‘What’s the worst that can happen if you approach, Bro?’

[CornbreadFed]

You are meeting decent girls through OLD?

If you can meet decent girls through cold approach, why is it impossible to do it on OLD?

 

[ManlyMan]

Even if somebody did a bunch stupid un-calibrated cold approach (just hypothetically speaking). They would still in most cases more than likely find some girls who are interested. Than they would draw the conclusion that all these people talking poorly of men approaching women in public are really just c0ck-blockers that more than likely use creepy online dating apps

 

[SW15]

The website experience (pre-swipe app) was traumatizing enough with me (ie despite stricking it lucky in 2012 and having very limited encounters prior to that) that I couldn't bother even trying swipe apps as I was too burned out from the website. Now in 2023 I'm no longer burned out from the previous website experience and am more open-minded towards swipe apps.

Do swipe apps have profiles like websites? Allot of women looked at my profile but never sent a message, replied to my message, or if they did reply, it was with one lame sentance to be nice but you know they were not interested.

Are swipe apps more efficient than that and cuts over the nonsence of messages that are not replied to or getting lame reply messages? (ie if you get matches you get really interested women vs you are getting fake matches that lead to dead-ends)?

But is that different from website rejections? Allot of times I'd see if my message was sent, if it was open-read, if my profile was watched, etc.. and there was allot of guessing with it. Swipe apps are more efficient than this with less guess work? There was a more window-shopping vibe with the websites.

If I were to describe the swipe app experience to someone who had been in a relationship for the last 10-15 years and they used dating websites back in the late 2000s/early 2010s, this is how I would describe it.

Imagine every bad thing you remember about dating websites. Then, multiply that by a factor of at least 10x. That's the swipe app experience.

Yes, swipe apps have profiles like websites.

In the website era, men could send messages to any woman on the website. In the swipe app era, you need to right swipe on her and she needs to right swipe on you for messaging to be possible. Additionally, if you are on Bumble, she needs to send the first message within a given time period after the mutual right swipe.

Both the swipe apps of today and the websites of 10-15 years ago have a window shopping vibe.

There's still guess work with swipe apps too.

Mutual right swipe rates are lower than message response rates of 10-15 years ago on websites.

I had unsatisfying experiences both on dating websites and in my efforts with swipe apps. I chose to only focus on arranging first dates through real life methods.

 

[corrector]

Yes, swipe apps have profiles like websites.

Really? On a typical screen how is the profile going to look like on a smartphone? You are going to see the picture mainly right and maybe some basic stats? Would you have to spend time to put in a well written profile or is it just putting a selfie or photo and with a few answers here and there about the stats (ie height, age, race, etc....) and away you go?

In the website era, men could send messages to any woman on the website. In the swipe app era, you need to right swipe on her and she needs to right swipe on you for messaging to be possible. Additionally, if you are on Bumble, she needs to send the first message within a given time period after the mutual right swipe.

What is the efficiency of right-swipes? Is there allot of fake matches where you are both right swiped, you send a message and there is no reply or she flakes out? The matching aspect sounds easy to do during "dead-time" while messaging sounds like it would need more thought/game.

Mutual right swipe rates are lower than message response rates of 10-15 years ago on websites.

What about message response rates arising from mutual right swipe rates?

I had unsatisfying experiences both on dating websites and in my efforts with swipe apps. I chose to only focus on arranging first dates through real life methods.

In terms of the amount of time wasted and the ability to use during dead-time (ie shopping in line, using the toilet, fapping, while watching a boring moment of a TV-show/movie, on a train, etc....). I didn't use websites during "dead-time" and allot of movement on websites is very intentionally focused.

If we look at @CornbreadFed treatment of it. The downsides are low with OLD (ie a lady is not going to call the police because you messaged her or swiped right on her profile but there is a risk with CA) that are not there with CA. If you just looked at the downsides and minimizing of risk, and use of dead-time constructively, which is the best approach? I might focus on dead-time spots and how much of these happen through the day and what I'm doing during those times. I should be thinking, I'm feeling bored as crazy, let me try some swipe apps, or "I'm fapping at xyz, lets try some swipe apps, maybe I'll get lucky", etc... If you integrate it like that then I think it sounds interesting.

 

[SW15]

If we look at @CornbreadFed treatment of it. The downsides are low with OLD (ie a lady is not going to call the police because you messaged her or swiped right on her profile but there is a risk with CA) that are not there with CA. If you just looked at the downsides and minimizing of risk, and use of dead-time constructively, which is the best approach? I might focus on dead-time spots and how much of these happen through the day and what I'm doing during those times. I should be thinking, I'm feeling bored as crazy, let me try some swipe apps, or "I'm fapping at xyz, lets try some swipe apps, maybe I'll get lucky", etc... If you integrate it like that then I think it sounds interesting.

