignored her until she approached me, but I don't go to gyms.
I don't approach women. They tend to approach me, but I'm not that interested. I have sex on a regular basis with several women, so I'm not looking for more.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Real nice, what if your husband or boyfriend hit on some other women for the same reason? Probably would go over like a fart in church.

Even if you're not hitting on other women, some women will feel threatened by any woman paying attention to you. Ignore.

 

[LTG71]

Even if you're not hitting on other women, some women will feel threatened by any woman paying attention to you. Ignore.

Just the idea that they might lose your resources makes them uncomfortable, aka passive dread.

 

[RazorRambo24]

This thread should be a lesson for any guy who meets a girl who makes it clear they arent interested in you. Its important to never lose frame. Especially with women you have nothing with. Thats the most embarassing. If you dont want to come off as an AFC like OP, simply ignore her and dont entertain her after the rejection. A girl being friendly does not mean shes into you. Women in relationships will often be the most friendliest becsuse now that they locked down a man they like they dont have the weird pressures of worrying about socializing with guys and wondering if the guy is secretly into her or about reciprocating feelings that arent there.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

passive dread.

Dread is mostly passive, but it's a good term.

One of my kittens feels passive dread about women approaching me, but I explained to her that most of the women who approach me are not interested in giving me attention, but they want to draw attention to themselves because I haven't validated their presence. If a woman gets used to being the center of male attention, not getting that attention urges them to approach in order to be noticed (and hopefully get validated). And the more aloof you are when a woman approaches, the more she'll ramp up the flirting - especially when there are other women present.

 

[SW15]

After this interaction this woman was going OUT of her way to say hi and bye to me, would flirtatiously wave to me, talk to me, smile, etc. At the beginning I was a bit confused by it but then figured maybe she possibly changed her mind. This went on for a couple months and I'd probably run into her about once per week or so, so this happened multiple times.

The 'hi' and 'bye' after rejections wouldn't been considered attention whorring alone. There's a case to be made it was being cordial. However, I think if there was flirtatious waving and smiling, those are non-verbals that could be legitimately interpreted as attention whorring. There would be reason to feel confused.

A girl being friendly does not mean shes into you. Women in relationships will often be the most friendliest becsuse now that they locked down a man they like they dont have the weird pressures of worrying about socializing with guys and wondering if the guy is secretly into her or about reciprocating feelings that arent there.

I don't think women in relationships are friendly. When I do approaches outdoors and inside indoor retail venues, a lot of my conversations fizzle out in 30-60 seconds or less. A lot of these women are women in relationships but they aren't saying in 30-60 seconds that they are in relationships. Their disinterest in engaging is often a sign of the fact that they are in relationships. It's likely that a few of the women who had conversations with me that fizzled in 30-60 seconds were unattached, but I strongly believe that's the minority of cases.

If you dont want to come off as an AFC like OP, simply ignore her and dont entertain her after the rejection. A girl being friendly does not mean shes into you.

I like full ignore mode.

Some guys will get a secondary gym membership, buy class packages from a studio, or use ClassPass. ClassPass can enable you to take fitness classes at multiple places, which is very good for a seducer who wants to get in and out and limit potential messes. Any of these solutions can help avoid uncomfortable situations at a primary gym caused by approaches or relationships gone bad.

No one commented on the idea of a secondary gym membership for approaches. I used this tactic at one point in the 2010s, where I bought a class package from a studio and made appearances there to supplement my main gym approaches. A guy could only do approaches at the secondary facility.

I stopped doing that because I thought it was too much effort and decided that my own primary gym was good enough grounds for approaching.

Also, @sangheilios did the approach we're talking about that happened in 2018 on the general gym floor. The general gym floor is more difficult for approaching than fitness classes. I prefer fitness classes to the general gym floor for approaches.

There is a main SoSuave article that touts fitness classes too.

A Gold Mine of Beautiful Girls

20 girls for every one guy. And almost all of them are supermodel beautiful.

www.sosuave.com

 

[pipeman84]

Going back to 2018, I was at a gym that I attended regularly and there was this woman I had seen there semi regularly for several months

I approach and we interact for a few minutes and it was a bit awkward but I decided to try to close, to which she says "I have a boyfriend'. I then say "Ok, well it was nice to meet you" and I then go about my day.

What exactly do you mean by 'try to close'? Get her number, ask her out on a date? Why act in such a hurry without first building rapport? You'd seen her for months, it's not like it was your only day in town. Had you taken it slowly, you would've found out through organic conversation she has a boyfriend.

