How To Identify Borderline Personality?

[soulforge]

Father was in the picture, but I found out she was abused while young by another family member.

The importance of recognizing and avoiding red flags is paramount. I got drawn in by her assertiveness then she would pull away. I would withdraw and she would return. Getting too close meant being temporary blocked. It became a quick addiction like a drug. The final straw was finding out about her multiple dudes . Dudes are a source for their emptiness, each one is a different compartment on the shelf. They return when the need for the source returns. Toxicity on steroids. Forums like this help to avoid it.

Yes this is a common dinominator, some type of childhood trauma/abuse and premescuity.

I am certain anytime these girls gets pumped and dumped, they go out and get themselves another tattoo lol

 

[Divorced w 3]

It’s so much easier to point the finger at someone else than at oneself ….

 

[Carson02]

Yes this is a common dinominator, some type of childhood trauma/abuse and premescuity.

I am certain anytime these girls gets pumped and dumped, they go out and get themselves another tattoo lol

Yes that is usually the cause and left untreated

Addictions are definitely their coping mechanism, including drugs and alcohol.

There is a definite line between legit people with BPD and those who use the label for their exes after being dumped, however. IE BPD for females and narcissists for males.

 

[soulforge]

Yes that is usually the cause and left untreated

Addictions are definitely their coping mechanism, including drugs and alcohol.

There is a definite line between legit people with BPD and those who use the label for their exes after being dumped, however. IE BPD for females and narcissists for males.

Yeh I see too many guys label there ex BPD after she dumped them & mistreated them few months before the Dumping.

That is more likely a loss of attraction and not BPD.. Even the sweetest girl in the world will treat you like garbage once she has decided she wants to get rid of you.

 

[soulforge]

It’s so much easier to point the finger at someone else than at oneself ….

This is true.. We should do some self analysis also.. However sometimes right from the get go (day one) you know you are dealing with a crazeee one.

Its upto us to smarten up and not take the crazee ones seriously.

 

[Solomon]

-Insatiable Sex Drive-These women could get the D all day every day 24/7
-Freaky sex- self-explanatory
-Get insanely jealous if you hang out without them even if you are just with family or male friends
-When they are "Hot" for you they will treat you like a king, when they are "Cold" they will act the cruelest and coldest to you
-Lack of Girlfriends-normal or healthy women will stay the eff away from these types they tend to not have friends or they have 304 friends
-Will manipulate by crying and through sex

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Classic Signs:
1. **Fear of Being Left:** People with BPD often really worry about being left alone or people leaving them, even when there's no real sign of that happening.

2. **Rollercoaster Relationships:** Their relationships can be like a rollercoaster. One moment they're super close and loving, the next they might be very upset with the same person.

3. **Changing Self-view:** On some days, they might feel great about themselves, but on others, they might feel the total opposite.

4. **Risky Actions:** Sometimes, they might do risky stuff without thinking it through, like driving too fast or overspending.

5. **Hurting Themselves:** Some might hurt themselves, like cutting, or even think about suicide.

6. **Mood Swings:** Their moods can change really quickly, going from super happy to really sad in a short time.

7. **Feeling Empty:** They often feel like there's something missing inside, like they're empty.

8. **Quick to Anger:** They can get very angry quickly, but then feel bad about it afterwards.

9. **Feeling Out of Touch:** Sometimes they might feel paranoid, thinking others are out to get them, or they might feel disconnected from what's happening around them.

All of these paint them as the victim and does not even begin to address how they treat other people.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

BPD is exactly the reason why everybody should go to marriage counselling before getting married; BPD is not just this thing, it's a spectrum of behavior, sometimes she just cannot control her emotions but other times she can and just hides it.

The problem is that the super bad BPDs are very submissive, you'd never even know until you step on one of those few landmines and it could be years before that happens if she's just going with the flow. Any guy can have his way, any way he wants with a bad BPD, it's enticing until it isn't.

