First date length

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,406
Reaction score
3,350
Age
35
Location
London
I used to schedule all my dates after work during the week. They would start between 6-7pm and finish 10-12pm where we would either go to someone’s house or call it a night.

I no longer work in the city and I have a date on Saturday. This girl has proposed lunch time or 2pm and said she wants some drinks, so my usual alcohol filled night date is out of the question.

I’ve been seeing 45min to 2hours is common. I don’t think I’ve ever had a date that short, even the ones I didn’t click with I got a couple shots down them and worked my charm into the night. I have less tolerance for BS now so if they are ugly or we are not vibing I walk.

Am I expected to have 2 drinks and say take care and bounce? I’ve never had a coffee date or a lunch/early afternoon date (as a first date).

Could I just tell her I’m taking my godson to football and can only do 6-7pm onwards?

My goal is to get her back to my place, or at least charm her enough that I can invite her straight over next date and beyond.

FYI - I haven’t had enough time to run my sexual escalation game Pre date so it’s kinda cold, we’ve had 1 phone call where we clicked but I had work calls coming in.

Little out of practice here.
 

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,406
Reaction score
3,350
Age
35
Location
London
All my good first dates have been long. Although I’ve had a few Lunch dates during work hours that were, of necessity, short.
Oh that reminds me I did a lunch time date a work, I think the short timescales and definite end time works in favour of a good first date there. She was an older women and I made her fwb from 2018 until last September when she started pushing for more, she was about 38 by then and I was banging her sporadicly like 3 times a year in the end so I found it weird she thought it could be anything.
 

pipeman84

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 21, 2022
Messages
1,442
Reaction score
1,875
Age
40
Location
Europe
Could I just tell her I’m taking my godson to football and can only do 6-7pm onwards?
What difference does it make if it's a lunch date or 6-7pm? :rolleyes:
It sounds you've never met in person, so it can last for 5min if the chemistry isn't there.
 

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,406
Reaction score
3,350
Age
35
Location
London
What difference does it make if it's a lunch date or 6-7pm? :rolleyes:
It sounds you've never met in person, so it can last for 5min if the chemistry isn't there.
The difference is, it can turn into back at my place much easier in the evening. If the date gets dry at 3pm we are much likely going home empty handed. We don’t want that.

No I haven’t met her before she’s from OLD.
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

pipeman84

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 21, 2022
Messages
1,442
Reaction score
1,875
Age
40
Location
Europe
The difference is, it can turn into back at my place much easier in the evening.
So you're counting on getting her tipsy? :rolleyes: Beside being immoral and legally risky, how fun can it really be to have sex with an unwilling and inebriated woman?
Now, let's say she remains sober and does come to your place, which is your stated goal ... that basically makes her a hoe, so why don't you just take the direct route with an escort?
 

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,406
Reaction score
3,350
Age
35
Location
London
So you're counting on getting her tipsy? :rolleyes: Beside being immoral and legally risky, how fun can it really be to have sex with an unwilling and inebriated woman?
Now, let's say she remains sober and does come to your place, which is your stated goal ... that basically makes her a hoe, so why don't you just take the direct route with an escort?
You’re a weirdo, I’m not sure if it’s just me, but your posts aimed at me have a tone I don’t like, it’s feminine emojis, it’s passive aggression, you need to fall back considering I don’t know you.

Not once did I say I’m trying to get her drunk or do anything illegal. Or try to have sex with an unwilling woman, I think your incel lifestyle has warped your mind.

Night dates lead to sex more than lunch dates, regardless of alcohol. If you weren’t such a keyboard faggot and got your piece wet you would understand this. I’m asking advice from men on this forum not people like you.
 

pipeman84

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 21, 2022
Messages
1,442
Reaction score
1,875
Age
40
Location
Europe
@Murk hey man, only 3 insults in one post? :rolleyes:

Not once did I say I’m trying to get her drunk or do anything illegal.
This girl has proposed lunch time or 2pm and said she wants some drinks, so my usual alcohol filled night date is out of the question.
Hello. Hello.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,526
Reaction score
11,387
If the first date doesn't involve sex, 1.5-2.5 hours is good if it is a standard bar date. Activity dates are a little bit different.

