The 1 Strike Rule

[Colossus]

I was reading over bradd80's tip thread and came across a mention of the "one strike" rule. I realized I have been implementing this for some time now and I think it's a simple tool that can help in any man's dating process.

First, let's define a "strike". A strike to me is any overt or covert act of disrespect or disinterest that is sufficient enough for me to cut ties with the girl. This depends somewhat on the stage of dating. For example, early in dating (from meeting to date 3 or 4), I'd consider the following acts as strikes:

-Not returning 2 or more texts, or consistently taking an inordinate amount of time to respond, like multiple hours
-Being late (more than 20 mins) to a date
-Changing plans at the last minute
-Texting during a date
-Not at least offering to help pay (I always pay at first)
-Not saying thank you
-Balking at a date idea
-Complaining about any part of the date
-Criticizing you, even in jest
-Not making an immediate counter offer if she cant make a date


These may sound strict, but in my experience, highly interested women DO NOT display these behaviors. They do not want to give you any reason to think they dont like you, because they value you!! Keep in mind these are just my own rules. Other guys may be more persistent or tolerate more in terms of behavior. I am somewhat old school in that I live by the Anti-Dump method: you filter women based on their interest level. This doesnt mean your girls will be problem-free, but you eliminate tons of heartache and wasted time by dropping girls who are only mildly interested.

By allowing acts of disinterest or disrespect, you are reflecting your own value of yourself. And on that same token, you have to be in a position to implement this policy!! If you are unemployed, living in your mom's basement, not emotionally healthy, or not at least a recovered AFC, you have more pressing issues than dating! Have your own house in order before you date girls.

Later on, once you are sexual together or are approaching LTR territory, the strikes become less clear cut. However, it's still good to keep in mind some basic thresholds of respect, like being mostly on time, not dissing you or your life, respecting your decisions, limiting her interactions with other men, etc. Dont let your standards for her fall apart just because she is letting you make squishy sounds in between her legs. DJ 101.

All of this is basically a long-winded way of saying to drop new girls at the first sign of disinterest or disrespect. Try it and see how it works for you.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Few years ago I wouldnt have supported such policy but now after many experiences and aquired knowledge I fully do.
Im totally convinced interested girls wont make anything to piss you off nor will not be able to find a way to see you. they in fact will put their share of effort in the relation.

For those who think that girls are used to such behaviour and shouldnt be taken personally, let me tell you that when a girl likes you she does because she considers you a worthy individual and worthy individuals are not mistreated or humiliated as nothing happened.

The 1 strike rule is not a way to "punish" a girl, its a way to avoid unconvenient deals or better yet avoid transactions which would lead to no deal anyway.

However my list (despite agreeing) with Colossus, I feel the need to insert a dinamic factor which is the frame of the interaction.

To make it simple I ask myself "if all my interaction with this girl were recorded and shown as a movie, what it would look like".

If the answer is even remotely close to the "she is playing hard to get and it seems he cares about her more than she cares about him" or "he is doing his best and she doesnt even make an effort" its a quick cut.

 

[Colossus]

The 1 strike rule is not a way to "punish" a girl, its a way to avoid unconvenient deals or better yet avoid transactions which would lead to no deal anyway.

Exactly. It may seem like spiteful "battle tactics" to some, but it really isn't. It's simply proactive behavior on your part, saving you time, money, and wasted effort. I think it's a product of maturity as well. You just dont have the time or patience for anything less than genuine high interest.

 

[Fatal Jay]

You can tell you turning into a real DJ when you use the 1 strike rule, and I must def use it

Especially the no text message reply, all I need is one text to not be responded too for me to drop them

but at the same time it could be exceptions cause a girl that flaked on me constantly back in my afc days gave me sex last week

 

[om1xr]

well the rule is great but the problem is not in making rules the problem in your mindset and how you think of the dating game or relationship or even friendships you must understand that the biggest problem that make everyone come to sites like those is that they don't have a life or they don't know how to be happy and just have fun in every moment of their lives . I mean let's face it all the techniques and rules and games of meeting girls that you see here everyday will solve without effort if we just LET GO and have the courage to chase the life we want it's all about YOU . so if you plan for a date and the girl flakes DON'T GET ANGRY seize the moment and have fun and be Yourself . ENJOY YOUR MEAL or your SKYDIVING or POOLING or whatever you had planned to do with the girl that flake and if a girl seems uninterested in you in the date or didn't respond to you when you call or text who cares man walk away or call her on it or just end that date or whatever . make every page of of the book of your life worth it and never depend your happiness on some externals. girls are just an echo/symbol/part in your life you enjoy their company relationship sex .... but you never depend your happiness on them.

