Jonah Hill’s boundaries, and the pushback

[threeforfree]

There’s lots of discussion around this on social media, Jonah maturely and articulately spelled out his boundaries in a relationship and underscored that she is free to do all those things but if she does she’s likely not a good match for him.

Of course, the ex and no small number of women (and simps) say he’s “controlling” and “gaslighting.”

I’m actually a bit surprised and impressed that he has such solid frame.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Good for him, I guess

 

[bmp2cpm]

The mainstream media has made every attempt to divide men and women. This is not by accident.

Men must ignore the media and keep being men. Biology trumps all the crazy ideology that the media keeps pushing to women.

I'm floored when I hear from my wife and SIL the stories from younger women they know. These stories include:

• One women sleeping with over 300 guys.
• A young flight attendant who sleeps with 2 to 3 guys each trip layover (ie, up to 9 guys every 3-day trip!)
• One young flight attendant being surprised when my wife told her that body count matters to men and if she ever wants to have a quality long-term relationship, she needs to think about what she is doing.

I don't envy you younger guys. You are operating in a sub-par environment when it comes to quality women. Ten to 20 years ago the quality of women was better than today.

The best thing any man can do is maintain his frame. Biology will take care of the rest.

"He disliked nearly all women, and especially the young and pretty ones. It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies and nosers−out of unorthodoxy.” - George Orwell 1984

 

[Divorced w 3]

He would have been 100% believable if he posted this as an anonymous experience but he tried to counsel her on text.

Try this from a different point of view:

Jonah Hill is not in a secure emotional state and views the world through an anxious nervous system.

Jonah’s anxiety feels relief stating these concerns out loud instead of simply walking away from a situation that is not compatible with his preferences.

Because Jonah feels these behaviors are a threat, he gets triggered to the point where he cannot trust and support a woman who may also be in an insecure state herself.

In a less egregious situation , perhaps he loses his ability to trust her and sabotages the relationship even if she has never stepped out on their relationship. ( - although let’s be honest, this one probably did).

A secure man may have had room for attention seeking behavior and a successful relationship with an insecure woman.

both can be true.

edit: I didn’t realize he was dating a surfer model. I thought the behavior above would be weird but in context I now have to lean into the sabotage a little more here.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Jonah Hill may be in a little deeper than I even thought. I am sure his therapist is great but making a documentary about him feels like a lot.

edit: after realizing his girl was a surfer and based on his reasons (which presumptively would be his honest ones since this was a private convo )… I would jump on the grenade now and just say guilty as charged. I am lucky to have such a strong therapist, go see the movie. And thanks to her for the experience of the relationship I clearly learned from it. I am sorry she is still holding so much hurt that she is still maintaining this conversation and needed to post this over two years later

Jonah Hill’s Therapist Documentary: The Tools from ‘Stutz’ - Netflix Tudum

www.netflix.com

 

[CBear]

He respectfully communicated his boundaries. His faults were that he CHOSE to be in a relationship with a western woman who is bound to be more narcissistic and less feminine and one that is a surfer model so how can you not expect her to be posting pics of herself in a swimsuit? Otherwise, it's a win for him. He's not narcissistic or misogynistic in this case, any women that IS, however, won't be happy with these boundaries and will call someone like this controlling.

 

[Divorced w 3]

No way, this is really not great on his part. He looks really bad here. Don’t date a model if you can’t handle the heat. Not once in these texts does he accuse her of cheating.

 

[Gamisch]

I never heard of this dude so I am completly
neutral in this.

He communicates clearly why this specific woman might not be the right one for him. I also at first read it like rather a statement than a actual conversation. More men should do this. Hence the word specific. Ofcourse people will read it like a statement now, and think he applies this to every woman.

We don't know why he said this. But I can imagine dating such a woman and not feeling comfortable. Yes, it might highlight insecurities which you never even knew you had.whatever it is, I still gotta respect him mostly for choosing peace of mind over a HOT piece of azz.

He spelled it out clearly for her, because this is the equivalent of looooong phone conversations with tons of bickering and going back and forth.

Ridiculous that she shows this to the world. The biggest lesson for ME is to be carefull about what you say and send to who. Women are vengeance creatures by nature, so as a celebrity you can't aspect anything else.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I never heard of this dude so I am completly
neutral in this.

He communicates clearly why this specific woman might not be the right one for him. I also at first read it like rather a statement than a actual conversation. More men should do this. Hence the word specific. Ofcourse people will read it like a statement now, and think he applies this to every woman.

We don't know why he said this. But I can imagine dating such a woman and not feeling comfortable. Yes, it might highlight insecurities which you never even knew you had.whatever it is, I still gotta respect him mostly for choosing peace of mind over a HOT piece of azz.

He spelled it out clearly for her, because this is the equivalent of looooong phone conversations with tons of bickering and going back and forth.

