Caring 'too' much about your wellbeing

[Stanley]

In years past I used to do some pretty reckless life threatening stuff when I was a bit more ‘devil may care’. During that time I noticed in particular that the girls that were interested in me showed a profound level of concern not too dissimilar to a mother. It was an indicator of interest in many cases (some not), but I began to notice a trend moving forward. When injured, when sick, when down in the dumps or whatever else girls that had a genuine interest would demonstrate a level of care that moved beyond the platonic.

I once did a ‘stunt’ of sorts and received some backlash from a girl I was into and she outright said “she cared for my well being” and was pissed off that I had done something so stupid. Ended up asking her out that night and we dated thereafter. Since then I’ve always been aware of when a girl shows a little ‘too’ much care and concern.

I was reminded of this today when I mentioned to a coworker (who attempted to branch swing to me months ago who I then friend zoned) how I recently hurt myself weight training and her response came out of left field and she got genuinely pissed at me. She lectured me about being reckless and yada yada with her voice raised while at work. She got all bothered over it and when I asked her why she cared so much she turned bright red from embarrassment and scampered away dismissively saying “it's nothing”.

TLDR:
Have you ever noticed how some women care deeply about your well being and sometimes get angry when you jeopardize it?

I find this to be something that bodes well as it indicates a genuine concern for you as a person beyond the surface level or platonic. When I see it in relationships it normally showcases just how much the woman wants to see you be well.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Do you think women 50 years ago would have shown the same level of concern for the same actions undertaken?

How old are these girls?

 

[The Duke]

I dated a girl that told me I lived my life too dangerously because I raced cars and motorcycles. She told me I needed to give up one. Lol. I didn't see her much after that conversation. And I'm still going.

My current gf gets angry and tells me how stupid I am when I tell her I went 160mph down the highway on my motorcycle. Speed has always put a smile on my face and takes me to my happy place. I am fully aware of the consequences and accept them. I've came up on the losing end of my decisions several times. What she doesn't get is it's who I am. It's what fuels me. If I can't do what I love no matter how dangerous then I can't be all the great things she does like about me.

I'm going to do me, it's what attracted them to me in the first place. They can get butthurt all they want. Women biatch no matter what. ;-)

I realize they care, but it's also selfish to try and tell someone they can't do certain things.

 

[The Duke]

Do you think women 50 years ago would have shown the same level of concern for the same actions undertaken?

How old are these girls?

Yes, My grandma always scolded my grandpa for doing stupid and crazy things that could cause pain and injury. He was in his 70s still doing fun schitt, I come by it honestly! He was a wild man.

 

[Stanley]

Do you think women 50 years ago would have shown the same level of concern for the same actions undertaken?

How old are these girls?

I would imagine women (and men) of 50 years ago would be even more concerned given how much western society has changed in the past several decades. I don't think age has anything to do with it at all. I've seen this amongst all ages, whether it be the young boyfriend who drinks too much and the girl admonishes him. Or the old married couple getting on each other about taking care of themselves. In relationships expressing concern over one's well being only speaks volumes to how much that person cares for you and wants what's best for you.

 

[Canadian_Man]

Adjacently related.

Early on during one of my LTRs, we were in a fight of some sort, she was angry about something, and she went out with some (women) friends for the evening.

My grandmother passed away that evening, when she heard that she came home shortly thereafter, dropped the argument (never heard anything of it again), and initiated sex.

The following week or two she did so many times.

A different form of caring, trying to comfort me, help me feel better.

 

[Stanley]

Adjacently related.

Early on during one of my LTRs, we were in a fight of some sort, she was angry about something, and she went out with some (women) friends for the evening.

My grandmother passed away that evening, when she heard that she came home shortly thereafter, dropped the argument (never heard anything of it again), and initiated sex.

The following week or two she did so many times.

A different form of caring, trying to comfort me, help me feel better.

That's nice man. feels good when a girl goes out of their way to make you feel better and puts aside the conflict.

