Woman Goes On '6 Dates A Week' To Avoid Paying For Groceries

BillyPilgrim

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Classic Red Flag of a hopeless romantic timewaster on the apps. Any girl that hints at this or says the romantic relationship BS, gets an automatic ghost or left swipe from me.

What you are looking for doesn't exist and it's the reason most of these women end up getting owned by psychopathic men lol.
While this is obvious on the surface, what's unspoken is that any chick explicitly saying this has set an unreasonably high bar for this "chemistry" without telling you how high it is.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Which is precisely why a man can believe he did every "right" but the woman simply wasnt "feelin it" as they say and declined second date or ghosted.
"Precisely" she says, while omitting the part about the unreasonably high standards. Convenient :)

2 demerits for the shaming language though, it's always a dead giveaway lolz. Carry on Cats, this is an amusing defense.
 
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But initially, it's very much about chemistry/energy, beyond the superficial
I don’t disagree with this point. My biggest gripe is that women tend to judge a guy’s vibe on the first or second date which I think is pointless and silly. IDK what magnificent spark you are looking for on the literal first date, but that’s insane. Sure, I could pull a psychopathic move and fake this spark, but that does not benefit you or me. The only guys with this spark on the first date are going to be good actors aka psychopaths!
 

BillyPilgrim

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You're not getting it. He is not doing anything, that my point. He's not some sociopath who "has this spark," the spark is the energy generating between the both of you..

No one is "doing" anything to create it, again it cannot be created because it's intangible.

Yes a man can be good-looking, charming, funny, make her laugh, spend money etc BUT that's not genuine chemistry.

Her interest and attraction are based on the superficial and agree many superficial women will fall for it and the man. It's based on what he's "doing," the effort he's making and you better believe that when he stops "doing" and/or when a better deal comes along (better looking, more money) she WILL dump him.

Look it's apparent you've never felt that. Hopefully someday you will and then you'll know what I'm talking about.

But once you've experienced it, you can't go back to dating for superficial reasons.

I'd seriously rather stay home watching a good flick than be out with a man I wasn't truly "feelin it" with.

No matter how hot he is. That's is my truth, 100%.

And trust me, it only happened very rarely and we went on to have LTR and now marriage.
So this is "your" truth that you're extending to an entire gender. Well done, Cats! :love:
 

BillyPilgrim

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The part that you don't get Cats is that this "intangible energy" can absolutely indeed be manipulated. If you can control your thoughts, mood, vibe, etc you can affect the chemistry.

But reading between the lines here, you've experienced the non-physical equivalent of the Alpha Widow (I know you're married, but this is still a valid phenomenon). Once a certain level of chemistry has been experienced, the Chemistry AW will demand nothing less from other men. This is the crux of the issue here and why any woman who expressly states that she desires this will deservedly be avoided like the plague by experienced men.

Like the plague.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Where did I say I was extending to an entire gender?

Did you miss this? Lmao
Sorry I missed the word "many" in that word salad of yours. Efficiency of expression is your friend, Cats.
 

BillyPilgrim

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OK so apparently four men including hubs "manipulated" me into feeling chemistry, becoming exclusive, agreeing to LTR and now marriage.

The other godonlyknows how many men I've gone on dates with did not possess this magical power so no second date.

GMAFB Billy. Seriously.

If you've never felt it, fine. Own it and stop attempting to explain away a phenomenon you have no knowledge about or experience with.
No breaks for scraggly cats.

We've all been in love here, Cats. STFU. No one's saying your men are players.

Save your squirrely communication style for your hubs. Thanks :)
 

BillyPilgrim

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YOU are the one engaging me, lol. If you don't want to hear, then (1] don't engage me by responding to my posts with insults or nonsense you know nothing about or (2) you STFU, strawman arguments and insults go both ways. :)
Where I am insulting you, Cats? Bad flea day today?
 
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You're not getting it. He is not doing anything, that my point. He's not some sociopath who "has this spark," the spark is the energy generating between the both of you..

No one is "doing" anything to create it, again it cannot be created because it's intangible.

Yes a man can be good-looking, charming, funny, make her laugh, spend money etc BUT that's not genuine chemistry.

Her interest and attraction are based on the superficial and agree many superficial women will fall for it and the man. It's based on what he's "doing," the effort he's making and you better believe that when he stops "doing" and/or when a better deal comes along (better looking, more money) she WILL dump him.

Look it's apparent you've never felt that. Hopefully someday you will and then you'll know what I'm talking about.

But once you've experienced it, you can't go back to dating for superficial reasons.

I'd seriously rather stay home watching a good flick than be out with a man I wasn't truly "feelin it" with.

No matter how hot he is. That is my truth, 100%.

And trust me, it only happened very rarely and we went on to have a LTR and now marriage.
I feel like this "chemistry", "spark", "vibe" is just a fancy way of saying I am attracted to psychopaths. I used to be so frustrated on receiving the "no spark" after the first date or getting ghosted, but then I started to notice that these girls stayed single or went thru broken relationship after broken relationship. I have even had the honor of having flings/dating these women and they all had PTSD from being screwed over by some anomaly extraordinary man in the past. Like @BillyPilgrim said, I could easily manipulate this intangible energy to pass this "vibe" sniff test because I know what it is. It is just frustrating to have a decent mutual first or second date with someone and it be wasted by this crap lol.
 