Ridiculous that she shows this to the world. The biggest lesson for ME is to be carefull about what you say and send to who. Women are vengeance creatures by nature, so as a celebrity you can't aspect anything else.

This is one text in hundreds. She posted dozens of them. It’s not like he said his peace and then made his next move in life. He was ruminating on this almost the duration of their sub year long relationship.

 

[Gamisch]

View attachment 10514 There’s lots of discussion around this on social media, Jonah maturely and articulately spelled out his boundaries in a relationship and underscored that she is free to do all those things but if she does she’s likely not a good match for him.

Of course, the ex and no small number of women (and simps) say he’s “controlling” and “gaslighting.”

I’m actually a bit surprised and impressed that he has such solid frame.

This woman is a tough azz renovation project. He actually educates her . He tells her that in order to be a woman of value to HIM ( and lets be honest, many of us as well!!!) She needs to do and drop xyz.

Its also a recepy of toxicity he shows her. Its not JUST e.g modeling, it ALSO e.g inappropriate friendships with men. The combination of all these things =not right for me.

So it's on her whether she wants to be educated and have him as her teacher or not. I can kinda sense she is a beautiful floating butterfly. And due experience I know these types of women are miserable most of the time. I can also sense she actually wants him and they've argued about this shyte before. He was already dome with her and they both know it. So this is almost an " after rejection " .

He offers her another life. But that can only happen if she's willing to make HUGE adjustments. Which he all spellled out in detail. E.g she can also model for less spicy things like bikini brands. She has to get rid of her "many many many pretty boys ,that she calls frie-eeends".

There's a woman flipping burgers right now whose miles ahead of her simply by NOT doing all those things, while she might be just as good looking and actually much better in performing her WOMANLY duties.

 

[pipeman84]

While I agree with his boundaries, I see 2 issues here:
1. this is the kind of thing you communicate in person ... you can convey your message much more completely and also gauge if the woman understands/agrees with it.
2. the message is dated 2 December, yet they went public as a couple in August ... so that makes it late by at least 4 months.

 

[Divorced w 3]

This woman is a tough azz renovation project. He actually educates her . He tells her that in order to be a woman of value to HIM ( and lets be honest, many of us as well!!!) She needs to do and drop xyz.

Its also a recepy of toxicity he shows her. Its not JUST e.g modeling, it ALSO e.g inappropriate friendships with men. The combination of all these things =not right for me.

So it's on her whether she wants to be educated and have him as her teacher or not. I can kinda sense she is a beautiful floating butterfly. And due experience I know these types of women are miserable most of the time. I can also sense she actually wants him and they've argued about this shyte before. He was already dome with her and they both know it. So this is almost an " after rejection " .

He offers her another life. But that can only happen if she's willing to make HUGE adjustments. Which he all spellled out in detail. E.g she can also model for less spicy things like bikini brands. She has to get rid of her "many many many pretty boys ,that she calls frie-eeends".

There's a woman flipping burgers right now whose miles ahead of her simply by NOT doing all those things, while she might be just as good looking and actually much better in performing her WOMANLY duties.

Why does he need to educate and save this woman? He’s not only not a therapist, he’s deep into his own problems

 

[Gamisch]

This is one text in hundreds. She posted dozens of them. It’s not like he said his peace and then made his next move in life. He was ruminating on this almost the duration of their sub year long relationship.

I don't know if I understand you correctly, but if I do: such a woman, as I said is a huge headache. You won't get rid of her just like that...I recently said that the one of the hottest woman I had is one I had to run away from. And geuss what? She decided to make it a battle to get me back and she went completely nuts after that. Hb8,5 and up are not used to deal with rejection.

Ofcourse they'll prolong the situation by seducing you, not just with sex ,also with femininity in general.

Again, I respect him for this and it does sound like he thought about this for some time. A great analysis imo. He cuts the cord where most men will try to stay and keep her .

Also not surprised by her lack of integrity.

 

[Gamisch]

Why does he need to educate and save this woman? He’s not only not a therapist, he’s deep into his own problems

Because that's how it works.

Such women will say they need to be " tamed". That's why they'll run all over beta men and eventually dump them. Thats why they seek the bad boys . They need dominance amd she is no exception to the rule. Its a reoccurring theme. I don't doubt for a second that's she knows deep down that he is actually 100% right.

This guy sounds like a bleupilled alpha. And as you say, due having his own shyte going on last thing he needs is *see list*. He is honest, and clear. So there is even a very ,very small chance that she picks up it and makes the adjustments. Really sweet of him to give her that lesson.

You'll need to educate EVERY woman again and again. A new woman almost means starting from zero. Aint no such thing as a ready to go woman who fits you perfectly. Thise are locked down. They all have major flaws and need guidance.

