Work affair 45 vs 26 years old

[Alpha Demon]

Hello DJ dudes, I give you a little background for context.

Im a 45 years old officer in a Company, I drive a Premium Car, 6 foot, and have a shredded 6 pack, since I started reading Sosuave, I hardly take crap from girls (but exceptionally happen) married and with kids (So I’m definitely I’m not a needy chump).

I had a very rough last 2 years financially and professionally, with several debts, low self esteem, etc., but lately I was given an opportunity to start my comeback in a little beach town and I moved alone while the job confirms me in the position, which will happen soon, I’m starting my comeback to the real old me.

In my new job I met a 26 years old girl that I liked, nothing wonderful but fit, nice buddy, lovely smile eyes and personality, we really get along very good despite the ages. Maybe due to my current situation I started caring for her faster and more that I would under different circumstances. Besides, my family will move with me in 2 months and I have been trying to speed-up things and seize the time.

I started behaving ****y and funny and it worked, she started showing a behavior of big interest on me, and after a couple of weeks we were sexting and sending personalized sexy pics on working hours.

She has a chum boyfriend and she knows I’m married so she proposed to have a relationship based only on sex, leaving romantic stuff aside (I’d rather to have her as a girlfriend and sexual lover than just sexual lover but I took it).

Problem

We have not had sex, and physical contact has been very difficult (beyond my kyno approaches) and It has not evolved since the sexy pics, after work she doesn’t text because she is busy with her bf, and became distant.

Next days (to our incomplete non-satisfactory chats) she acts like nothing happened and our conversations go from sexting to real shallow stuff according to her activities or interest or horny mood.

She avoids personal deep communications, only chats, and avoids going out with me even for a quick bite during work hours.

Last Monday I gave her a little space considering she has some periodical health issues and she is too young, and she coincidentally reached me at lunch hour and we lunched together only stuff that did not have to do with our relationship status to avoid having an uncomfortable situation given it was the first kind of “date”.

Yesterday I asked her (by whatsapp) about her sexual mood and started sexting again looking for a sexual date, chat was ok, until she told me If my kids were as cute as I am, because I’m good sperm material to have a kid in case she doesn’t get married in a couple years, my payment for my donation would be to **** her several times before, eventually she told me that I was her Plan B, I told her I‘m not a Plan B, and she became silly, eventually left and today didn’t address to the topic (again, like a reset and as nothing happened).

Today I only met her at the morning for a kiss and hug (as it has been this 3 last days) and then shut communications and behaved a little less than rude/ignoring her. When she left she texted me to ask if I was annoyed or mad at her (which I certainly am).

I’m sill deciding if ignoring her again tomorrow and thereafter, or when she asks me again, telling her it’s insulting what she said (with details) and, therefore each one should continue on their own and see how it goes.

Any comments? Thanks
AD

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

She's causing too much headache man. You will be putting yourself under too much pain by pursuing this b*tch. Also she seems to be living with her bf. If her bf figures out, this could be problem for you. Worst part is that you work in the same place. Cut of the bandaid and find less troublesome chicks.

 

[mikedee]

Problems ahead.
You're married with a family
She's a coworker
She has a boyfriend
She is weird.

I don't understand why you put yourself in such a ****ty situation, it smells bad.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I’m sill deciding if ignoring her again tomorrow and thereafter, or when she asks me again, telling her it’s insulting what she said (with details) and, therefore each one should continue on their own and see how it goes.

Not sure what you want from that chick..... if it is just sex, you are already to much invested with your emotions.

1. Dont be a drama queen about what she said. Thats not getting her wet.
2. Escalate things....... she either is down to fvck NOW or never. If you let weeks pass, she will put you into the friendzone.
3. If she is not ok with escalating, this is going nowhere and she just strings you along for attention.----> NEXT

 

[Bigpapa]

With women like this you do not communicate that much. You push and push f2f till something happens

You blow up all the sexual tension by sexting

 

[CornbreadFed]

Lol watch OP get divorced from cheating and come back on here crying about the system. I agree with @mikedee, this post has more red flags than a Chinese parade.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Lol watch OP get divorced from cheating and come back on here crying about the system.

