Best Method To Cold Approach?

[soulforge]

Which technique would you say is the most effective?

01. Approach a girl, start small conversation, talk about how her day is or whatever, build some raport & at some point turn the conversation to showing her interest & proceed to ask for her number?

02. Immediately let her know that you think she is cute, would like to take her out for a drink & try get her number?

Personally I think number two is best, as you are letting your intentions to be known off rip.

 

[NealIRC]

I wouldn't ask a girl for her #, let her ask you for your # or contact info, or let her give it to you without you asking for it. You're showing her you're the "more desperate" 1 if you ask for that.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Let her ask you for your # or contact info, or let her give it to you without you asking for it.

Yeah. Sometimes they find ways to give you their number

Her: I cant find my phone

"Let me call you. What´s your #?"

True story bro

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Either can work depending on the situation. Everything is context dependent, you have to choose the right tool for the job.

Too many guys here try and choose a saw to hammer in a nail because they like using saws and don't like hammers.

Every tool is made for certain scenarios and the people who utilize the proper tools for the right jobs will find the most success.

 

[characternote]

I guess if you asked this question 15 years on forums like this, the answer would be 'A' for 95% of readers.

They'd say that with 'B', you will only get the girl if she thinks you are handsome and she is attracted to you already and that you need to 'run game' on her in order to force attraction in her, and this 'game' would be the opposite of B. It would be to show sexual DISinterest in her. Framing her as a 'friend' unless she is able to impress you (qualification), telling her she's not your type (disqualification) etc etc. Many PUA dudes/coaches etc would say 'direct game' isn't even 'game' at all

Having said that, I think it's largely irrelevant. I'm not against 'direct game' as such as imo You can't negotiate attraction. If you're not her type, the best 'game' in the world won't cut any ice. So I can see the argument for not wasting time and just opening and making it super clear you like her and shooting your shot/asking her out/whatever

Only thing that would effect my choices would be things like the location, who she is with, how old she is, and things like that

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Which technique would you say is the most effective?

The one that gets you the girl.

 

[Bible_Belt]

In many parts of the world, #2 risks getting arrested and/or fired from your job.

 

[Serenity]

Somewhere in between.

Option #1 is to go from a platonic conversation to suddenly showing other types of interest, it can be perceived uncomfortable when you take such a sudden turn and they might reject you on that.

Option #2 is a more efficient option in that it doesn't waste unnecessary time beating around the bush, she's either into it right then and there or she's not. The obvious downside is that it can be perceived as coming on too strong, make her uncomfortable and because of that reject you.

I combine both. I signal the nature of my interest in her, but without saying it plainly. I'll make it obvious through indirect communication. My favorites are double entendres and irony. In a way there's two conversations going on simultaneously, one in plain language and one between the lines. I'll raise both their comfort and tension level towards me, not just one or the other or alternating (push pull).

Of course if they're not interested at all then there's nothing you can do. With my way of doing it you'll still be rejected, but without wasting much time such as with option #1 and potentially still leaving you the option to continue purely platonically without having ruined the vibe if you'd care for that. My way would avoid the negatives of options #1 and #2, you're not springing too much interest on them immediately or suddenly down the line. Instead you're gradually turning up the dial, they'll roll with it or even actively do the same if they're open to it.

Depending on circumstances you might make out with them or fvck them the same day/night, has happened plenty of times for me. Something you can't do with option #1 number close. Might happen with option #2 if you look like the embodiment of masculinity or are very lucky to stumble upon an easy woman (definitely use a condom!!!).

 

[soulforge]

In many parts of the world, #2 risks getting arrested and/or fired from your job.

Yeh this approach would obviously require some thoughtfulness and awareness of your surroundings.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

02. Immediately let her know that you think she is cute

Dude, you just straight up jacked my methodology lol.

A crying shame.

 

[soulforge]

Somewhere in between.

Option #1 is to go from a platonic conversation to suddenly showing other types of interest, it can be perceived uncomfortable when you take such a sudden turn and they might reject you on that.

Option #2 is a more efficient option in that it doesn't waste unnecessary time beating around the bush, she's either into it right then and there or she's not. The obvious downside is that it can be perceived as coming on too strong, make her uncomfortable and because of that reject you.

I combine both. I signal the nature of my interest in her, but without saying it plainly. I'll make it obvious through indirect communication. My favorites are double entendres and irony. In a way there's two conversations going on simultaneously, one in plain language and one between the lines. I'll raise both their comfort and tension level towards me, not just one or the other or alternating (push pull).

Of course if they're not interested at all then there's nothing you can do. With my way of doing it you'll still be rejected, but without wasting much time such as with option #1 and potentially still leaving you the option to continue purely platonically without having ruined the vibe if you'd care for that. My way would avoid the negatives of options #1 and #2, you're not springing too much interest on them immediately or suddenly down the line. Instead you're gradually turning up the dial, they'll roll with it or even actively do the same if they're open to it.

Depending on circumstances you might make out with them or fvck them the same day/night, has happened plenty of times for me. Something you can't do with option #1 number close. Might happen with option #2 if you look like the embodiment of masculinity or are very lucky to stumble upon an easy woman (definitely use a condom!!!).

I find option #1 can be perceived as a little creepy.

Initially it would seem like your just having a friendly chit chat in the social sense (friendly vibes) which she will likely engage in too, then this sudden U-turn to hitting on her.. I dunno she will feel that the early part of the conversation was fake and just a ruse for you to eventually hit on her.

Option #2 is straight to the point. She will either be the type of chick who doesn't mind a guy coming on strong & might entertain you.. Or she prefers the softer approach and rejects you.

The end result is all the same.

