How to get out of this vicious cycle?

[Gamisch]

No idea, I’d have to see a video of myself and my date in order to look at what it potentially could be, really can’t think of anything.

??? Are these dates so forgettable? You must at least be able to reconstruct what's been said and done? If you can't , you are unable to learn. You don't always need videos to learn from previous mistakes whatever it is you're trying to learn?

I'm just thinkin out loud but why does it seem like most of you guys on here don't reside in the USA?

Just facts..the world is much bigger than the USA alone. Men all around the globe are struggling haha..

 

[Redwood]

??? Are these dates so forgettable? You must at least be able to reconstruct what's been said and done? If you can't , you are unable to learn. You don't always need videos to learn from previous mistakes whatever it is you're trying to learn?




Just facts..the world is much bigger than the USA alone. Men all around the globe are struggling haha..

It always seem to begin with us though

 

[Ricky]

- I don't think so, I think they're pretty up to date
- Fine, I'm a good conversationalist and easy to get along, but I might not be the funnest guy, I'm more the deep and brooding kind of guy

I take it you're on the funner and easier side for women want to hang out with you again

you are self aware so this is good young jedi

1)you have to be fun. Women want a diversion.

2) you have to hit some point of connection. Build comfort and some reason why you both “click”

3) you hopefully then seduce and escalate

work on the first 2 first. If you get these right you will get into positions like 3

 

[Gamisch]

It always seem to begin with us though

Always!

We men prefer a woman whose kjnda sheltered. A fine woman who doesn't know too many people and is somewhat of a exclusivity.

Women prefer a man who is wanted by other women. One that is appealing to most women but despite that picks her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm 37, with a good career and a good creative side career. However over the last 1,5 years since I've been single, I've only (except 1) had rejections / first dates that never went on to become second dates. OK, I get that it's a numbers game, but whenever I get rejected (like I said, almost all cases now), I spiral down into feeling depressed and succumbing to staying in, eating crap food and doing nothing. Then I get out of that mood, go out and exercise more, then feel a bit better about myself, but only to go on a first date, get rejected again and down we go again. How does one get out of this vicious cycle to not get sucked down every time (all the time basically) when one gets rejected?

Do more of it until it becomes not a big deal. Dating is a numbers game. If you are giving up after one date, you are going to be single for a very very long time.

I used to schedule 3-4 dates a week with new women when I was single so if one didn't bite, no big deal, I had another one coming up tomorrow or the next day.

Probably had a string of 10 dates or so where it was one date only...used it to analyze what I was doing wrong and made adjustments and started seeing success. In my case it was being too sexual too early.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Just facts..the world is much bigger than the USA alone. Men all around the globe are struggling haha..

 

[BeExcellent]

If he’s numb inside that translates to his vibe.

Some cultures are very tough externally but people have to let others in for intimacy to occur. You’ve got to not be numb, have a warmer vibe & some charm.

No woman wants to date a robot.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

If he’s numb inside that translates to his vibe.

Some cultures are very tough externally but people have to let others in for intimacy to occur. You’ve got to not be numb, have a warmer vibe & some charm.

No woman wants to date a robot.

But the money is in robotics...

 

[MatureDJ]

Men all around the globe are struggling haha..

It's OVER for AllAroundGlobeCels.

 

[user252009]

What country OP?

Germany

 

[MatureDJ]

Germany

What about the sauna clubs there?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Germany

Not the best country to be in for game, but at least there are Protestant girls you can hit up (assuming there's a difference between them and the Catholic women). But there's also a large migrant population that many of the women there welcomed with open arms so they could be more picky with men. Which is still odd considering Germans have a closed off attitude. They're not the extreme @ssholes the historians would like you to think they are, but they're generally not a warm bunch.

Are you close to either the French or Polish border?

 

[inquisitor]

I'm 37, with a good career and a good creative side career. However over the last 1,5 years since I've been single, I've only (except 1) had rejections / first dates that never went on to become second dates. OK, I get that it's a numbers game, but whenever I get rejected (like I said, almost all cases now), I spiral down into feeling depressed and succumbing to staying in, eating crap food and doing nothing. Then I get out of that mood, go out and exercise more, then feel a bit better about myself, but only to go on a first date, get rejected again and down we go again. How does one get out of this vicious cycle to not get sucked down every time (all the time basically) when one gets rejected?

A no doesn't always mean no. There's a lot of nuances to rejection when it comes from women. Never take most of what they say literally. Their rejection is often time dependent - you never know when that no might turn into a yes, just not in that particular moment.

The acceptance also has to come from yourself first. When you let her words affect you and what you think of yourself, she wins. Genuine acceptance comes from knowing yourself, so know yourself.

 

[user252009]

Are you close to either the French or Polish border?

No

 

[user252009]

A no doesn't always mean no. There's a lot of nuances to rejection when it comes from women.

I've learned to stop asking after they don't meet for the first time or after they're avoiding trying to meet for the second time