Not Really a Grown Man

[jaymbrs]

I'd like to share my latest conversation with a woman I've been trying to date. She's a single mom (many of you will stop reading at this point) and said because I have no kids, I can't consider myself a grown man. She wants a guy with kid raising experience. I told her good luck and ended the conversation there. Normally things like this wouldn't bother me but are we seriously at the point where everything is essentially backwards which is to have kids THEN get into a relationship?

 

[Dr.Suave]

I'd like to share my latest conversation with a woman I've been trying to date. She's a single mom (many of you will stop reading at this point) and said because I have no kids, I can't consider myself a grown man. She wants a guy with kid raising experience. I told her good luck and ended the conversation there. Normally things like this wouldn't bother me but are we seriously at the point where everything is essentially backwards which is to have kids THEN get into a relationship?

Thats a very good point. She´s crazy, you dodged a bullet.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I have no kids, I can't consider myself a grown man.

Common gaslighting structure.

You can't be [genuinely and commonly desired trait] until you [act like I want you to act.]

are we seriously at the point where everything is essentially backwards which is to have kids THEN get into a relationship?

We are not, but that's what she'd like you to believe. That her opinions are objective and/or widely held.

woman I've been trying to date

What do you mean trying?

 

[jaymbrs]

We are not, but that's what she'd like you to believe. That her opinions are objective and/or widely held.

We're getting close. I've even heard single fathers say how they prefer a woman who already has her own children.

What do you mean trying?

Take out on a date but have not actually gone out with her. I didn't know how else to word that.

 

[Murk]

We're getting close. I've even heard single fathers say how they prefer a woman who already has her own children.

No, you're just hanging around low mentality people with no standards and plenty of mistakes behind them. Let the parents date the parents and leave us childless people to procreate in our own families without baggage.

 

[The Duke]

I'd like to share my latest conversation with a woman I've been trying to date. She's a single mom (many of you will stop reading at this point) and said because I have no kids, I can't consider myself a grown man. She wants a guy with kid raising experience. I told her good luck and ended the conversation there. Normally things like this wouldn't bother me but are we seriously at the point where everything is essentially backwards which is to have kids THEN get into a relationship?

My guess is she dated some guy in the past that didn't like dealing with her kids and ended it with her.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

We're getting close.

I beg to differ. I think most people would rather prefer a new partner without any baggage, children or an unacceptable body count.

Of course, water seeks its own level. (Not you just people in general).

 

[Billtx49]

I'd like to share my latest conversation with a woman I've been trying to date. She's a single mom (many of you will stop reading at this point) and said because I have no kids, I can't consider myself a grown man. She wants a guy with kid raising experience. I told her good luck and ended the conversation there. Normally things like this wouldn't bother me but are we seriously at the point where everything is essentially backwards which is to have kids THEN get into a relationship?

Besides the obvious not great idea of her wanting you to be a substitute daddy for another man’s kid, the huge Red flag here is her already inferring you’re less of a man if you don’t do what she wants …
If it keeps up, women like that can turn a man’s life into a living hell.

 

[Gamisch]

I'd like to share my latest conversation with a woman I've been trying to date. She's a single mom (many of you will stop reading at this point) and said because I have no kids, I can't consider myself a grown man. She wants a guy with kid raising experience. I told her good luck and ended the conversation there. Normally things like this wouldn't bother me but are we seriously at the point where everything is essentially backwards which is to have kids THEN get into a relationship?

Glad to see content for the forum never stops coming. Some women have no emotional filters and will just spit out everything that's on their mind. Hilarious sometimes.

I assume you met her via a dating app. This one is straight up looking for a replacement daddy. It does matter how old her kid is , or kids are . Otherwise it's just gaslighting bs, because every woman I've known with kids will find a way to get D -ed down when needed. She probably just wasn't feeling it and had some other suitors lined up already.

If and that's a big IF you want to "convince " such a woman you know your way around kids, then you should mention your cousin kids, friends kids ect. But yeah, that's a big if...

No, you're just hanging around low mentality people with no standards and plenty of mistakes behind them. Let the parents date the parents and leave us childless people to procreate in our own families without baggage.

Oof, that a harsh way of saying it but you are right. Having a child (should be) is a conscious decision , and one that will influence the rest of your life including your future dating life.

I have a kid and I have to say it is easier to have a woman that knows her way around kids. It's strange to ask a young 25 y .o woman without children to comb your kids hair or someting like that.

And let's be honest, for most men without kids ot will just be awkward. Such a man willl just wish that her kid would disappear, sleep faster or stfu more often .

 

[jaymbrs]

Glad to see content for the forum never stops coming. Some women have no emotional filters and will just spit out everything that's on their mind. Hilarious sometimes.

I assume you met her via a dating app. This one is straight up looking for a replacement daddy. It does matter how old her kid is , or kids are . Otherwise it's just gaslighting bs, because every woman I've known with kids will find a way to get D -ed down when needed. She probably just wasn't feeling it and had some other suitors lined up already.

If and that's a big IF you want to "convince " such a woman you know your way around kids, then you should mention your cousin kids, friends kids ect. But yeah, that's a big if...


