Are they looking for a boyfriend/husband unit or are they looking for YOU

user252009

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
728
Reaction score
340
Age
39
I started thinking about this the other day. Most of us here being red pill aware, we know that often women won’t love a man for who he is but what he can do for her. I cannot seem to shake this notion with the new dates and my radar is on DEFCON 1. The notion of “she’s probably looking for a guy that can provide with anything she might need, and isn’t actually interested in me” is constantly present, and it’s not a good feeling if I’d want to establish a genuine connection.

How do you guys go about with this?
 

jaymbrs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
1,986
Reaction score
1,986
Age
38
Don’t forget, women can’t come to the table empty handed either. So concentrate more on what she has to offer. I’ve been able to disqualify women easier once I realize it’s nowhere near an even “trade”.
 

user252009

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
728
Reaction score
340
Age
39
Don’t forget, women can’t come to the table empty handed either. So concentrate more on what she has to offer. I’ve been able to disqualify women easier once I realize it’s nowhere near an even “trade”.
Of course. This is much easier in my mid-to-late 30's now, but you know how entitled they all are; just cut ties with one that's a 3 that thinks she's an 8.
 

Divorced w 3

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2022
Messages
2,584
Reaction score
1,461
Don’t forget, women can’t come to the table empty handed either. So concentrate more on what she has to offer. I’ve been able to disqualify women easier once I realize it’s nowhere near an even “trade”.
So true. Need to know what you want first, and then see the big picture.
 

pipeman84

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 21, 2022
Messages
1,434
Reaction score
1,873
Age
40
Location
Europe
How do you guys go about with this?
It's actually simple: 1. has to be a virgin or max 2 previous guys (under exceptional circumstances)
2. no mental health issues
It doesn't stop amazing me how guys believe women with several failed relationships are worth investing into. She's been with 5 guys to whom she told 'I love you' and had sex with them, dumped them or got dumped but now that she says 'I love you' to YOU, that's something you can trust. Really?! C'mon now. :lol:

I'm not going to necessarily assume they are devious and seeing men as an ATM, like some of those toxic red pill gurus would say. It's just that they probably have a different notion of what love/relationship mean and a track record to prove it. So why waste your time with them? :rolleyes:
 

Billtx49

Moderator
Joined
May 23, 2013
Messages
6,078
Reaction score
5,482
Location
DFW
How do you guys go about with this?
Knowledge gained is usually the key to solving any life problem we get faced with. My first option would be to Google ‘female commitment signs’. If she hard clicks All the boxes, she’s probably a long term keeper and not just a Fluffer with a basic hidden agenda…
Regardless, it’s always a gamble, so keep your starting bet low.
 

BillyPilgrim

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
4,884
Reaction score
3,797
I started thinking about this the other day. Most of us here being red pill aware, we know that often women won’t love a man for who he is but what he can do for her. I cannot seem to shake this notion with the new dates and my radar is on DEFCON 1. The notion of “she’s probably looking for a guy that can provide with anything she might need, and isn’t actually interested in me” is constantly present, and it’s not a good feeling if I’d want to establish a genuine connection.

How do you guys go about with this?
Look for CLICHED RESPONSES to anything you say, via text/app/phone/in-person whatever. The more cliched she is, the LESS she is looking for YOU and the more she is looking for a placeholder.
 

user252009

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
728
Reaction score
340
Age
39
Look for CLICHED RESPONSES to anything you say, via text/app/phone/in-person whatever. The more cliched she is, the LESS she is looking for YOU and the more she is looking for a placeholder.
That’s a good one, thank you
 

BadBoy89

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2020
Messages
1,786
Reaction score
2,129
The notion of “she’s probably looking for a guy that can provide with anything she might need, and isn’t actually interested in me” is constantly present, and it’s not a good feeling if I’d want to establish a genuine connection.
Why do you want to establish a connection? Establishing that is her problem not yours.

All you want to do have sex with her, or get her pregnant, or have some fun with her. You don’t want “be together” as “one“ and ”fall in love”,
 

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,348
Reaction score
3,248
Age
39
Its a fallacy on our part to expect women to love us for us. In the Bible God never tells Eve to love Adam. He tells her to obey and respect him. Only men can truly love.

Love means willing to sacrifice everything for something. Men are designed to sacrifice for their woman. Women are designed to sacrifice for her children.

Women can not love men in the truest sense.
 

user252009

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
728
Reaction score
340
Age
39
Why do you want to establish a connection? Establishing that is her problem not yours.