 

[muscleman]

I've talked about only dealing with high interest level women, but the problem you'll run into with a few of your rules is you'll miss out on opportunities. You should weigh time investment vs. interest level and what you get in return.

For example, my latest girl #51 is a fairly dumb 22 year old blonde, but she's hot. She never texts me back immediately, often hours later. I do the same to her. However, that's only if we're talking about something that's not time sensitive. If we plan to hang out sometime, she's there right when she says she'll be. By your rules, she would violate your 'consistently taking an inordinate amount of time to respond, like multiple hours' rule.

I do think you should have a system, but if you're too strict yourself, you're going to WASTE a lot of time. Let's take another one of your examples: texting during a date. Are you saying if you're on a date with a girl and she sends a text you automatically end the date? Again, you'll miss a few opportunities and waste your time even showing up. Multiple girls I've laid have shot a text or two to someone during our date, I don't mind. I do call them out on it, or ask about it, but I'm not going to call it quits just because she picks up her phone. I've had to answer important calls while I was on dates before.

 

[lamobatsman]

have you got any rules or acts of disrespect to watch out for online girls? in the very early stages of getting to know a girl

 

[Who Dares Win]

have you got any rules or acts of disrespect to watch out for online girls? in the very early stages of getting to know a girl

Any failure to appreciate your effort by giving something in return is a potential red flag.

If she doesnt give you her number or facebook fast enough (some resistance is ok as long as its just some) is very likely she has no interest in you, especially after you talked enough and she saw your pictures.

Online, deals are made and broken mostly through pictures, is she doesnt accept to meet but likes to talk she is just looking for entarteinment of pleasure from having a guy chasing her, cut it short there.

The strike in this case is her being unwilling to meet or at least try to arrange it.

 

[lamobatsman]

Any failure to appreciate your effort by giving something in return is a potential red flag.

If she doesnt give you her number or facebook fast enough (some resistance is ok as long as its just some) is very likely she has no interest in you, especially after you talked enough and she saw your pictures.

Online, deals are made and broken mostly through pictures, is she doesnt accept to meet but likes to talk she is just looking for entarteinment of pleasure from having a guy chasing her, cut it short there.

The strike in this case is her being unwilling to meet or at least try to arrange it.

If you read my previous thread on my experience it was very much different. yes there were lots of red flags looking back on it but i just dont know where the strike was in my story. i guess i need some validation from guys like you so i know next time when to cut it!

 

[Colossus]

I've talked about only dealing with high interest level women, but the problem you'll run into with a few of your rules is you'll miss out on opportunities. You should weigh time investment vs. interest level and what you get in return.

For example, my latest girl #51 is a fairly dumb 22 year old blonde, but she's hot. She never texts me back immediately, often hours later. I do the same to her. However, that's only if we're talking about something that's not time sensitive. If we plan to hang out sometime, she's there right when she says she'll be. By your rules, she would violate your 'consistently taking an inordinate amount of time to respond, like multiple hours' rule.

I do think you should have a system, but if you're too strict yourself, you're going to WASTE a lot of time. Let's take another one of your examples: texting during a date. Are you saying if you're on a date with a girl and she sends a text you automatically end the date? Again, you'll miss a few opportunities and waste your time even showing up. Multiple girls I've laid have shot a text or two to someone during our date, I don't mind. I do call them out on it, or ask about it, but I'm not going to call it quits just because she picks up her phone. I've had to answer important calls while I was on dates before.

These are good points. I should have stressed that the "rules" I made were more like guidelines----it's not like I follow all of those to the letter. For example, like you, one of the girls I am seeing now often wont return a text for an hour or two. But, when it comes to dates, she is on time every time. And she has checked her phone once or twice during a lull in a date. Am I going to bounce her just for that? No, because in the overall picture her interest is high and she is initiating things and following up. You do have to weigh the big picture of the girl.

have you got any rules or acts of disrespect to watch out for online girls? in the very early stages of getting to know a girl

Response time. It varies but if she is taking more than a couple days to get back to you, don't waste your time.