Cheating will not be reason he gets divorced.

He’s likely to be accused of sexual harassment and possibly fired, which is a huge embarrassment and financial liability for the family. That is what causes the divorce.

Men, listen carefully:

The reason women despise cheating is because you are jeopardizing her financial bottom line. It has nothing to do with “morality.”

 

[EyeBRollin]

Yea the situation sounds weird but this aint church and the DJ way is to swap notes.
For OPs goal he is going about it wrong. Too up her azz.

He’s going about it wrong because she is the wrong target. Don’t shvt where you eat. Workplace affairs will usually destroy a family. It is too much of a financial risk. If he loses his job over this he is fvcked.

 

[Alpha Demon]

First of all, thanks for all the feedback bros, it’s not the same to know the situation when you are in the middle of the issue but to hear/read it from other expert bros to keep things in perspective.
1. Having the affair in the job has not been my main concern, since it is a very open place regarding sexual stuff and relationships besides this girl has no professional interaction with me (anyway there is always a risk, Im aware).
2. Certainly If I would hace found her in another time of my life I would have acted different, but it seemed like water in the desert, or a price for overcoming bad times, as a token of getting back to the path and place I had, maybe like when you find money in your pants and you feel lucky. Made me feel alive.
3. The deal she offered was pretty good, for me, even if I involved emotions, the problem is that it just doesn’t happen, lime stringpuller stated.
4. Sexting kept her aroused, but then I realized it made her wet for her bf, and so I told her and restricted it.
5. I was thinking on acting between the advices of CyrustheGreat and ThisisSparta, ignoring, taken special attention away and let her come or just leave the thing evolve or die. However a couple of times with other young girls I gave them a piece of my mind in similar situations and it ended with me dating the girl.
6.Since I have social recognition at job and some job/social events, she also is getting to realize she misses my attention, that is starting to go to other persons.
Thanks again, I really appreciate it dj bros

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You must have lost your fvcking mind. Eject immediately before this costs you your job and your family and you have nothing to show for it because she isn't going to fvck you either.

You think you morphed into something you aren't...as if you can just flip a switch and suddenly go from being AFC Bob to Alpha Chad within a month or so just by a few actions. Sorry to burst your bubble but mentally you cannot possibly be congruent with that. Ie, your own mind doesn't believe you, so she won't either.

She sees through it because you are incongruent in your behavior and actions.

 

[Alpha Demon]

You must have lost your fvcking mind. Eject immediately before this costs you your job and your family and you have nothing to show for it because she isn't going to fvck you either.

You think you morphed into something you aren't...as if you can just flip a switch and suddenly go from being AFC Bob to Alpha Chad within a month or so just by a few actions. Sorry to burst your bubble but mentally you cannot possibly be congruent with that. Ie, your own mind doesn't believe you, so she won't either.

She sees through it because you are incongruent in your behavior and actions.

Good point Bro, it’s not easy to switch, however when you eject, somehow you are switching behaviors, but certainly anyway there might be some in congruencies.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

First of all, thanks for all the feedback bros, it’s not the same to know the situation when you are in the middle of the issue but to hear/read it from other expert bros to keep things in perspective.
1. Having the affair in the job has not been my main concern, since it is a very open place regarding sexual stuff and relationships besides this girl has no professional interaction with me (anyway there is always a risk, Im aware).
2. Certainly If I would hace found her in another time of my life I would have acted different, but it seemed like water in the desert, or a price for overcoming bad times, as a token of getting back to the path and place I had, maybe like when you find money in your pants and you feel lucky. Made me feel alive.
3. The deal she offered was pretty good, for me, even if I involved emotions, the problem is that it just doesn’t happen, lime stringpuller stated.
4. Sexting kept her aroused, but then I realized it made her wet for her bf, and so I told her and restricted it.
5. I was thinking on acting between the advices of CyrustheGreat and ThisisSparta, ignoring, taken special attention away and let her come or just leave the thing evolve or die. However a couple of times with other young girls I gave them a piece of my mind in similar situations and it ended with me dating the girl.
6.Since I have social recognition at job and some job/social events, she also is getting to realize she misses my attention, that is starting to go to other persons.
Thanks again, I really appreciate it dj bros

