Just got a PM on something that needs to be said....

[RangerMIke]

I understand what a aggravating mess it is dating women... Trust me I get it, been doing this for decades. Now you can take this advice or leave it but it does absolutely no good to call out chicks on the bad/disrespectful behavior. I know it might make you feel better doing this but it is a pointless waste of time.

The reason? Chances are very good that she already knows her behavior is unacceptable and that you don't like it. Either that, or she is nuts. When you call them out on this the only thing she will think is that you are a bvtt hurt little b1tch... she will immediately start thinking about all the little things she does not like about you.... she will perceive your 'talk' as an attempt to manipulate her, it is a POINTLESS waste of time, and only serves to confirm in her mind that her assumptions about you are correct.

The only way to deal with a chick that has done something disrespectful is to walk the fvck away while you smile... You are done with her... PERIOD... don't lose your cool or try to get her to change her behavior. If she likes you she will come back... if she does she might start off by asking "What is wrong?" DO NOT FALL FOR THIS... she is trying to start an argument that you CAN NOT win. Just smile and say, "Come on, you are not stupid, I'm pretty sure you know what happened but you tell me what you think this is." If anything comes out of her mouth other than the correct answer, followed by an apology you are done. If she she hits the nail on the head, and apologizes... then you have something to work with.

But understand THIS FACT ABOUT WOMEN, she doesn't give a rat's @ss how you feel... if you start to complain about her behavior you are only telling her what she already knows and totally understands how her behavior might be effecting your attitude.... understand she does not care. What you say is not going to make her fell bad... what you say is not going to get her to change her behavior... she has to self-correct. If she is clueless that her actions are inappropriate, then you have a narcissist, which is not something you should be willing to put up with.

Smile and walk away.

 

[tightgrp]

Smile and walk away.

Right on brother. The only way to effect change in others is to change yourself. I don't know that smiling is always appropriate but certainly a positive, self assured demeanor.

 

[EyeBRollin]

100%. This post is gold. Well done, OP.

 

[Stanley]

Yup, silence and distance and show you disapprove of the behavior with your actions.

I have told women in the past their behavior was garbage, but it was at the point where I didn't give rats a** about them or their response. It was never in an attempt to gain the upper hand or validate my ego. If you fall prey to an argumentative trap then you need to defuse, use the socratic approach or in most cases just walk away unphased. She'll be back if she gave s*** about you

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Agreed. I think calling women out on their behavior is acceptable if your plan is to simply let her know you won't tolerate it and genuinely smile and walk away.

If you call women out on their behavior in the hope to understand their reasoning, vent out, or worse intellectually discuss it with the hope of "fixing it" you are not only wasting your time but burying yourself even deeper in the hole.

PS: I am still trying to understand most guys' desire to whine and complain about the state of modern intergender dating. Complaining has never been in men's nature, why has this mentality been rising lately?

 

[RangerMIke]

Agreed. I think calling women out on their behavior is acceptable if your plan is to simply let her know you won't tolerate it and genuinely smile and walk away.

Has anyone ever had a woman, who is upset and you ask her "What's wrong?" She then comes back and says something like "Well, if you don't know, I won't tell you." You see... most men REALLY don't know what is wrong... I mean we might have a decent idea, but generally we are not that intuitive.

The reason she says this is because women REALLY DO KNOW, when you are upset... she has a damned good idea what is wrong, they are very intuitive. And they are confused that you the man isn't picking up on this, meaning you don't care.

This is a huge gender difference that most men just don't get. I have had many disagreements with women where she will say something like "Sure, go to the game with your friends, I'll be fine." This is where reading female body language becomes a key skill... she will tell you with the tone of her voice and body language what she REALLY means. Go ahead and do what you want, but understand if you are trying to make a relationship work... you will owe some reciprocity.

If you are done, and it makes you feel better getting it off your chest, sure... tell her. But understand, there is a very good chance she already knows, but @Modern Man Advice is correct thinking you can turn sh1t around by having the 'talk' is a complete waste of time because it will not work.

 

[Glassguy]

@RangerMIke
Good post.
Women are disrespectful for several reasons and it's only important in how you behave in response to it. And calling them out on it will never end well. Just ignore and move on......without her.