 

[jaygreenb]

I'm not even sure if I have ever dealt with a borderline personality.

I'm sure most modern women have some type of mental health issue or disorder these days, due to the amount of random c0ck they are taking.

Anyway some of you guys have been burnt by a genuine BDP before?

My question is, which red flags are very common with BDP girls? What signs do us men need to be aware of, so we can plan an exit strategy.

By the way, if she lost interest & began treating you like garbage, that doesn't mean she is BDP... She just lost interest, even the nicest of girl will treat you like crap, once she loses interest.

Almost all that I met had a raging, cheating ***** mom who blew up many relationships. No consistent career path late 20s, inability to fully take care of themself and always needed family or a guy to supplement. Trail of toxic relationships with blame solely put on partner. They are either hero or victim. Hypochondriac. Doesn't mean they actually have bpd but those traits can be established relatively early and spidey senses start tingling

 

[Serenity]

Relevant details first. My mother has BPD. It didn't directly affect me until her last boyfriend (not my father) finally left for good after 10 years together and she was WAY past the wall. Me experiencing the full effect of a BPD woman happened in a relatively short window of about a year, before I broke free which was around the time I joined this forum. While there was nothing romantic or sexual about this relationship, I would argue it was worse to get out of compared to just a normal relationship, it's a bit harder to dump a parent... I also have a bunch of observations about how she has acted with previous boyfriends. So while I don't have direct experience with BPD girlfriend, I certainly have seen WAY more than I wish I did...

They will typically be very sweet and seductive at first, you might get the feeling that it's too easy or too good to be true. Trust your gut on that one, it probably is. It's their "hook", they'll get you addicted to that sweetness. Their demands will almost imperceptibly gradually increase, their typical victims will comply because they want her back to giving that sweetness that hooked them. The problem is that the demands never ends, she will demand ever more and require you to sacrifice ever more of yourself. If there's any spine left in you then you'll wake up at some point and realize she's insatiable, an emotional black hole. She will take far more than she gives back. If you don't wake up you'll literally lose yourself and become a slave to her desires, you'll be fvcked (and not necessarily even literally).

Common themes are constantly broken promises, bad excuses, gaslighting, general aggression and the range of emotional manipulation may go all the way up to suicide threats, of course blaming you for it. Abandonment issues are often central to their condition, if they're being a b!tch and you appear convincingly about to leave, then they might do an EXTREME 180 in order to pull you back with sweetness. What you'll see is a bunch of groveling and excuses that will never feel genuine enough, trust me, it won't last long at all before they prove they learned absolutely nothing.

By the way, if she lost interest & began treating you like garbage, that doesn't mean she is BDP... She just lost interest, even the nicest of girl will treat you like crap, once she loses interest.

This is dead wrong. If a BPD "loses interest" she literally can't help herself from bothering you every way she can, unprovoked. They don't really lose interest, they're emotional black holes, they NEED you. She WILL want you back under her control, but if sweetness fails she will become extremely toxic and manipulative.

The nicest of girls will genuinely only want you out, they'll just ignore you, not actively retaliate and treat you like crap. They might treat you like crap if you continue bothering them in an attempt to get her back though, as I said, they just want you gone. Going out of ones way to treat someone like crap proves continued interest, why put in all that effort if they don't care?

This post got long enough, but I'm open for more questions. Btw, you managed to type BPD wrong every single time in your first post, you wrote "BDP".

 

[kookdekoo]

Yeh I see too many guys label there ex BPD after she dumped them & mistreated them few months before the Dumping.

That is more likely a loss of attraction and not BPD.. Even the sweetest girl in the world will treat you like garbage once she has decided she wants to get rid of you.

The reverse is also true. We think the girl's behaving crappy because she's just lost interest in us. Later, the penny drops about BPD/NPD, especially for those of us exposed for the first time.