After this interaction this woman was going OUT of her way to say hi and bye to me, would flirtatiously wave to me, talk to me, smile, etc. At the beginning I was a bit confused by it but then figured maybe she possibly changed her mind. This went on for a couple months and I'd probably run into her about once per week or so, so this happened multiple times.

Without video and audio evidence, we can't tell if she was really flirtatious or just friendly.

One time she is interacting with me and I asked her if she was free later and then she says "Don't you remember what I told you last time?" lol. I was immediately thinking "Did this woman seriously go through this entire charade for just attention?". I made an effort to leave the interaction without getting confrontational about it and figured just leaving on a friendly note was in my best interest.

What does interacting mean, precisely? Did she ask how many sets you have left on the machine or suchlike and you took it as strong IOI to ask her out?
Regardless, at this point, after her answer, it should've been clear that you should just ignore her.

A week later I was walking down one of the aisles between the machines and by chance walked by a machine she was sitting on. I figured just continuing to be friendly was a good idea and I said "Hey, how's it going". She literally just sat there at the machine and gave me this one word answer "good" and just awkwardly stared at me to make me uncomfortable.

WHY? As if she was the only girl left on the planet. Totally self inflicted.

 

[SW15]

Had you taken it slowly, you would've found out through organic conversation she has a boyfriend.

I can vouch for doing this. There have been instances in life where I heard through organic conversation about a boyfriend. It usually happens through use of the pronoun "we" in a sentence, though in many cases it can be beneficial to ask for a definition of who "we" is. In that case, you don't ever ask her out and it doesn't count as a rejection.

Another method I've used to reduce rejections is the quick hand glance. A quick hand glance has prevented me from making approaches when I saw a wedding ring. This tactic has served me well in grocery stores, malls, and even in common areas of office buildings where I've worked. Hitting on women who work in the same office building but work for a different company can be a good way to arrange dates. It's best done in bigger buildings (10+ stories in the building/complex) where regular contact would be improbable.

I disagree with the tactic of slow playing gyms. Gyms have high membership turnover rates. It's unknown if a woman will stop going to that gym within 1 week of a seducer spotting her at the gym. Therefore, the seducer on the prowl must strike quickly before she changes membership to another gym.

I don't think it is worth transferring my own membership to a different gym over failed approaches for first dates. It is uncomfortable to be reminded of a failed approach at the gym, but it is manageable. The worse outcome at the gym is getting the date and having the interaction fail in 1-2 dates without sex and she ghosts or send the common weak text of "I enjoyed our time together but do not see this going anywhere". Even worse than that is the failed situationship or failed extended 6+ month relationship formed through the gym. The scenario of a failed situationship or failed relationship from the gym will usually lead at least one person to go find another gym membership.

 

[corrector]

This is your problem. You don't see the reasons. Step out of your rational mind. Reasons are not always as rational as you want them to be.

IHAB means I'm not available now, but I'm on the lookout. Women who are in a serious relationship won't flirt with you, only the ones that are always looking for greener pastures are. They are intrigued as long as you don't pay them attention ("does he not see my perky b00bs?), but the moment you show interest they backpedal because they don't want to appear like they would cheat on their boyfriend / husband.
If you had maintained aloofness, she would've escalated until she was sure she could have you, then knock it down a peg again, because all she wants to know is if she's still marketable.

He needs to learn the meaning of the word finesse (verb).

 

[Gamisch]

LOL

Op is one of those members who I cant ever have a convo with..there are more like that, all desperate p00sy beggars. I wont call them out by name yet. These men avoid me like the plague, probably because I can be cut throat and I've once said he was BShyting about something. Great to see that one of my favorite posters calls him out haha. I will give some advice and my opinion knowing already OP will ignore it..that's oke you lil bi*tch.

now we got that (frustration from my side) out of the way, let me chime in.;

-first of all when will we men understand that NO , a woman simply talking to you means absolutely nothing. Flirting also means nothing. Women flirt and seek attention ALL the time. She knows we wi stare at those perky b00bs, big azz ect. Its called LIFE. Especially when you are a dope man lookking fly..

- who the hell remembers a flirtatious girl from 6(!!!!) years ago?? I am in situations like this on a daily , minus the begging for her number and getting pushed back like a disobedient dog.

- the most important part: its PERFECTLY FINE for her to reject you, while she still chases you. Matter a fact, thats called The Game. Millions of women been fecked by men they've rejected at first. Its your job to maintain FRAME, no matter what. What frame? Thats on you. Thats why I made the thread about different personalities, but y'all MF's just don't get it...perhaps you apply the the "friendly dude frame" , or the Arrogant Dude frame ect. Whatever you pick, you hotta be congruent with it.