 

[corrector]

So I can see the argument for not wasting time and just opening and making it super clear you like her and shooting your shot/asking her out/whatever

Only thing that would effect my choices would be things like the location, who she is with, how old she is, and things like that

Exactly. Its a numbers game.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

02. Immediately let her know that you think she is cute, would like to take her out for a drink & try get her number?

This^.

Compared to..

The approach is ALWAYS the same, bank robbery...in & out.

Me: Dangg. You cute. Are you single?

Her: Um, yeah.

Me: Bet. What is your name?

Her: Jasmine.

Me: Aight Jasmine, my name is Kevin. mind if I got your number? Maybe we can do a dinner/movie thing?

Jasmine: Sure.

*Takes out phone, gets number*

Me: Aight, Expect to her from me later.

Jasmine: Ok.

My version of Mode One: Mode X

. Yeah man, this is my version of Mode ONE. Mode X. Mode X is similar to Mode One, as it is bold, direct, and quick. The major difference is, my version includes non-verbal game (mainly text). Everything else is mostly similar, except it combines my own personal style of things. My own...

www.sosuave.net

Personally I think number two is best, as you are letting your intentions to be known off rip.

So basically, you are saying go Mode One by letting your intentions to be known off rip.

As if you came up with this bright idea all of a sudden... when Ive been preaching that same sh!t for MONTHS.

Dude just stole one of my talking points and created a thread as it came from his own mind.

Shameful, and disgusting.

 

[soulforge]

This^.

Compared to..

My version of Mode One: Mode X

. Yeah man, this is my version of Mode ONE. Mode X. Mode X is similar to Mode One, as it is bold, direct, and quick. The major difference is, my version includes non-verbal game (mainly text). Everything else is mostly similar, except it combines my own personal style of things. My own...

www.sosuave.net

So basically, you are saying go Mode One by letting your intentions to be known off rip.

As if you came up with this bright idea all of a sudden... when Ive been preaching that same sh!t for MONTHS.

Dude just stole one of my talking points and created a thread as it came from his own mind.

Shameful, and disgusting.

Dude I haven't even looked at your thread... Not even one time. Relax.

This thought just came to my head today, as I approached a chick this morning & instead of taking the direct route, I began a conversation with her about random crap for nearly 10 minutes.. After the 10 minutes passed, it's kinda felt even wierd to me, to start hitting on her.

 

[CornbreadFed]

2). Because even if she says I don’t know you well enough means there’s an opening.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Dude I haven't even looked at your thread... Not even one time. Relax.

This thought just came to my head today, as I approached a chick this morning & instead of taking the direct route, I began a conversation with her about random crap for nearly 10 minutes.. After the 10 minutes passed, it's kinda felt even wierd to me, to start hitting on her.

 

[Serenity]

I find option #1 can be perceived as a little creepy.

Initially it would seem like your just having a friendly chit chat in the social sense (friendly vibes) which she will likely engage in too, then this sudden U-turn to hitting on her.. I dunno she will feel that the early part of the conversation was fake and just a ruse for you to eventually hit on her.

Option #2 is straight to the point. She will either be the type of chick who doesn't mind a guy coming on strong & might entertain you.. Or she prefers the softer approach and rejects you.

The end result is all the same.

Exactly.

I just think option #2 is unrefined and won't do for women who want to see what kind of guy you are before giving you too much hope. It's just a defence against disrespectful and abusive men. Some men don't take no for an answer, some are downright nasty, some turn into stalkers. I can understand why it's not common for women to so easily entrust a man they just met with their personal information or go straight to a more private place for some action, they'd be taking a risk not worth taking. Sure, this option is very clear in its intention, but there's zero trust being built.

Some women are really naive and have poor judgement though, those are the types that will go along with it just like that. Not the best quality of women...

So, making the intention clear while also showing her you're not going to be like those guys is the way to go. She has to believe and trust that if she at any point says no, you won't do any of those things. Showing a willingness to leave if anything turns bad is generally attractive, this can be shown playfully or with the use of irony before anything has the potential to become serious. Desperation generally prevents showing this and is in fact the cause of these negative behaviors women want to avoid.

 

[NealIRC]

The answer is none of them if she has her headphones on and so fixated on her phone.

I'd like to know if anyone had success with that. Maybe if a girl specialized in Renaissance art from the 1400s and you also specialize in Renaissance art from the 1400s, then she'd think you'd click and exchange numbers.

During Chicago's Lollapalooza, there were wild girls leaving the area and get bombarded by Christians talking in microphones. Some of the girls will shout "f religion, f Jesus." Then, I could go try to run up on them later and offer to hand atheism pamphlets and they can still say we're not interested.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Which technique would you say is the most effective?

01. Approach a girl, start small conversation, talk about how her day is or whatever, build some raport & at some point turn the conversation to showing her interest & proceed to ask for her number?

02. Immediately let her know that you think she is cute, would like to take her out for a drink & try get her number?

Personally I think number two is best, as you are letting your intentions to be known off rip.

1 and if things go well. move to 2. Otherwise eject.

 

[SW15]

Which technique would you say is the most effective?

01. Approach a girl, start small conversation, talk about how her day is or whatever, build some raport & at some point turn the conversation to showing her interest & proceed to ask for her number?

02. Immediately let her know that you think she is cute, would like to take her out for a drink & try get her number?

Personally I think number two is best, as you are letting your intentions to be known off rip.

02 is Mode One. On this forum, the biggest proponent of Mode One is @We_ArE_VeNOM .

01 is closer to the approach style promoted in Roosh's "Day Bang" and from others.

Both 01 and 02 can be successful. I tend to prefer 01 because I like to have an extended conversation because I believe that an approach in-person with a 5-15 minute conversation can predict a successful first date.