Avoid dinner dates in restaurants and coffee shop dates.

Lunch dates are even worse than dinner dates in restaurants. Lunch dates are not romantic/sexual at all. That's a waste of time.

It's better to arrange first dates through some real life method than through some tech-based method.
 

Well I'm here to tell you there is such a magic wand. Something that will make you almost completely irresistible to any woman you "point it" at. Something guaranteed to fill your life with love, romance, and excitement.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

DonJuanjr

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
3,365
Reaction score
2,362
Age
36
Why is that weird ot immoral? He's not putting a gun to her head and telling her to drink. Alcohol helps people get lose and if they're having fun in the date where's the drawback? That she can regret later and say it was r*pe? That's a chance men take with every woman.
It's good to see those that are still under the spell of the feminine imperative blurt out.... They instantly out themselves as fake, manipulated, and not to be taken seriously.... So on the ignore list they go....
 

pipeman84

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 21, 2022
Messages
1,442
Reaction score
1,875
Age
40
Location
Europe
Why is that weird ot immoral? He's not putting a gun to her head and telling her to drink. Alcohol helps people get lose and if they're having fun in the date where's the drawback? That she can regret later and say it was r*pe? That's a chance men take with every woman.
Well, a man, better said a gentleman, would stop the girl from drinking and putting herself in a position to be taken advantage of if he sees she's not smart/mature enough to do it herself. That's leadership. Also, there's nothing suave about having sex with a tipsy woman after first date, while running the risk of getting into legal trouble/having reputation ruined.
 

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,406
Reaction score
3,350
Age
35
Location
London
@Murk hey man, only 3 insults in one post? :rolleyes:



Hello. Hello.
English must not be your first language, or you’re very low IQ, because that’s not at all what my sentence implies. I said, SHE said she wanted drinks, it’s not my usual alcohol filled night, does not imply I plan on getting her drunk and taking advantage. Do you think alcohol = men taking advantage of women?

Like I said you need to get out more, you post about virgins all day while jerking off all night. You need therapy.
 

Deranged

Don Juan
Joined
May 16, 2022
Messages
142
Reaction score
98
Location
Canada
So you're counting on getting her tipsy? :rolleyes: Beside being immoral and legally risky, how fun can it really be to have sex with an unwilling and inebriated woman?
Now, let's say she remains sober and does come to your place, which is your stated goal ... that basically makes her a hoe, so why don't you just take the direct route with an escort?
I appreciate your moral standing.
 

pipeman84

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 21, 2022
Messages
1,442
Reaction score
1,875
Age
40
Location
Europe
I said, SHE said she wanted drinks, it’s not my usual alcohol filled night, does not imply I plan on getting her drunk and taking advantage. Do you think alcohol = men taking advantage of women?
She wanted drinks at 12pm, but you want to push her towards your 'usual alcohol filled' 6-7pm date because it's easier to get people drunk at night rather than at lunch. My previous post outed your intention, that's why you started insulting me.
Yeah, I think by using alcohol to get into a woman's pants you are taking advantage of her. You're the man, the leader, the rational one ... she's the emotional, immature being, looking for someone to follow ... and there you are saying: here, have some more alcohol. Wow, great leadership right there. Not.
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,665
Reaction score
4,429
If the first date doesn't involve sex, 1.5-2.5 hours is good if it is a standard bar date. Activity dates are a little bit different.

Avoid dinner dates in restaurants and coffee shop dates.

Lunch dates are even worse than dinner dates in restaurants. Lunch dates are not romantic/sexual at all. That's a waste of time.

It's better to arrange first dates through some real life method than through some tech-based method.
I believe it actually shows lack of dating experience when a man spends to much on a first date.

You just met her, why wouldn't you have another woman lined up? Freaking starbucks is a scam, approx 15 bucks for two medium sized coffees. Thats more than enough money spend on someone you don't even know.

Men need to understand this! You disqualify yourself by trying to hard. This aint the 90's anymore.

