FR - horrendous Hinge date

[Bingo-Player]

Matched this chick on hinge tuesday , what i thought was 24 Y/O HB 7 brunette seemed pretty down to earth in her messages

Couldn't say i was physically crazy for her judging by her photos but she was easy going and suggested we meet

I agreed and said i could do ( today ) for an hour or two ...... i suggested mini golf as it's a relaxed & fun environment

I asked her if she could meet me at the venue as because i live in a city centre i am not currently driving and even if i was it would make zero sense for me to drive pick her up and then drive back to the centre

She didn't outright say she had a problem with this but after meeting her i could tell instantly it probably would have been had we gone any further

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We meet early afternoon , the second i lay eyes on her i know i am in trouble

She rocks up in this makeshift hipster outfit which included a pair of cropped baggy jeans , new balance trainers and a brown striped shirt that looked like it came out of my dads wardrobe

She has her hair up in a scraped back Rat tail pony tail

I am not a female fashion expert but if you are going to meet a guy you want to attract for a first date surely you would at least put something relatively form fitting , put your hair down and maybe show a little bit of cleavage or something........ SHE WAS 24 YEARS OLD

She was a big girl too , not fat but stocky i think she was touching 6ft , i am about 5 11

we were pretty much at each others eye line and this didn't seem to go down well for her

Her body language and demeanour was like nothing i have seen in a female before especially for someone so young , ive encountered socially awkward women in the past but this was different

The only way to describe it was like a 50-60 year old person who had maybe done a couple too many years in a profession they hated ,and was sick to death of the world and everyone in it.

I don't like awkwardness if i can avoid it so i did try to make conversation on multiple levels but she was a very very difficult person to talk too

I got to the crux of what i think was the issue when she told me her sister was a lesbian

I almost asked if she had considered the other side too but figured i would just leave sleeping dogs lay .........

this girl 100% will be licking pu$$y by 30 ......i can't really see what type of man would be able to connect with her

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It was a horrendous experience but of course lessons to be learnt

1) I understand why women are so flaky with meeting now , these swipe app dates can get very awkward if you don't click with the person in real life

2) In future i think i am going to insist on a FaceTime before meeting anyone from online , i did call this chick and spoke to her on the phone but it just isn't enough you have to see what their vibe is like and if it matches yours

3) NOBODY looks like they do online ..... had i been able to see this girls fashion choices i would have probably been able to determine she wasn't for me before meeting her (instagram is useful )

4) there are some very wired people out there with a lot of emotional issues


WE MOVE ON

 

[Stanley]

100% do a call or facetime first.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Sounds like you your dry spell goggles take over. Usually when I had failed cat fish dates like these on OLD, I hoped and prayed ”she was just bad at taking pictures” or “maybe she looks better in person”….NAHHH lol

 

[EyeBRollin]

I asked her if she could meet me at the venue as because i live in a city centre i am not currently driving and even if i was it would make zero sense for me to drive pick her up and then drive back to the centre

Mistake.

For the men with cars, always offer to pick the girl up. It is a significant tactical advantage to know where she lives, who she lives with, and your probability of getting inside for a bang when you take her back after the date.

 

[SW15]

For the men with cars, always offer to pick the girl up. It is a significant tactical advantage to know where she lives, who she lives with, and your probability of getting inside for a bang when you take her back after the date.

It is quite difficult to make this offer on a date arranged from a tech-based method, such as a swipe app or social media DM. Almost no women would accept that offer.

On an in-person stranger approach, not too many women would accept either.

If the date is social circle arranged, that's the best chance of getting that offer accepted.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It is quite difficult to make this offer on a date arranged from a tech-based method, such as a swipe app or social media DM. Almost no women would accept that offer.

She doesn’t have to accept the offer, your job is to put it out there. If not for the first date, the expectation is established you will do it for the second date. Most girls in my experience decline the offer on date one but accept on date two. If she declines past that, you know there are some red flags.

Also, her declining to be picked up is not a rejection of the date. If she is interested, she will counter that she can just meet you at the venue.

 

[BadBoy89]

I am not a female fashion expert but if you are going to meet a guy you want to attract for a first date surely you would at least put something relatively form fitting , put your hair down and maybe show a little bit of cleavage or something........ SHE WAS 24 YEARS OLD

She probably wasn’t having a good day and wasn’t in the mood .

She was a big girl too , not fat but stocky i think she was touching 6ft , i am about 5 11

we were pretty much at each others eye line and this didn't seem to go down well for her

I think the issue started from here. She wanted someone taller than her.

I don't like awkwardness if i can avoid it so i did try to make conversation on multiple levels but she was a very very difficult person to talk too

I got to the crux of what i think was the issue when she told me her sister was a lesbian

Don’t think that has anything to do with it. Again she was probably having a bad day, didn’t want to be there but didn’t want to reschedule.

 

[eli77]

Welcome to the club have you tried just social media

 

[characternote]

david brent blind date - Google Search

www.google.com

 

[Bingo-Player]

Mistake.