1. It's their entitled, spoiled personality. If you see this, you should RUN. She will never be a loving, caring and submissive woman to you.

2. She doesn't see your worth as easily repaceable. She doesn't respect you or value you. Without respect there cannot be love and trust. No reason to waste time on a woman like this. She is never going to submit to you or invest in you. And honestly, why would you want to be with someone who didn't treat you with respect as long as you treat her with respect?

Either scenario is instant dismissal. Men should have no place for a woman like this if he has high standards for himself and the people he allows himself to get close to.

Happy Hunting

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Gentlemen, I hate to break it to you but women, certainly beautiful women, learn the game COLD very early on. We have to. This is order for us to be able to sort through all the freaking attention we get and we will only give genuine attention to a man we have genuine interest in.

Now. Sometimes we had a bad day. Sometimes we are menstrally moody (yes goddammit that IS a thing), sometimes we are bitches or just bitchy.

But we know. We are not stupid. And as @RangerMIke correctly points out we are watching very eagled eyed how you respond. And if we were in the wrong, and unprovoked, and just being unreasonable for some reason and we actually DO like you/love you? We will cop to it. We will.

I AM the game. I know how whatever I am doing is going to play out often (if I am not clouded by PMS hormones) precisely before I say or do a dam thing. But because of nature we women are capricious to some degree or another. It's true, we ALL are. Now finding one who will admit to that? Tough sell. I am only relatively recently willing to own it and I'm in my 50s for God's sake.

How to deal with this REALITY? Like water off a duck's back. If you feel you need to apply some Silence and Distance, then do that. If you feel you need to walk away, then do that. It gets a little more complicated in a LTR or marriage but not really. I know how my guy is going to react if I get wound up. He's like "WhatEv," which annoys me in the short term, but he doesn't engage. He's annoyingly stoic. And if I persist? He will vacate the premises for a bit.

And if we have an actual issue we need to discuss? Then we discuss it rationally when both people are in a rational place. Simple. Not always easy, but simple.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Agreed. I think calling women out on their behavior is acceptable if your plan is to simply let her know you won't tolerate it and genuinely smile and walk away.

If you call women out on their behavior in the hope to understand their reasoning, vent out, or worse intellectually discuss it with the hope of "fixing it" you are not only wasting your time but burying yourself even deeper in the hole.

PS: I am still trying to understand most guys' desire to whine and complain about the state of modern intergender dating. Complaining has never been in men's nature, why has this mentality been rising lately?

Great post until the P.S. It's because we're obviously being subverted by nefarious entities who want to enslave/kill us. Gender relations is, again, merely one of many manifestations.

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn may want to have a word with you. Although the word "modern" may imply the 21st century and not the 20th (which you seem to be stuck in), there are many important lessons to be learned from the 20th.

 

[jaymbrs]

Being stoic or walking away has created bigger problems. Things would just continue to escalate if I didn’t put the problem to bed. Women cause some issues so they can stupidly see their guy actually cares. Exactly like a kid would when he/she gets in trouble at school for attention.

 

[Hal9000]

I agree. Let them die old and alone, surrounded by cats. Life is too short to try changing a grown woman who acts like a twelve year old.

 

[BadBoy89]

I understand what a aggravating mess it is dating women... Trust me I get it, been doing this for decades. Now you can take this advice or leave it but it does absolutely no good to call out chicks on the bad/disrespectful behavior. I know it might make you feel better doing this but it is a pointless waste of time.

The reason? Chances are very good that she already knows her behavior is unacceptable and that you don't like it. Either that, or she is nuts. When you call them out on this the only thing she will think is that you are a bvtt hurt little b1tch... she will immediately start thinking about all the little things she does not like about you....

OK fair point.

On the other hand, if a man does not call a woman out on her disrespectful behaviour, she will think this man is an freaking idiot who doesn't know his left hand from his right. Since he doesn’t understand when he is being insulted, or social norms and conventions, she will insult him some more.

You call her out on it, she thinks “wow, this guy is quick and sharp, I cannot mess with him in anyway.”

Personally, I won’t stand 1% of disrespect. I will make girls cry if I have to.

To each his own.