Oof, that a harsh way of saying it but you are right. Having a child (should be) is a conscious decision , and one that will influence the rest of your life including your future dating life.

I have a kid and I have to say it is easier to have a woman that knows her way around kids. It's strange to ask a young 25 y .o woman without children to comb your kids hair or someting like that.

And let's be honest, for most men without kids ot will just be awkward. Such a man willl just wish that her kid would disappear, sleep faster or stfu more often .

I could've told her how my ex has a now 14 year old but I managed as a male role model in her life while I was in that relationship. Practiced playing softball with, helping her with her batting, talking to her about boys and school. But I chose not to, just because of how she came off all righteous over her "requirements". For the record, I don't prefer single moms, but I don't disqualify them. I know not all of them are like that, but this woman really made it seem like I didn't measure up. Anyways, next.

 

[SW15]

because I have no kids, I can't consider myself a grown man.

This is a common stigma against childless men. It is most commonly held by single moms. There are even some older childless women (35-54) who will think that childless men of a similar age are immature.

As childless Millennials get older, I expect this stigma to decrease a little bit because of the increase in childlessness.

 

[RazorRambo24]

you already know, single moms recreational use only.. you shoulda told her, whats that gotta do with me and you?.. you think i want to be with you? im just here for a good time, not a long time.. men gotta laugh at this stupid sh.t women say so they know how ridiculous it is.

 

[zekko]

Normally things like this wouldn't bother me but are we seriously at the point where everything is essentially backwards which is to have kids THEN get into a relationship?

Things have been backwards for a long time. Couples used to date to see if they wanted to have sex. Now they have sex to see if they want to date.

 

[Kotaix]

She probably divorced the guy because he was an immature baby. I've seen lots of women who have 2 kids and 3 children because the guys are childish deadbeats (and usually criminals).

Having a child changes a person, she is correct in wanting a man who has been thru it. It sure beats wasting her time on you single guys who just want to bang her because you know she's not wife material. Woman has kids to feed and she needs a provider.

 

[Nerevar]

You made the right call. You dodged a bullet. Do you really want an entitled single mom? you can do better than that. You can very easily do better than that.

 

[bmp2cpm]

…said because I have no kids, I can't consider myself a grown man. She wants a guy with kid raising experience.

Unpopular opinion…it was a sh*t test and you failed. She was fishing for your experience with children, eg siblings’ kids, friends’ kids.

The sh*t test went completely over your head.
She vetted and you let her disqualify you.

No major loss here, what with her being a single mom and all.

But remember this the next time a quality woman sh*t tests you.

This is exactly why I am a fan of being pre-vetted via a circle of friends. You completely bypass the ridiculous sh*t tests of women.

There are women I stopped dating because they acted really inappropriately. Only years later did I realize they were acting that way as part of a sh*t test.

When women get inconsistent “vibes” from a man, they get a little crazy and start doing ridiculous sh*t tests. Being able to navigate these situations is a good skill to have.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Unpopular opinion…it was a sh*t test and you failed. She was fishing for your experience with children, eg siblings’ kids, friends’ kids.

The sh*t test went completely over your head.
She vetted and you let her disqualify you.

No major loss here, what with her being a single mom and all.

But remember this the next time a quality woman sh*t tests you.

This is exactly why I am a fan of being pre-vetted via a circle of friends. You completely bypass the ridiculous sh*t tests of women.

There are women I stopped dating because they acted really inappropriately. Only years later did I realize they were acting that way as part of a sh*t test.

When women get inconsistent “vibes” from a man, they get a little crazy and start doing ridiculous sh*t tests. Being able to navigate these situations is a good skill to have.

What would have been the proper response for her?

 

[jaymbrs]

Unpopular opinion…it was a sh*t test and you failed. She was fishing for your experience with children, eg siblings’ kids, friends’ kids.

The sh*t test went completely over your head.
She vetted and you let her disqualify you.

No major loss here, what with her being a single mom and all.

But remember this the next time a quality woman sh*t tests you.

This is exactly why I am a fan of being pre-vetted via a circle of friends. You completely bypass the ridiculous sh*t tests of women.

There are women I stopped dating because they acted really inappropriately. Only years later did I realize they were acting that way as part of a sh*t test.

When women get inconsistent “vibes” from a man, they get a little crazy and start doing ridiculous sh*t tests. Being able to navigate these situations is a good skill to have.

Sometimes you just gotta be okay with failing a **** test.

 

[bmp2cpm]

What would have been the proper response for her?

It wasn’t just one sh*t test he failed. He failed multiple ones. The only one that OP really noticed was the big one at the end that he posted about.

To pass, all he had to do was to mention whatever experience he had with children, demonstrate he likes children, and very subtly hint a willingness to commit in some small way to her children.

This was never done, so after failing multiple tests of vetting she gave him one outrageous, ridiculous sh*t test at the end.

 

[bmp2cpm]

Sometimes you just gotta be okay with failing a **** test.

True, but it is much better to disqualify than to be disqualified.