-there is no female equivalent to the male creep. Most men won't ever have any woman desperately trying to get with them after /while they have to reject them..amd if uiu did or do ,you'd know it always kinda hurts to reject a woman because they ABSOLUTELY can't deal with it.

Life isnt fair,deal with it. Man the F up.

 

[corrector]

Another method I've used to reduce rejections is the quick hand glance. A quick hand glance has prevented me from making approaches when I saw a wedding ring.

Not everybody that has a wedding ring is married though. In my profession, I will say that I encountered two women, one who was seperated and another that was divorced. I asked why they both had wedding rings. They told me that it adds to their business credibility as a woman to have a wedding ring so guys won't be overly flirtatious with them and get that they are about business. Just the other day I spoke with a mortgage agent that had a wedding ring and she never mentioned the term "husband", she mentioned the term "partner" which could be a subtle hint that she is available and the ring may not mean she's actually married.

It comes like someone is wearing heardphones or looking at their smartphone who is single. They don't want to be disturbed by guys, or want to be flirted with and comes like a more visual "I have a boyfriend", or "I'm not available", rather than "I'm married/have a husband". Therefore, it is still up to the guy to do some probing and confirm that she is really married rather than make assumptions.

 

[sangheilios]

This is your problem. You don't see the reasons. Step out of your rational mind. Reasons are not always as rational as you want them to be.

IHAB means I'm not available now, but I'm on the lookout. Women who are in a serious relationship won't flirt with you, only the ones that are always looking for greener pastures are. They are intrigued as long as you don't pay them attention ("does he not see my perky b00bs?), but the moment you show interest they backpedal because they don't want to appear like they would cheat on their boyfriend / husband.
If you had maintained aloofness, she would've escalated until she was sure she could have you, then knock it down a peg again, because all she wants to know is if she's still marketable.

Bro.......wtf are you talking about? This woman did NOT have a boyfriend and was interested in using me for validation and attention. Do you not understand what attention whoring is? Have you never experienced it?

 

[sangheilios]

They are more than aware , remember men have to approach women have to reciprocate

If you are a woman your going to have a very hard time reciprocating to a guy that you have known all of 5 mins

Yes there may very well have been some physical attraction there but this is only a very very small part of the equation especially when you are dealing with women whom are very attractive & fit themselves ( which gym girls usually are)

they want to know what you are made of , how masculine and dominant are you ? , are you going to change your frame because she's giving you a hard time ? , are you capable of leading her ?

A lot of women want to know these details and the only real way of getting answers is by playing these little games

The solution is to always remain in your frame , set your intentions clear and do not waver them

If you read your post back your just dancing to her tune , everything is on her terms

Also with gym girls you NEVER go for the number straight away , because chances are she will blow you out and then it gets hella awkward and once things get awkward there's absolutely no recovering it with a woman

Social media first , suss her out a bit yourself it builds familiarity and you can go from there

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm currently dealing with a 7.5/8 in my own gym , ive seen her there a lot there's been a couple of glances and wry smiles and eventually I made my move but I made sure I had context to the interaction so it wasn't awkward

she had something in a bottle and asked if it was a pre workout

From there I was able to build the conversation out and get her instagram

Rather than just charging up and demanding her number without us knowing a single thing about each other

We have since chatted a bit both on insta and in the gym , she's warming too me soon I will suggest we have a training session together and after that I will suggest ****tails

Sometimes route 1 bull in a china shop method isn't the best method

I've had several gym approaches and literally none of them amounted to anything and all but 1 actually turned out to be terrible experiences for me. The one that was not a bad experience was a brief interaction that didn't play out that well and I immediately ejected myself, this in 2017. This woman afterwards would stare at me blatantly to get my attention like she wanted me to approach, I'm talking like I'm standing someplace and she is making direct eye contact with me from not that far away. I just ignored it because I was not interested in being strung along.

All of the other situations though involved women that were going out of their way to lead me on, flirt, talk to me, ask me out, etc.

I think the problem with the gym environment though is the possibility of running into them semi regularly and it turning into an awkward scenario. What I ended up learning from my experience is that the gym environment is a terrible place to try to approach or meet women.

You should also factor in that this is coming from a white man that is 6'4", 235 and one of the fittest guys you'd see at any gym. If a guy like me has had bad experiences in a gym environment that should say a lot, unless of course I was just incredibly unlucky.

The gym environment, especially more recently, is filled with "gym thots" that are obsessed with instagram. These women have programmed themselves to seek as much attention as possible. This should definitely be on your mind whenever approaching in the gym.

 

[SW15]

This woman did NOT have a boyfriend and was interested in using me for validation and attention. Do you not understand what attention whoring is? Have you never experienced it?