 

[member160292]

Advice from the old lady:

Gentlemen, I hate to break it to you but women, certainly beautiful women, learn the game COLD very early on. We have to. This is order for us to be able to sort through all the freaking attention we get and we will only give genuine attention to a man we have genuine interest in.

Now. Sometimes we had a bad day. Sometimes we are menstrally moody (yes goddammit that IS a thing), sometimes we are bitches or just bitchy.

But we know. We are not stupid. And as @RangerMIke correctly points out we are watching very eagled eyed how you respond. And if we were in the wrong, and unprovoked, and just being unreasonable for some reason and we actually DO like you/love you? We will cop to it. We will.

I AM the game. I know how whatever I am doing is going to play out often (if I am not clouded by PMS hormones) precisely before I say or do a dam thing. But because of nature we women are capricious to some degree or another. It's true, we ALL are. Now finding one who will admit to that? Tough sell. I am only relatively recently willing to own it and I'm in my 50s for God's sake.

How to deal with this REALITY? Like water off a duck's back. If you feel you need to apply some Silence and Distance, then do that. If you feel you need to walk away, then do that. It gets a little more complicated in a LTR or marriage but not really. I know how my guy is going to react if I get wound up. He's like "WhatEv," which annoys me in the short term, but he doesn't engage. He's annoyingly stoic. And if I persist? He will vacate the premises for a bit.

And if we have an actual issue we need to discuss? Then we discuss it rationally when both people are in a rational place. Simple. Not always easy, but simple.

The main thing is to have that discussion. Sometimes you need to put your big boy pants after silence and distance. It’s a give and take, subliminally let her know what went wrong and address it

 

[The Duke]

Multiple times in my life I have left 3 different women I cared about on the side of the road, at the lake, or at a restaurant.

I did so because they wouldn't shut up and stop acting like a biatch after multiple warnings. I tried to have a rational conversation about the issue at hand but they weren't having it.

Demonstrating to them that I had big enough balls to walk away for good showed them who wore the pants and sent the message that I wasn't fuhking around. It also showed I cared less about the relationship than they did.

Each one of these girls had more respect for me afterwards.

They can either act right or hit the road. Makes no difference to me. There are plenty of women out there, and new pu$$y is always fun.

Never care more than they do, it upsets the balance and power. I can't explain exactly why, but its got something to do with the same reasons women like rough sex, and a man that leads.

 

[Stuffnu]

Yes, my personal awakening years ago.
An emotional woman, you remain unemotional.
She falls “off the rails”, you remain on it.
She disrespects, you self-respect and so forth...

Good post…

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I understand what a aggravating mess it is dating women... Trust me I get it, been doing this for decades. Now you can take this advice or leave it but it does absolutely no good to call out chicks on the bad/disrespectful behavior. I know it might make you feel better doing this but it is a pointless waste of time.

First off..

1. It depends on what the behavior is.

All "bad" behavior aint created equal and it should be more of a case by case basis.

2. Even with that being said, most guys are living in scarcity (when it comes to women). They do not have rotations, so they accept the disrespect because they are afraid to lose the one or two women that they have.

Once you level up and get a steady rotation (4 or more women), you care less if you have to cut one loose...because in comes another one.

Keep the rotation steady.

The reason? Chances are very good that she already knows her behavior is unacceptable and that you don't like it. Either that, or she is nuts. When you call them out on this the only thing she will think is that you are a bvtt hurt little b1tch... she will immediately start thinking about all the little things she does not like about you.... she will perceive your 'talk' as an attempt to manipulate her, it is a POINTLESS waste of time, and only serves to confirm in her mind that her assumptions about you are correct.

The only way to deal with a chick that has done something disrespectful is to walk the fvck away while you smile... You are done with her... PERIOD... don't lose your cool or try to get her to change her behavior. If she likes you she will come back... if she does she might start off by asking "What is wrong?" DO NOT FALL FOR THIS... she is trying to start an argument that you CAN NOT win. Just smile and say, "Come on, you are not stupid, I'm pretty sure you know what happened but you tell me what you think this is." If anything comes out of her mouth other than the correct answer, followed by an apology you are done. If she she hits the nail on the head, and apologizes... then you have something to work with.

