Transferring Online Dating Results to Approaching IRL

CheekyMonkey101

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Hi there.

I'm a long-term lurker of this forum and this is my first thread.

A bit of context: I do pretty well on online dating and often get many likes, matches, dates and get laid quite often from it.

However, I haven't approached a girl IRL since 2015. I'm quite concerned about coming across as creepy or inappropriate approaching irl so I avoid it. Any suggestions on getting over this pretty irrational fear? I realise sometimes you just have to man up and do it, but at the same time if I get results on online dating I feel less obliged to do so, although I guess that it's best to widen your net in all areas.
 

Dr.Suave

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Pleasure of sex vs Thrill of the Hunt. You are clearly a pleasure of sex guy.

If you are getting laid just fine from OLD, its prefectly natural that you are averse to cold approaching. Its fine bro.

Many OLD haters in here. But just ignore them.
 

CheekyMonkey101

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Pleasure of sex vs Thrill of the Hunt. You are clearly a pleasure of sex guy.

If you are getting laid just fine from OLD, its prefectly natural that you are averse to cold approaching. Its fine bro.

Many OLD haters in here. But just ignore them.
That's true. I guess it's best to just find what works best for you.

Personally online dating was a Godsend for me.
 

devilkingx2

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However, I haven't approached a girl IRL since 2015. I'm quite concerned about coming across as creepy or inappropriate approaching irl so I avoid it. Any suggestions on getting over this pretty irrational fear?
For 99% of men OLD is the hardest form of approaching and you'll look better in person than in pictures. It should be easier than using dating apps and you'll get more attractive women.

It's best to have a backup method of getting girls so that if something happens to dating apps you don't lose everything.
 

SW15

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If you are getting laid from online dating, then you're doing better than a lot of men.

Why are you interested in approaching strangers if online dating is going so well?
 

CheekyMonkey101

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If you are getting laid from online dating, then you're doing better than a lot of men.

Why are you interested in approaching strangers if online dating is going so well?
Because it's probably best to cast a wider net and not be over reliant on one thing.

Yes, I agree with your comment.
 
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CheekyMonkey101

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If you are getting laid from online dating, then you're doing better than a lot of men.

Why are you interested in approaching strangers if online dating is going so well?
Because sometimes it's best to cast a wider net and not become overly reliant on one thing.

Getting better in all areas might be worth a go.
 

Murk

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Why are you interested in approaching strangers if online dating is going so well?
It’s way more fun/exciting approaching IRL. You can find a high quality low notch stranger and punch above your looksmatch.

Not really happening on OLD (it is possible). Just a conveyor belt of trash being hit up 24/7 by hundreds of men. Many that are smashing them without protection on the first date, ready for you to come play the gentlemen. OLD kinda makes me sick despite the fact I do well I just hate the women on there.
 

Robert28

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I gave up OLD because even though I got matches, went on a few dates and got sex it wasn’t producing the results I wanted. I want a relationship, not a bunch of month long things here and there. Screws my mind all up.
 

The Duke

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Almost all the girls I met doing real life approaches came out of bars. Maybe I should have fished other ponds! They werent any better or worse than what I met online. The majority of these bar finds had online dating profiles.
 

devilkingx2

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This is so untrue lol. Cold approaching is way harder than OLD. Wtf are you smoking?
Without going into exact numbers I've definitely gotten more girls and hotter girls from randomly approaching girls I don't know in real life than anything I've ever succeeded at from OLD.

It's possible that I look better in person because I don't know how to edit my photos to add 2 points like women do.

It's possible that my game is the difference because my dating app bio doesn't show off my personality as well as a conversation.

But all the data says the apps are rigged against us, and all my anecdotal experience says that the women on these apps have Beyonce's standards with Lizzo's looks.
 

CornbreadFed

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Without going into exact numbers I've definitely gotten more girls and hotter girls from randomly approaching girls I don't know in real life than anything I've ever succeeded at from OLD.

It's possible that I look better in person because I don't know how to edit my photos to add 2 points like women do.

It's possible that my game is the difference because my dating app bio doesn't show off my personality as well as a conversation.

But all the data says the apps are rigged against us, and all my anecdotal experience says that the women on these apps have Beyonce's standards with Lizzo's looks.
The issue is that this makes zero sense logically.

1). I find it hard to believe that approaching and stopping a complete stranger in the middle of the day is easier than starting a somewhat mutual conversation with someone you matched with on an app.

2). OLD offers the most neutral setting and playing field than other options. Not everyone likes club environments, not everyone has the time, money, and motivation to be a passport bro in Latin America, and etc. On OLD, I can talk to women on the toilet, at a stoplight, while working out, etc. This is something everyone can do within their own terms.

3). There’s no hot women on OLD? There’s plenty of hot women on OLD, YOU just can’t pull them. Just because YOU can’t do it doesn’t mean nobody can.