 

[Alvafe]

simple really its always about then, don't matter if it make you happy or its good for you, its bad for then, same with my mom complaining about me going to the gim and getting muscles, because she "don't like it", I just to rub some salt, I just say if you don't like it, its exactly what I will keep doing it, in the end just remember this do things you feel like and don't change because someone else told you so, the moment you do its the moment you lose, and she will respect you less for it, woman are crazy, they are only happy when you "bust they chops" in someway, be it by teasing or just being annoying to her sometimes

 

[RazorRambo24]

Yep and women love playing damsel in distress because they think men operate the same way.. Girls take advantage of this tactic so often-- but it doesnt work with real men since we dont care about your emotional issues and problems..

Simps eat that sh.it up tho

 

[Stanley]

Yep and women love playing damsel in distress because they think men operate the same way.. Girls take advantage of this tactic so often-- but it doesnt work with real men since we dont care about your emotional issues and problems..

Simps eat that sh.it up tho

Captain save hoes live off of it. They see a girl who seems accessible due to her brokenness and he seeks to 'fix' her in turn. Never ends well for him.

A lot of anxious, insecure and bpd girls used to come on to me hard. When I see the signs now I withhold any form of investment in them and remain unphased and disconnected. Those that are empathetic need to know how to shut the valve off, less they want to be used by energy suckers.

 

[BorisBeef]

In years past I used to do some pretty reckless life threatening stuff when I was a bit more ‘devil may care’. During that time I noticed in particular that the girls that were interested in me showed a profound level of concern not too dissimilar to a mother. It was an indicator of interest in many cases (some not), but I began to notice a trend moving forward. When injured, when sick, when down in the dumps or whatever else girls that had a genuine interest would demonstrate a level of care that moved beyond the platonic.

I once did a ‘stunt’ of sorts and received some backlash from a girl I was into and she outright said “she cared for my well being” and was pissed off that I had done something so stupid. Ended up asking her out that night and we dated thereafter. Since then I’ve always been aware of when a girl shows a little ‘too’ much care and concern.

I was reminded of this today when I mentioned to a coworker (who attempted to branch swing to me months ago who I then friend zoned) how I recently hurt myself weight training and her response came out of left field and she got genuinely pissed at me. She lectured me about being reckless and yada yada with her voice raised while at work. She got all bothered over it and when I asked her why she cared so much she turned bright red from embarrassment and scampered away dismissively saying “it's nothing”.

TLDR:
Have you ever noticed how some women care deeply about your well being and sometimes get angry when you jeopardize it?

I find this to be something that bodes well as it indicates a genuine concern for you as a person beyond the surface level or platonic. When I see it in relationships it normally showcases just how much the woman wants to see you be well.

Something similar happened to me with 2 girls.
But at that time I was going through a stage of very severe drug addiction.
I was always joking with I hadn't put food in my mouth for weeks.
These girls were always asking me if I was eating well, one even offered to cook for me,
On one occasion when we saw each other, she brought me a tray of fruit that she cut herself, it was very funny.
I'm sure my appearance would have been that of a bum, hahaha.
I suppose it was a maternal instinct?

 

[Stanley]

Something similar happened to me with 2 girls.
But at that time I was going through a stage of very severe drug addiction.
I was always joking with I hadn't put food in my mouth for weeks.
These girls were always asking me if I was eating well, one even offered to cook for me,
On one occasion when we saw each other, she brought me a tray of fruit that she cut herself, it was very funny.
I'm sure my appearance would have been that of a bum, hahaha.
I suppose it was a maternal instinct?

Probably on some level it was.

 

[Ricky]

My brother was telling me a long time ago that alot of nurses at his hospital date alot of losers. Guys that can’t keep a job, have drug or alcohol issues or other things. He always said it was the nurturing instinct of some of them.

