@BeExcellent I have come to really admire you, but it boggles my mind why you take such criticisms (or what you perceive to be criticisms) so personally and feel you need to defend yourself against them to the extent that you do.
Does it really matter what
@SW15 or anyone else thinks? Everyone is entitled to their opinions including about you, your fiancé and how you came to be.
Being an intelligent and evolved person, you must know a secure genuinely confident person would simply let it go, ignore, move on, who cares?
I mean seriously, you know why your fiancé became attracted to you and ultimately fell in love with you, why do you care what anyone else thinks, especially on an anonymous forum?
Truth is, your defensive stance works against you rather than for you. It just doesn't place you in a good positive light, it makes you appear a bit full of yourself even though I know that is not your intention.
You're simply defending yourself and wanting to prove to the poster who criticized you and anyone else listening why they're "wrong." I get it.
Recently, I was criticized and well as my husband. A couple of posters accused him of being a psychopath, dark triad and suggested that is why I fell for him.
So not true and said so, once or twice tops. Mentioned that I would appreciate both my husband and myself being respected and then I LET IT GO.
Nothing was mentioned since (to my knowledge anyway).
Are you into Eastern philosophy/religion at all? Buddhism? Speak your piece once, then let it go.
The Law of Detachment
1. Today I will commit myself to detachment. I will allow myself and those around me the freedom to be as they are. I will not rigidly impose my idea of how things should be. I will not force solutions on problems, thereby creating new problems. I will participate in everything with detached involvement.
It took me a LONG time to learn this even during my time on this forum. Hell I am still learning! And every once in a while I get wound up too. But then I think about this law and let it roll off. Not doing so only creates MORE drama.
Sometimes I still fail at this, but I try!
But best to just ignore what you perceive as criticisms or insults you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary frustration by doing so.
Hope things are going well with your wedding/marriage plans and I wish both you and your fiancé all the best!