I used to schedule all my dates after work during the week. They would start between 6-7pm and finish 10-12pm where we would either go to someone’s house or call it a night.

I no longer work in the city and I have a date on Saturday. This girl has proposed lunch time or 2pm and said she wants some drinks, so my usual alcohol filled night date is out of the question.

I’ve been seeing 45min to 2hours is common. I don’t think I’ve ever had a date that short, even the ones I didn’t click with I got a couple shots down them and worked my charm into the night. I have less tolerance for BS now so if they are ugly or we are not vibing I walk.

Am I expected to have 2 drinks and say take care and bounce? I’ve never had a coffee date or a lunch/early afternoon date (as a first date).

Could I just tell her I’m taking my godson to football and can only do 6-7pm onwards?

My goal is to get her back to my place, or at least charm her enough that I can invite her straight over next date and beyond.

FYI - I haven’t had enough time to run my sexual escalation game Pre date so it’s kinda cold, we’ve had 1 phone call where we clicked but I had work calls coming in.

Little out of practice here.
I like to meet up after diner and preferably not in the weekend. Gives me the opportunity to cut the date short or " make an exception because we vibe so good together ".

If she's into me, it wont take hours to convince her. She probably sees me, and decides within 10 seconds if she'll feck me or not. If she does want me, keeping the date short will only make her more curious.
 
Last edited:

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,526
Reaction score
11,387
Freaking starbucks is a scam, approx 15 bucks for two medium sized coffees. Thats more than enough money spend on someone you don't even know.
It is part of the cost of attraction-seduction. $15 is close to the cost of 2 alcoholic beverages at a bar as well.

The bigger problem is the notion that men are expected to take on the costs of dates. It's difficult to change that system. You either play or you don't.

There have been many times since I finished college in the mid-2000s where I had dates and the woman had a higher salary than I had at that time. Guess who picked up the total cost of the date? Me. How fair is that? Women love feminism when it is convenient for them. Despite 50-60 years of feminism, I'm still absorbing all the costs of early stage dates. Unfortunately, there isn't a good alternative. The best solution is to become the "hot guy at the Ibiza/Cancun foam party" type. Those guys don't have to do as much buying of drinks at bars and on dates in order to get laid. Women break rules for Alphas and make rules for Betas. When a more Alpha male absorbs the cost for a date, he's more likely to get sex out of it and less likely to deal with post-date flaking without sex.
 

CollegeMan22

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2021
Messages
255
Reaction score
348
My best first dates have not always been the longest, but have been mobile. We start at one place, walk around, then go to more locations. This is ideal to do (a) where there is a high concentration of nightlife/bars or (b) in a nature area / park. The key point is that you have to lead her to the new locations. Suggest or simply say that you both are going somewhere else, then lead the way. This puts her in compliance mode and also means that she trusts you enough to follow you to places. Which means that you have a better shot of getting her to follow you back to your room.

I would spend 30 minutes to 1 hour at each location, and go to 2-3 locations. This means that the total date time would be 2-3 hours. Once you hit a good ending point, tell her that you have sh!t to do and then wish her goodbye.
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,825
Reaction score
4,127
Could I just tell her I’m taking my godson to football and can only do 6-7pm onwards?
Hell yeah bro. I dont go out before 3-5 pm (unless work or adulting). I rather work or something from morning until 1-2pm and then worry about fun stuff. If you are not feeling going out so early, you shouldnt.
 

CollegeMan22

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2021
Messages
255
Reaction score
348
Hell yeah bro. I dont go out before 3-5 pm (unless work or adulting). I rather work or something from morning until 1-2pm and then worry about fun stuff. If you are not feeling going out so early, you shouldnt.
Same here. I don't do dates that are before sunset. Nighttime is the time of love and sex. Inhibitions are released and the darkness stops the girls' worries about looking too sluttish during the day. I've found that daytime dates are boring and lack sexuality. Sexual tension has the opportunity to ramp up at night, no matter what kind of date you go on. You're not going to sneak in an intense make out with her leaning against a tree during the day with cars driving by. But I've done that many times at night.
 
Top