Most cold approachers do not get cops called on them. This only happens in a minimal amount of interactions and usually with someone who is socially uncalibrated. In malls, mall security isn't going to bother most cold approachers unless it is obvious that the cold approaching is annoying people. There's a way to cold approach that makes it look natural. I've had women tell me that they were happy to meet me so unexpectedly from a non-bar approach. They didn't know that I was doing an 'approach session' of dedicated time going to a venue and seeking to start conversations with strangers.

Swipe apps have the illusion of efficiency. It feels different to sit at home looking like crap and swipe on prospects as compared to making yourself look presentable and go out into the real world and do approaches. I've had approach sessions where I was outdoors for 2 hours and got absolutely nothing from it. That's a normal outcome from an approach session. In those approach sessions, I could have sat at home, swiped, and achieved the same result.

There are skills developed from the real world. It's incredibly satisfying to start a conversation with a woman in public, talk with her for some amount of time, arrange a first date, and get her phone number.

 

[VirtuousD]

You wanna know what is bs? You playing the race card when it comes to dating.

This ain't the 1950's bruh.

Have to write off most of your advice after this awful take. Race is absolutely a major barrier in cold approaching if we're being real. The stereotypes black men have are nothing to just brush off i'd sternly warn against any of us going up to random chicks just because we think they're hot. Black men are better off diversifying and expanding their social circle so they're around a range of different types of people rather than cold approaching.

Unless i'm at some Afrocentric spot or venue that's centred around black music/entertainment i'm very weary of approaching non black women and completely agree with @cornbredfred on that.

 

[Gamisch]

Most cold approachers do not get cops called on them. This only happens in a minimal amount of interactions and usually with someone who is socially uncalibrated. In malls, mall security isn't going to bother most cold approachers unless it is obvious that the cold approaching is annoying people. There's a way to cold approach that makes it look natural. I've had women tell me that they were happy to meet me so unexpectedly from a non-bar approach. They didn't know that I was doing an 'approach session' of dedicated time going to a venue and seeking to start conversations with strangers.

Swipe apps have the illusion of efficiency. It feels different to sit at home looking like crap and swipe on prospects as compared to making yourself look presentable and go out into the real world and do approaches. I've had approach sessions where I was outdoors for 2 hours and got absolutely nothing from it. That's a normal outcome from an approach session. In those approach sessions, I could have sat at home, swiped, and achieved the same result.

There are skills developed from the real world. It's incredibly satisfying to start a conversation with a woman in public, talk with her for some amount of time, arrange a first date, and get her phone number.

I don't know why people think that CA means tapping on a girl's back and ask her to feck you.

Its hard enough to make a move hen she gave obviously ioi. So you must trigger ioi. By being the hottest dude in the room. Even when you're not..

At least you were outside actively trying to make it work. For all you know some other women spotted you and you've planted mental seeds.

When will you start doing CA again?

 

[Gamisch]

Have to write off most of your advice after this awful take. Race is absolutely a major barrier in cold approaching if we're being real. The stereotypes black men have are nothing to just brush off i'd sternly warn against any of us going up to random chicks just because we think they're hot. Black men are better off diversifying and expanding their social circle so they're around a range of different types of people rather than cold approaching.

Unless i'm at some Afrocentric spot or venue that's centred around black music/entertainment i'm very weary of approaching non black women and completely agree with @cornbredfred on that.

Thats on you bruh. Let's go through some race copes shall we?

-Latin men: I am not "Latino" enough. I dont look like Ricky Martin so I'm a disappointment to women falling for latin men. Plus I'm rather short. (See black men section)

Asian men/indian men: i am indian /Asian, no one wants indian/Asian men.

Black men; I'm black. These women are racist due upbringing even if they don't say it or know it yet.. They'll feel threatened by me.(see Latin section) .

White men: I wished i was ANYTHING but white...only Asian women from Asia looking for a greencard like me
______________________________________
Meanwhile in MY reality I know at least 5 slayers from all these races....a hot, dope and self assured person =a hot ,dope and self assured person. But if you rather hide behind your race as a cope ,you do you.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Have to write off most of your advice after this awful take.

Then go over there to the beta side of the lunch room.

Race is absolutely a major barrier in cold approaching if we're being real.

Yeah and so is height, weight, build, and facial features.

Any of those can be barriers when it comes in both cold approaching and OLD.

Not just race.

The stereotypes black men have are nothing to just brush off i'd sternly warn against any of us going up to random chicks just because we think they're hot.

I am a Black man who has had success cold approaching (and bagging) women who I thought were hot.

So you can keep your warnings.

You guys are constantly on here trying to sh!t on the concept of cold approach, just because you are too afraid to do it.

And it is disgusting.

Black men are better off diversifying and expanding their social circle so they're around a range of different types of people rather than cold approaching.

In the time it takes you to diversify and expand your social circle, I would have approached 30 women and would have smashed at least 10 of them.