 

[SW15]

My brother was telling me a long time ago that alot of nurses at his hospital date alot of losers. Guys that can’t keep a job, have drug or alcohol issues or other things. He always said it was the nurturing instinct of some of them.

Back in the days when the GI Generation (1910s to mid-1920s births), Silent Generation (late 1920s-1945 births), and Baby Boomers (1946-1964 births) were dating and forming relationships, dating a nurse was considered a good thing. Nurses were considered to have feminine qualities that would bode well for successful longer term relationships. Even for Gen X men, having an LTR with a nurse wasn't a bad choice.

Millennial nurses haven't lived up to the feminine standards of their predecessors. While nurses are still a better choice than women in higher powered careers (doctors, dentists, lawyers, business managers, etc), there have been more reports on the internet of flaws when dating them.

One of my cousins was married to a nurse. This is a nurse from the Millennial generation. The marriage failed. She had an affair with some deadbeat and later got into an extended relationship with him.

TLDR:
Have you ever noticed how some women care deeply about your well being and sometimes get angry when you jeopardize it?

This is not a bad thing at all. It's more of a good thing. Think about all the men outside of the Top 20% that are constantly sent to the reject pile. These are men who would like to have some woman in their life who would care deeply about their well being instead of being constantly ignored by women.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

In years past I used to do some pretty reckless life threatening stuff when I was a bit more ‘devil may care’. During that time I noticed in particular that the girls that were interested in me showed a profound level of concern not too dissimilar to a mother. It was an indicator of interest in many cases (some not), but I began to notice a trend moving forward. When injured, when sick, when down in the dumps or whatever else girls that had a genuine interest would demonstrate a level of care that moved beyond the platonic.

I once did a ‘stunt’ of sorts and received some backlash from a girl I was into and she outright said “she cared for my well being” and was pissed off that I had done something so stupid. Ended up asking her out that night and we dated thereafter. Since then I’ve always been aware of when a girl shows a little ‘too’ much care and concern.

I was reminded of this today when I mentioned to a coworker (who attempted to branch swing to me months ago who I then friend zoned) how I recently hurt myself weight training and her response came out of left field and she got genuinely pissed at me. She lectured me about being reckless and yada yada with her voice raised while at work. She got all bothered over it and when I asked her why she cared so much she turned bright red from embarrassment and scampered away dismissively saying “it's nothing”.

TLDR:
Have you ever noticed how some women care deeply about your well being and sometimes get angry when you jeopardize it?

I find this to be something that bodes well as it indicates a genuine concern for you as a person beyond the surface level or platonic. When I see it in relationships it normally showcases just how much the woman wants to see you be well.

Women are generally more risk-averse than men (less T). Girls I've been dating or in relationships with have often expressed concern for some 'risky' behavior I have done. I do think it means they care.

 

[LTG71]

In years past I used to do some pretty reckless life threatening stuff when I was a bit more ‘devil may care’. During that time I noticed in particular that the girls that were interested in me showed a profound level of concern not too dissimilar to a mother. It was an indicator of interest in many cases (some not), but I began to notice a trend moving forward. When injured, when sick, when down in the dumps or whatever else girls that had a genuine interest would demonstrate a level of care that moved beyond the platonic.

I once did a ‘stunt’ of sorts and received some backlash from a girl I was into and she outright said “she cared for my well being” and was pissed off that I had done something so stupid. Ended up asking her out that night and we dated thereafter. Since then I’ve always been aware of when a girl shows a little ‘too’ much care and concern.

I was reminded of this today when I mentioned to a coworker (who attempted to branch swing to me months ago who I then friend zoned) how I recently hurt myself weight training and her response came out of left field and she got genuinely pissed at me. She lectured me about being reckless and yada yada with her voice raised while at work. She got all bothered over it and when I asked her why she cared so much she turned bright red from embarrassment and scampered away dismissively saying “it's nothing”.

TLDR:
Have you ever noticed how some women care deeply about your well being and sometimes get angry when you jeopardize it?