Also does she give you her number within a few emails? This is good. You dont want a pen pal...if she hasnt offered her number or accepted your offer for a date within a few emails, I would move on. I have a lot of experience with online dating and it can become a massive jerk-off if you aren't moving things along and dropping the really slow responders and chronic emailers.

 

[manfrombelow]

Very sorry to dig up a decade old post, but I think it's something worth doing.

Basically, as men, our resources (be it time, mental energy, money, whatever...) are too precious to be invested carelessly into people who are, in essence, not worth investing.

When I like a woman, I make it known to her by approaching her, asking for her number, asking her out to have some good time with me (of course being a gentleman, I'll pay for all related expenses). That's it. That's all I do. I already gave her ONE chance, one chance only to be with me.

If, for whatever reasons, she decides she doesn't want to spend time with me by showing obvious signs such as acting aloof, being flakey, and/or making it difficult for us to get together, she's OUT. I might not block/delete her off my digital contact list, but when I have offered her ONE chance to be with me and she blew it, she's OUT, which means I simply STOP contacting her by any means under any circumstances. She's DEAD to me from that moment on.

If, under some extremely rare circumstances, she decides to initiate contact with me again, that's another story, but I wouln't cross my fingers over it.

This is something that should have been taught to male boys at the age of 5.

 

[TheManMasenko]

I agree Manfrombelow, our time as men is too important. We must invest our time to secure a promising future for our women and family.

A woman interested in you will reciprocate the effort.

 

[Learning Curve]

I was reading over bradd80's tip thread and came across a mention of the "one strike" rule. I realized I have been implementing this for some time now and I think it's a simple tool that can help in any man's dating process.

First, let's define a "strike". A strike to me is any overt or covert act of disrespect or disinterest that is sufficient enough for me to cut ties with the girl. This depends somewhat on the stage of dating. For example, early in dating (from meeting to date 3 or 4), I'd consider the following acts as strikes:

-Not returning 2 or more texts, or consistently taking an inordinate amount of time to respond, like multiple hours
-Being late (more than 20 mins) to a date
-Changing plans at the last minute
-Texting during a date
-Not at least offering to help pay (I always pay at first)
-Not saying thank you
-Balking at a date idea
-Complaining about any part of the date
-Criticizing you, even in jest
-Not making an immediate counter offer if she cant make a date


These may sound strict, but in my experience, highly interested women DO NOT display these behaviors. They do not want to give you any reason to think they dont like you, because they value you!! Keep in mind these are just my own rules. Other guys may be more persistent or tolerate more in terms of behavior. I am somewhat old school in that I live by the Anti-Dump method: you filter women based on their interest level. This doesnt mean your girls will be problem-free, but you eliminate tons of heartache and wasted time by dropping girls who are only mildly interested.

By allowing acts of disinterest or disrespect, you are reflecting your own value of yourself. And on that same token, you have to be in a position to implement this policy!! If you are unemployed, living in your mom's basement, not emotionally healthy, or not at least a recovered AFC, you have more pressing issues than dating! Have your own house in order before you date girls.

Later on, once you are sexual together or are approaching LTR territory, the strikes become less clear cut. However, it's still good to keep in mind some basic thresholds of respect, like being mostly on time, not dissing you or your life, respecting your decisions, limiting her interactions with other men, etc. Dont let your standards for her fall apart just because she is letting you make squishy sounds in between her legs. DJ 101.

All of this is basically a long-winded way of saying to drop new girls at the first sign of disinterest or disrespect. Try it and see how it works for you.

I agree with all the above but.

Nowadays women have changed I had chicks coming back to me after responding to my texts a week later and still was able to hook up with them.

It's not black and white "Oh if she does not respond after 1 text she is out" Yes I get the mentality of having self-respect but myself I leave the door always open.