 

[SW15]

He's not narcissistic or misogynistic in this case

I don't think so but his ex is now claiming he's a narcissistic, misogynistic, gaslighter.

While I agree with his boundaries, I see 2 issues here:
1. this is the kind of thing you communicate in person ... you can convey your message much more completely and also gauge if the woman understands/agrees with it.
2. the message is dated 2 December, yet they went public as a couple in August ... so that makes it late by at least 4 months.

Number 1 is the biggest issue. He chose the wrong format for communicating it. She probably would have pitched a fit in-person if he communicated it in person.

Number 2 is also a big issue and relate to frame, part of Iron Rule of Tomassi #1

Iron Rule of Tomassi #1

Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of whose frame in which you are operating. Always control the Frame, but resist giving the impression that you are.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I never heard of this dude so I am completly
neutral in this.

He communicates clearly why this specific woman might not be the right one for him. I also at first read it like rather a statement than a actual conversation. More men should do this. Hence the word specific. Ofcourse people will read it like a statement now, and think he applies this to every woman.

We don't know why he said this. But I can imagine dating such a woman and not feeling comfortable. Yes, it might highlight insecurities which you never even knew you had.whatever it is, I still gotta respect him mostly for choosing peace of mind over a HOT piece of azz.

He spelled it out clearly for her, because this is the equivalent of looooong phone conversations with tons of bickering and going back and forth.

Ridiculous that she shows this to the world. The biggest lesson for ME is to be carefull about what you say and send to who. Women are vengeance creatures by nature, so as a celebrity you can't aspect anything else.

Some fat jewish actor who got into movies when he was the "token fat jewish kid" in alot of comedy movies. Not the most attractive, still kinda pudgy but lost alot of weight.. Can prob pull girls off his wealth and status alone but sounds like hehasnt been doing too well

 

[Gamisch]

While I agree with his boundaries, I see 2 issues here:
1. this is the kind of thing you communicate in person ... you can convey your message much more completely and also gauge if the woman understands/agrees with it.
2. the message is dated 2 December, yet they went public as a couple in August ... so that makes it late by at least 4 months.

In person he wont get passed his first complaint (surfing with men) without a EPIC fight.

Now, imagine him sitting her down going through the list and then what? Expect a reasonable logic response? In which universe that happens?

Written text is the best way to get through to to her. She read it so many times she needed the internet to reassure her she is a "strong,great woman " and that "he is such an azzhole". Because its fecking with her conciousness.

 

[Gamisch]

Actually its obvious that she got manipulated. Why would he dating her when he already knew what type of woman he is dealing with? The thing is when he saw her pictures it was no issue to pursue her. Then you get with her and start setting ultimatums against what you knew about up front? Thats what NARCISSISTS do, he led her on. Probably even shagged her and pulled that im innocent boundary card.

I watched few interviews from Jonah, they highly indicate narcissistic behavior - more towards coward narcissism.

I couldnt find any interviews about the girl so hard to tell, but based on her actions its indicative for narcissism or taking revenge out of other insecurities

I disagree.

You meet a woman and it basically starts as a clean white blanket. Ofcourse there will always be glaring red flags from moment one though..in this case her model career. Eventually you've seen enough to make a decision.

You can't blame any man for checking out such a woman. Especially if she's, as I said, a seductive floating butterfly.

Most women instinctively wanna be locked down is my opinion. In this case it could be that she's already dreaming about being a mother. That's conflicting with her current lifestyle, and he laid it out for her. If she wants HIM as a long term partner.

He simply explains to her why she is not the right one for him. As will the next man do. Untill she finally gets it.

 

[Gamisch]

What? It doesnt make sense in the first place because it would create cognitive dissonance. The main things that he wanted to stop her from doing was literally what he pursued her for in the first place, coward narcissist are highly skilled in this, perfect victim for him. It doesnt matter whether she is the right partner or not, narcissist can have other ulterior motives. There are legit boundaries, but there are also boundaries coming out of insecurities. I rely on my instincts and Im also educated in Psychology and body language. I know that he is a narcissist, I dont need anyone to validate that for me

Truth might be somewhere in the middle. I dont doubt this man has issues. Ao does she. So either way he's better off without her. A man can meet a woman in the club and later find out he doesn't like her going to clubs anymore.

Its like you're saying he should stay and prove his masculinity by pretending to be unfazed by her profession and ALSO lifestyle. No. He knows deep down this woman is a headache and not long term material. The reasons why he laid out perfectly. A real man has principles. And for all we know when he met her she wasn't even doing some of those things yet. Nobody will tell you all their 322 red flags on the first date...

Psychology is just a word for a skill. You dont have to be a politician to understand politics. Or even better, a car mechanic to fix a car ect ect. That doesn't mean you are right by default, just saying.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Lots to reply to in a bit. In the meantime, he should thank her for all the press. I am definitely watching his documentary now.