 

[kookdekoo]

-Insatiable Sex Drive-These women could get the D all day every day 24/7
-Freaky sex- self-explanatory
-Get insanely jealous if you hang out without them even if you are just with family or male friends
-When they are "Hot" for you they will treat you like a king, when they are "Cold" they will act the cruelest and coldest to you
-Lack of Girlfriends-normal or healthy women will stay the eff away from these types they tend to not have friends or they have 304 friends
-Will manipulate by crying and through sex

Nail. Head. Bang. Just realized the 5+ year's LTR I dumped recently thinking she was escalating the betatization process to turn me into a doormat and was normal **** testing me and seemed always to behave with 'suppressed irritation' , turns out was a covert narcissist. Got out quickly without any serious damage to my self esteem thanks to this forum.
In hindsight , here were her red flags :
1. Grew up without father. Passed when she was two years old.
2. Initial love/sex bombing was out of this world. After four high energy bangs within three hours, would ask me if I wanted to go one more time. Did her once seven times in the night and next day she was asking for more ! I was her King. Expensive gifts, terms of endearment, acted like she missed me every minute I wasn't with her.
3. No girlfriends.
4. Immediately after first time sex, went to great lengths to impress upon me that she hates cheating and has never cheated before. She was married then to her husband. Still is.
5. Over the top jealously if I went golfing trips with friends or spent time with relations. Started discouraging me from persuing my hobbies. Tried to stop me from going to the gym. That's when my intuition told me something was off.
6. The devalue stage lasted six months. Boy, was it hell. It was her behavior that prompted me to look for help and find Rollo and this forum.
Am glad that got away with minimal damage. Have been no contact for a few months now. Only regret is didn't insist on anal while the sex bombing stage was on !

 

[soulforge]

Nail. Head. Bang. Just realized the 5+ year's LTR I dumped recently thinking she was escalating the betatization process to turn me into a doormat and was normal **** testing me and seemed always to behave with 'suppressed irritation' , turns out was a covert narcissist. Got out quickly without any serious damage to my self esteem thanks to this forum.
In hindsight , here were her red flags :
1. Grew up without father. Passed when she was two years old.
2. Initial love/sex bombing was out of this world. After four high energy bangs within three hours, would ask me if I wanted to go one more time. Did her once seven times in the night and next day she was asking for more ! I was her King. Expensive gifts, terms of endearment, acted like she missed me every minute I wasn't with her.
3. No girlfriends.
4. Immediately after first time sex, went to great lengths to impress upon me that she hates cheating and has never cheated before. She was married then to her husband. Still is.
5. Over the top jealously if I went golfing trips with friends or spent time with relations. Started discouraging me from persuing my hobbies. Tried to stop me from going to the gym. That's when my intuition told me something was off.
6. The devalue stage lasted six months. Boy, was it hell. It was her behavior that prompted me to look for help and find Rollo and this forum.
Am glad that got away with minimal damage. Have been no contact for a few months now. Only regret is didn't insist on anal while the sex bombing stage was on !

That's a laundry list of crazy lol

Yeh with all of these types of girls the common factor is attractiveness and intense sex.

That's how we get uncontrollablely hooked.

And yeh mate, Shame I didn't butt fvck my ex too lol

 

[RickPound]

My first experience with this type of woman is what drove me to this forum. I had experience with women before meeting her - have done just fine throughout my life - but then she changed everything. How do you know you might be dealing with a BPD (or just toxic woman)? You start looking on the internet for explanations of what’s going on.

 

[Murk]

Can safely say I've never encountered BPD, don't they prey on weak minds? Might be why I have never let them in. First sign of ****ry and I bounce.