When you're sexting, are you talking about sex in general, or sex with each other in particular? Is she making a point to say how much she's wanting to phuck & suck your D, is there mutual masturbation, etc? Are there nudes being sent or just racy pics?

Ime the type of sexting involved can make a difference.

The other thing I noticed was the girl's health issues. Maybe she's doing this to keep herself amused bc her spare time/energy is low.

 

[Alpha Demon]

When you're sexting, are you talking about sex in general, or sex with each other in particular? Is she making a point to say how much she's wanting to phuck & suck your D, is there mutual masturbation, etc? Are there nudes being sent or just racy pics?

Ime the type of sexting involved can make a difference.

The other thing I noticed was the girl's health issues. Maybe she's doing this to keep herself amused bc her spare time/energy is low.

Yes bro, it went from gym pics, to explicit sex stickers, to pictures and videos of her masturbating, to personalized top less pics here at works Bathroom.
Sexting involved me and her expressing how we would like to ****, suck, touch in explicit manners.

regarding her health issues, on the contrary, there she relaxed things.

the problem is that she is back to almost normal health and we still don't escalate, and I cant be a Plan B, I mean, I can share the food but can’t wait for the leftovers.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Yes bro, it went from gym pics, to explicit sex stickers, to pictures and videos of her masturbating, to personalized top less pics here at works Bathroom.
Sexting involved me and her expressing how we would like to ****, suck, touch in explicit manners.

regarding her health issues, on the contrary, there she relaxed things.

the problem is that she is back to almost normal health and we still don't escalate, and I cant be a Plan B, I mean, I can share the food but can’t wait for the leftovers.

My bad, I didn't read the OP very closely. Looks like this chick is avoiding bonding and is objectifying you. She's playing games by joking around about you being a "sperm donor" when you haven't even had sex. Between this chick's behavior and the fact you work together, time to step back and detach. Don't answer if you're mad as I suspect she'd use that against you to try and draw you back in. Just be chill and detached as much as possible.

To keep with the food analogy, this is like you buying food for the both of you, her eating by herself and then leaving you leftovers. This girl is too selfish to deal with imo.

Edit: more like buying food for her and another guy...

 

[Alpha Demon]

My bad, I didn't read the OP very closely. Looks like this chick is avoiding bonding and is objectifying you. She's playing games by joking around about you being a "sperm donor" when you haven't even had sex. Between this chick's behavior and the fact you work together, time to step back and detach. Don't answer if you're mad as I suspect she'd use that against you to try and draw you back in. Just be chill and detached as much as possible.

To keep with the food analogy, this is like you buying food for the both of you, her eating by herself and then leaving you leftovers. This girl is too selfish to deal with imo.

Thanks bro,
Great catch with the objectification issue, I agree, which it makes sense, since has a bf.

In the sperm donor stuff, it also pisses me that, in her assumption, I would wait, and also mi price is f***+ing her, like she is Charlize Theron, and makes me the favor…

Regarding the food analogy, Im not buying nor serving for someone else to eat her, to see if I get the leftovers.

 

[Skyline]

Can you do me a favor and read your post?

you come across as arrogant and not enjoyable to be around. Women are vultures when it comes to finding good vibes.

Also, you’re an Officer of a company and you’ve never had work girlfriends? I’ve had several work girlfriends(most of the time more than 2 at once) where we would talk and flirt during work hours but they went back to their boyfriends on off hours.