4). With all of these factors applied, it makes zero sense how one could struggle on OLD so badly but somehow be a GOD at cold approaching or something else. Logically, It should be the other way around in some cases because of what i previously stated. Only other reason this would make sense is if you are going after an extreme niche of women that doesn’t exist on OLD. Otherwise you have to either be chasing extremely low hanging fruit or paying women because this makes zero sense to me.
 

devilkingx2

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1). I find it hard to believe that approaching and stopping a complete stranger in the middle of the day is easier than starting a somewhat mutual conversation with someone you matched with on an app.
I wouldn't say that stopping a random girl on the street or in the subway is easy. But talking to girls at a mall, in a department store, on a college campus, etc. Is relatively easy compared to other places. (all game is difficult)

2). OLD offers the most neutral setting and playing field than other options. Not everyone likes club environments, not everyone has the time, money, and motivation to be a passport bro in Latin America, and etc. On OLD, I can talk to women on the toilet, at a stoplight, while working out, etc. This is something everyone can do within their own terms.
In theory I agree with you. Maybe that's your experience with OLD, I'm not here to deny anyone's truth.

3). There’s no hot women on OLD? There’s plenty of hot women on OLD, YOU just can’t pull them. Just because YOU can’t do it doesn’t mean nobody can.
I have seen many hot women on Tinder and Bumble. I've never had any luck getting anywhere. On other apps like Hinge it's easier to get matches and chats but the girls are much less attractive.

I've seen tinder experiment videos on YouTube where it's easy to match with those girls if you say your height is 6'3 and use pictures of a male model so that's probably what I'm doing wrong.

Even the two guys I know in real life who reliably get laid online
have six packs, high incomes and one of them is 5'11

4). With all of these factors applied, it makes zero sense how one could struggle on OLD so badly but somehow be a GOD at cold approaching or something else. Logically, It should be the other way around in some cases because of what i previously stated. Only other reason this would make sense is if you are going after an extreme niche of women that doesn’t exist on OLD. Otherwise you have to either be chasing extremely low hanging fruit or paying women because this makes zero sense to me.
I am definitely not claiming to be a god of cold approach lol. And I don't even have enough money to pay women, I can barely afford to pay Manhattan drink prices.
 
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CornbreadFed

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I wouldn't say that stopping a random girl on the street or in the subway is easy. But talking to girls at a mall, in a department store, on a college campus, etc. Is relatively easy compared to other places. (all game is difficult)
The college environment is probably the best environment a male will experience when it comes to gaming.


I have seen many hot women on Tinder and Bumble. I've never had any luck getting anywhere. On other apps like Hinge it's easier to get matches and chats but the girls are much less attractive.
Hinge was the best app for me, but I know all apps aren’t the same in each city. Bumble seems to be the pickiest one for me.


I am definitely not claiming to be a god of cold approach lol. And I don't even have enough money to pay women, I can barely afford to pay Manhattan drink prices.
at least you don’t have to worry about driving and traffic. Down here, unless you find a girl content with an Applebees happy hour date(not a dang chance lol) my dates have been in the downtown yuppie areas with terrible parking. I bet NYC has a gold mine of dating spots.
 

Peaks&Valleys

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However, I haven't approached a girl IRL since 2015. I'm quite concerned about coming across as creepy or inappropriate approaching irl so I avoid it. Any suggestions on getting over this pretty irrational fear?
Indirect appoaches. As in, it just seems like you're making conversation with someone and that someone happens to be her.

Learn the acronym A.S.S. : Always Say Something.

It takes a bit of practice but you instead of just walking right up to someone, you have to position yourself as to where you just happen to be in a position to talk to her. Whether it be in line somewhere, or at the park, grocery store, getting gas, walking down the street. Look for an opportune time to say something. Something, anything. You're not necessarily hitting on them, you're just being social. You could be talking to anyone.
 

CheekyMonkey101

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2). OLD offers the most neutral setting and playing field than other options. Not everyone likes club environments, not everyone has the time, money, and motivation to be a passport bro in Latin America, and etc. On OLD, I can talk to women on the toilet, at a stoplight, while working out, etc. This is something everyone can do within their own terms.
This is why I prefer online. I don't even have to leave the house to arrange a date/hookup now.
 

CheekyMonkey101

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Indirect appoaches. As in, it just seems like you're making conversation with someone and that someone happens to be her.

Learn the acronym A.S.S. : Always Say Something.

It takes a bit of practice but you instead of just walking right up to someone, you have to position yourself as to where you just happen to be in a position to talk to her. Whether it be in line somewhere, or at the park, grocery store, getting gas, walking down the street. Look for an opportune time to say something. Something, anything. You're not necessarily hitting on them, you're just being social. You could be talking to anyone.
Good advice.

On online dating for example I usually end with a question to keep the convo going.

I could apply a similar approach irl.
 

SW15

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I wouldn't say that stopping a random girl on the street or in the subway is easy. But talking to girls at a mall, in a department store, on a college campus, etc. Is relatively easy compared to other places. (all game is difficult)
Outdoor game is very difficult now because of earbuds. In my city, very few streets have enough foot traffic where "street game" is possible. There are some city parks and walking paths with sufficient foot traffic for approaching but I wouldn't call that "street game" though it is close.

Roosh called street game the most difficult venue hands down back in 2012.


