Cheating confrontation - male side

[Objective]

Hey there,

Recently I was trying to build myself some sort of roster of chicks I was meeting and having intercourse with. I actually succeeded and managed to gradually expand my roster to four chicks. I will spare the details but two of those found out and formed some sort of coalition to confront me about it. I scheduled a meeting with one of them, let her in my apartment and saw the other one coming too - I knew it was the time to face them.

I would like to note that the whole operation wasn't executed properly. I did give those 2 hopes for a mid or long-term relationship, lying to one of them that she is the only one I am meeting. They decided to get some revenge on me, understandably. What they did is they messaged some chicks that followed me on ig from a fake account to inform them that I was meeting with multiple women at the same time. Their explanation was that they wanted to protect other women from psychopats.

I thought the whole situation through and have many conclusions, most of them can be put into "how not to do it" category and I want to be clear about this post: I wanted to get to know your perspectives on how would you act in such circumstances. Imagine you were as careless or rather unexperienced as me and didn't prevent such turn of events.

I've been searching reddit of all kinds, the internet as a whole and some more sophisticated information sources such us this forum or some red pill themed youtube channels but I haven't found much useful information. Obviously, the vast majority of them refered to a woman that cheated on her partner. Of those that refer to my situation, most of them sources contain some ways of maintaining a relationship with your one and only partner while disregarding the one you (as a male) cheated with. This kind of information doesn't interest me since I do not intend to keep any of those chicks.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Keep your social media presence to zero. What happened to you could not occur to me. I know the idea of keeping off socials is unfathomable to you younger folks, but it's the simplest solution to your issue. And do not promise monogamy to women if you're unwilling to practice it.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

This is an easy one. Why lie? Just be up front that you're not looking for anything serious. Otherwise if you are caught lying, you will be confronted. I never lie to women. They respect it. 80+ notches, never lied.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Keep your social media presence to zero. What happened to you could not occur to me. I know the idea of keeping off socials is unfathomable to you younger folks, but it's the simplest solution to your issue. And do not promise monogamy to women if you're unwilling to practice it.

Yep. I was on SM. At one point my ex-s & currents started contracting each other. I got off & never looked back.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I scheduled a meeting with one of them, let her in my apartment and saw the other one coming too - I knew it was the time to face them.

Nah, bro. It was threesome time. You didnt play your cards right.

 

[Objective]

This is an easy one. Why lie? Just be up front that you're not looking for anything serious. Otherwise if you are caught lying, you will be confronted. I never lie to women. They respect it. 80+ notches, never lied.

Well the full story is that on our second or third date, I dont remember, when she was at my place, we got more intimate - no intercourse tho, and then she started crying and saying something along the lines "I was hurt before please don't hurt me, I don't want men to see only sex in me". Of course, her IG contains many posts that indicate 304. I was taken by surprise and I told her what she wanted to hear. Only later did it hit me that she basically manipulated me emotionally. I do not deny my responsibility to say no in such case. I have never faced such thing in my life so I didn't know what to do. Later, when I realised my stupidity and her not-so-elaborate manipulation, I didn't intend to keep my promise at all.

 

[Objective]

Nah, bro. It was threesome time. You didnt play your cards right.

Fair point. I knew I lied to one of them and I knew their perspective well. That's why the only thing that came to my mind when I saw both of them was that I have to face the consequences. So naturally, I got stressed and didn't even think that I can pull such thing off.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Well the full story is that on our second or third date, I dont remember, when she was at my place, we got more intimate - no intercourse tho, and then she started crying and saying something along the lines "I was hurt before please don't hurt me, I don't want men to see only sex in me". Of course, her IG contains many posts that indicate 304. I was taken by surprise and I told her what she wanted to hear. Only later did it hit me that she basically manipulated me emotionally. I do not deny my responsibility to say no in such case. I have never faced such thing in my life so I didn't know what to do. Later, when I realised my stupidity and her not-so-elaborate manipulation, I didn't intend to keep my promise at all.

Thats funny, what kind of things told u she was a 304? But its all good, thats a respectable mistake. But the fact that she started crying is already a red flag. Crocodile tears. never trust a womans tears especially if they come through to make u take action. The only time my ex cried was when i spanked her too hard one time, nothing a few caresses cant handle. When little kids cry, its usually cuz they want something from the parent. Cant trust it.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Next time you try polyamory, don't tell women you're monogamous.

 

[Objective]

Thats funny, what kind of things told u she was a 304?

Clubbing every now and then, sexually appealing photos on a public ig profile, so available to everybody, posting a video of herself dancing on a table in a restaurant or club, dressed in such a way to draw attention of other males. Two dates and she was already mentioning that she was horny and we haven't had sex yet, sending nude photos if I asked. Some other behaviours that indicate a certain level of being promiscuous. Of course, there are levels to being a 304, my judgement was she belongs into that category yet still I can imagine there are many more 304s that make her behaviour look like she was a pure virgin.
PS
Crocodile tears, accurate.