This is called having options for the future. If a woman is dancing around in her work force then she’s going to split up. You don’t have to do anything if you’re already flirting/talking to her at work, just go ghost/wait for her to reach out when her relationships ends.

also, again, you’re risking a very high paying job for some woman bc she’s hot to you.

You need to get your priorities checked and focus on yourself. Your ego isn’t real confidence, trust me.

 

[Murk]

Tell her to meet you in the bathroom after work. I banged a colleague in the downstairs toilet, bareback, the memory still excites me 6 years later.

You just need logistics, at work after hours is perfect just find a room and nut inside her while she’s ovulating and foaming up. Send her to the bf with nut running down her legs.

 

[Ricky]

Tell her to meet you in the bathroom after work. I banged a colleague in the downstairs toilet, bareback, the memory still excites me 6 years later.

You just need logistics, at work after hours is perfect just find a room and nut inside her while she’s ovulating and foaming up. Send her to the bf with nut running down her legs.

Ive heard of this happening at my workplace also

 

[Alpha Demon]

Can you do me a favor and read your post?

you come across as arrogant and not enjoyable to be around. Women are vultures when it comes to finding good vibes.

Also, you’re an Officer of a company and you’ve never had work girlfriends? I’ve had several work girlfriends(most of the time more than 2 at once) where we would talk and flirt during work hours but they went back to their boyfriends on off hours.

This is called having options for the future. If a woman is dancing around in her work force then she’s going to split up. You don’t have to do anything if you’re already flirting/talking to her at work, just go ghost/wait for her to reach out when her relationships ends.

also, again, you’re risking a very high paying job for some woman bc she’s hot to you.

You need to get your priorities checked and focus on yourself. Your ego isn’t real confidence, trust me.

Great feedback bro.

I clarify since the beginning I acted enjoyable, not arrogant.

Yes, I have had work girlfriends and with different approaches and outcomes, but in this specific case, that is the exact situation, after work hours, I don't get any text or reply at all, everything is paused until next day at office. Really sucks, I'm not a toy.

Regarding the options in the future, also agree, this girl is dancing around, I don't get the reason of why she acts like you said, if she is in a somehow new/shallow relationship with her average bf, that is not enough to even haver sexually satisfied (because she is looking for me), why she has such a behavior instead of looking for such options in the present, since there they are, and on the contrary, she prefers to keep the same situation, jeopardizing a potential better relationship if I send her away.

From my end, the sooner the better because I have to determine if I have to make some room for her in my daily schedule/life and if it's worthy, before my family arrives to live with me.

Also, waiting for her to split up seems like having the leftovers of her bf.

When I go ghost, first is a battle for power, she ignores me (in private) acts cool (in public), and if I keep ignoring her, after some hours she makes a small talk comment, and eventually she tells me not to be mad at her, without even realizing or acknowledging why I treat her like that, she wants to return to the usual communication with me, which she tries to control by the way.

I don't think that I have acted on ego nor self confidence lately, since I had a rough time that I 'm barely starting to leave behind.

Thanks bro

 

[Alpha Demon]

Tell her to meet you in the bathroom after work. I banged a colleague in the downstairs toilet, bareback, the memory still excites me 6 years later.

You just need logistics, at work after hours is perfect just find a room and nut inside her while she’s ovulating and foaming up. Send her to the bf with nut running down her legs.

LOL, I invited her a couple of times when we where in a boring meeting, she just sexted and joked about, but I told her I was waiting her in the bathroom... needless to say it didn't happen.

She avoids to be with me if we are alone, when we are, she looses this coolness she "has" and gets nervous, I think the sexual tension rises up.

Just last Monday she and I "coincidentally" (controlled by her) she and I went for a quick bite to eat, I kept it cool and easy going, no sex talk or pressure, to avoid her to be nervous and give her a reason to justify not spending alone time with me.

As mentioned in the previous reply, it seems that she is not convinced with her relationship and she likes me, but she doesn't do anything to change that, as if she was buying time for her to split up soon but not just yet and having me ready to jump in.

Thanks Bro.