BillyPilgrim

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@Jake_Gyllenhaal69 I
There is no easy answer except to say there are women out there, including myself, who seek something deeper, something that cannot easily be explained, obviously! But when it exists, which again is very rare, it's unmistakable and powerful.
......and who are not willing to wait more than one date (on someone else's dime and time) to see if it naturally develops over time. This is why Hopeless Romantics are called "Hopeless". If you meet them socially it's one thing, but they are to be avoided at all costs when encountered over an online app.
 

BillyPilgrim

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I used to give it up to three dates until I learned if it's not there on the first, for ME, it's not happening.

And as such, there's NO need to be wasting my time or his. Or either of our money.

Some men have actually appreciated that aspect of it.

Yes I am a romantic, not hopelessly so, I'm married now after all.

However I am somewhat of an idealist, wrong or right. I own it.

I used to be friends with a women who felt nothing on the first or second date, but fell hard on the third.

They dated for five years and he was a psychopath! A serious sex addict who had been cheating on her since day one!

She gave it three dates and eventually succumbed to his good looks, wit and charm. Superficial manufactured bullsh*t.
Stopped at the first line. Jake was clearly talking about one-and-done date scenarios. You didn't purposefully mismatch the contexts to generate further discussion, did you?
 

BillyPilgrim

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I think I'm starting to uncover the Cats playbook:

1) Take an adversarial position defending unsavory female behavior, attempting to exhaust the enemy through misdirection and the sheer plethora of words

2) After defending such position, and amending the argument to reduce blowback, reconcile small point of agreement with enemy

3) Then, disclaiming that she herself "is not like that" and taking a maximum amount of her words and our time and energy to explain why

4) Concluding the episode by either agreeing or storming off in a huff. Either way, a win.
 
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It's simply an energy which is what genuine romantic chemistry is, a powerful force generating between two people. It cannot be manufactured by psychopaths or anyone else, NOT when it's genuine. And it's usually felt very quickly after meeting, before a man even has an opportunity to "do" anything.
This sounds like an attraction to a particular dark triad male like the Tinder Swindler/Christian Grey. These men are basically the white collar/more professional versions of "bad boys". Coach Greg Adams coined the term Tupac with a degree which I found hilarious too. These men carry themselves a certain way and are good at giving out good first impressions of themselves to fool others. These women become obsessed with trying to lock down "Tupac with a degree" or "Christian Grey" and get nothing out of it but a high notch count, inability to pair bond, and mental trauma.
 

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You do realize you're referring to my husband Jake, please respect that.
I don’t know your husband. Personally you could’ve given up and settled down. There’s a Netflix show about this called Sex/Life. I’m just giving you the type of msn you described in your description of the spark.


Would you rather a woman continue dating you, wasting your time and money, when she knows she's not "feelin it" and has no interest or attraction?
Not waste my time obviously. Either way, you are wasting a man’s time going in a first date regardless. Most of these women are considered serial daters and are too damaged to properly pair bond anymore. Hence, why I don’t even bother dealing with them anymore. However, there’s always going to be fresh meat men that have the unfortunate circumstance of encountering one.
 

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A lot of dating gurus (both male and female) suggest that (looks aside) a guy must actively show playfulness/flirting or there won’t be an “chemistry” from the chick’s perspective.

Then there is a different school of thought that says that “chemistry” is either there or it isn’t. That seems to imply that a totally dry/businesslike guy could hit it off with the right chick without any playfulness/flirting.

I don’t know for sure which school of thought is closer to truth. (I have a good guess though lol.)
 
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A lot of dating gurus (both male and female) suggest that (looks aside) a guy must actively show playfulness/flirting or there won’t be an “chemistry” from the chick’s perspective.

Then there is a different school of thought that says that “chemistry” is either there or it isn’t. That seems to imply that a totally dry/businesslike guy could hit it off with the right chick without any playfulness/flirting.

I don’t know for sure which school of thought is closer to truth. (I have a good guess though lol.)
I have no issue with chemistry. My issue is when broken hopeless romantic women become serial daters and use finding “the spark” as an excuse to do so. At this point, you are just searching for a certain dark triad man and wasting guys time and money.
 
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@catsmeow2 I’m not targeting you because you clearly stated that you have a 3 date rule at least. My main gripe is with women making this decision on the first date as an excuse to serial date.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Hey Cats can you Paypal Jake $20 for his time please? You guys can work out the deets.



(mods this is not a serious post)
 

BillyPilgrim

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@catsmeow2 I’m not targeting you because you clearly stated that you have a 3 date rule at least. My main gripe is with women making this decision on the first date as an excuse to serial date.
This is my main gripe as well but Cats needs a 3 POST rule too.
 
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