All you want to do have sex with her, or get her pregnant, or have some fun with her. You don’t want “be together” as “one“ and ”fall in love”,
Because I want a human connection with a potential life mate, and not have her be a piece of meat
 

user252009

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
728
Reaction score
340
Age
39
Its a fallacy on our part to expect women to love us for us. In the Bible God never tells Eve to love Adam. He tells her to obey and respect him. Only men can truly love.

Love means willing to sacrifice everything for something. Men are designed to sacrifice for their woman. Women are designed to sacrifice for her children.

Women can not love men in the truest sense.
That’s my question; how can we know what we know but still love them?
 

pipeman84

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 21, 2022
Messages
1,434
Reaction score
1,873
Age
40
Location
Europe
That’s my question; how can we know what we know but still love them?
I think the woman has to be at a certain level to appreciate that love. If not, as the Bible says, you're casting pearls before swine. Or put in a modern context, let's say you're a billionaire and want to do charity...you wouldn't go to some remote tribes with bags full of $100 bills, would you? Because they wouldn't recognize the value and use it to stoke the fire. Or round up hard drugs addicts and pay for their next dose.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,570
Reaction score
4,362
I started thinking about this the other day. Most of us here being red pill aware, we know that often women won’t love a man for who he is but what he can do for her. I cannot seem to shake this notion with the new dates and my radar is on DEFCON 1. The notion of “she’s probably looking for a guy that can provide with anything she might need, and isn’t actually interested in me” is constantly present, and it’s not a good feeling if I’d want to establish a genuine connection.

How do you guys go about with this?
Although the Disney fantasy seems easier , this is a more realistic view on dating. Especially when you are mid 30's. Assume most women will be damaged and out with their own agenda. The main question is can both you and her satisfy each other's needs, temporarily most of the cases.

She doesnt have to say" so you looking for a steady easy poosy supply ". Just like you wint say" so you're done partying amd now you want a provider?".

The game is sport fishing. Catch and release. Whether a man decides to stop fishing because he has a "good fish "is up to him. Just dont be surprised when you change the rules of the game the outcome might be unsatisfactory.
 

Bingo-Player

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2014
Messages
3,377
Reaction score
3,870
Location
uk
They seek out status, confidence & financial security the same way we seek out a pretty face a small waist , long legs and nice b00bs

Come on lets get real nobody is really in this game because of " who you are "

It's more " how do you fit my requirements for a long term partner" these terms have to be met first

Only once they are met and exchanged on both sides can you begin to properly bond and enjoy eacthoher for "who you are"
 

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,348
Reaction score
3,248
Age
39
That’s my question; how can we know what we know but still love them?
I dont love them anymore. I cant. We cant. We know too much.

I am co dependant so I see them as something that I need to protect. But I cant love them.

Like they say " you either know them or love them. You cant do both".

You dont need to love them. You need to provide and protect them for the sake of your kids. If you dont want kids them dont waste time with trying to " love" them.
 

Bingo-Player

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2014
Messages
3,377
Reaction score
3,870
Location
uk
Because I want a human connection with a potential life mate, and not have her be a piece of meat
This is only a reality that is available in mid to old age once everything else goes to sh1t and all you have left is retirement

Most relationships before 50 are pretty much destined to fail

Why !?!

because people have such unrealistic expectations of what a relationship is , it aint some harmonious whimsical lifestyle that solves all of life problems

You will Pi$$ each other off , you will lose interest in each other sexually , kids will drive you fvcking mental , money will be tight, Inlaws are usually a pain in the A$$, the banality of family life will drive you fvcking mental

Until all of a sudden BOOOM midlife crisis , divorce and a 30 year old porsche boxter is slammed on the drive and you have these blokes in their 40's trying to hit clubs like they are 21 again

I firmly believe that its better to try and have a series of "mid term" relationships during your mid 20's and 30's

You have to shop around a bit and discover both yourself and others

There is nothing wrong with having say X3 5 year relationships in a 20 year period

You will learn hell of a lot more than if you stayed with the same person for 20 years

Once you are in mid life THEN is the time to find the "life partner" the person you will die with
 

Ricky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2002
Messages
4,058
Reaction score
808
Age
50
Its a fallacy on our part to expect women to love us for us. In the Bible God never tells Eve to love Adam. He tells her to obey and respect him. Only men can truly love.

Love means willing to sacrifice everything for something. Men are designed to sacrifice for their woman. Women are designed to sacrifice for her children.

Women can not love men in the truest sense.
Men Love women, women love children, children love pets. Not sure who came up with that but..

Well i love my kid and pets too.
 
Top