For the men with cars, always offer to pick the girl up. It is a significant tactical advantage to know where she lives, who she lives with, and your probability of getting inside for a bang when you take her back after the date.

In the UK metropolitan citys are not built for cars , very few people living in these areas will have one and given the vast majority of amenities and venues are within these city centres there is very little need for one

I can walk / cycle or take a bus to anywhere i need to be within 10-15 mins

I agree there is an advantage of knowing where she lives and also taking her back to her place for the potential sex but when you are meeting a stranger from OLD there is very little chance of this happening anyway

In my case it just wasn't logical

 

[Bingo-Player]

She probably wasn’t having a good day and wasn’t in the mood .


I think the issue started from here. She wanted someone taller than her.



Don’t think that has anything to do with it. Again she was probably having a bad day, didn’t want to be there but didn’t want to reschedule.

I couldn't really care less what type of day she was having , in my world if you want to go on a date you make dam sure you put the best version of yourself out there

I'm not really the kind of guy who's into supplicating or mitigating women and their raft of expectations or emotional problems , i never get very attached i will just move on and quickly

My height was clear on my profile as was hers give or take a couple of CM there's not much i can do about it like i said she was a girl that was solidly built

She was no oil painting and given her masculine fashion choices and body language i can't really see that many men queuing around the block for her

Her sister being a lesbian was a significant point because until then i couldn't really figure her vibe out , she had told me she went on lots of dates but was "very single" which again made little sense

Why wasn't she connecting with anyone !?!

after i put all the pieces together it made sense she was in the closet and was projecting her sexual/ emotional frustration onto random men who would never be able to offer her what she wanted which i believe was to be accepted

 

[Bingo-Player]

Sounds like you your dry spell goggles take over. Usually when I had failed cat fish dates like these on OLD, I hoped and prayed ”she was just bad at taking pictures” or “maybe she looks better in person”….NAHHH lol

Yes quite likely i get bored of OLD pretty quickly as ghosting and flaking is prolific so when a chick is up for a date i will usually oblige as ultimately i am just down to get laid

I have learn't in the last 12 months though that if a girl on OLD is up for a date quickly , there is usually very very good reason

She either has a high churn rate from unrealistic expectations , her IRL dating pools aren't working for whatever reason (red flag) or she has an attitude problem that is easier to disguise via an online profile

 

[Murk]

I got catfished a few weeks back, I did a Snapchat call w/ her but she didn’t show me her whole body and was using angles so face didn’t look fat, sadly for me she came straight to my house so I smashed her. Felt no way about ghosting her after though. I felt too disgusted to post about it here.

The Ukranian I’m seeing reverse catfished me, she doesn’t wear makeup so I wasn’t expecting much from the pics but she has a natural youthful beauty that looks much better in person.

My advice is to video call and ask to see their whole body. If they get offended or shy they are catfishing hard and not worth the meet. I wanna see head to toe with a twirl.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

I'm not sure why, but girls on Hinge seemed to be either ridiculously picky or deluded. I never really had this issue on other apps, but Hinge just seemed to attract these type of women for me.

It might just be my location, though.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Mistake.

For the men with cars, always offer to pick the girl up. It is a significant tactical advantage to know where she lives, who she lives with, and your probability of getting inside for a bang when you take her back after the date.

Prior to a first date most women aren't letting you know where they live unless they are extremely naive about OLD and all the weirdos lurking there.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Prior to a first date most women aren't letting you know where they live unless they are extremely naive about OLD and all the weirdos lurking there.

Process > Short term results. I made a point to offer anyway.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I'm not sure why, but girls on Hinge seemed to be either ridiculously picky or deluded. I never really had this issue on other apps, but Hinge just seemed to attract these type of women for me.

It might just be my location, though.

Bumble and Hinge definitely seem to have their stall set out for these type of delusional women that generally struggle for male attention in the real world

Women which are very career driven and very masculine

( the girl in my OP was extremely masculine from the way she dressed to the way she spoke )

Both of these traits can be hidden well in hinge and bumble profiles thats why they like them

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Bumble and Hinge definitely seem to have their stall set out for these type of delusional women that generally struggle for male attention in the real world

Women which are very career driven and very masculine

( the girl in my OP was extremely masculine from the way she dressed to the way she spoke )

Both of these traits can be hidden well in hinge and bumble profiles thats why they like them

You're probably right.

A lot of the time with online dating I'm often talking to women I would never bother with irl. Although women have the power on apps.

Often it comes back to haunt them at least.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

When I was regularily online dating, I ALWAYS asked for additional pics. Also, first meeting was for a "quick drink": either coffee or an alcoholic beverage. Nothing worse than getting stuck with someone for a few hours, just being polite and going through the motions, full well knowing you're not going to be pursuing anything further with her.

Rarely, would I commit to something longer than a "quick drink" before actually meeting her in person. Online Dating 101.