Easy.

Unless i'm at some Afrocentric spot or venue that's centred around black music/entertainment i'm very weary of approaching non black women and completely agree with @cornbredfred on that.

Like I said before, this ain't the 1950's.

Interracial dating today is at an all time high...and I've had some of my best choosing signals come from non-Black women.

So miss me with that bullsh!t.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Most cold approachers do not get cops called on them. This only happens in a minimal amount of interactions and usually with someone who is socially uncalibrated. In malls, mall security isn't going to bother most cold approachers unless it is obvious that the cold approaching is annoying people. There's a way to cold approach that makes it look natural. I've had women tell me that they were happy to meet me so unexpectedly from a non-bar approach. They didn't know that I was doing an 'approach session' of dedicated time going to a venue and seeking to start conversations with strangers.

I am not a doom and gloomer to cold approaching, but I do think some posters on here are looking at it at rose colored lenses and just completely shvtting on OLD. Does this normally happen? No, but is it possible? Of course.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I am a Black man who has had success cold approaching (and bagging) women who I thought were hot.

So you can keep your warnings.

You guys are constantly on here trying to sh!t on the concept of cold approach, just because you are too afraid to do it.

And it is disgusting.

Nobody is shvtting on cold approach, y’all are more hostile to OLD than cold approach. You have success because you approach women within your target market which makes your race an advantage not a disadvantage.

Like I said before, this ain't the 1950's.

Interracial dating today is at an all time high...and I've had some of my best choosing signals come from non-Black women.

So miss me with that bullsh!t.

are most couples interracial though? You are acting like it’s a clear majority of couples today. I think it’s 19% for the US and even lower when you filter out the non black male ones.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Then go over there to the beta side of the lunch room.



Yeah and so is height, weight, build, and facial features.

Any of those can be barriers when it comes in both cold approaching and OLD.

Not just race.



I am a Black man who has had success cold approaching (and bagging) women who I thought were hot.

So you can keep your warnings.

You guys are constantly on here trying to sh!t on the concept of cold approach, just because you are too afraid to do it.

And it is disgusting.



In the time it takes you to diversify and expand your social circle, I would have approached 30 women and would have smashed at least 10 of them.

Easy.



Like I said before, this ain't the 1950's.

Interracial dating today is at an all time high...and I've had some of my best choosing signals come from non-Black women.

So miss me with that bullsh!t.

Black girls are different depending on where you are. IME if they feel there's too much competition from other races or if they feel they have to work too hard, they're too difficult. When I lived in Atlanta, I only dated black girls. When I lived in San Diego, I would target them along with other races. Now that I live in Arizona, I avoid them. I imagine in Detroit they wouldn't have the attitude they do in some other places.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Nobody is shvtting on cold approach

Yeah, and I'm still waiting on that cold approach thread.

, y’all are more hostile to OLD than cold approach.

Not at all. I've maintained using both.

But for maximum results, cold approach is superior over any other single method of getting a woman.

Facts not opinions.

You have success because you approach women within your target market which makes your race an advantage not a disadvantage.

My target market = any woman I find attractive.

Doesn't matter if she is Black, White, Chinese, or Candy Stripe.

are most couples interracial though? You are acting like it’s a clear majority of couples today. I think it’s 19% for the US and even lower when you filter out the non black male ones.

And I bet the percentage is even higher for individuals (on all sides) who are at least open to the possibility of dating or sleeping with someone of a different race.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Black girls are different depending on where you are.

Bro, either she is attracted to you or not.

To hell with where you are.

Although your point is conceded

IME if they feel there's too much competition from other races or if they feel they have to work too hard, they're too difficult.

If she is attracted to you, the difficulty becomes easier.

When I lived in Atlanta, I only dated black girls. When I lived in San Diego, I would target them along with other races.

Makes sense, considering Atlanta has a predominantly Black population while San Diego is more diverse.

Now that I live in Arizona

What part of AZ?

, I avoid them. I imagine in Detroit they wouldn't have the attitude they do in some other places.

I love Black women, but as you alluded to above, not all "black" is created equal.

The Detroit black is different than the Phoenix black.

Not better, just different.

Detroit women are more rough, rugged, and raw around the edges.

Phoenix women are less rough and smoothed out around the edges.

But either way, they all get treated the same.

Mode One.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I believe in this a lot. Over the years of being a daygamer, I've probably passed on more approaches than I've taken. A lot of times, when I consider making an approach, I make strong eye contact with my target and smile at her. If she doesn't respond or appears distracted (phone, texting, earbuds, dog walking, etc.), I don't approach. I don't want to do low percentage approaches.

I guess that can be borderline extreme but I do respect it. My take for doing cold approaches is:

1. Is she hot and worth it?

2. Is she running somewhere or looks very pissed off/in a rush? Then don't do it.

3. Is it the right situation or is it just awful to where we are in a packed place with tons of nosy strangers nearby?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Bro, either she is attracted to you or not.