But understand THIS FACT ABOUT WOMEN, she doesn't give a rat's @ss how you feel... if you start to complain about her behavior you are only telling her what she already knows and totally understands how her behavior might be effecting your attitude.... understand she does not care. What you say is not going to make her fell bad... what you say is not going to get her to change her behavior... she has to self-correct. If she is clueless that her actions are inappropriate, then you have a narcissist, which is not something you should be willing to put up with.

Smile and walk away.

LOL!!!

No, you smile and walk away after you go Mode One and she declines.

That, is when you smile and walk away.

Because once she rejects you, you will never get to the point of experiencing any of her "unacceptable behavior".

 

[RangerMIke]

First off..
No, you smile and walk away after you go Mode One and she declines.

What is "Mode 1'. I can't keep up with all the PUA bull c@rp terms for sh1t we have know for decades.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I treat women like melons in the supermarket. You can’t change them, so just pick good ones

 

[RangerMIke]

On the other hand, if a man does not call a woman out on her disrespectful behaviour, she will think this man is an freaking idiot who doesn't know his left hand from his right. Since he doesn’t understand when he is being insulted, or social norms and conventions, she will insult him some more.

You call her out on it, she thinks “wow, this guy is quick and sharp, I cannot mess with him in anyway.”

Personally, I won’t stand 1% of disrespect. I will make girls cry if I have to.

To each his own.

Like I said, if calling her out makes you feel better go ahead and do it. But understand when you do this really all you are doing is soothing your own ego.

Your ego is good because it is that part of your soul that drives you to be successful. It's your ego that talks to you when you are on the pitcher's mound in the 8th inning with a tired arm... finding that last bit of strength to get that ball over the plate to get that strikeout.... it is also that ego that keeps you on the mound knowing your fastball is sh1t, you don't have any breaks on your pitches and tosses a meatball pitch that leaves the park faster that an hot chick who is done with you.

Your ego is your friend: your ego is your enemy. What men need to do is learn the difference between courage and foolhardiness, because success is on the margins.

When the coach comes on the mount to lift you for a relief pitcher, trying to tell him you do not appreciate his 'disrespectful' behavior is stupid. Why? BECAUSE he knows you don't appreciate it. Same is true for women... trust me... she knows... you do not have to tell her. Just walk of the mound, head for the showers, and start thinking about the next game. Walking away is the first step in controlling your ego.

 

[Von]

I understand what a aggravating mess it is dating women... Trust me I get it, been doing this for decades. Now you can take this advice or leave it but it does absolutely no good to call out chicks on the bad/disrespectful behavior. I know it might make you feel better doing this but it is a pointless waste of time.

The reason? Chances are very good that she already knows her behavior is unacceptable and that you don't like it. Either that, or she is nuts. When you call them out on this the only thing she will think is that you are a bvtt hurt little b1tch... she will immediately start thinking about all the little things she does not like about you.... she will perceive your 'talk' as an attempt to manipulate her, it is a POINTLESS waste of time, and only serves to confirm in her mind that her assumptions about you are correct.

The only way to deal with a chick that has done something disrespectful is to walk the fvck away while you smile... You are done with her... PERIOD... don't lose your cool or try to get her to change her behavior. If she likes you she will come back... if she does she might start off by asking "What is wrong?" DO NOT FALL FOR THIS... she is trying to start an argument that you CAN NOT win. Just smile and say, "Come on, you are not stupid, I'm pretty sure you know what happened but you tell me what you think this is." If anything comes out of her mouth other than the correct answer, followed by an apology you are done. If she she hits the nail on the head, and apologizes... then you have something to work with.

But understand THIS FACT ABOUT WOMEN, she doesn't give a rat's @ss how you feel... if you start to complain about her behavior you are only telling her what she already knows and totally understands how her behavior might be effecting your attitude.... understand she does not care. What you say is not going to make her fell bad... what you say is not going to get her to change her behavior... she has to self-correct. If she is clueless that her actions are inappropriate, then you have a narcissist, which is not something you should be willing to put up with.

Smile and walk away.

I Gotta work on less complaining and life insatisfaction.

Since i tend to repeat alot... I made a game out of it....when i am complaining or rant about me.... Instead of speaking it all i just Do "insert repeat function"...

It helps to rewire m'y brain and turn a heavy situation into something light