The difference with me is that unresponded texts mean that if she actually responds after 2-3 days let's say I will invite her straight to my house and tell her to bring a bottle of wine. No going out with her or spending my money. I'm going straight for the objective and this has worked pretty well so far but some women did not want to come straight to my place, and I just rejected anything else.

Again women have changed and you have to adapt to the circumstances I used to be very strict as well and ghosting and ignoring women that did not respond to texts after one day or two days but they eventually came back and I lost plenty of opportunities.

 

[manfrombelow]

I agree with all the above but.

Nowadays women have changed I had chicks coming back to me after responding to my texts a week later and still was able to hook up with them.

It's not black and white "Oh if she does not respond after 1 text she is out" Yes I get the mentality of having self-respect but myself I leave the door always open.

The difference with me is that unresponded texts mean that if she actually responds after 2-3 days let's say I will invite her straight to my house and tell her to bring a bottle of wine. No going out with her or spending my money. I'm going straight for the objective and this has worked pretty well so far but some women did not want to come straight to my place, and I just rejected anything else.

Again women have changed and you have to adapt to the circumstances I used to be very strict as well and ghosting and ignoring women that did not respond to texts after one day or two days but they eventually came back and I lost plenty of opportunities.

Having sex with women who didn't respond in a timely manner happened to me as well, and not just once (hence I learned that when it comes to women, patience pays) but once again, I'm aware these cases are the exceptions and thus they don't mean to represent the whole picture. Yes deployng "one strike rule" might get you missed out on some potential prospects but that's the risk worth taking, because most of the time, what you gain (mental energy, time, money...) is always greater than what you might miss.

And no, women HAVE NOT CHANGED since forever, at least not their nature. Learn more before speak too loud.

 

[soulforge]

How many strike policy do you apply in a LTR?

I am willing to forgive only one incident of disrespect and after that if she messes up, then I walk away.

However recently I have come to the conclusion, even in a LTR for a serious offence of disrespect a man should immediately walk away.

Also if she is making life difficult, not bringing peace to your life.. Simply walk away!

 

[manfrombelow]

How many strike policy do you apply in a LTR?

LTR is another whole different story and deserves an entire thread about it.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Problem is there's a lot of wishy washy women out there who have no real clue about what they want and even more men that are willing to tolerate it and often willing to encourage it

Woman : (takes 3 days to respond to a message) "Hey sorry ive been busy "

Man : "No problem hunny is everything ok ? you must be so stressed "

So when you have millions of people doing this all over the world it kind of becomes a social norm to just be flaky and noncommittal

Swipe apps , OLD and social media have sort of normalised this weird phenomenon of treating everything with a novelty effect and its bled into general society

----------------------------------------------------------

A girl from the gym disrespected me the other week so I immediately removed her from my life , she's been b1tching about me in the gym but I don't care she may just learn a lesson

 

[Gamisch]

This can only be implemented if a man has the necessary abundance mindset.

Generally its not a bad characteristic to have zero tolerance for women's BS. A man needs laws and he needs to live by them no matter the circumstances.

The more abundant a man is the less strikes she'll get. A man whose unable to pull will give her infinite strikes.

 

[Learning Curve]

Having sex with women who didn't respond in a timely manner happened to me as well, and not just once (hence I learned that when it comes to women, patience pays) but once again, I'm aware these cases are the exceptions and thus they don't mean to represent the whole picture. Yes deployng "one strike rule" might get you missed out on some potential prospects but that's the risk worth taking, because most of the time, what you gain (mental energy, time, money...) is always greater than what you might miss.

And no, women HAVE NOT CHANGED since forever, at least not their nature. Learn more before speak too loud.

I never said their nature has changed. What I said is that some of the traits through time have developed to match the current circumstances with guys nowadays.

 

[manfrombelow]

This can only be implemented if a man has the necessary abundance mindset.

Generally its not a bad characteristic to have zero tolerance for women's BS. A man needs laws and he needs to live by them no matter the circumstances.

The more abundant a man is the less strikes she'll get. A man whose unable to pull will give her infinite strikes.

Even if you're going through a dry spell, this still applies.

Because, it's not like chasing after an uninterested broad suddenly works (aka she fvcks you eventually) just because you're going through a dry spell, is it?

So, having abundance mindset or not, it's always good knowing WHEN to stop investing into a bad "project".