To hell with where you are.

Although your point is conceded



If she is attracted to you, the difficulty becomes easier.



Makes sense, considering Atlanta has a predominantly Black population while San Diego is more diverse.



What part of AZ?



I love Black women, but as you alluded to above, not all "black" is created equal.

The Detroit black is different than the Phoenix black.

Not better, just different.

Detroit women are more rough, rugged, and raw around the edges.

Phoenix women are less rough and smoothed out around the edges.

But either way, they all get treated the same.

Mode One.

Phx black women are extra sassy compared to anywhere else I've lived. And there are a lot of hot blonde white women here, and a lot of latinas and the dudes here aren't really that strong SMV wise compared to say, California. So it's not like ATL where they rule the roost or like SD where it's a sausagefest and they don't have to work as hard.

It kinda sucks tbh but I'm going to shoot for the 20-something black girls here, they give me lots of IOI's in public but I'm lazy with using OLD for so long. I need to get my act together.

 

[Gamisch]

Then go over there to the beta side of the lunch room.



Yeah and so is height, weight, build, and facial features.

Any of those can be barriers when it comes in both cold approaching and OLD.

Not just race.



I am a Black man who has had success cold approaching (and bagging) women who I thought were hot.

So you can keep your warnings.

You guys are constantly on here trying to sh!t on the concept of cold approach, just because you are too afraid to do it.

And it is disgusting.



In the time it takes you to diversify and expand your social circle, I would have approached 30 women and would have smashed at least 10 of them.

Easy.



Like I said before, this ain't the 1950's.

Interracial dating today is at an all time high...and I've had some of my best choosing signals come from non-Black women.

So miss me with that bullsh!t.

My white friends always say: "Gamisch you are tall and black so ofcourse you get ioi all the time . We are just white boys ,women don't want that ".

In

Nobody is shvtting on cold approach, y’all are more hostile to OLD than cold approach. You have success because you approach women within your target market which makes your race an advantage not a disadvantage.




are most couples interracial though? You are acting like it’s a clear majority of couples today. I think it’s 19% for the US and even lower when you filter out the non black male ones.

In my world there's a 100% interracial rate,because i only date women from other races. It's rather circumstantial tbh. I love all races. They all have their unique qualities and features.

I am their " first black dude" most of the time.


You decide whether the statistics are in your favor or not. There will always be a statistic either to your advantage or against you.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Just get out there and do what works for you. Adjust when necessary. No need to argue about it.

 

[SW15]

Majority of cold approach and good game during the day is social awareness and knowing when not to open. It is why there are so many PUAs and "daygamers" who have 100s of approaches a month but little to show for it.

I believe in this a lot. Over the years of being a daygamer, I've probably passed on more approaches than I've taken. A lot of times, when I consider making an approach, I make strong eye contact with my target and smile at her. If she doesn't respond or appears distracted (phone, texting, earbuds, dog walking, etc.), I don't approach. I don't want to do low percentage approaches.

I guess that can be borderline extreme but I do respect it. My take for doing cold approaches is:

1. Is she hot and worth it?

2. Is she running somewhere or looks very pissed off/in a rush? Then don't do it.

3. Is it the right situation or is it just awful to where we are in a packed place with tons of nosy strangers nearby?

All stranger approaches are low percentage options, but certain situations are even lower than the average stranger approach setting.

2 and 3 are easier to identify in the field. There are so many women who have their faces in their cell phone screens. That's an instance of not to approach. Most women wearing earbuds are not worth approaching either. Earbud wearers are low percentage approach options even in the context of approaching strangers.

1 is a little trickier. The "hot" part isn't. Either a woman passes the erection test or she doesn't. The "worth it" part is the tricky part.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Yeah, and I'm still waiting on that cold approach thread.

Since you have this near 100% success rate with cold approaching random attractive women, I feel like it’s in the best interest of the community for you to make the thread.

And I bet the percentage is even higher for individuals (on all sides) who are at least open to the possibility of dating or sleeping with someone of a different race.

but most people aren’t lol

In my world there's a 100% interracial rate,because i only date women from other races. It's rather circumstantial tbh. I love all races. They all have their unique qualities and features.

I am their " first black dude" most of the time.


You decide whether the statistics are in your favor or not. There will always be a statistic either to your advantage or against you.

I am sure there’s plenty of gay guys that brag about bagging straight men. In reality, it is a rare instance regardless of his experiences. I personally don’t date American white women, I don’t care how hot you think they are, I wouldn’t touch one with a 10 ft pole. She can come bribe me to have sex with her and I still wouldn’t do it. People have strong racial preferences and it’s not a guilt complex to acknowledge that(I’m not accusing you of accusing me of that btw).