I find this to be something that bodes well as it indicates a genuine concern for you as a person beyond the surface level or platonic. When I see it in relationships it normally showcases just how much the woman wants to see you be well.

I’ve seen this in two different scenarios. Women with strong maternal instincts and those without. I see them as givers or takers. The later is more selfish and worries what she will lose if something happens to you. The other has genuine concern for your well being.

There were two women at work that used to ”keep tabs“ on a few of us men. Always cordial and concerned for our health, mental and physical. Always nurturing, giving random hugs and practically setting up routine doctor visits for you if they could. These two women both had strong and healthy family backgrounds. A key green flag that men should try to find. They always wanted to know how you were doing and showed genuine interest when engaging with them.

The majority don’t really show this level of concern, more that they miss you because you were not there to provide them with something. My platonic friend used to get jealous that one of these woman would give me hugs without hesitation. She once asked if I ”loved“ the other woman more since she was more affectionate. Well, it was nicer to make eye contact from across the cafe and her walk towards me with arms raised ready for a hug. I’ll take that over a high-five any day. I’m 100 times more nurturing than this platonic friend.

This is a good sign that the woman is feminine, empathetic and genuinely has interest. And it’s not that we are looking for someone to be our “mother”. It’s the fact that she displays feminine traits. At the same time, you need to do you and not stop doing the things you love because she is afraid. Women are afraid of a lot of things. Women are also attracted to those “dangerous“ things you do. The day you sell the motorcycle for her will be the day you change and she will become bored with you, lol. You lost the edge that you used to have.

 

[Stanley]

This is a good sign that the woman is feminine, empathetic and genuinely has interest. And it’s not that we are looking for someone to be our “mother”. It’s the fact that she displays feminine traits. At the same time, you need to do you and not stop doing the things you love because she is afraid. Women are afraid of a lot of things. Women are also attracted to those “dangerous“ things you do. The day you sell the motorcycle for her will be the day you change and she will become bored with you, lol. You lost the edge that you used to have.

I agree. There is realm where it is purely platonic and then there is that step forward. I've known women who are just in general exceptionally caring and they tend to be the 'mother' of their social circle. But as you mention the givers as you label them tend have a good background and are feminine. The girl I dated who I mentioned in my initial post turned out to be a nut, but her best qualities were that of nurturing woman and she was rather touchy feely.

I'm a fairly cold and an aloof person and I think these kind of girls are drawn to that on some level because it allows them to be warm. This same girl from years past did manage to mellow me out and guess what? She lost interest due to that and other factors. I think the nurturing qualities of women are great, but if you lose your focus and your mettle you can quickly slip into codependency. That and if you stop living a bit faster they won't have much to do with you in that same regard.

Regardless I think any person who cares for you beyond the surface level is a person generally worth keeping around.

 

[Stanley]

My brother was telling me a long time ago that alot of nurses at his hospital date alot of losers. Guys that can’t keep a job, have drug or alcohol issues or other things. He always said it was the nurturing instinct of some of them.

Most my family is in the medical world and many of my friends as well. I'm tight with a lot nurses and PA's of both sexes and it seems they are eternally in the limbo of relationships. Constantly in and out and I have seen young female nurses date some more 'risk inclined' men.

 

[Bokanovsky]

It’s no different than men instinctively wanting to “protect” attractive girls (while not caring about what happens to fat/ugly ones). Besides family, people only “care” about those they find attractive. So yes, if a girl appears to show concern for your well-being, it’s most likely an IOI.

 

[Stanley]

It’s no different than men instinctively wanting to “protect” attractive girls (while not caring about what happens to fat/ugly ones). Besides family, people only “care” about those they find attractive. So yes, if a girl appears to show concern for your well-being, it’s most likely an IOI.

I would imagine the girl being more attractive may influence a man's willingness to protect, but I would hope a man would step up to plate defending those who are in need regardless of their background or looks. Perhaps that is too idealistic of an outlook to have though