I have done enough park and walking path approaches but it's very difficult to get anyone's attention when doing those approaches. Some guys can run spam game outdoors. This is what happens when a daygame newbie does uncalibrated spam game. He approaches women wearing earbuds, women playing on their cell phones, etc. He did manage to get a few phone numbers, ones that likely flaked because he did not arrange dates with specific places/times when collecting their numbers.


I think a college campus is easier as a college student as compared to a mall's corridor, inside a store in a mall, or a bookstore.

Over the years, I have found the grocery store easier for approaching than the mall. Others may have had different experiences.

Agree that all game is difficult.

The college environment is probably the best environment a male will experience when it comes to gaming.
There's some merit to the point that college is a good environment for gaming.

Have you read the college sex life thread? That thread illustrates well that college students gaming through traditional college life are not having a great experience.


There are upsides to college game. No one is married yet and it'd be difficult to find single moms on campus. Even though a lot of women aren't married yet, that doesn't mean that most women on campus are open to new penis at any time. Most college women get into relationships and aren't looking for new penis.

Even with the downsides of college game, I'd rather be a college student and game on campus and in extracurricular activities as compared to post-college typical daygame venues of malls and grocery stores.

I find it hard to believe that approaching and stopping a complete stranger in the middle of the day is easier than starting a somewhat mutual conversation with someone you matched with on an app.
The difficult part is actually getting the matches and then getting someone to respond to your opener with the swipe app's in-app messaging.

Stopping a complete stranger during the day while likely sober is difficult. Most men can't do it. Daygame has always been a niche activity, even when men had higher testosterone levels on average in the 1980s/1990s.

it makes zero sense how one could struggle on OLD so badly but somehow be a GOD at cold approaching or something else.
Someone wouldn't be God-level at approaching if they struggle on swipe apps or with DMing on social media.

It's difficult to get matches or get responses from sliding into DMs on Instagram/Twitter. Also, a lot of dates arranged via swipe app fail, as they are typically the "one date, no sex, no second date" variety. There are a lot of reasons for this. I won't cover them all. One reason is that female abundance from apps raises women's expectations, so they expect "all the feelz" right away. There are guys who report that it takes a better first date performance in the 2010s-present to get a 2nd date as compared to the 1990s-2000s. Another reason is that it is really difficult to determine in-person chemistry when arranging dates from tech-based methods. Some daters are now using FaceTime/video chats before first dates to assess chemistry. If I were using swipe apps, I would not be opposed to doing this but it adds in an extra layer of complexity. If I'm swiping, texting, and video chatting prior to a first date, I might as well be talking to people in real life and arranging dates that way.

Some of real life dating comes down to finding good situations randomly. In real life, it's best that the single women you approach aren't using swipe apps themselves. They'll have less abundance and actually take the date more seriously. Many single women you approach in the real world will be swipe app users too. The most common feedback that a cold approacher gets in the real world is complete disinterest. Most conversations don't last longer than 30-60 seconds, which is not long enough to ask someone on a date, let alone evaluate well enough the odds of a first date leading to a second date.

Arranging dates in real life feels better and feels far more natural than arranging dates using a tech-based method.

Down here, unless you find a girl content with an Applebees happy hour date(not a dang chance lol) my dates have been in the downtown yuppie areas with terrible parking. I bet NYC has a gold mine of dating spots.
I can't imagine that childless single women under 40 in my city would find an Applebee's happy hour date to be acceptable first date. These women might exist, I likely haven't met that type in my city.

Most of the good first date bars in my city are bars in areas with challenging parking. I can identify with what you describe.
 

CornbreadFed

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There are upsides to college game. No one is married yet and it'd be difficult to find single moms on campus. Even though a lot of women aren't married yet, that doesn't mean that most women on campus are open to new penis at any time. Most college women get into relationships and aren't looking for new penis.

Even with the downsides of college game, I'd rather be a college student and game on campus and in extracurricular activities as compared to post-college typical daygame venues of malls and grocery stores.
Yeah the college environment isn’t perfect, but the logistics are exactly perfect for a single man. Unless you are Dan Blizeraian or something, there will never be another time in your life where you are a walking distance from countless hot women.

The difficult part is actually getting the matches and then getting someone to respond to your opener with the swipe app's in-app messaging
This is why you have good pictures and learn the basics of OLD lol. Since your other post is long, I will respond to it in this block. Yes, OLD seems intimidating with all of the women having abundance of options and picky standards, but it is way easier to stand out more than you think.

1). Majority of the profiles on there are trash. Most guys have low effort profiles and send low effort/beta messages to women.

2). Women only go for their preferences. Most women are going only swipe right on their “Type”! I know a girl that only swipes right on guys with man buns. I know a girl that only swipes right on non white men in some majority white suburb lol. There is no such thing as this universal gigachad that 99% of women find attractive that is constantly preached by pill gurus. There are a lot of women that find Micheal B. Jordan unattractive. There are a lot of women that find Tom Brady unattractive. This is why I constantly hammer down ”play to your strengths” because I guarantee you there is a woman that finds you attractive, but you are repulsing her with NPC Pill ideology. You are not competing against every guy on the app, you are competing against a 1% TBH.
 
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