 

[Tyrion]

My first post here.
I wish it was a happier one.
A woman I was in a situationship was likely an undiagnosed BPD.
She took her own life 8 years ago.
The signs were there and after less than a year into the relationship got downgraded because of something she had done.
To cut a long story short I intermittently provided care and support something like a father would do for their daughter even though she was only 2 years younger than me.
There was childhood trauma involved, but I never knew exactly what it was that happened.
You see BPD’s lie a lot. It’s often not to hurt or deceive others, but to protect themselves from perceived hurt
She did tell me about the trauma, but I suspect it was a lie to cover up something even more traumatic.
It took me 3 dark years to get to some kind of acceptance and understanding of what happened.

It would’ve all been so much easier for me if I’d just walked away within the first year and been blissfully ignorant about what happened to her.

I’ve learnt the hard way that is it critical to vet people who come into my life.

Feel free to ask me questions or insights I have from my experiences with someone who is likely to have been BPD.

I’ll contribute more positive posts in others threads.

 

[soulforge]

My first experience with this type of woman is what drove me to this forum. I had experience with women before meeting her - have done just fine throughout my life - but then she changed everything. How do you know you might be dealing with a BPD (or just toxic woman)? You start looking on the internet for explanations of what’s going on.

Yeh very good point. When you're literally questioni

My first post here.
I wish it was a happier one.
A woman I was in a situationship was likely an undiagnosed BPD.
She took her own life 8 years ago.
The signs were there and after less than a year into the relationship got downgraded because of something she had done.
To cut a long story short I intermittently provided care and support something like a father would do for their daughter even though she was only 2 years younger than me.
There was childhood trauma involved, but I never knew exactly what it was that happened.
You see BPD’s lie a lot. It’s often not to hurt or deceive others, but to protect themselves from perceived hurt
She did tell me about the trauma, but I suspect it was a lie to cover up something even more traumatic.
It took me 3 dark years to get to some kind of acceptance and understanding of what happened.

It would’ve all been so much easier for me if I’d just walked away within the first year and been blissfully ignorant about what happened to her.

I’ve learnt the hard way that is it critical to vet people who come into my life.

Feel free to ask me questions or insights I have from my experiences with someone who is likely to have been BPD.

I’ll contribute more positive posts in others threads.

I think the key point most guys make on here is, getting OUT sooner than later is paramount. Longer you stay with a damaged women, the stronger your attachment to her, the end result is alot of damage.

 

[Tyrion]

A BPD trait not listed here is childlike mannerisms.
Due to childhood trauma their emotional development is halted.
When she cried, it wasn’t a weep of an adult woman, but a full throated cry of what you would expect of a 6 year old.

Also when she was angry it would be funny like watching a 6 year old having a tantrum. I would genuinely laugh because it was funny.

Rapid mood swings going from happy to sad to happy again - all within a few minutes and just like a 6 year girl would.

I tend to think of female BPD as extreme femininity. You will see quite a few of these traits in normal women, but in female BPD’s the traits are amplified x10.

 

[soulforge]

A BPD trait not listed here is childlike mannerisms.
Due to childhood trauma their emotional development is halted.
When she cried, it wasn’t a weep of an adult woman, but a full throated cry of what you would expect of a 6 year old.

Also when she was angry it would be funny like watching a 6 year old having a tantrum. I would genuinely laugh because it was funny.

Rapid mood swings going from happy to sad to happy again - all within a few minutes and just like a 6 year girl would.

I tend to think of female BPD as extreme femininity. You will see quite a few of these traits in normal women, but in female BPD’s the traits are amplified x10.

I have experienced a girl like this, very likely BDP.. She would actually put on a child like voice? At the time I didn't know what the F was going on.. Now I understand these traits.

Do you think depression/anxiety is indication of BDP?

 

[Tyrion]

It can be one of the signs.
Google the DSM manual for BPD traits.
There are 9 traits and to qualify for a BPD diagnosis the patient needs to show at least 5 of the 9 traits.

Childlike mannerisms is also a trait in Histrionic Personality Disorder.

When you start reading this stuff you read estimations of 5% of the population have this disorder, 3% have another disorder.
When you add them up it’s like an estimated 20 something percent of the population (male and female) have some mental disorder.