 

[parabellum]

what has worked for me in the past is to tell them that I am seeing someone else or even two more ppl. No excuses. Let them talk. Then I’ve said, I’m just playing all my options (which is true), if you want me to commit to you I need more time.

if they are really into you they will give you some time. Some if them might even compete sexually to win you over the other girls.

Slight downside is that they will bring up the issue every 2-3months and will eventually cut ties with you if you don’t commit. Can’t blame them, I just have said: Thank you for playing and good luck finding what you want.

+1 to being low key in social media. I’ve mentioned this in other post, if you’re playing multiple girls, don’t post any compromising pictures with any of them in social media. Don’t let friends of your gfs follow you randomly, they most likely just want to spy and gossip on you.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

These chicks are just raising your SMV plain and simple, the issue is that you lied about your intent in order to get some dussy.

Abundance mindset is about being able to walk away at any time, for any reason.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Clubbing every now and then, sexually appealing photos on a public ig profile, so available to everybody, posting a video of herself dancing on a table in a restaurant or club, dressed in such a way to draw attention of other males. Two dates and she was already mentioning that she was horny and we haven't had sex yet, sending nude photos if I asked. Some other behaviours that indicate a certain level of being promiscuous. Of course, there are levels to being a 304, my judgement was she belongs into that category yet still I can imagine there are many more 304s that make her behaviour look like she was a pure virgin.
PS
Crocodile tears, accurate.

At the very least, you could forgive yourself for treating her the way you did. She's not a super good girl. She's at minimum very internally conflicted about her own sexual urges/desire for attention/validation. But it doesn't pay to lie. Some guys however are good at maintaining ambiguity. I wish I had that skill more. I personally like to tell girls Im not looking for anything serious which seems to backfire quite often.

 

[Objective]

At the very least, you could forgive yourself for treating her the way you did. She's not a super good girl. She's at minimum very internally conflicted about her own sexual urges/desire for attention/validation. But it doesn't pay to lie. Some guys however are good at maintaining ambiguity. I wish I had that skill more. I personally like to tell girls Im not looking for anything serious which seems to backfire quite often.

Maintaining ambiguity and living a lie differ much tho. I was able not to lie to one of those chicks yet still not give clear vision whether we do monogamy or not. She was asking that question "between the lines" and I was maneuvering.
How do they react when you tell them that it won't be serious between y'all?

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Maintaining ambiguity and living a lie differ much tho. I was able not to lie to one of those chicks yet still not give clear vision whether we do monogamy or not. She was asking that question "between the lines" and I was maneuvering.
How do they react when you tell them that it won't be serious between y'all?

This kind of reminds me of how Rollo talks about covert non-exclusivity. This sounds good in theory but is difficult in real life in my experience. I think that my vibe is overall kind of a BF one. I have a tough time seeing myself as a lover and owning that role. I don't know. When i tell them it won't be serious, they are usually understanding but there's always that sad moment. It makes **** uncomfortable at leat for the rest of the date. Then I either hear back from them or not.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

My suggestion is to get them hooked on the sex FIRST, then make it clear what the deal is.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

My suggestion is to get them hooked on the sex FIRST, then make it clear what the deal is.

Yeah, it seems like lately a lot of chicks are asking me what my intentions are. It seems to come up in conversation pretty quickly for me these days. Not sure if I'm the one causing it or what. But yeah getting them hooked on sex first was definitely a successful strategy for me in the past. Once u do that, do u have a more in-depth conversation or do u keep convo regarding intentions as minimal as possible? I think I have a tendency of "ruining the vibe" with too overt a conversation regarding the topic.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Well I’ve used the line “every relationship starts with a ONS”, or you can come up with alternatives that aren’t as brash.

Also you can say that you’re actively dating with the goal of finding the right person to LTR, this puts her in the hot seat, not you. Where before she was basically saying “why do you deserve to have sex with me?”, you’ve flipped the script: with the attitude that sex is the easy part “what makes you LTR material?”.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Well I’ve used the line “every relationship starts with a ONS”, or you can come up with alternatives that aren’t as brash.

Also you can say that you’re actively dating with the goal of finding the right person to LTR, this puts her in the hot seat, not you. Where before she was basically saying “why do you deserve to have sex with me?”, you’ve flipped the script: with the attitude that sex is the easy part “what makes you LTR material?”.

Hmmm I like that. Being somewhat sensitive, I quickly feel burdened by a girls expectations. If I know that she's looking at me as possible LTR, I start feeling bad for her. It's weird. I gotta talk to u guys more. I think hanging around my religeous friends has made me too soft.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Unfortunately as you mature and gain experience you will understand that your superpower is granting the relationship and that her’s is granting sex.

Women, all of them, either consciously or subconsciously use their power to get what they want from you, there is nothing wrong with you doing the same.

I do not consider womanhood to be evil, they’re using their advantage to gain what they want. We should do the same. Men would and do the same given the ability to do so. That’s why it’s called a game.

The issue is that men are weak vagina beggars, we as a group will do ridiculous things to gain access, when what we need to do is the opposite, easier said than done.

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