The boyfriend may or not have been real, which is why every man needs to use a boyfriend destroyer line when hearing about a boyfriend. Though, the best use to destroy a boyfriend is objectively having higher value than the boyfriend. As a 6'4" man with big muscles, you could make a good claim that you had higher value than the boyfriend.

After the IHAB, you must completely ignore. But all IHABs need a boyfriend destroyer.

If you don't believe the boyfriend was real, deploying a boyfriend destroyer would have been applicable. Boyfriend destroyer lines are meant to call out women for the phony boyfriend excuse or show that you have objectively higher value than a real boyfriend. At 6'4" and 220+ with big muscles, you have that going for you.

You should also factor in that this is coming from a white man that is 6'4", 235 and one of the fittest guys you'd see at any gym. If a guy like me has had bad experiences in a gym environment that should say a lot, unless of course I was just incredibly unlucky.

The gym environment, especially more recently, is filled with "gym thots" that are obsessed with instagram. These women have programmed themselves to seek as much attention as possible. This should definitely be on your mind whenever approaching in the gym.

It is surprising that you aren't a top seducer at the gym as a 6'4", 235 lbs fit guy with big muscles. The more average height guy and average-slightly above average size muscle guy is likely having challenges capturing attention at the gym.

I've noticed a few "gym thots" at my gym. I've seen women at my gym who were top 5% fitness gals taking pics and video for Instagram while in the free weights/barbells section of my gym. All the "gym thot" women have dressed seductively too while taking their pics and video for Instagram and possibly even OnlyFans.

 

[sangheilios]

No bro its not, women with bfs and husbands also flirt with other guys , its "not cheating and "fun" for them. She wasn't interested, but since you "presumed" she saying hello and bye in a girly playful way was interested in you, you made it awkward. Women talk, she's definitely gonna talk with other girls about you being the creep stalker guy in the gym

Creepy stalker? No bro, this woman was going out of her way to approach me, interact with me, flirt, etc.

For instance, when after I said "Ok, well it was nice to meet you" I went back to what I was doing, which was stretching. She then proceeds to leave and walks by me, waves and says "byeee" literally a few minutes later. There was no reason for the interaction to continue at all, let alone for this to occur for weeks and months afterwards. This isn't some she smiled at me once scenario, this woman was literally approaching me and having conversations with me at certain points, I'm not talking **** like "are you using this machine".

Do you people have reading comprehension issues or something?

 

[sangheilios]

What exactly do you mean by 'try to close'? Get her number, ask her out on a date? Why act in such a hurry without first building rapport? You'd seen her for months, it's not like it was your only day in town. Had you taken it slowly, you would've found out through organic conversation she has a boyfriend.


Without video and audio evidence, we can't tell if she was really flirtatious or just friendly.


What does interacting mean, precisely? Did she ask how many sets you have left on the machine or suchlike and you took it as strong IOI to ask her out?
Regardless, at this point, after her answer, it should've been clear that you should just ignore her.

WHY? As if she was the only girl left on the planet. Totally self inflicted.

So, I meant ask for her number.

Jesus christ how do you guys not get it? She didn't have a boyfriend and was looking for another orbiter to milk for attention lol.

As for the interactions. It included her going out of her way to say hi and bye to me but also approaching me and having actual conversations with me. Stuff like approaching me and saying "Hey, how's it going" and then proceeding to have a conversation with me while smiling the entire time. This is NOT an environment where there was any need for further interaction, this was a very large commercial gym with tons of space and equipment. We were NOT friends, acquaintances, coworkers, classmates, etc. This was a woman that was going OUT of her way to interact with me and encourage me to interact with her. The simple answer is because she liked the attention, how do you guys not understand this?

Side note to this, a few months after I stopped talking to that woman there was this guy that said he had noticed us interacting and asked me about her. Anyway, he basically said that she did something similar to him, where she gave him his phone number and would flirt with him like she did with me.

 

[sangheilios]

This thread should be a lesson for any guy who meets a girl who makes it clear they arent interested in you. Its important to never lose frame. Especially with women you have nothing with. Thats the most embarassing. If you dont want to come off as an AFC like OP, simply ignore her and dont entertain her after the rejection. A girl being friendly does not mean shes into you. Women in relationships will often be the most friendliest becsuse now that they locked down a man they like they dont have the weird pressures of worrying about socializing with guys and wondering if the guy is secretly into her or about reciprocating feelings that arent there.

No, this thread should be a warning of the issues of approaching in a gym environment and how to spot the signs of attention whoring from creepy inconsiderate women there with poor social skills.